Why Kegels Alone Will Never Beat Premature Ejaculation

How many kegels have you done today? What about this week, or this month? Is it the only exercise you’re doing to tackle premature ejaculation, or are you combining it with other techniques?

If you’re anything like me when I first started, the answers would be something like this:

  • Today – around a hundred.
  • This week – several hundred.
  • This month – where’s my calculator?

As much as I wish that kegels were enough to tackle premature ejaculation, I’ve come to believe that they probably aren’t for most guys. And not only that, they are far trickier to get right than seems fair.

Surely you should just be able to do a few hundred a day and you’ll last longer in bed? Not true, sadly. And this is an important point to understand, especially if you put your heart and soul into everything you do.

A manly comparison: kegels & crunches

Putting maximum effort into just doing kegel exercises is a little like doing nothing but hundreds of crunches a day. You’ll get very good at doing crunches and might develop good abdominal muscles – but you probably won’t get rid of your unwanted belly.

It’s well known in the fitness world that to shed the belly fat and get a prize 6 pack, you need to hit your abdomen from different angles: cardio work, a good diet and different types of abdominal exercises etc.

The same applies to beating premature ejaculation (and funnily enough, exercise and a good diet will also help your stamina in bed). Doing lots of kegels might help, but it’s not enough.

Hold on a second…everyone raves about kegels don’t they?

Ok, time for a rewind. Surely if every article on men’s health websites says you should do kegels, then they must be important, right?

Well, yes and no.

I don’t doubt that there’s some good advice out there about premature ejaculation, but sadly there’s also a lot of incomplete and incorrect information.

What most articles fail to tell you is that doing kegels correctly is more complicated than “hold your pee, now you’ve got it, now do 3 sets of 10 of those squeezes 5 times a day and you’re cured.”

So how do they help?

There are 2 main ways in which kegels can be helpful in my opinion:

  • If you develop good strength, tone and control you can stop yourself ejaculating just before the point of no return.
  • If you keep the pelvic floor relaxed during sex, then it can help you last longer.

There are other reasons to do kegels of course, but these 2 are the core reasons to do them to help with sexual endurance. Note that the first way is used at a specific point in time, and the second one is more about helping generally during sex. And this is the key point: kegels can help, but there are gaps to be filled.

Kegels can make things worse

As some unfortunate guys find out, doing kegels can actually make things worse. Here’s why:

  • Some guys hold a strong kegel squeeze as much as possible during sex. This is wrong and will make you ejaculate sooner (you actually need to keep the area relaxed).
  • All those kegels can lead to you doing them subconsciously during sex anyway. Same problem.
  • Doing too many kegels, or not mixing them with reverse kegels, can lead to problems with the pelvic floor, in-balance and involuntary contractions. In short it can make your control worse.
  • Focusing on kegels alone means you’re not doing the many other things which can help.

So what should you do?

Now I’ve finished shattering the illusion that kegels are the miracle cure, what’s the alternative? For starters, whatever you do, just don’t rush in and start doing as many as you possibly can without any thought.

It’s important to be sensible with them, take a day or two off a week, do normal and reverse kegels. Stop if you feel sore or strange things start happening, like involuntary contractions. Think mild exercise rather than Olympic athlete in training. And don’t rely on them alone to cure you.

Filling the gaps & the bigger picture

Dealing with premature ejaculation – for most guys – requires a deeper understanding of the problem. There’s much more to learn and do than simply developing your pelvic floor muscles. Here are some other points to consider:

  • How your mental state and expectations play a role in your lasting time.
  • Understanding your different arousal levels.
  • Learning to control your arousal levels.
  • The different ways of getting an erection.
  • An understanding of the two stages of ejaculation and the point of no return.
  • How different positions, speeds, strokes and movements can help.
  • How equalizing you and your partner’s arousal levels can help.
  • How using accessories can help.

These are just a few examples of the other areas that I’ve come to realize are important for overcoming premature ejaculation. As you can see, there’s a lot more to gaining arousal and ejaculation control than just doing kegels.

If you’re interested in finding out more about these different areas, you might like to check out the different premature ejaculation guides available.

 

20 CommentsLeave a comment

  • Hi Ethan Green,
    I am doing kegel from last one month but i cannot find the PC muscles. I have problem ED that’s why am finish within 10 seconds. Sometimes, I squeeze my anus during kegel exercise but sometimes i cannot squeeze. I am so upset because i cannot find PC muscles. Please help me, what i can do? I have seen so many videos but i really no understand. Please help me otherwise my life finish.

    • Hi Sunny
      First of all, I think it’s important to try and stay calm and not panic about this. It can take time to really understand the kegels. And some guys do just find it too difficult. That doesn’t mean your life is over – there are other things you can do!
      Are you able to stop yourself peeing mid-flow? That’s the best way to understand where the muscle is you need to target. Let me know!
      Ethan

  • Hi i m suffering from premature ejaculation. . When i push the side skin of penis up and down .. i feel to cum almost in 10 sec..thats why i usually do edging.
    Can you help me to treat this premature ejaculation. . ? Your guidance will help me.. i found your article the best wherever i searched.. so you can guide me better 🙂

    • Hi Omer
      I’m glad you found the article useful. I can’t guide you any more than with the article I’ve written, sorry! I think that you’re doing the right thing by practicing edging. It’s a good technique, so stick with it and hopefully it will help. If you’re having sex currently, then I’d also suggest trying out a desensitizing spray as well, just to give you some extra help. And perhaps also wear a condom, which can help reduce the sensitivity a lot.
      Ethan

  • Ethan,

    Just the other day after stumbling upon this website I was enlightened on reverse kegels. Thanks for sharing this info.

    My question is that I tried your technique for discovering them and had success, or at least I think I did. I tried an edging session and was trying them out however when I tried to relax the pelvic floor and do them I felt an involuntary kegel reflex take over. Is that supposed to happen? I felt that happen several times like if I relaxed and started to feel relaxed the kegel reflexed and made me want to ejaculate. After trying out a small routine and doing the edging session I felt a throbbing pain in the muscles behind my testicles for the whole day. It was kind of an electric shock feeling that felt good and bad in a weird way. Is that normal too??

    Today I had an edging session and I noticed the involuntary kegel didnt trigger as much. I was able to stay relaxed and complete an edging session without ejaculation. I am noticing that the reverse kegel really is not about pushing or doing anything its just a feeling of relaxing the whole area. I also noticed that massaging the areas where the muscle was sore would help in the relaxing of the area. Does this seem like I have found the right muscle to relax? Is this something that will not take very long to strengthen and apply this technique during sex. Will it eventually become a thing that you really dont have to hold or flex but just a way of relaxing?

    • Hi JL
      Thanks for your comment. I think you’re mostly heading in the right direction. The muscle soreness doesn’t sound good, and I imagine that’s from over-doing the normal kegels or pushing too much when practicing the reverse kegels. Try not to allow that to happen though if you can.
      Yes, I think that eventually the goal is to just be able to kind of ‘command’ mentally the pelvic area to stay relaxed during sex. That’s easier done in certain positions, such as on your back for example. As for the involuntary kegel, it could be that you have just pushed too close to the point of no return. Try stopping the edging a little sooner next time. By now you can probably tell if you’re getting the right muscles working – do the edging, and when you’re feeling in the more aroused stages, try to do the relaxation of reverse kegels and see if it helps you drop the arousal. Sometimes I don’t even bother with the kegels until I’m really aroused, then go for it and see if I can notice a bigger change. That’s a good way to tell if it’s working or not rather than focusing on the kegels from that start.
      Regards
      Ethan

  • hey, i knew kegels for long, but recently been without partner for some too long time, and i did not want to ruin my masturbation experience with PE, so what i basically did was masturbate thru every single clip in the multiple tabs in my browser, and i was about now rushing to cum (having been awake all night), suddenly i noticed my brother coming in, and that day he stayed there (i dont like doing in the bathroom, only do in bedroom), so whole day passed and i did not get a chance to wank, but what happened is i got these funny noises all day in my stomach, though they came from a superficial source, like someone very slowly pouring soda on a glass crowdedly filled with ice cubes, is there anything to worry about that

  • I think you are correct, and your posts have a lot of quality. have been doing kegels for almost 2 years and i Felt what you described. over-training led to soreness and loss of control. only kegels don’t help with premature ejaculation. E.G. after the over-training phase I did consistent kegel training during 2 months and when i masturbate to test the kegels training, I was always almost coming which is very uncomfortable (although i had the power to stop ejaculation). and I also experience doing kegels during masturbation and i found that the cumm feeling comes faster.

    • Hi there
      Thanks for the compliment about the posts. Yes, kegels just aren’t the magic bullet for premature ejaculation unfortunately, and many guys have trouble with them. That’s why I think it’s important to look beyond kegels at other techniques.
      Regards
      Ethan

  • Breathing into your belly instead of your chest is another big help. Quick, shallow breaths into the chest is what your body does when it’s stressed and ready for fight or flight, your sympathetic nervous system gets activated and you get the same result as when you are flexing a lot of your muscles: You come much sooner than you’d like. I know you want to hide that beer belly, but seriously you need to take very deep and slow breaths into your belly, this will relax your entire body and in doing so activate the parasympathetic nervous system and delay ejaculation. You can even do relaxation techniques before sex or practice like progressive muscle relaxation and you will probably see a difference.

    • Hi there
      This is excellent advice – thanks for taking the time to share the idea. I agree that breathing can be extremely important in controlling arousal and lasting longer. Sometimes when having sex, if I realise I’m breathing too fast and heavy, and take a moment to correct it and breathe in a more controlled manner, I notice a definite drop in my arousal level.
      Regards
      Ethan

  • I dont see how kegels help at all during sex. through my experience all you need is to control your arousal level, relax and master edging which makes you dry cum (ejaculation without coming). kegels in my experience make it worse they do not stop ejaculation at all. But l would still be interested in knowing when would squeezing ur pc and bc help stop ejaculation during intercourse.

    • Hi Darwin
      Thanks for your comment. I agree that controlling your arousal levels and edging are more effective than kegels. Though I do think reverse kegels can be helpful in the relaxation process if you’re too tense. As for squeezing the muscles, I think that you can do it just before the semen starts the first part of its journey, if you’re able to time it that well. Usually guys leave it too late, and it’s already collected ready to ejaculate. So even after waiting a little while, it’s not long before they feel like ejaculating again already.
      Regards
      Ethan

  • I’m 18 male. How many times per week is good doing masturbation? During masturbation, i cant hold more than 1minute. In future when i will have sex, then i think i cant hold long to satisfy my partner. Does men do sex again after their ejaculation? Or how do women satisfy when ejaculated in a minute? What many times per week women needs sex?

    • Hi Sachin,

      I’m not sure I can answer all your questions. But I would say that you will definitely benefit from working on that lasting time, and starting as soon as possible. My personal opinion is that masturbation daily is absolutely fine, but you need to try and build up that lasting time. There are plenty of tips on this website, so look around and get started!
      All the best
      Ethan

  • Ethan , i can only last for 30 secs without kegel. Can u assure me that by doing kegel and reverse kegel intensly for about 2 months would solve my problem. If yes , then please say how long can i last . thanx from KSA

    • Hi Sam,

      I would love to be able to assure you, but unfortunately that’s not possible. It depends on you, how you do the exercises, and whether your particular issue can or cannot be helped by kegel exercises.
      What I will say is that if you practice for 2 months, then there is a good chance it will help. How long you will last for is totally impossible to say.
      At the end of the day you have nothing to lose by practicing, so keep at it and see what happens:-)
      Regards
      Ethan

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