Natural Techniques Vs Delay Sprays: Which Is Best?

It’s the million dollar question if you have difficulty with your sexual stamina: what’s the best way to improve it?

In the 4 years since starting this website, I’ve thought a lot about the different approaches to tackling premature ejaculation. And of course, I’ve tried hard to work out which is the best since there’s no universally recommended treatment by the medical profession.

The way I see it is that there are two main approaches, and within each there are many different options:

  • Exercises and techniques to develop lasting arousal and ejaculation control.
  • Short-term and instant solutions like delay sprays, creams, pills and condoms etc.

My personal opinion is that it’s better to try and permanently fix a problem rather than constantly fire-fight the symptoms.

To use an analogy – if you had daily headaches, you wouldn’t just take pain killers every day and forget about it; you’d try and work out what’s causing the headaches and deal with them.

In a similar way, delay products can help a lot as a short-term solution. But they won’t cure you, and you’ll always be dependent on them unless you learn to control your level of sexual excitement.

As you’ll see in this article, I feel that developing self-control naturally is the best option. However, there’s also a place for desensitizing products in the short-term. I just think it’s a mistake to only use them and not bother trying to fix the problem outright.

Why desensitizing isn’t a long-term solution

For the sake of simplicity let’s imagine you have a relatively straight-forward case of premature ejaculation. You usually last just a minute or two and are pretty unhappy with your sex life. And it’s of course affecting your current relationship or confidence with women.

So do you try a delay spray which could have an immediate positive effect? Or do you take the time to properly tackle what’s likely a deeper problem than simply physical sensitivity?

There isn’t necessarily an easy answer to that question, especially if you’re feeling frustrated and embarrassed. It’s understandable that you want a simple solution which allows you to have a normal sex life. That’s what options like delay sprays or pills offer you.

Problems presented by desensitizing options

So what’s the problem then? Well, if this is the only approach you consider, there are some potential problems you’ll face:

  • You’ll have to use one every time you have sex. It will never cure you.
  • If you have an active sex life, it’s going to get costly over the years. Some of the best delay sprays are quite expensive – think anything from $2 to $5 every time you have sex. Even at just $3 per time, if you have sex on average 3 times per week, that’s around $500 a year. And that’s a very low estimate.
  • There’s a chance it will reduce your pleasure, your erection strength, or your ability to maintain an erection. Most desensitizing products which are applied to the surface of the penis contain anesthetics like Lidocaine or Benzocaine. Simply put, what they’ll do to your penis is a lottery.
  • There’s a slightly passion-killing process you have to go through: apply the spray, gel or cream; rub it in; wait for it to work (between 5 and 60 minutes depending on the brand); and finally wash it off to ensure it doesn’t transfer to your partner. This is fine if you talk openly with your partner about it. But with a new partner, it’s somewhat awkward.
  • If you choose to take anti-depressants (sometimes prescribed by doctors) then there are other possible unpleasant side effects to deal with. In my opinion, taking anti-depressants is one of the worst possible options because of the long list of potential side effects.

Not all bad, just not for permanent use

It’s important to understand that I don’t think delay products are a bad thing; I just think it’s better no to rely on them forever.

As an accompaniment to natural techniques I think it can be very helpful to use them from time to time. And when you first start out learning the techniques they provide a great confidence boost. Just remember that they aren’t a life-long solution or cure.

A more lasting solution

In some ways I think this section could be summed up in one simple line: with natural techniques you have the possibility to completely stop premature ejaculation.

Yet many guys are still drawn to temporary options. I’m not sure whether it’s because they aren’t aware that natural techniques can work so well, because they’re put off by the idea of having to put some effort in, or because the companies which produce the pharmaceutical options are better at marketing. Who knows.

I’ll admit that my personal journey of tackling premature ejaculation has taken some time, for various reasons. I’ve tried many different options over the years, but I can happily say that I’m now very confident about my arousal and ejaculation control.

What gave me that confidence is the self-control I’ve learned naturally, not desensitizing products.

Take control of your own body and mind

The single most important point I could make is that understanding how your body and mind work during sexual activity is the key to beating premature ejaculation.

The natural techniques teach you how to recognize what happens to you when you get sexually excited, and exactly what stages your body and mind go through in response to sexual stimulation.

And when you understand the processes involved, you can start to take conscious control of them, both physically and mentally.

The 4 main areas of natural techniques

I’ve come to learn that the natural route can be divided into 4 main topics:

  • Specific techniques you can practice alone to build your sexual stamina.
  • Techniques to recognize and lower your arousal levels during sex.
  • Other practical techniques to use during sex.
  • A shift in attitude to focus on your partner and other ways to pleasure them.

The first 2 points in some ways blur into one, as many techniques can be practiced in isolation or together. And the more you learn about them, the more you develop a holistic approach and put the pieces of the jigsaw together.

For example, you can combine breathing and relaxation techniques, kegels, reverse kegels, the start-stop method or edging, and arousal level identification and reversal.

They each have a place during solo practice and during sex. Initially you’ll work on one at a time, but eventually find that they all have a time and a place, often in unison.

The third point is basically a huge list of practical tips. It covers anything from choice of sex positions to special breathing techniques to choice of accessories like condoms or lubricant.

The fourth is in some ways the most complex to learn, and depends on your partner as much as you. But it’s not something to overlook. Learning what women want is something which I believe all guys should take the time to learn about.

Onward and upwards: developing sexual mastery

The wonderful thing about the natural techniques is that they open a doorway into improving your sex life in other ways.

The self-control and bodily awareness you learn can lead to much more enjoyable sex, both for you and your partner. Sex which you can fully enjoy, rather than being slightly numb and pretending that you’re enjoying it as much as you used to.

A few months back I had my first multiple orgasm. It was an amazing experience, and something which if you’d asked me about a couple of years ago I’d have said would be impossible. For me at least. And it happened because I was experimenting with techniques to last longer, even though I didn’t really need to at the time.

Maybe as the creator of a website about premature ejaculation I’ve studied and experimented with these techniques more than most guys would.

But I do believe it’s possible to follow the same path, learn the same techniques and have the same kind of success I’ve had. If, of course, you’re willing to put the effort in.

To be totally honest, when I first started learning natural techniques I felt a bit awkward and embarrassed when I practiced the exercises. Now I see it as an interesting and useful process of self-development.

Conclusion and where to start

So my answer to the million dollar question is that developing self-control is a better long-term solution than desensitizing products. I also believe it’s the only way to actually stop premature ejaculation rather than just cope with it.

Just to be clear though, I do think there are times when desensitizing products can be very helpful:

  • If you’ve had no success with natural techniques.
  • If your current relationship is suffering because of your sex life. In which case you could use a delay product while you start learning the natural techniques.
  • If you’re doing the natural exercises, but once in a while just want to have longer sex.

To get you started, I recommend taking a look at my delay spray reviews if that’s what most interests you. And if you’re keen on trying natural techniques, there are some useful ejaculation control guides that you might like to check out.

Your thoughts

Have you tried desensitizing sprays or natural techniques? Which approach do you prefer? Please leave a comment below with your thoughts. And if you have any questions about the ideas in this article I’ll be happy to try and help.

50 CommentsLeave a comment

  • Great article! I think you have touched on several issues for men when it comes to pe. My pe can last anywhere from 5 minutes to 15 min depending on my mood. It’s funny cause I have tried the start and drop method, thought of my grandma, etc but I often end up failing to control my orgasm. My wife starts off slow for the first minute or so but then she wants to go fast and hard. . . Which makes it that much harder to control my ejaculation. I have told her to start slow and “enjoy” it and I usually end up having to take control in order to slow my arousal. I have noticed, though, that we first thing in the morning is a little different. It seems to last longer. What is the pathological reason that sex seems to last longer first thing in the morning? I’m assuming that’s why sex is best in the morning.

    • Hi there
      Thanks for the compliment. I think it’s probably due to both physical and mental relaxation, and a lack of stress! That’s what I’ve always put it down to anyway. And maybe people just feel a little slower in the morning too, and less likely to engage too soon in the faster, harder sex that can make you ejaculate quicker.

  • I have always been fast – like really fast. My wife says it’s OK cause I can still make her happy other ways, but I can tell she wants more of me. I try edging and that helps a little bit, but only the same day. I still go to fast. My wife listens to the Sex with Emily podcast and they like Promescent, so she bought some and we tried it. It helps me last anywhere from 4-7 minutes now, but is relatively expensive per use like you mentioned, and does come with the awkwardness and prep time. I am continuing to practice other techniques for a more permanent solution. I have found though, that my PE itself was causing a lack of confidence overall. This made me either still go too fast, or even not get up at all (!!!). At least when I’m using the Promescent I feel more confident I can make her happy, which makes doing it the next time a little easier. Thanks for all the great advice posted here!

    • Hi Matthew
      It sounds to me like you’re doing the right thing – combining something that can help in the short-term with a concerted effort to improve naturally with behavioral techniques. Keep at it, and I’m sure in time you’ll be able to stop spending on the delay spray and master your control naturally!

  • Hi there I last 20 mins plus most times when having sex with my wife but other times I can ejaculate within 30 seconds of penetration what do you suggest to stop me from ejaculating so quickly so I can pleasure my wife for longer

    • Hi Jason
      All guys have variation in how long they last for. If you can last that long most times, then perhaps the shorter times are when you’re just very turned on, or haven’t had sex for a while. I think the best thing, other than following the tips on this site, is to go for a second round, pleasuring her with oral for example while you wait, or if you feel really horny that day, masturbate an hour or two before the time when you feel you might end up having sex.

      • you said something about it a good thing for one to do? from most of my research masturbating can also cause premature ejaculation.

        • Hi
          It’s a good thing to do! If you masturbate one or two hours before sex, then it should help you last longer. Yes, masturbating quickly for years can lead to premature ejaculation. But this is a different concept, and in this situation you are using to relieve the desperation to ejaculation, so when you have sex later, you should last longer.

    • Hi Leo
      Thanks for the compliment. Well, different guys seem to benefit from different techniques, or combination of techniques. Personally, I found the start and stop, along with both reverse and normal kegels useful, along with a detailed examination and learning of my own arousal levels. And on top of that, learning to control your own mental processes and physiological responses such as breathing was also important. And not to mention the practical things like choosing position, stroke, speed and style etc.
      Basically, they all have a part to play in the bigger picture, in my opinion. The only one I really don’t rate at all is the squeeze technique.

  • Hey sir. I have a question. I used delay sprey and after that it started low sexual erectile dysfunction and still continuing this problem. What should I do ??

    • Hi Jay
      Sorry to hear you had that problem. Has the problem now gone away after a few days, or is it still continuing? Normally any problem like this would stop once the spray has completely gone. But if it’s an on-going problem, I’d speak to your doctor, because it really shouldn’t have an on-going effect.

  • My girlfriend like when i go harder and faster but hate me of my quick ejaculation. What can I do to protect my relationship with her please.

    • Hi Kenneth
      Ah yes, that’s a classic difficult question. Women often like it hard and fast, but that can make it difficult for guys to last. Well, you can definitely try the two main options – learning natural stamina techniques, and also trying the delay sprays. You might also find using a condom helps to take the edge off a little. Perhaps also try a position where you don’t find it stimulates you quite as much. So if you go harder, try it in spoons for example, which helps you relax but still allows you to thrust hard.

  • Hi. My first ejaculation only 4 or 5 minutes .Second one more longer around 20 minutes. How do i get longer 1 one? My girlfriend doesn’t like second one. Can i have some advice.

  • My girlfriend likes it when i go hard and fast but if i do that i would cum is less than 2 mins. any exercises or things i can do to prolong it, i would rather not use any chemical on my penis

    • Hi John
      Ahh yes, that’s a tricky one! I think that the natural techniques are perfect for developing an ability to control your arousal. It might take some time, but it’s the best route if you don’t want to use chemicals. Other than that, try using a thick condom. And also don’t go hard and fast from the start. Get yourself through the first few minutes, then build up to it. For some reason that often helps. I’d also spend lots of time on foreplay to really get her warmed up so when you do go harder later, she doesn’t need it for so long.

    • Hi Francis
      I’m not sure I understand the exact problem. Can you explain in a little more detail what happens and what the issue is?

  • Hey
    I tried kegels before but it didn’t help much. So am thinking to try a delay spray instead. Which one do you recommend?
    Nice article btw

    • Hi there
      Thanks for your comment. It’s a shame the kegels didn’t help, though it doesn’t completely surprise me as I don’t think they are the best technique for lasting longer generally. If you have a look at my delay sprays review, you’ll find my current recommendations.

  • Great article! I appreciate you sharing your views about these treatments. I have tried a few different things in the past but have some new ideas now. Thanks again:-)

    • Hi Frank
      Thanks for your comment and compliment. I’m really glad you found the article useful, and I hope you have success with whatever you try next.

  • This is a very interesting article. I tried a couple of delay sprays but they didn’t do much, so I might try the natural route. I’m also thinking about trying tramadol since I have some left over from surgery a few months ago. Do you think it’s a good idea to use if I’m trying the other techniques? Cheers

    • Hi Tarn
      Thanks for your comment – I’m glad you liked the article. Delay sprays don’t work for everyone, so maybe you’ll have more luck with the arousal control techniques. If you haven’t seen it already, you might find it helpful to read my article about taking tramadol for premature ejaculation. I discuss it at length there. I think in terms of mixing it with these techniques, it’s probably similar to delay sprays – you could use it as an occasional confidence booster, but I wouldn’t rely on it long-term. It can work well, but in my experience it’s just not worth the side effects or risk of dependency. Still, if you and your partner want to try it out, it might help you have some longer sex when you do.

  • Hello! I usually finish after like 10-15 minutes (if I am not very very turned on) but after that I can go for a long time until I’m done again. I talked to my girl and we agreed on having oral pleasantries before we actually start having intercourse. We never done oral to each other before. I lack some experience for it, but I feel I am ready to give it a big shot now, what happens, happens. We do have a nice sex life though. I’m waiting to get home from work, so I guess we will see how it goes.

    • Hi Vladimir
      Thanks for your comment. I think 10-15 minutes followed by a long time is excellent – it doesn’t sound to me like you need any advice about your lasting time. I hope you had fun with the oral sex – if it didn’t work out, or you feel you need some more ideas, check out the oral sex advice article here. You’ll find a ton of useful ideas.
      Have fun!

  • If I do the natural techniques, how long do you think I will need to keep using a desensitizing spray for. Now I usually go 3-4 minutes when I have sex, if I didn’t have too much foreplay before. Otherwise it can be real quick if I got a hand job or blowjob before, and thats if I even make it to sex without finishing! thanks

    • Hi John
      That’s a really difficult question to answer! I don’t think there’s any way of telling, to be honest. To a large extent it’s up to you. Some guys will want to only focus on the natural techniques and forget about the delay sprays etc from the start. Others may use them from time to time for weeks until they feel they are getting enough control naturally to never need that confidence boost that a spray can bring. It also depends on your partner. Are they happy to work with you on natural techniques right away, and most times you have sex? Or do you think they’d prefer you to use a spray sometimes so you can forget about the techniques and just enjoy longer sex?
      At the end of the day, it’s something you need to decide together and work out what’s best. And that may well change as time goes by anyway.

  • Thanks for this very interesting and helpful article. Ive tried a few sprays and also condoms but am thinking I should try the exercise idea instead as I dont want to use the sprays forever. My girlfriend is cool with it because she knows it means she gets more sex. But I find them a bit embarrassing so if I can stop using them, better. thanks again!

    • Hi Tom
      You’re welcome – I’m glad you found the article useful! I agree that sprays can be a little embarrassing. When I used them regularly a while back, I had to go into the bathroom because I didn’t want my partner looking at me while I put it on! Sounds silly, I know, but that’s how I felt about it. Yes, they work and sometimes very well. But they do make you feel a bit less manly at times!
      Good luck with the exercises – I hope it works out for you!

  • Hi.

    I’m curious as to how you feel about using a desensitizer in conjunction with natural exercises like kegels, edging, and breathing techniques. I ask because my guy has been using Promescent for a few months now and he really enjoys the product. He doesn’t use it every single time we have sex but it’s definitely a good confidence boost for him during that time. I’ve assisted a few times with masturbation (on him) and edging practices, while he focused on breathing and communication with me. He happen to bring up using Promescent prior to a masturbation exercise session and asked how I felt about it. Of course, I’m willing to try it for him but wanted to seek advice or to see if anyone had used a desensitizer with natural remedies.

    • Hi Ash
      I think it’s a logical and effective thing to do in many ways. The delay spray can provide a good confidence boost, as you’ve already seen. And that in itself can make a difference to his overall feeling of control and any anxiety that might be playing a role. It also helps you to both have a better sex life while waiting for the natural techniques to really pay off. Those can take a bit of time, so I think it’s good to mix up your sex life. Sometimes use the spray and either don’t worry about the techniques at all, or try and use them but maybe not in such a controlled way. And then other times don’t use the spray and try to last longer just using the techniques, either in a controlled way like edging, or him just trying his best to put the control into practice while having normal sex.
      So in my opinion, they can be used in conjunction well.

  • Hi this article is very helpful, thanks. I think I will try the natural techniques cos I don’t wanna depend on sprays for too long. Good to know the reasons for choosing each one though. Thanks!

    • Hi there
      Thanks for your comment, and I’m glad you found the article useful. Yes, that’s one of the main reasons for going down the natural path. You won’t regret it as it’s a much better long-term solution.
      Best of luck!

  • I’d love it if natural remedies worked for me. My pe is so severe i sometimes ejaculate before vaginal penetration. Tramadol has had the best effects for me. I can last as long as i want with that, and i sometimes use a herbal blue pill if my erection isn’t rock hard. But im only able to use this sparingly as i don’t want to build tolerance. I’ve tried stud 100 in the past and the amount i needed to last resulted in 99% of feeling being lost. No point in that.

    I’ve ordered a trial of Promescent so I’ll see how that goes.

    But ye, my severe pe is beyond natural cures.

    I hear their trialing botox injections for pe. I’ll see how this pans out. But i wish i Could find a more permanent cure.

    • Hi Mr Tumble
      Thanks for your comment. All the things you mention are instant, temporary fixes and not the natural techniques I talk about in the article and elsewhere in the site. Hopefully Promescent will work for you, but I’d also think about trying the training techniques I mention.

  • Dear Sir or Madam

    Can you please explain to me what should I do I have quick ejaculation!!!! I bought Pro Sulution Gel. but no effect on me?
    please can you show me any product or what should I do?

    • Hi there
      Thanks for your comment. I haven’t tried that particular gel, but it’s probably just pure luck – they only seem to work for some guys, so it’s chance really. I think if you’re determined to try a delay product, have a look at my top 10 list. But also my advice would be to try the natural techniques that I discuss in the article. Even if you still try a spray, it’s good to work on the problem in the long-term too.

  • I don’t have PE problem , I was seeking in internet for a delay spray for a better sex experience for me and my girlfriend but after reading this I felt like that I don’t any delay products, its better the natural way.
    thanks a lot.

    • Hi Mehrdad,
      Thanks for your comment. Yes, I think if you already have a good sex life and last a decent amount of time, there is no need to spend money on any delay products.

  • I have been suffering from PE for over 8 years because I didn’t know in time. Just give me the the tip of the natural way to overcome it, thank u sir,because a lot of us guys are suffering from it but they are too shy to let people know about it.

    • Hi Christo
      Thanks for your comment. The important thing is that now you finally have recognized it and want to do something about it. I do highly recommend getting a book on the topic, as well as looking around my website for advice. It’s something which needs more than just a quick explanation to deal with. That’s why I think it’s a good idea to properly invest in researching it and learning the different natural techniques. A book will give you a step by step guide, with lots of useful background information. I recommend it so highly because that’s what I did personally, and it made a big difference to my ability to deal with PE. Of course, you can find lots of free advice online, on this website and others. So it’s up to you how much info. you want to take on and put to work.
      Best of luck

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