How To Turn A Girl On – 8 Simple Methods

image of a couple flirting sexuallyAs a woman, I can tell you that I’m just as crazy about sex as you are. The difference, however, is that for me sex is much more of a whole body and mind experience.

That means that to get me aroused and in the mood for sex, you’re going to need more than just great moves in bed. So in this article, I’m going to teach you a few simple ways you can start to turn a woman on long before you jump into bed.

1. Flattery is important

It’s a safe assumption that you find her attractive, so say so! There’s no point keeping those compliments to yourself. Be genuine, of course, and honest, but don’t be afraid of flattering her.

Women need to feel attractive to be turned on, and your compliments will help with that. Tell her how pretty her eyes are, how much you love her outfit, how soft her skin is, anything you like (as long as it’s true).

Make her feel attractive and that self-confidence boost will help turn her on. Think of all this as good foreplay. And to be honest, every moment leading up to actually having sex is a kind of foreplay for women.

2. Just be yourself

It can be easy to try and be the kind of man you think she wants. But in the long run that’s not going to work. Be yourself, be honest, and be genuine. If she’s attracted to you, simply being yourself will be enchanting enough.

In fact, be an even better version of yourself. Stand up tall, be confident in who you are. And you’ll find your confidence grows even more as she responds well to you. This attractive woman finds you attractive, doesn’t that make you more self-confident?

Confidence sometimes breeds confidence, so that will (hopefully) end up with you each turning the other on – a perfect win-win situation!

3. Watch your body language

man turning a woman on at the dinner table by flirting

Using body language you can turn a woman on without even opening your mouth. This begins with the above mentioned confidence – standing tall helps you look confident.

But this also works in other ways. Looking into her eyes when she’s talking, leaning towards her when you’re talking. Even an occasional touch (when it seems natural) can help. Gently touching her arm to bring her attention to something, for example.

In addition, try glancing at her lips occasionally. This sends the unconscious signal that you want to kiss her, and if she feels the same way, it’ll be a definite turn on.

4. Real language helps too

Body language will only get you so far. It’s a bit of a cliché, but as a general rule most women do love to talk. That means that perfecting the art of conversation can be a real deal clincher.

Find out what interests her and make those things your interests too. If she likes music, try reading up on a few of her favorite bands and listening to some albums so that you have a topic to discuss.

Talking about sex

When it comes to talking about sex, approach it casually if the subject comes up. But don’t talk about it all the time; you don’t want to be off-putting.

Flirty text messages can help get her in the right state of mind as well. Try something like “I can’t stop thinking about you.” Nothing too explicit, but enough to plant the idea that she’s on your mind.

As you get to know her, you might find that there’s more innuendo in your conversation, indicating that sex is on her mind. Again though, don’t push things too far and don’t be too explicit.

Since sex is such a mental thing for women, the promise of it can be just as exciting as the reality of it. This conversation stage, getting to know each other, can be just as much of a turn on as touching, so don’t rush things. Decent conversation is a lot like foreplay for a lot of women, so don’t ignore it.

5. Touch her

image of a couple touching sensuallyI’ve mentioned casual touching in conversation, but this deserves a point of its own. Brushing her arm, touching her to make a point, and random contact can be very exciting.

You’re planting the idea that you want to feel her body, and this is a big turn on. Everything in moderation though – don’t constantly touch her, let her anticipate your hands.

Once casual touching has been introduced and you’re both comfortable, you might want to think about more deliberate actions. Tucking her hair behind her ear, brushing some lint off her shirt, these kind of movements take things a step further.

Steer clear of deliberately touching the erogenous zones (breasts, neck, etc.) until sex is definitely on the cards though. These areas are risky and can make a woman feel uncomfortable, unless you’re definitely going to take things to the next stage.

6. Be observant of her signals

Believe it or not, women do send out signals. Though whether or not you receive them depends on how much attention you’re paying. If she touches you, for example, that’s a fairly clear signal that she’d be comfortable with you touching her.

Don’t rush things, since that really isn’t very attractive. Be patient and don’t feel that you always have to lead the way. Do pick up on her signals though. And if in doubt? Don’t be afraid to ask. “Can I kiss you now?” is actually a very sexy question.

If you observe her signals and are patient then she’ll continue getting more and more turned on until she’s ready to kick things up a notch. Ignore those signals and she’s likely to get frustrated or even uncomfortable.

7. Get the atmosphere right

romantic candles

Atmosphere is key. The exact kind of atmosphere will depend on the woman, so pay attention to her signals and her conversation.

For some girls a sweaty, energetic dance club is an attractive setting; for others, candles and flowers are what works.

What’s essential though is that you don’t distract her. Once her mind starts to wander, her arousal levels will start dropping too and you can find yourself back at square one.

This means that you shouldn’t change the thread of conversation if she’s obviously getting into a topic. And don’t take time out to change your sheets if you’re already headed to bed.

If there’s a chance that you’re heading to the bedroom make sure that everything is all set up, clean and tidy well in advance so she feels comfortable.

8. Be aware of what doesn’t turn her on

You can work hard getting to the point where a woman is aroused and ready for sex, but you can ruin all that good work if you do something wrong. So what shouldn’t you do?

  • Don’t lie: she will sense whether you’re genuine or not, really.
  • Don’t pressure her: no means no (but she might change her mind the next time you go out, so be patient).
  • Don’t be rude or explicit: even if you think you’re joking, she might just be offended.
  • Don’t rush things: the build up and anticipation of the next stage or touch is exciting.
  • Don’t neglect personal grooming: no matter how excited she is, if you smell bad or are dirty she’ll instantly be turned off again.

The reward for turning her on successfully

The more effort you put into pressing the right physical and mental buttons, the greater the rewards. Obviously you’re hoping for fantastic sex, and so will she be.

It’s no secret that women have a harder time of reaching orgasm in general. Hopefully all this extra groundwork will help you build her arousal and excitement, and stand you in good stead to give her an orgasm. Then both you and she will be rewarded for your thoughtfulness and effort.

You might also like

Sometimes we need to go a little further to find out what really turns our partner on, and even ourselves. So I highly recommend checking out my article about women’s top sexual fantasies. You might just find something there that blows all the above tips out of the water!

And for a little kinky fun, check out some fun sex games for couples – another great way to build the excitement and explore new avenues of pleasure together.


+ Add Comment
  1. Anonymous

    Is it necessary stimulate clitoris before start penetrate?

    1. Karen Martinez

      Well, not always – especially if she is very turned on and wants to get straight to sex. But it’s often good to bring some stimulation into foreplay, either with manual or oral.

  2. Hi
    My lady do need more after I have finished in bed – how can I make it more enjoyable to her?

    1. Karen Martinez

      Hi Moseh
      Oral sex! But if you don’t like going down after intercourse, use your fingers and hands.

  3. Anonymous

    Literally, the smallest touch or kiss from my boyfriend, opens the flood gates for me. I don’t say anything, because I very much enjoy that affection from him, and we’re usually not in an area to do more. As much as our bodies want to. I think waiting until the best moment will really help the whole experience. Although I have no prior knowledge, so who knows.

    1. Karen Martinez

      It sounds like you’re really into your boyfriend then! I’m sure when you feel the time is right, it will be a great experience for you.

  4. Tbh I don’t mind if my boyfriend touches more sensitive areas, such as the chest, I think it’s a sweet and playful way of showing he’s into me. I know I look great with clothes on, I’m afraid my natural deformities might turn him off, we’ve briefly talked about, because I have scars for surgeries, and I was afraid he’d find them unattractive. We’ve fixed that fear, but then there’s there fact my breasts are… Not equal, and quite a bit so. So my question is, do things like aysemtrical breast turn guys off, or is it a minor thing to them? I would think, considering how close and connected we are, he wouldn’t care.

    1. Karen Martinez

      Hi Claire
      I don’t think he’ll mind, especially if you’re very close. Everyone knows that most people have something about their body that isn’t quite the way they would like, and he probably does too. The main thing is not to make him feel that you’re super sensitive about it. If you’re cool about it, then he will be too hopefully.

  5. I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time and it was amazing. After then i felt like I just have to do it again!

    1. Karen Martinez

      Hi Stacey
      There’s nothing wrong with having lots of sex if you’re both into it!

  6. Casmir Oenga

    The teaching is good and these will help the partnership to be more strong

  7. Nice tips – very helpful!! If only women got turned on as easily as I do. Life would be amazing…

    1. Ethan Green

      Hi Trevor
      Ah, I think it’s interesting that men and women work differently in this respect. It keeps things fun!

  8. A few of the first ones are somewhat obvious, but 6 and 7 are key. I find that if I take my time and with thorough foreplay, she will be begging for it. Good article.

  9. Thanks for the interesting article and tips. I will try them on my gf and hope they help us have better sex life.

  10. My girlfriend is a virgin, she want me to dis-virgin her but when ever I try she cries and I feel pity on her and stop she is threatening to hv sex with another guy if can’t do it so what should I do?

    1. Ethan Green

      Hi Linus
      Do you know why she cries? Is it from physical pain, or does she cry for an emotional reason before you even have sex?

  11. Nice tips. I like to romance my lady on a weekend evening. I know from many years together that if I just ask for sex, it ain’t happening. But if I take her for dinner, wine and dine her and lavish attention on her, things naturally go that way. My advice for the youngsters out there is to see the whole picture. If you want her body, you’ve gotta win her mind first…

    1. Ethan Green

      Hi Isaac
      Thanks for sharing your thoughts – I couldn’t agree more! Seduction is an art form, and women generally find emotional and mental connection an important part of flirtation and romance.

  12. I can’t stay long in bed with my girl friend not even for 5 minutes. Is they any way you could help?

    1. Ethan Green

      Hi Rex
      The best advice I can offer in a brief comment is to take a good look around this website. There are lots of articles dealing with this issue, as it’s what I originally started the site to help with specifically. If you’re not sure where to start, take a look at the homepage, or the main article about premature ejaculation in the menu.

    2. Long lasting cant be done over night……its like any other craft….where u need practice,pracice and practice plus focus till u become perfect….also live healthy

  13. Wish I could learn in focus on how to have a oragasm besides being on top or by getting HEAD. Don’t kno what the problem is.

    1. Ethan Green

      Hi there
      Some people just don’t orgasm in certain positions. There’s nothing wrong with that – it’s just the way we are. However, if you want to try to orgasm in other positions, then just experiment with how you do it. Or do the position that most gets you there, then change to a different position when you’re close and see if you can get there in that alternative position.

  14. King Robison

    Hi,my Girl Friend Refused To Hav Sex With Me Becous Of My Manwood Is Too Big For Her Nd She Is A Virgine,what Can I Do

    1. Ethan Green

      Hi there
      That’s a tricky problem. Either she’s genuinely worried about your size, or perhaps just not ready to lose her virginity yet. I’d ask her honestly if she feels ready, but is really worried about your size. If it really is your size, you might just have to reassure her that you will go very slowly and can control yourself so that you don’t fully enter her until she is able to cope with it, and enjoy it.
      The key, I think, is open and gentle communication.

  15. Anonymous

    Hello I need help on how to turn her on when is not in the mood and wants me to sex and get up because she had a stressful day. She also doesn’t love to be licked but I often like to give her head

    1. Ethan Green

      Have you tried the techniques I talk about in the article? I’d say that’s a good starting point for you. Perhaps also ask her if she likes the way you give her oral sex. It may be that you’re not doing it in a way that she likes! Equally, some women just don’t like it so you’ll have to accept it if that’s the case.

  16. Bisswass

    Hi….Its me Bisswass….M newly married and not well known about process I can please my wife….I get satisfaction before my Wife…Which makes me frustrated….am feeling myself as a poor guy coz of this reason…Is there any way so that I could please her as well as make her well sexually satisfied and she too get orgasm when I ejaculate….Plz reply meh…..

    1. Ethan Green

      Hi Bisswass
      Congratulations on your marriage! Well, there are two things you can do I guess. One is to work on your sexual stamina, for which you can find lots of help around this website. Secondly, educate yourself about pleasing your partner sexually. I definitely recommend focusing on improving your oral sex technique. That article is full of great ideas you’ll be able to use to make her very happy.

  17. Hi am experiencing hardship in dating i have more than one gal so am confused who 2 give much concentration but 4 real they all luv me but they all know that i have a lot of them

    1. Ethan Green

      Hi Aladi
      Having open relationships can be tricky! If they are all aware of the situation, then I guess it’s up to you to decide who you like the most. And then whether you want to stay just with her or continue your open arrangement. But if you find it all too confusing, maybe open relationships aren’t for you.

  18. I love giving oral sex to my beautiful wife, she does not like it, when I am down between her BEAUTIFUL LEGS, i enjoy the BEAUTIFUL smell of a BEAUTIFUL woman, she used to push my face between those BEAUTIFUL woman legs, she does not want me down there, i do not know what I am doing wrong or different, I MISS GOING DOWN ON MY BEAUTIFUL WIFE, i do not care that she does not give me oral, i loved it when I gave her orgsum after orgsum by oral sex, when she pushed my head away, my face would be covered With her BEAUTIFUL woman juices, i miss that !!!!

    1. Ethan Green

      Hi Keith
      Thanks for your comment. I think probably you need to ask her openly why it is that she no longer likes it. Maybe not ask her in the moment she’s telling you not to do it, but when you’re both relaxed and cuddling in bed and just talking normally. Tell her you really enjoy it and miss it and see if she can tell you what it is that stopped her from enjoying it.

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