How To Last Longer In Bed – 23 Tips For Tonight

Do you regularly climax long before your partner does? Do you wish you could last long enough to fully satisfy and give them heart-pounding orgasms?

If sexual endurance is an issue for you, sooner or later it’s also going to be an issue for your relationship. And in my experience of premature ejaculation, it’s also head in hands embarrassing and an on-going blow to your self-confidence.

If this all sounds a little too familiar, relax – everything is about to change.

Fortunately, there are a myriad of ways to boost your performance between the sheets. In this article I’m going to teach you exactly how to last longer in bed, with easy and practical tips you can use right away, along with advice about gaining full control of your ejaculation.

Part 1: Tweaking

First up, let’s take a look at some adjustments you can make to the way you have sex. Most of these are easy to put into action – you just need to try to remember them when you’re being distracted by boobs and bum!

1. Choose your positions wisely

In my experience, there’s a simple equation to understand:

Physical + mental tension = quicker ejaculation

Positions which make your stomach, thighs and groin muscles tense have a particular way of making guys ejaculate sooner.

Avoid: the missionary position, doggy style (sorry, I know it’s awesome…) and most standing positions.

Do: the cowgirl (you lying down with her sitting on top), the reverse cowgirl (her on top facing away from you), and spoons (her lying on the side and you behind her).

2. Switch positions at the right time

A great way to reduce your arousal is to switch positions regularly. Try not to suddenly change what you’re doing if she’s nearing orgasm unless you want a mental slap in the face.

Generally though, position changes can help hold back ejaculation – it’s what guys do in porn films all the time. You can even stop and give her some oral or rub her vagina with your penis for a while to give yourself time to calm down.

3. Empty the love tank before having sex

This is a classic trick to last longer, and it can work wonders. If you masturbate an hour or two before sex, you’re much less likely to erupt through the sheer joy of finally having sex.

4. Go for a second round

Even if it’s all over quickly, don’t just roll over and hope she didn’t notice it was all a bit quick. Go for a second round as soon as your refractory (recovery) period is up. You’ll nearly always last longer the second time.

5. Don’t stop just because you had an orgasm

Sex doesn’t end the second you ejaculate. Be a good lover and turn your attention to her with your hands, give her oral sex or whatever she likes. You might even recover in time for the second round while she’s getting even more aroused, increasing the chances of the holy grail of coming at the same time.

6. Practice makes perfect

This isn’t exactly a quick tip, but it’s important nonetheless and links to the previous two points. Whether you’ve recently become sexually active, or have been for years, it’s essential to have sex regularly.

If you suffer from premature ejaculation, only having sex once every few days won’t help. Sure, some women will be less likely to want it if it’s always over quickly. But if you focus on her pleasure, she’ll be more than happy to get frisky on a more regular basis.

7. Keep calm and breathe

hand written note saying "just breathe"

Breathing slowly and deeply is a simple tip which can instantly help you last longer during sex

You’re not a dog, so don’t pant during sex. There, you’ll never forget this point now!

You can reduce your arousal by controlling your breathing during sex. Breathe in slowly for 4 seconds. Hold for 4 seconds. Then breathe out for 4 seconds. It’s amazing how much this alone helps rather than fast, shallow breaths which happen so naturally when you’re aroused.

8. Relax your body

Staying relaxed is well known to help guys last longer in the heat of the moment. If you notice yourself tensing your abdomen, bum and thighs especially, try to relax them.

You can switch position or consciously use your mind to ‘order’ them to relax. And remember the best positions to use in point 1 above.

9. Relax your mind

Relaxing the mind is a trickier beast to pin down. According to sex therapists, if you go into sex worrying about coming too soon, you’re more likely to do so.

So try using positive affirmations during sex to relax yourself. I know it’s easier said than done, but it’s not impossible. Tell yourself you’re a good lover, feeling calm and that everything is ok.

Alternatively, work on your general level of stress and anxiety in life. If you’re a particularly stress-laden and tense person, then doing meditation, yoga or relaxation exercises daily will make a difference.

If that all sounds a little too esoteric for you, just remember the breathing. That can help with both bodily and mental relaxation.

10. Wear a condom

Wearing a condom is one of the simplest ways to last longer in bed, even if it does come at a price. Sure, it doesn’t feel as good. But what’s better – 2 minutes of great feeling and a great ending for 1 person, or 10 minutes of good feeling and maybe a great ending for 2 people? You do the maths.

11. Get wet and slippy with lubricant

The wetter the vagina is, the less stimulation and pressure, and so the longer you’ll last. It’s one reason decent foreplay is essential, and also a reason to use lubricant and get wet and slippy together.

12. As Bruce Lee once said, “don’t think…feel…”

You’ve probably heard the classic advice of thinking about something boring or unpleasant. In my opinion, this is terrible advice churned out by countless online writers who’ve never experienced the problem and are just re-writing crap they read on another website. I mean, who wants to think about their grandma or dead puppies during sex?

Instead, try to focus on all the sensations in your body, and your partner’s too. Don’t allow your mind to get stuck thinking only about the sensation in your genitals though. Think how every part of your body feels from your toes to your fingers. Enjoy the complete experience.

13. Relax and do nothing

As I said before (and will probably say again!), relaxation is key. So much so, that relaxing to the point of doing absolutely nothing can help you last longer. If you’re on your back you can try to totally relax and let her take control for a minute or two.

Alternatively, both of you can simply lie still together with you inside and have a tantric moment. This gives you a chance to focus on your breathing and lower your arousal level, as well as connect on a more profound level.

14. Vary your speed and depth of thrusting

If you go at it hammer and tongs, you’ll ejaculate sooner – it’s as simple as that. But women also like variation, so you can sometimes thrust slowly, sometimes pause deep inside her, sometimes do very shallow thrusts and tease her at the entrance.

Personally, I’ve found that it helps to mix two things. Sometimes I’ll stay deep inside, and then only move in an out a little, so the depth is maintained. And then I’ll almost totally withdraw, only moving my penis head in and out very slowly. I might then do 5 or 6 very slow shallow thrusts, followed by a very slow and deep thrust. I find I can keep control this way, and my partner loves the anticipation of the next deep thrust.

15. Re-focus yourself physically

This isn’t my personal favorite, but I know some guys say it helps a lot. Any small repetitive action with your body can help shift your attention from your groin. For example, gently curling the toes on one foot repeatedly.

16. Take a deep breath and hold it

As well as the normal relaxed and steady breathing, from time to time you can take one deep breath and hold it for longer. Obviously not until your face turns red, but between 5 and 8 seconds is plenty.

17. Don’t start off hard and fast

At the beginning of any sexual experience the pleasure is immense, especially if you’ve suffered some sex starvation recently. So take it easy to start. Get used to the warmth and pleasure and then build up slowly.

If you can get through the first couple of minutes without too much stimulation, you should last longer than if you tear off her clothes and treat her like the world’s ending in the next 5 minutes.

18. Make sure you don’t need the toilet

You’ll probably ejaculate sooner if you have a full bladder. So have a tactical pee before you get going.

19. Counting an action

This is a variation on the classic distraction technique which is much better than thinking about paint drying. Try counting your thrusts or your breath, or anything else which is easy and rhythmic to focus on. Not my personal favourite, but again, guys do say this technique helps.

20. Stoke the fire before you boil the water

This is one of the most important tips I can give you, stemming from the basic concept that men get aroused much faster than women. So the longer you spend on foreplay (giving her as much pleasure as you can think of) the better, for 2 reasons. Firstly, it takes the pressure off you, especially if you give her an orgasm first. Secondly, it raises her arousal to be closer to yours, so you may not even need to last so long when you do eventually have sex.

21. Talk to your partner about it

If you talk openly about having problems with your sexual stamina, it will take the pressure off you. You can then work together and many of the techniques in this article will be easier to implement.

22. Explore tantric sex theories

This is more of a longer-term mission to undertake. But tantra has a lot to say about the way people have sex, and how there are other ways to go about it. It’s well worth looking into as one of the core teachings is about slowing everything down.

One idea you can try now is to spend time massaging your partner before you get to more sexual foreplay. She’ll love you for it, and again it’ll make her more likely to want sex more often if she’s currently avoiding it due to your quick finishing.

23. Use a delay spray

Using a delay spray is a great way to reduce the stimulation you feel, and can often add many minutes to your lasting time. I used one when I first started trying to deal with the problem and found it was a good confidence booster. Ok, it might look a bit funny spraying yourself up before sex, but it does the trick and you can always disappear into the bathroom for a minute.

Part 2: learning arousal and ejaculation control

All the tips above can definitely help, and maybe just one or two will make a massive difference. However, in my experience to truly learn how to last longer during sex, a little more effort may be required.

Let’s take a look at some classic techniques you can use to understand and better control your arousal levels.

A) The start and stop method

start and stop green and red lights imageThe start and stop method is a good technique to develop an awareness of what happens to your body and mind during sex.

I think it’s especially good for guys who have premature ejaculation due to rushed masturbation when they were younger. But it’s also useful for guys who last a few minutes already and want to extend that time.

Where it might not be so good is for guys who have an extremely sensitive penis. In that case, a desensitizing product might be a better option, though you can still try this technique alongside it to build your stamina.

If you have such severe premature ejaculation you don’t even get to penetration, you can still use the technique when masturbating. And with your partner, you can slow right down and practice the technique with manual and oral sex.

The downside is that like all natural techniques, it can take time to see real progress. Forums are full of guys saying they’ve been at it for weeks or months and still not seeing progress. The answer is always ‘you haven’t been at it long enough’.

Find out how to do the start and stop method >>

B) Kegels or reverse kegels – what are you actually supposed to do?

sign saying point of no return

Learning to recognize your point of no return is essential in developing ejaculation control.

Kegels are probably the most difficult exercise to understand and get right. Probably 99% of online articles tell you to do kegels, but sadly often continue to spread incorrect information.

For example here are some key facts about kegels you don’t normally hear:

  • Doing them can make premature ejaculation worse if you do them incorrectly.
  • Kegels is not about strengthening the Pubococcygeus muscles. It’s about developing strength, tone and control of both the Pubococcygeus muscle and the Bulbocavernosus muscle.
  • Kegels is only a last line of defense to hold back ejaculation. At all other times during sex you need to keep your pelvic floor relaxed.
  • Reverse kegels are also important to balance the training you do, and can help your pelvic floor remain relaxed during sex.

Find out more about kegel exercises >>

C) The squeeze technique

The squeeze technique is a kind of advanced form of the start-stop method. It’s almost impossible to do 100% correctly alone, and requires a dedicated partner to help you do it. In my opinion there are 2 reasons why it’s not that great:

  • When doing partner work at least with the start-stop you can rest while still inside. With the squeeze you have to pull out and have her do some complicated hand movement on you. She’s not going to love that is she?
  • Getting it right is difficult because the finger positioning on the frenulum and squeeze power needed is hard to get right in the exact moment.

Find instructions for the squeeze technique  >>

Final Word

The key point to take away is to keep an open mind and be willing to try different things, but move on if they don’t work.

My view is that the best approach is to hit the problem from every possible angle. The more techniques you put into practice, the better a chance you’ll have of coping with the extreme pleasure of sex.

Finally, for even more techniques to increase your sexual endurance, you might also like to check out the most popular ejaculation control guides.

54 CommentsLeave a comment

  • Great article thank you. I have a question: you mention the start and stop method isn’t helpful for guys that barely ever get to penetration. That’s my issue and it’s insanely embarrassing. Do you have tips for guys like me?

    • Hi George
      To be honest, I think you can still try the technique if you want to, but you’ll have to adapt it. So when having foreplay, manual or oral sex with your partner, you’d use it to try and control your arousal and not ejaculate. For example, if your partner just strokes and caresses you, if you feel yourself getting too aroused, you can stop before ejaculation. Then after 30 seconds, ask them to continue. Then build from there to manual and oral, and eventually penetrative sex.
      Ethan

  • Hi Ethan. Thanks for d article.

    wanna start practicing d start n stop techniques in the morning and night everyday for 3 months.

    Now my question is do I av to allow myself cum after repeating d step several times. Like I said, I wanna b doing it everyday. will releasing every morning n night for 3 months not have anoda effect on me??m

    • Hi Alex
      You’re welcome – I’m glad it was helpful! You can come every time you practice the technique if you like, after repeating the steps a few times. There’s no problem with repeating this.
      Ethan

  • I find this article quite interesting, natural and real. Just want to know what to do for my hubby to like the doggy, he always get muscle cramps, he loves the halter neck the most ( Missionary position with both legs on his neck)

    • Hi there
      Thanks – I’m glad you enjoyed the article! I guess you just have to tell him how much you like it yourself. Hopefully he’ll do it for your sake. There are different ways, so perhaps try different positions using the bed, sofa, chair, whatever it might be to find one he is comfortable in and doesn’t get cramps.
      Ethan

  • Damn! Man,you are a [email protected] The article is so natural and flows.

  • Thanks for the article. Question: how long, with stop-and-start practice, does it take before you see improvement and will not need to rely on delaying sprays, climax control condoms, and other such short-term solutions?

    • Hi zmk
      You’re welcome! That’s a tricky question to answer, if I’m honest. Some guys will see results in a week, some take a few and others maybe a couple of months. But the point is that from the moment you start, you’ll be improving even if it doesn’t seem like it at first. I think that once you set your mind to doing the start and stop technique, it’s only a matter of time before you get an understanding of your arousal levels, and start learning the see the signs that you’re overheating and take action to reduce your excitement. So my opinion is that the sooner you start practicing the technique, the better. It may be a while before you can completely get rid of the delay products, but it’s well worth the time and effort.
      Ethan

      • Thanks for your reply! I’ve tried the stop-and-start for a few weeks now (trying to do it somewhat regularly) and I have seen some improvement by myself but not quite during sex. I’m hoping it’s just a matter of time and then I’ll notice a difference. I did try using Durex Performax Intense condoms (delaying ones) and one of the times using it I noticed a great difference – I could last much longer. I tried it again another day and there was not such a difference and I was disappointed (we tried a different position and perhaps that affected it). I’m gonna keep on working on natural techniques and I’ll check out one of the guides suggested but in the meanwhile I’ll try delaying condoms (or perhaps sprays). But I was wondering if it was possible to overuse them and become dependent on them, inadvertently making my problem worse? Or am I just overworrying?

        Thanks again for all the advice

        • Hi there
          You’re welcome. I think it’s normal to have some progress and steps backwards when you start exploring these methods. It can take some time to tackle the problem on a more lasting basis, despite what some people claim. The key is to keep on practicing the techniques, and trying different things. I think as long as you sometimes try and have sex without the desensitizing aids just to see how much progress you’re making, it’s fine to keep using them.
          Ethan

  • Hey awesome article, I was just wondering when I was younger I kind of trained my self to ejaculate really quick not knowing that it would affect me in sexual intercourse. You think stopping masterbation would help me last longer?

    • Hi Jason
      Glad you like the article! No, stopping masturbation is only likely to make it more difficult for you when you have sex. It’s better to use masturbation to build your stamina by taking your time over it and learning to control your arousal levels better.
      Ethan

  • Hello my friend
    Thank you for your beautiful full article
    I wanted to ask you that, apart from these other ways to deal with premature ejaculation or not?
    I have a lot of pills and gels such as lidocaine ointment I used a condom Ekeh also somewhat delayed, but the fun has lost relationship.

    • Hi Farhad
      Thanks for your compliment – I’m glad you enjoyed the article! I think I’ve covered most of the easier tips which you can use straight away. There are longer-term exercises you can try as I mentioned in the article. And there are some sexual stamina guides which are good, and contain ideas I just don’t have space to cover in this article.

      In terms of products like condoms and delay sprays, there are lots of different options. Sometimes it’s a case of trial and error until you find one which works really well. Lots of them just aren’t particularly good, unfortunately. I think there are companies out there just sticking lidocaine in a gel or spray can, coming up with a cool name and hoping it sells! There aren’t that many that seem to put a lot of effort into research and development.

      My advice generally would be to work on the natural control exercises, use the tips in the article, and perhaps if you need it try a different desensitizing option.

      Ethan

  • REALLY AWESOME ARTICLE SIR
    This is the best article ever on PE really…i wish all the guys read this page. Internet is full of crap articles on PE with copy-paste work but this one is magic. Pretty sure the guy has successfully dealt with the problem personally and that is the beauty of it.

    In my opinion, Of all the techniques natural method of start and stop is best since it will work for almost everyone. kegels must supplement it then breathe slowly and stay relaxed. It will take years to master and it will be really painful too!!! Trust me meditation is 10 times easier. But keep the end result in mind and stay focused.

    • Hi there

      Thanks for your comment and for your very kind words! I’m really happy to hear you liked the article so much. Yes, I have had premature ejaculation personally and dealt with it. And yes, you’re right in that it can take time to master, but is well worth the wait.
      Thanks again for making me smile on a Monday morning!
      Ethan

  • this is an awesome article – thanks for sharing all these tips. I tried some before, but there are some new ones here for me to try. much appreciated!!

    • Hi there
      Thanks for your comment and compliment. I’m glad you found some new ideas here – I hope they help!
      Regards
      Ethan

  • Hello Ethan, reading through the article, I can’t help but to just bookmark and see how much of a practice I can put the techniques in it. My experience about PE is just so embarrassing that it mostly keeps me awake most night, although I used to feel this is the consequence of repeated/non controlled masturbation or porn movies until I read a previous comment on the article. Everything I have read so far surely gave a hope but I am hoping for a better and wilder sexual experiences with your recommendations, thanks.

    • Hi Segun
      Thanks for your comment and I’m really glad you found the article helpful. I hope you have success with these techniques and that your sex life improves.
      Ethan

  • Hello Ethan!!

    I just recently got into a relationship and the girl I’m now with wants to have sex for the first time but I’ve been off putting it. I’ve had many problems in the past with premature ejaculation and I’ve always lacked sexual confidence because of it, despite being an apparently really smooth guy.

    I want to please her however I can and I’ve been considering getting a desensitizing spray as you’ve mentioned in the article because I’ve heard great things. But before I resort to using anything like that, I’m curious as to what your advice would be for lasting longer without the use of medication, aids, or supplements of any sort.

    I just want to make her happy because I know she’s got a very large sexual stamina and this roadblock is really starting to ruin my relationship with her on an intimate level. I’d appreciate any advice you can offer, as the internet is full of way too many different ideas and half of them never seem to work anyways.

    Many thanks,
    A troubled friend

    • Hi Sully
      Thanks for your comment, and I understand your distress about this situation. The problem is that not every technique or product works for every guy. There’s a certain degree of experimentation that’s often required, unless you get lucky and find something that works straight away. I try to recommend the best of each style of treatment, but even then, it depends on whether that style will work for you, no matter how good the option is compared to others, if that makes sense?

      My opinion is that the best option is to do the natural training path. However, that takes time. So if you need something for tomorrow night for example, it’s not going to help you by then.

      So if time is of the urgency, this is what I’d do:

      1. Try a delay spray. Get one of the better ones like promescent for example. If you can’t get that or it’s too expensive, then try on of the others I talk about in my review of delay sprays. Then at least you have something you can use straight away.

      2. Read the article again, and remember to try as many of the tips as possible. Lots of these can work wonders – especially wearing a condom and masturbating before you meet her.

      3. Get onto the natural training path as soon as possible. The delay spray may or may not work, and even if it does it’s never going to cure you, and to be honest is a bit of a pain to have to use every time you have sex. It’s not exactly a romantic thing to be using, especially with a new partner. My opinion is that with re-training, you can cure the problem outright, even though it takes time. So the sooner you start the better. And in some cases, just the information you learn when reading a good premature ejaculation book can have a positive effect, even before you start practicing the techniques. And again, if you don’t have the money to buy one, then at least have a read around this website for some of my other tips here and there.

      4. Make sure you do some reading on ways to pleasure her manually, orally and with great foreplay. That way you can bring her arousal up to meet yours, and still pleasure her even if you end up finishing too quickly. Bear in mind that a sexual encounter doesn’t end when you orgasm. You should get right back into the action and do other things to pleasure her. Have a read of my article about giving a woman oral sex as a starter. One guy wrote an amazing comment with his technique which many readers have since come back and said worked wonders – myself included!

      So there you go. I hope that helps a bit!
      Regards
      Ethan

  • Hello Ethan
    Thank you so much for this article, it was indeed helpful, but please I want to ask for a favour. Please can you help me with list of P.E pills that can work well, someone told me of Viagra but I dont know if it works and the side effect.
    Thanks
    Kind Regards,
    Drew.

  • Ethan green, that was such a comprehensive and complete article. it had everything.
    Just like u, i use tramadol for my backache. And i have observed huge extension in time delay, its really huge, and makes it 10-15 times more. maybe i last longer already.

    i have been taking it for my backache, and it really is addictive, and causes insomnia, the worst thing. i quit it, easily when i knew about these side effects and i’m confident its not gonna make me addict. i haven’t seen any other side effect either. whenever, i’m too tired, or drive a lot, and feel backache, i use it. sometimes, after 3 weeks. after 2 weeks, or a month etc.
    now, i want to know, if i use this before having sex, what do u really mean by addiction, i mean, if i keep using it with the frequency, like after 3 weeks, or 1 week, is it addiction ???? although, i can live happily without using it ? please, reply.

    • Hi zooshoo

      Thanks for your comment, and that’s a good question. To be honest, I think the best thing I can do is to give you a link to a website which has a more complete definition of addiction than I can give you personaly. Have a look at this article.
      Regards
      Ethan

  • This article is so rich and educative.I have various articles and they are like ‘bits’ but yours is wholesome.Thumbs up.Positions,kegel,breathing,etc are all superb.Its working for me and helping me to last longer.I just need to keep on practising.I advice guys to KEEP ON PRACTISING THE TECHNIQUES AND KEEP ON AT IT.Thanks

    • Hi Wale
      Thank you very much for the compliment about the article. I’m very pleased you found it helpful. Keep up the practice!
      Regards
      Ethan

  • Hi everyone
    The only solution I know that work well for PE is this.
    Firstly you need to know that the highly sensitivity part of the penis is the cap i.e the head of the penis. So when thrusting in and out, make sure you prevent your cap coming out fully i.e thrust in fully and come out in a half way. This technique really really works well it’s 90% effective. But don’t forgot this,,,,don’t be eager or in haste to go down with her, try more foreplay to bring your partner near to climax. I hope these little idea of mine will help many guys out there….
    @ethangreen you’re really doing good job here, pls….keep it up, kudos to you.

    • Hi there
      Thanks for the comment, and the compliment. I think your idea is a good one, though sometimes even that movement is too much for many guys. I do find that sometimes by keeping it in deeply and only moving it a little it helps to keep going rather than doing long thrusts, and as you say coming too far out.
      Regards
      Ethan

  • I just want to mention I’m really impressed with this article! Nearly every site I see is nothing but a sales ploy. Your article (and others I’ve read) are very detailed and clearly show you are interested in actually helping people. Thanks

  • Hello
    I’m also grateful for this honest and helpful page. I’m going to try out a few of the techniques and see what happens. I also like your idea that you should try different things. Like you say most people only tell you to do whatever they will benefit from, but your idea that different things work for different people makes total sense.
    Thanks

  • hi there!
    i took part in this discussion for having a prob of pe.
    i got married few days back n now i can’t ejaculate.
    bit of an history is that before marriage i noticed blood in my semen.
    visited doctor, ultra sound..ok urine test…ok
    my question is that if every thing is fine, then why cant i ejaculate and my erection’s gone weak, why is there slight pain in the region beside penis leg n sack?
    thanks.

    • To ‘in a shell’

      Congratulations on getting married first of all!
      I’m sorry to hear you’re having new problems. Unfortunately I can’t give you any kind of medical diagnosis based on what you’ve said. I am not a doctor, so would only be guessing. If you’re still having problems with pain (sorry it took a while to respond to your message) then I would once again advise speaking to your doctor.
      As for not being able to ejaculate, there are many possible explanations. Some could be health related – physical or psychological. Some could be due to any training you have been doing to try to deal with PE.
      Sorry I can’t help more. This website is primarily about premature ejaculation, and although I do discuss some other sex-related topics, when it comes to some medical issues – such as someone saying they have pains or blood where they shouldn’t, the most responsible thing I can do is refer people to their doctor.
      All the best
      Ethan

  • Thank you for putting this all together. It’s good to hear from someone who understands what PE is like and has a realistic attitude to dealing with it.
    I read your review of the fleshlight as well, and wanted to ask you if you can use that to test a delay spray if you don’t have a partner at the moment or if you’ll only really know how it works when you have sex? Thanks.

    • Hi Stephan

      I’m glad you found it useful, and yes, unfortunately I do understand what it’s like!

      To answer your question, I think you can test out desensitizing sprays or creams with a male sex toy. But you’ll probably be able to tell whether it is numbing you or not without using one.

      If you want to know exactly how well it numbs you though, and where the best parts to rub it in are then it could be a good way of experimenting.

  • This is a really useful article and I’m very grateful that you’ve put it online for free. As you so rightly say, most guides of this kind of length just turn out to be sales pitches. So it’s great that you’ve written such detailed descriptions of the techniques. And I really appreciate your honesty in talking about the various different products. Very refreshing!

    I do have a question. You talk a lot about premature ejaculation, which as I understand it is more about guys who come within a minute or two. But what if you can last 5-7 minutes, but it’s still not as long as you would like. What would you say is the best way to increase that lasting time?

    Cheers

    • Hi John

      Thank you for your comment, and your compliments. I’m really glad that the article is getting read, and proving to be helpful. As I said, I struggled to find good information when I first got started dealing with premature ejaculation, and found it very frustrating. So it’s a pleasure to help others out.

      So to answer your questions, firstly there may be many guys reading this and thinking ‘if only I could last 5-7 minutes – that guy doesn’t have a problem at all!’. But the reality is that although PE can be defined in pure time (either under 1 or 2 minutes of penetrative sex, depending on which definition you look at), it can also be defined in terms of simply not lasting as long as you or your partner need/want you to.

      So what can you do? Well really I think the same advice applies whether you last 1, 5 or 10 minutes. Though I believe it may be easier to improve your time if you’re already able to last a few minutes.

      It may be that some of the tips in section 6 help you. It could be that you’ve be hooked on a position which is draining your stamina quicker for example. So you could try putting those tips together.

      The techniques like the start and stop method can definitely be tried to increase how long you last for during sex – either alone or with a willing partner. And as far as I’m aware, delay sprays work aren’t just for guys with severe premature ejaculation, but can work well for guys who just want to increase their time.

      So the answer is that all the options are still open to you and it’s up to you to experiment.

      All the best and thanks again for the comment.

      Ethan

  • It’s a nice article…but I’ve been masturbating for over 15 years…on a non stop scale…Now I think PE is my 2nd name. I’ve got in to so many problems with my ex girlfriend over this issue…once I get in contact with the vagina..then I’m done. It’s so stressful and I am scared in getting into relationships. I blame myself and regret more than anything else for getting myself trapped through excessive masturbation. I’ve tried to stop it several times but it didn’t cure it coz I think my mind and penis are programed to simply splash out.. MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE..I would like to have a normal life and relationship. Maybe this spray solution could help my problem as my penis is extra sensitive to any touching except that I couldn’t try it as it’s not available where I am from. My advice to guys is DON’T EVER MASTURBATE…THERE IS NOTHING GOOD IN IT.

    • Hi INH

      Thanks for taking the time to comment and share your very personal experience with premature ejaculation. I’m sorry to hear that it’s been such a difficult problem for you and is affecting your relationships. I think your comment highlights some very important things that many guys will be able to relate to, even though I think your end advice is a bit extreme and not something I personally agree with.

      You are, however, right in that masturbation can in some circumstances lead to premature ejaculation. Though it obviously doesn’t for all guys, and not even for all guys who have problems with ejaculation control.

      It’s usually when guys don’t realise that doing it as quickly as possible is basically training themselves to have the same happen when they have sex. Combine that with the fear of being ‘caught in the act’ etc and it’s not surprising that a problem develops. Many people, myself included, believe that this can sometimes be reversed and you can re-train yourself to last longer in bed with techniques like the start and stop method – during masturbation and/or during sex.

      In an ideal world guys would not need to reverse it because they would have always masturbated in a way that they take their time, and so get used to experiencing prolonged levels of stimulation. But who teaches guys that when they’re younger? Nobody of course…

      But at the end of the day masturbation is a normal and healthy behavior. If you never do it, then when it comes to sex many guys are quite likely to have even worse problems with their stamina. So my advice is to do it, but take your time and learn how your body and mind react to sexual stimulation and learn to control your reaction to that stimulation.

      As for a desensitizing spray like Promescent, yes it may well help. Have you checked recently if you can get hold of it? I believe it’s now available in more countries outside of the United States. If not, you may be able to find a different one in your country. It’s unlikely to be as good, but could still be worth trying.

      You may also find it helpful to tackle the stress and anxiety that you seem to be describing. This is something which can be a vicious circle and in itself cause you problems. Have a look at the page about sexual performance anxiety I mentioned in the article.

      All the best
      Ethan

  • Well,
    Doc had a look at my testes, recommended some supplements/vitamins and said go get married if u face any problem, then come back.
    I asked him about kegel exercises but he had no idea what I was talking about.
    Regards

    • I’m glad to hear there was nothing serious going on then.

      I’m surprised he didn’t know about kegels. Even though not everyone does, I would have thought a doctor would have at least heard of them. Perhaps it’s not such common knowledge in your part of the world.

      All the best

  • Thanks Ethan,
    I have finally made my mind to see a doctor. In a day or two I’ll visit him with high hopes, n update you as well.
    Regards

    • No problem. I hope it’s nothing after all. Don’t feel you have to share the outcome, but if you do maybe someone else will find it useful:-)

  • Hello there!
    I read through your article, really encouraging.
    Its a long story to discuss, but I’ll cut it short.
    I experienced erections at a very early age n got myself into the habit of masturbation (every day, sometimes more than once a day) for like 5 years. Then I got into the trap of PE, having breathing problem, blood in stool, consistent yellowish colour of semen. I considerably reduced my masturbation, only did it to see if the things have improved, I don’t have blood in stool issue any more neither shortness of breath, however I ejaculate quick with mostly yellow semen.
    Never discussed it with anyone, being in a part of world where masturbation is not considered acceptable.
    I can have an erection, my pal is often erect in the morning. When masturbating I ejaculate within 2min. Am 27 n I smoke.
    Fact is that in a 2 month time I’m getting married, should I rely on exercises?

    • Hi there

      First of all thanks for taking the time to leave a comment – it’s always much appreciated. And I’m glad you found the article encouraging.

      Yellow semen can be caused by a range of factors, and is normally temporary. But if you have other symptoms (as you did it seems), or it continues for several weeks, then it’s best to get it checked out by a doctor. It might be nothing to worry about, but it could be a sign of something underlying it which can be treated.

      Without wanting to worry you, there are some medical conditions which can cause premature ejaculation. If you do have one and deal with it, it might also help you last longer.

      If not, then the question is should you just rely on exercises. Well, as I said in the article, whatever you find works for you is what I would do.

      You can certainly try an exercise like the start-stop method and see how it goes. 2 months should be more than enough time to see if it helps increase how long you can masturbate for.

      But whether to rely on it alone? That’s up to you to decide. You could always try out a desensitizing product too. There’s not harm, and nothing wrong, with trying different ways.

      Good luck with it, and all the best for your wedding!

      Ethan

    • It was great articles, I want share my story and please help me and save my marriage, (sorry for my English)
      I am 41 and have 3to 4 years permanent ejaculation,
      Cum less then 10 second, so embarrassing and almost divorce , I am married about 20 years,and 3 kids,
      For trying fix, I order priligy 60 mg online overseas, I received it 25 days later I popped it 9.30 and start to sex with my wife 2 hours later, Its effects just 1 million. And my wife not orgasm again, ( bad side effect with priligy 60mg ) I go doctor, he proscribed cialis 5m, I popped it 2×5 10 mg ,this time never worked, back to another doctor he told me use 5m daily cialis and spray, I used both still no result, now I’m so tired and disappointed, what medication should I use? I want try tramadol I heard it works well, please advise me with your experience, Thanks

      • Hi Justin,

        Thanks for your comment, and I’m glad you found the article helpful. You can find out what I think in this article I wrote about taking tramadol to help with premature ejaculation. It’s not my ideal solution, but you might find it an interesting read.
        My advice, as with everyone, is to think about the natural techniques approach. If nothing else has worked, then that’s the only thing you have left! And even if medication does work, I still that that’s a better option. If you start at out homepage and follow the suggestions, you’ll get a clear idea of all your different options.
        All the best
        Ethan

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