Natural Techniques Vs Delay Sprays: Which Is Best?

It’s the million dollar question if you have difficulty with your sexual stamina: what’s the easiest and best way to improve it?

In the 4 years since starting this website, I’ve thought a lot about the different approaches to tackling premature ejaculation. I’ve also read a lot of PE research and personally tried many products along the way.

Since there’s no universally recommended treatment by the medical profession, finding the right treatment isn’t always so straightforward; the reality is that there’s probably a bit of luck involved.

If you visit a doctor, and they can’t identify a treatable medical cause, they might suggest different self-help options as well as pharmaceutical treatment and/or counselling.

And within those self-help options, there are two main approaches:

  • Exercises and techniques to develop ejaculation control in the long-term.
  • Immediate solutions like delay sprays, creams, pills and condoms etc.

In this article I’m going to compare those two approaches. So if you’re not keen on visiting a doctor or taking medication, hopefully it will help you work out which you might like to try.

A matter of perspective

My personal opinion is that trying to fix a problem is better than constantly fighting the symptoms.

To use an analogy – if you had bad headaches every day, you wouldn’t just take pain killers every day and forget about it; you’d want to stop them from happening in the first place.

In a similar way, delay products can work well as a short-term solution. But they are unlikely to cure you, so you’ll always be dependent on them unless you learn to control your arousal levels.

I personally feel that developing self-control naturally is the best option. However, desensitizing products can also sometimes play a valuable role in the short-term.

Why desensitizing isn’t a long-term solution

For the sake of simplicity let’s imagine you have a relatively straightforward case of PE. You usually last just a minute or two and are unhappy with your sex life. And it’s affecting your current relationship and confidence sexually.

So do you try a delay spray which could have an immediate positive effect? Or do you take the time to properly tackle what could be a deeper problem than simply physical sensitivity?

There isn’t necessarily an easy answer to that question. It’s understandable that you want a simple solution which allows you to have a normal sex life. That’s what options like delay sprays or pills offer you.

But as much as they can be very effective, there are some important points to consider:

  • You’ll have to use it every time you have sex – it’s not a cure.
  • If you have an active sex life, the cost will add up over the years. Some of the best delay sprays are quite expensive – anything from $2 to $5 every time you have sex. Even at just $3 per time, if you have sex on average 3 times per week, that’s around $500 a year.
  • There’s a chance it will reduce your pleasure, erection strength or ability to maintain an erection. Many guys will be fine and tolerate those issues as a minor inconvenience, but others will find it bothersome.
  • There’s a slightly passion killing process you have to go through: apply the spray, gel or cream; rub it in; wait 5 to 15 minutes for it to work; and finally wash it off to ensure it doesn’t transfer to your partner.

When desensitizing can be helpful

Despite those potential issues, desensitizing sprays, gels, creams and condoms can be very helpful.

If you need help right now because your sex life is suffering, it’s an option that can provide immediate results.

It can provide a big confidence boost if you suddenly go from lasting 1 or 2 minutes to 5 or longer. And that can then help inspire you to continue working on the problem on a more lasting basis.

And if you’re working on developing control naturally, sometimes it’s nice to forget about that, use a spray and just have some great sex without worrying about all the techniques you need to try and get right.

A more lasting solution

In some ways I think this section could be summed up in one simple line: with natural techniques you have the possibility to completely stop premature ejaculation.

Yet many guys are still drawn more towards temporary options. I’m not sure whether it’s because they aren’t aware that natural techniques can work so well, because they’re put off by the idea of having to put some effort in, or because the pharmaceutical companies are better at marketing. Who knows.

I’ll admit that my personal journey of tackling premature ejaculation has taken some time, for various reasons. I’ve tried many different options over the years, but I can happily say that I’m now very confident about my arousal and ejaculation control.

And what gave me that confidence is the self-control I’ve learned naturally, not desensitizing products.

Take control of your own body and mind

For many guys, understanding how their body and mind work during sex is the key to beating premature ejaculation.

The natural techniques teach you how to recognize what happens when you get sexually excited, and exactly what stages your body and mind go through in response to stimulation.

And when you understand the processes involved, you can start to take conscious control of them, both physically and mentally.

The 4 main areas of natural techniques

I’ve come to learn that the natural route can be divided into 4 main topics:

  • Specific techniques you can practice alone to build your sexual stamina.
  • Techniques to recognize and lower your arousal levels during sex.
  • Changes in the way you have sex to help reduce stimulation.
  • A shift in attitude to focus on your partner and other ways to pleasure them.

The first 2 points in some ways blur into one, as many techniques can be practiced in isolation or together. And the more you learn about them, the more you develop a holistic approach and put the pieces of the jigsaw together.

For example, you can combine breathing and relaxation techniques, kegels, reverse kegels, the stop-start method or edging, and arousal level identification and reversal.

They each have a place during solo practice and during sex. Initially you’ll work on one at a time, but eventually find that they all have a time and a place, often in unison.

The third point is basically a range of practical tips. It covers anything from choice of sex positions to special breathing techniques to choice of accessories like condoms or lubricant.

The fourth is in some ways the most complex to learn, and depends on your partner as much as you. But it’s not something to overlook. Learning what works best for your partner is something I think everyone should make the effort to do.

Onward and upward: developing sexual mastery

The good thing about natural behavioral techniques is that they open a doorway into improving your sex life in other ways.

The self-control and body awareness you learn can lead to more enjoyable sex, both for you and your partner. Sex which you can fully enjoy, rather than being slightly numb or struggling to keep a strong erection.

A few months back I had my first multiple orgasm. It was an amazing experience, and something which if you’d asked me about a couple of years ago I’d have said would be impossible – for me at least.

And it happened because I was experimenting with techniques to last longer, even though I didn’t really need to at the time.

Maybe as the creator of a website about PE I’ve studied and experimented with these techniques more than most guys would.

But I do believe it’s possible to follow the same path, learn the same techniques and have the same kind of success I’ve had. If, of course, you’re willing to put the effort in.

To be totally honest, when I first started learning natural techniques I felt a bit awkward and embarrassed when I practiced the exercises. Now I see it as an interesting and useful process of self-development.

Conclusion and where to start

So my answer to the million dollar question is twofold: the easiest way to deal with PE is with a desensitizing product or medication.

But the best way is to take the long-term approach and learn to control your arousal and ejaculation naturally.

Just to be clear, I think there are times when desensitizing products could be helpful:

  • If your current relationship is suffering because of your sex life.
  • If you need a confidence boost.
  • If you’re doing the natural exercises, but once in a while just want to have longer sex.
  • If you had no success with the behavioral techniques.
  • If your doctor recommends it.

To get you started, I recommend taking a look at my delay spray reviews if that’s what most interests you.

And if you’re keen on trying natural techniques, there are some useful ejaculation control guides that you might like to check out.

Your thoughts

Have you tried desensitizing sprays or natural techniques? Which approach do you prefer? Please leave a comment below with your thoughts. And if you have any questions about the ideas in this article I’ll be happy to try and help.

75 Comments

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  • Hi…
    I don’t know if I have this problem or not…
    Some times I last long and some times very less during masturbatuon…

    And because I am not married I masturbate a lot …
    I want to know if a lot of masturbation is the reason of this…
    And also I am like always so much sexually active that even if I hear the voice of a girl my pe…. Goes up…

    • Hi Khalid
      It’s very normal to vary how long you last for – both when masturbating and during sex.
      If you masturbate a lot, then it’s often the case that you will start to last longer. If you only masturbate occasionally, then just like sex, there’s a chance you will finish quickly.
      If you’re very sensitive, so even a voice affects your control, then it might be good to practice natural techniques while masturbating – learn to control yourself as best as possible, perhaps also introducing things that stimulate you more, as a challenge to help your develop better control.
      Ethan

  • I think it is important to realise there are several different conditions.

    I’m no expert. But my sex life has suffered to the extent that I feel I have never really experienced proper sex. And probably never will now. It has damaged me sexually and socially, though I am now married and have children.

    (Except once, which I will recount, because it has helped me understand. I met a lovely girl after a night out, and I broke down and cried while I was with her because I was so lonely, and she said she’d come to me later. I didn’t think she would, but I fantasized and thought about loving her and ejaculated 7 times in my bed, which I could never normally do. But I liked her so much. She found me in the morning and though it took a while for me to get an erection because I had masturbated so many times, we made love for ages and I eventually came inside her when she wanted to finish, and am sure she liked it because she took me back to her place later that day, and we did it again a couple of times, and then she had to leave, and set me up with a date with one of her pals.)

    My problem isn’t that I’d quite like to keep the shagging going for a good while longer once I’m in. Sorry but I kind of resent this as being though of as the actual problem, though maybe it is an issue for some.

    It’s that as soon as I feel her vagina squeezing and hugging my hardness from all sides I can’t control the urge to come immediately.

    It’s not just the emotional ‘oh my god it’s so wonderful to be actually inside of your so lovely body’ feeling, it’s physical. The very first time I lay beside a naked girl, she started to put a condom on the head of my penis. I immediately ejaculated, ending in embarassment.

    I now realise this is a disfunction that can and should be treated, but though most of my life I blamed and hated myself, or at best told myself that that I was at the dufficult end of a normal spectrum. (Recent internet access to pornography, while perhaps not completely representative of ‘normal’ sex, has convinced me that regular, involuntary ejaculation less than 10 seconds after penetration is actually abnormal, unhealthy and disastrous for any relationship.)

    Decades after meeting my wife, we went to see an NHS sex counsellor. We went through all the psychological issues, pelvic floor exercises, candles, movies and scheduling romance, but honestly learned nothing new. It took months. Then she (the counsellor) said, we just had to go through that because some people have hangups about sex, but delay spray will work.

    And it really did. It took a bit of working out. The instructions said apply all over the head of the penis, but that just made it difficult to get hard enough to penetrate (which is never ever a problem for me) and it wasn’t that enjoyable either. So I experimented with the dosage and the application. I had always somehow been aware that the hair trigger for me was the frenulum (the kind of string at the underside of the head of the penis). Releasing 2 or 3 squirts onto a cotton bud, and then applying that directly onto the frenulum of my erect penis for about 30 seconds completely worked. I could thrust pleasurably for about 15-20 minutes before needing to reapply. Even that, however desensitised my wife, which wasn’t great. I am sure using a condom would have helped, but my wife has always refused to try condoms.

    Although my wife always comes to orgasm, she doesn’t seem to enjoy sex anymore. Or who knows, maybe she never really liked me that much to begin with, so joyless sex wasn’t a problem. It’s difficult. But I guess most couples of my age don’t really have sex anymore, but I don’t know. If I had understood sexual health better, and discovered delay spray as a treatment decades ago my life might have been very different.

    I hope that is useful for someone. It wasn’t so easy to write.

    I think this is a problem that hasn’t been solved for many people yet.

    • Hi Ian
      Thanks for sharing your story in such candid detail. I know it’s not easy to share this stuff, so we really appreciate it when readers take their time to explain in more detail things that can help others. I know many readers really appreciate being able to learn from the comments, rather than just what we the writers talk about.
      Interestingly, I just replied to another comment from someone who’s had trouble with delay sprays being too strong. And I recommended the same cotton bud on the frenulum trick that you describe. I think it’s a tricky balance to get right in some cases, and that’s a good way to really control how much numbing you experience.
      Did you wash it off after you used it? It’s really important to wash yourself before having unprotected sex to make sure it doesn’t transfer to your partner. Perhaps that’s the missing step that would allow you and your partner to enjoy sex again without that difficulty.
      Thanks again
      Ethan

  • Been using delay spray for my recent sexual exploits with my girlfriend, been working a charm, 3 times in one setting she came the other day…. just wondering if anyone has experienced any seemingly permanent loss of feeling? It feels to me like my head is slightly less sensitive all the time now?

    • Hi Dave
      Good to hear it’s helped so much. The ongoing loss of sensitivity is unusual, though some other readers have said similar things. I think if you do have a strong reaction to it, the full sensitivity usually returns in a few days. That’s going on what other people have said rather than any medical opinion though!
      Ethan

  • Hi, my husband always use super shark nexus during our love making we both normally enjoy it but my problem is that i react to it. Immdetely after love making my will change some unwanted bleeding will come up. Sometimes headache, nausea. Discomfort and lots of them. What do I do

    • Hi Robert,
      No, because it’s not simply masturbation that causes it. It’s rushed masturbation that can cause it for some people – but not all. So unfortunately just stopping it isn’t going to help.
      Ethan

  • This blog is great and I am always looking for new ways to help me improve my performance. I am life long PE sufferer and my urologist turned me on to Promescent and got my off Paxil which was a godsend. I love Promescent and it works wonders but even though I do kegels, deep breathing, etc…they have some small effect but nothing like my spray. I have had chronic prostatitis so is ti possible that I will not be able to ever last naturally? I love being able to last but would love to be able to do it naturally…Thanks again for this great site.

    • Hi Conrad
      Thanks for the compliment – I’m glad you like the site! Promescent is a good spray – I’ve had good results with it too. I don’t know if the prostatitis will prevent you from having success with the other techniques, but I’d say not to give up on them. Some guys will take longer than others to develop stamina naturally, but even if you make small improvements, it’s a sign that you can improve.
      Ethan

  • Hello! I enjoyed your article! Very informative!

    So I’ve been struggling with PE for a couple of years now. I just went to the doctor to discuss what I can do to help overcome PE, and he just referred me to using lidocaine, but after looking at reviews of the tradeoff of pleasure for duration, I am not really interested in using that as a short term solution.

    As for natural techniques, I have done the start/stop method and deep breathing. I also have had a very understanding partner who doesn’t pressure me to last any longer than I do now. At the same time, I really just want to enjoy the pleasure a little longer.

    Typically I last anywhere from under a minute to 5 minutes. There are a few occasions where I go for 15 or over.

    I have heard that masturbation can lead to PE, and I used to masturbate for 10+ years 3-5 times a week. I’ve since reduced that to about once a month, but I’m still having the same problem. If I cut out masturbation for an extended period of time, could that cure my PE?

    • Hi Julius
      Thanks, I’m glad the article was useful!
      I think the opposite is true, to be honest. If you rarely or never masturbate, when you finally have sex all that built-up frustration is going to erupt out!
      The point is that it’s not masturbation that can cause it, but incorrect masturbation – for want of a better expression. If you always rush, then you train yourself to ejaculate quickly. However, if you take your time with it and use it to learn how your body and arousal works, you can train yourself to last longer.
      As for lidocaine, I wouldn’t totally write off the idea. The trade-off isn’t that bad if you use it carefully and use a good product. I think it’s interesting to at least try it once or twice. But yes, in the long-term it’s better to practice the natural techniques.
      Ethan

  • Hi Guys,

    My husband had pre ejaculation issue.. Later he found the delay spray, I was happy because he stayed in me for more time .

    But later i came to know he was not having the real fun. Because the Delay spray desensitized the penis area and made it numb. So just did it like a robo after applying the delay spray.

    Later he did some research and about how to apply the delay spray in such a way that he too enjoys the game.

    Now he too is enjoying this and he does for more than 20-40mins nonstop after applying the delay spray .

    Regards,
    Charmy

    • Hi Charmy
      You’re right in that knowing how to apply it correctly is important. I make the same point many times on this website – it’s best to use as little as possible at first to then get the balance right between reducing the sensitivity and still being able to enjoy it.
      Ethan

  • hey there,,,Have been using alcohol(Napolion) anytime i do sex.And it has really helped me prevent premature ejaculation.is there any other drug that you can use for the same?I liked your article and all the answers you gave above Mr.Ethan.

    • Hi morris
      I’m glad you found the article and replies useful! Yes, alcohol does work very well for helping guys last longer. You just have to be careful not to drink too much, or it makes the erection worse – and reduces your stylishness as a lover I think! There are lots of sprays, creams and other things you can try using. Have a look around this website for ideas!
      Ethan

  • Great article! I think you have touched on several issues for men when it comes to pe. My pe can last anywhere from 5 minutes to 15 min depending on my mood. It’s funny cause I have tried the start and drop method, thought of my grandma, etc but I often end up failing to control my orgasm. My wife starts off slow for the first minute or so but then she wants to go fast and hard. . . Which makes it that much harder to control my ejaculation. I have told her to start slow and “enjoy” it and I usually end up having to take control in order to slow my arousal. I have noticed, though, that we first thing in the morning is a little different. It seems to last longer. What is the pathological reason that sex seems to last longer first thing in the morning? I’m assuming that’s why sex is best in the morning.

    • Hi there
      Thanks for the compliment. I think it’s probably due to both physical and mental relaxation, and a lack of stress! That’s what I’ve always put it down to anyway. And maybe people just feel a little slower in the morning too, and less likely to engage too soon in the faster, harder sex that can make you ejaculate quicker.
      Ethan

  • I have always been fast – like really fast. My wife says it’s OK cause I can still make her happy other ways, but I can tell she wants more of me. I try edging and that helps a little bit, but only the same day. I still go to fast. My wife listens to the Sex with Emily podcast and they like Promescent, so she bought some and we tried it. It helps me last anywhere from 4-7 minutes now, but is relatively expensive per use like you mentioned, and does come with the awkwardness and prep time. I am continuing to practice other techniques for a more permanent solution. I have found though, that my PE itself was causing a lack of confidence overall. This made me either still go too fast, or even not get up at all (!!!). At least when I’m using the Promescent I feel more confident I can make her happy, which makes doing it the next time a little easier. Thanks for all the great advice posted here!

    • Hi Matthew
      It sounds to me like you’re doing the right thing – combining something that can help in the short-term with a concerted effort to improve naturally with behavioral techniques. Keep at it, and I’m sure in time you’ll be able to stop spending on the delay spray and master your control naturally!
      Ethan

  • Hi there I last 20 mins plus most times when having sex with my wife but other times I can ejaculate within 30 seconds of penetration what do you suggest to stop me from ejaculating so quickly so I can pleasure my wife for longer

    • Hi Jason
      All guys have variation in how long they last for. If you can last that long most times, then perhaps the shorter times are when you’re just very turned on, or haven’t had sex for a while. I think the best thing, other than following the tips on this site, is to go for a second round, pleasuring her with oral for example while you wait, or if you feel really horny that day, masturbate an hour or two before the time when you feel you might end up having sex.
      Ethan

      • you said something about masturbate..is it a good thing for one to do? from most of my research masturbating can also cause premature ejaculation.

        • Hi
          It’s a good thing to do! If you masturbate one or two hours before sex, then it should help you last longer. Yes, masturbating quickly for years can lead to premature ejaculation. But this is a different concept, and in this situation you are using to relieve the desperation to ejaculation, so when you have sex later, you should last longer.
          Ethan

    • Hi Leo
      Thanks for the compliment. Well, different guys seem to benefit from different techniques, or combination of techniques. Personally, I found the start and stop, along with both reverse and normal kegels useful, along with a detailed examination and learning of my own arousal levels. And on top of that, learning to control your own mental processes and physiological responses such as breathing was also important. And not to mention the practical things like choosing position, stroke, speed and style etc.
      Basically, they all have a part to play in the bigger picture, in my opinion. The only one I really don’t rate at all is the squeeze technique.
      Ethan