How many kegels have you done today? What about this week, or this month? Is it the only exercise you’re doing to tackle premature ejaculation, or are you combining it with other techniques?
If you’re anything like me when I first started, the answers would be something like this:
- Today – around a hundred.
- This week – several hundred.
- This month – where’s my calculator?
As much as I wish that kegels were enough to tackle premature ejaculation, I’ve come to believe that they probably aren’t for most guys. And not only that, they are far trickier to get right than seems fair.
Surely you should just be able to do a few hundred a day and you’ll last longer in bed? Not true, sadly. And this is an important point to understand, especially if you put your heart and soul into everything you do.
A manly comparison: kegels & crunches
Putting maximum effort into just doing kegel exercises is a little like doing nothing but hundreds of crunches a day. You’ll get very good at doing crunches and might develop good abdominal muscles – but you probably won’t get rid of your unwanted belly.
It’s well known in the fitness world that to shed the belly fat and get a prize 6 pack, you need to hit your abdomen from different angles: cardio work, a good diet and different types of abdominal exercises etc.
The same applies to beating premature ejaculation (and funnily enough, exercise and a good diet will also help your stamina in bed). Doing lots of kegels might help, but it’s not enough.
Hold on a second…everyone raves about kegels don’t they?
Ok, time for a rewind. Surely if every article on men’s health websites says you should do kegels, then they must be important, right?
Well, yes and no.
I don’t doubt that there’s some good advice out there about premature ejaculation, but sadly there’s also a lot of incomplete and incorrect information.
What most articles fail to tell you is that doing kegels correctly is more complicated than “hold your pee, now you’ve got it, now do 3 sets of 10 of those squeezes 5 times a day and you’re cured.”
So how do they help?
There are 2 main ways in which kegels can be helpful in my opinion:
- If you develop good strength, tone and control you can stop yourself ejaculating just before the point of no return.
- If you keep the pelvic floor relaxed during sex, then it can help you last longer.
There are other reasons to do kegels of course, but these 2 are the core reasons to do them to help with sexual endurance. Note that the first way is used at a specific point in time, and the second one is more about helping generally during sex. And this is the key point: kegels can help, but there are gaps to be filled.
Kegels can make things worse
As some unfortunate guys find out, doing kegels can actually make things worse. Here’s why:
- Some guys hold a strong kegel squeeze as much as possible during sex. This is wrong and will make you ejaculate sooner (you actually need to keep the area relaxed).
- All those kegels can lead to you doing them subconsciously during sex anyway. Same problem.
- Doing too many kegels, or not mixing them with reverse kegels, can lead to problems with the pelvic floor, in-balance and involuntary contractions. In short it can make your control worse.
- Focusing on kegels alone means you’re not doing the many other things which can help.
So what should you do?
Now I’ve finished shattering the illusion that kegels are the miracle cure, what’s the alternative? For starters, whatever you do, just don’t rush in and start doing as many as you possibly can without any thought.
It’s important to be sensible with them, take a day or two off a week, do normal and reverse kegels. Stop if you feel sore or strange things start happening, like involuntary contractions. Think mild exercise rather than Olympic athlete in training. And don’t rely on them alone to cure you.
Filling the gaps & the bigger picture
Dealing with premature ejaculation – for most guys – requires a deeper understanding of the problem. There’s much more to learn and do than simply developing your pelvic floor muscles. Here are some other points to consider:
- How your mental state and expectations play a role in your lasting time.
- Understanding your different arousal levels.
- Learning to control your arousal levels.
- The different ways of getting an erection.
- An understanding of the two stages of ejaculation and the point of no return.
- How different positions, speeds, strokes and movements can help.
- How equalizing you and your partner’s arousal levels can help.
- How using accessories can help.
These are just a few examples of the other areas that I’ve come to realize are important for overcoming premature ejaculation. As you can see, there’s a lot more to gaining arousal and ejaculation control than just doing kegels.
If you’re interested in finding out more about these different areas, you might like to check out the different premature ejaculation guides available.