Natural Techniques Vs Delay Sprays: Which Is Best?

It’s the million dollar question if you have difficulty with your sexual stamina: what’s the best way to improve it?

In the 4 years since starting this website, I’ve thought a lot about the different approaches to tackling premature ejaculation. And of course, I’ve tried hard to work out which is the best since there’s no universally recommended treatment by the medical profession.

The way I see it is that there are two main approaches, and within each there are many different options:

  • Exercises and techniques to develop lasting arousal and ejaculation control.
  • Short-term and instant solutions like delay sprays, creams, pills and condoms etc.

My personal opinion is that it’s better to try and permanently fix a problem rather than constantly fire-fight the symptoms.

To use an analogy – if you had daily headaches, you wouldn’t just take pain killers every day and forget about it; you’d try and work out what’s causing the headaches and deal with them.

In a similar way, delay products can help a lot as a short-term solution. But they won’t cure you, and you’ll always be dependent on them unless you learn to control your level of sexual excitement.

As you’ll see in this article, I feel that developing self-control naturally is the best option. However, there’s also a place for desensitizing products in the short-term. I just think it’s a mistake to only use them and not bother trying to fix the problem outright.

Why desensitizing isn’t a long-term solution

For the sake of simplicity let’s imagine you have a relatively straight-forward case of premature ejaculation. You usually last just a minute or two and are pretty unhappy with your sex life. And it’s of course affecting your current relationship or confidence with women.

So do you try a delay spray which could have an immediate positive effect? Or do you take the time to properly tackle what’s likely a deeper problem than simply physical sensitivity?

There isn’t necessarily an easy answer to that question, especially if you’re feeling frustrated and embarrassed. It’s understandable that you want a simple solution which allows you to have a normal sex life. That’s what options like delay sprays or pills offer you.

Problems presented by desensitizing options

So what’s the problem then? Well, if this is the only approach you consider, there are some potential problems you’ll face:

  • You’ll have to use one every time you have sex. It will never cure you.
  • If you have an active sex life, it’s going to get costly over the years. Some of the best delay sprays are quite expensive – think anything from $2 to $5 every time you have sex. Even at just $3 per time, if you have sex on average 3 times per week, that’s around $500 a year. And that’s a very low estimate.
  • There’s a chance it will reduce your pleasure, your erection strength, or your ability to maintain an erection. Most desensitizing products which are applied to the surface of the penis contain anesthetics like Lidocaine or Benzocaine. Simply put, what they’ll do to your penis is a lottery.
  • There’s a slightly passion-killing process you have to go through: apply the spray, gel or cream; rub it in; wait for it to work (between 5 and 60 minutes depending on the brand); and finally wash it off to ensure it doesn’t transfer to your partner. This is fine if you talk openly with your partner about it. But with a new partner, it’s somewhat awkward.
  • If you choose to take anti-depressants (sometimes prescribed by doctors) then there are other possible unpleasant side effects to deal with. In my opinion, taking anti-depressants is one of the worst possible options because of the long list of potential side effects.

Not all bad, just not for permanent use

It’s important to understand that I don’t think delay products are a bad thing; I just think it’s better no to rely on them forever.

As an accompaniment to natural techniques I think it can be very helpful to use them from time to time. And when you first start out learning the techniques they provide a great confidence boost. Just remember that they aren’t a life-long solution or cure.

A more lasting solution

In some ways I think this section could be summed up in one simple line: with natural techniques you have the possibility to completely stop premature ejaculation.

Yet many guys are still drawn to temporary options. I’m not sure whether it’s because they aren’t aware that natural techniques can work so well, because they’re put off by the idea of having to put some effort in, or because the companies which produce the pharmaceutical options are better at marketing. Who knows.

I’ll admit that my personal journey of tackling premature ejaculation has taken some time, for various reasons. I’ve tried many different options over the years, but I can happily say that I’m now very confident about my arousal and ejaculation control.

What gave me that confidence is the self-control I’ve learned naturally, not desensitizing products.

Take control of your own body and mind

The single most important point I could make is that understanding how your body and mind work during sexual activity is the key to beating premature ejaculation.

The natural techniques teach you how to recognize what happens to you when you get sexually excited, and exactly what stages your body and mind go through in response to sexual stimulation.

And when you understand the processes involved, you can start to take conscious control of them, both physically and mentally.

The 4 main areas of natural techniques

I’ve come to learn that the natural route can be divided into 4 main topics:

  • Specific techniques you can practice alone to build your sexual stamina.
  • Techniques to recognize and lower your arousal levels during sex.
  • Other practical techniques to use during sex.
  • A shift in attitude to focus on your partner and other ways to pleasure them.

The first 2 points in some ways blur into one, as many techniques can be practiced in isolation or together. And the more you learn about them, the more you develop a holistic approach and put the pieces of the jigsaw together.

For example, you can combine breathing and relaxation techniques, kegels, reverse kegels, the start-stop method or edging, and arousal level identification and reversal.

They each have a place during solo practice and during sex. Initially you’ll work on one at a time, but eventually find that they all have a time and a place, often in unison.

The third point is basically a huge list of practical tips. It covers anything from choice of sex positions to special breathing techniques to choice of accessories like condoms or lubricant.

The fourth is in some ways the most complex to learn, and depends on your partner as much as you. But it’s not something to overlook. Learning what women want is something which I believe all guys should take the time to learn about.

Onward and upwards: developing sexual mastery

The wonderful thing about the natural techniques is that they open a doorway into improving your sex life in other ways.

The self-control and bodily awareness you learn can lead to much more enjoyable sex, both for you and your partner. Sex which you can fully enjoy, rather than being slightly numb and pretending that you’re enjoying it as much as you used to.

A few months back I had my first multiple orgasm. It was an amazing experience, and something which if you’d asked me about a couple of years ago I’d have said would be impossible. For me at least. And it happened because I was experimenting with techniques to last longer, even though I didn’t really need to at the time.

Maybe as the creator of a website about premature ejaculation I’ve studied and experimented with these techniques more than most guys would.

But I do believe it’s possible to follow the same path, learn the same techniques and have the same kind of success I’ve had. If, of course, you’re willing to put the effort in.

To be totally honest, when I first started learning natural techniques I felt a bit awkward and embarrassed when I practiced the exercises. Now I see it as an interesting and useful process of self-development.

Conclusion and where to start

So my answer to the million dollar question is that developing self-control is a better long-term solution than desensitizing products. I also believe it’s the only way to actually stop premature ejaculation rather than just cope with it.

Just to be clear though, I do think there are times when desensitizing products can be very helpful:

  • If you’ve had no success with natural techniques.
  • If your current relationship is suffering because of your sex life. In which case you could use a delay product while you start learning the natural techniques.
  • If you’re doing the natural exercises, but once in a while just want to have longer sex.

To get you started, I recommend taking a look at my delay spray reviews if that’s what most interests you. And if you’re keen on trying natural techniques, there are some useful ejaculation control guides that you might like to check out.

Your thoughts

Have you tried desensitizing sprays or natural techniques? Which approach do you prefer? Please leave a comment below with your thoughts. And if you have any questions about the ideas in this article I’ll be happy to try and help.

64 CommentsLeave a comment

  • Hi, my husband always use super shark nexus during our love making we both normally enjoy it but my problem is that i react to it. Immdetely after love making my will change some unwanted bleeding will come up. Sometimes headache, nausea. Discomfort and lots of them. What do I do

    • Hi Robert,
      No, because it’s not simply masturbation that causes it. It’s rushed masturbation that can cause it for some people – but not all. So unfortunately just stopping it isn’t going to help.
      Ethan

  • This blog is great and I am always looking for new ways to help me improve my performance. I am life long PE sufferer and my urologist turned me on to Promescent and got my off Paxil which was a godsend. I love Promescent and it works wonders but even though I do kegels, deep breathing, etc…they have some small effect but nothing like my spray. I have had chronic prostatitis so is ti possible that I will not be able to ever last naturally? I love being able to last but would love to be able to do it naturally…Thanks again for this great site.

    • Hi Conrad
      Thanks for the compliment – I’m glad you like the site! Promescent is a good spray – I’ve had good results with it too. I don’t know if the prostatitis will prevent you from having success with the other techniques, but I’d say not to give up on them. Some guys will take longer than others to develop stamina naturally, but even if you make small improvements, it’s a sign that you can improve.
      Ethan

  • Hello! I enjoyed your article! Very informative!

    So I’ve been struggling with PE for a couple of years now. I just went to the doctor to discuss what I can do to help overcome PE, and he just referred me to using lidocaine, but after looking at reviews of the tradeoff of pleasure for duration, I am not really interested in using that as a short term solution.

    As for natural techniques, I have done the start/stop method and deep breathing. I also have had a very understanding partner who doesn’t pressure me to last any longer than I do now. At the same time, I really just want to enjoy the pleasure a little longer.

    Typically I last anywhere from under a minute to 5 minutes. There are a few occasions where I go for 15 or over.

    I have heard that masturbation can lead to PE, and I used to masturbate for 10+ years 3-5 times a week. I’ve since reduced that to about once a month, but I’m still having the same problem. If I cut out masturbation for an extended period of time, could that cure my PE?

    • Hi Julius
      Thanks, I’m glad the article was useful!
      I think the opposite is true, to be honest. If you rarely or never masturbate, when you finally have sex all that built-up frustration is going to erupt out!
      The point is that it’s not masturbation that can cause it, but incorrect masturbation – for want of a better expression. If you always rush, then you train yourself to ejaculate quickly. However, if you take your time with it and use it to learn how your body and arousal works, you can train yourself to last longer.
      As for lidocaine, I wouldn’t totally write off the idea. The trade-off isn’t that bad if you use it carefully and use a good product. I think it’s interesting to at least try it once or twice. But yes, in the long-term it’s better to practice the natural techniques.
      Ethan

  • Hi Guys,

    My husband had pre ejaculation issue.. Later he found the delay spray, I was happy because he stayed in me for more time .

    But later i came to know he was not having the real fun. Because the Delay spray desensitized the penis area and made it numb. So just did it like a robo after applying the delay spray.

    Later he did some research and about how to apply the delay spray in such a way that he too enjoys the game.

    Now he too is enjoying this and he does for more than 20-40mins nonstop after applying the delay spray .

    Regards,
    Charmy

    • Hi Charmy
      You’re right in that knowing how to apply it correctly is important. I make the same point many times on this website – it’s best to use as little as possible at first to then get the balance right between reducing the sensitivity and still being able to enjoy it.
      Ethan

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