This article is for anyone who’s never been taught the best way to masturbate. And considering it’s not exactly a dinner time topic, that’s probably 99.99% of all guys.
I’ll first describe the basics step by step, and then move on to some more advanced techniques for those who are looking for new and exciting ways to do it.
You’ll also find out how you can use masturbation to build an important skills when it comes to real sex: your sexual stamina.
So you can use your masturbation time to both have some fun and train yourself to be a better lover in the future. What’s not to love about that?
Before getting to the techniques, please help out by answering these anonymous polls:
2. Masturbation techniques
The basic technique – Madam Palm and her 5 lovely daughters
The basic way to masturbate is to lightly grip your penis in one hand, with your fingers underneath and thumb on top.
You then move your hand up and down the shaft. Don’t go too hard or fast to start with – start slow and build up.
With some experimentation you’ll be able to find the finger position, speed and strength of grip that most stimulates you.
If you like, you can pull your foreskin back and include the penis head in the up and down movement.
If you find the exposed penis head is too sensitive, it helps to use lubricant. Alternatively, you can keep the foreskin in place, so it acts as a protective barrier between your hand and the penis head.
Your hand’s twin
Try not to get stuck on just using your strong hand, as there are some fun ways to include your other hand, such as:
- Sometimes only use your other hand when masturbating.
- Have a go at using both hands at the same time. If you can put them one next to the other on your shaft, lucky you and your future partner… If you can’t, try squeezing your penis between your two palms and experimenting with a stroking action.
- Use one hand to move up and down the shaft while the other plays with the penis head, for example doing a circular motion with the palm.
Don’t leave your balls hanging
Remember the last time you got hit hard in the balls, and fell to the floor with that horrible nauseous feeling?
Yep, your testicles are a truly sensitive place.
They can also be much more than simply a funny-shaped storage facility for millions of wiggly little swimmers.
They are also an erogenous zone which you can use to heighten your pleasure and orgasms when masturbating.
If you’re only using one hand to masturbate, your other hand is free to explore other parts of your body. Here are a few ideas for including your balls:
- Pull them slightly downwards while masturbating.
- Try caressing, stroking or tickling them – experiment to see exactly what feels good.
- Try just holding them in a light grip with the other hand.
There’s also an important health reason to get to know how your testicles feel. If you know what they feel like normally, you’ll be quicker to spot any unusual lumps or growths, which is important to keep a check on during your life.
Find your other erogenous zones
It’s a popular belief that only women have multiple erogenous zones. However, the truth is that your body is far more sensitive than you might think (just look at Robin Hood’s inability to shoot straight when Maid Marian blew in his ear).
For example, try playing with your nipples – yes, your nipples! – and experiment with different strokes, pinches, pressure and movements.
Try caressing the inside of your thighs or your stomach. And if there’s anywhere else on your body that feels good to touch, enjoy exploring the different sensations that arise.
Some guys are more sensitive than others in different areas, so it’s up to you to find out what works for you when masturbating. There are no rules, so don’t be shy – get to know your own body and find out what floats your boat.
Moving south to the perineum
The Perineum is the area between your anus and testicles. It’s a soft padded bit of skin which can be very sensitive to touch. You can try caressing it or pushing it gently with your one hand you use the other to masturbate.
Experiment with different positions
Tempting as it might be to lock the bedroom door and sit in the same position every time you masturbate, it can be fun to try other positions from time to time.
Here are 4 ideas:
- Lie on your front on the bed, with your penis in one hand underneath your body. It might be easier and more comfortable to arrange some pillows under you to take some weight off your hand. You can then move your hips to thrust into your hand.
- Try kneeling or standing, and also then try thrusting into your hand rather than always keeping your body still and stroking with your hand.
- Change positions during your session: kneeling, standing, sitting, swapping hands or anything you can think of to add variety.
- Some readers have commented about how they sometimes like to put their penis between their thighs and then move their legs up and down. It’s a technique that’s probably not that common, but might be fun to explore if you can do the necessary yoga.
The male G-spot(s)
Some say the male G-Spot is like the lost city of Atlantis, and never existed in the first place; others claim that guys are in fact blessed with 2 different G-spots.
Whether they are officially G-spots or not, many guys find these areas particularly sensitive, and that they can increase the intensity of their orgasms enormously.
The first is the area on and around the frenulum – that weird string-like fleshy bit that connects the penis head to the shaft and you always wondered what it did.
If you play with it gently with your spare hand, you’ll probably find it’s the most sensitive part of your penis.
The second G-spot might not appeal to everyone, but some guys like to include their anus when masturbating.
If you’re willing to explore this area, you might find it adds an extra dimension to your masturbation and gives you super strength orgasms. Here’s how to find it:
- Wash your anus and hands before starting.
- Put some lubricant on your finger.
- Rub around the outside of your anus to begin with.
- Gently insert a finger as far as is comfortable.
- You can then just keep the finger inside while you masturbate with your other hand as normal, or move it gently in and out.
- The G-Spot is supposedly a small area a couple of inches inside. It should feel like a little ball just over an inch in diameter, which is actually the outside of the prostate. You can softly rub this spot if you manage to find it.
3. Masturbation toys
Treat yourself to a Fleshlight
There’s a whole world of wonderfully lifelike sex toys for guys who want to recreate the real deal in the privacy of their bedroom.
Arguably the best of all is the world famous Fleshlight male masturbator, with its carefully recreated vagina discreetly hidden inside a sturdy case.
It’s made from a silky soft silicon material, with contours and ribs that stimulate you in all the right ways.
As well as the wide range of different shaped vagina models, you can can also find mouth and butt sleeves, and some modeled on real porn stars.
And for the truly adventurous, there are some cool extras like the hands free shower attachment, vibrating versions and even virtual real sex videos to add some naughty interactivity.
If you feel like expanding your repertoire of self-pleasure techniques, you might just find that this truly is the best way to masturbate.
Whether you’re using a masturbation toy or just your hands, lubricant adds an extra element of pleasure, and also helps prevent friction – especially on the more sensitive penis head.
You can find lubricant in most pharmacies, supermarkets, sex shops and online stores. If you can’t, it’s ok to use a non-chemical, gentle moisturizer, baby oil or even your own saliva if you have no other options.
There are many great sex toys that guys can use, either alone or in combination with the techniques in this article. And cock rings are perhaps one of the simplest to try out, yet can can be surprisingly effective.
You can find simple rings that sit around the base of your penis, some with a double ring that fits around your penis and balls. And there are vibrating versions which will literally give you an added buzz during masturbation.
4. Increase your sexual stamina
Many guys get into the habit of rushing masturbation, especially when they’re younger. It’s understandable because doing it quickly feels good, and it reduces the chance of someone walking in on you.
The problem is though, that if you always do it as quickly as possible, there’s the possibility that you’ll train yourself to finish quickly when you have sex too, which obviously isn’t ideal .
So it’s a good idea to take it slowly and don’t rush it. Here are some ways you can use masturbation to work on your sexual stamina.
The stop and start method
A technique which was developed to help guys develop control is the stop and start method. You can practice this if you regularly ejaculate in under 3 minutes, or even if you last longer but want to increase your time.
The simple version is that you set yourself a time – 20 minutes is good – and you don’t allow yourself to ejaculate until that time is up.
Every time you feel yourself getting close to the point of ejaculating, stop and relax for one minute and then carry on. It might sound a bit frustrating, but after a few weeks you should notice you last longer.
You might also find that by holding back for so long, when you finally let go, your orgasm will be even more powerful.
Learn to recognize your arousal levels
Continuing with the theme of developing your sexual stamina, you can learn to identify your arousal levels during sexual activity, and then keep yourself under control.
Imagine a scale from 1 to 10, with 1 being not aroused at all, and 10 being ejaculation and orgasm. When you masturbate, if you focus on your whole body you’ll see changes that happen when you’re reaching the higher numbers.
Maybe you’ll breathe deeper, tense your legs or stomach, feel hotter or feel hornier mentally. Over time if you can work out what happens at number 8 and 9, you’ll know that ejaculation will soon follow.
And that means you can control your arousal by stopping for a while, changing position or doing the breathing technique below.
Breathe and relax
Breathing slowly and deeply while keeping your body relaxed is a useful skill to learn when masturbating.
The reason being that when you have sex with a partner, breathing quickly and shallow manner is a sign that you’re very aroused. And the more aroused you are, the quicker you’ll ejaculate.
So the next time you masturbate, try to focus on your breathing at least some of the time, keeping it slow and steady.
Breathe in slowly for the count of 4, hold it for 2 seconds, then breathe out for 4 seconds. Then keep repeating this rhythm
The final word
As they say, variety is the spice of life. And when it comes to your solo sex time, this is absolutely true.
Sure, it feels great to switch on your favorite porno and jerk away at lightning speed. And even if you still do it that way from time to time, it’s a good idea to try other techniques at least occasionally.
And of all the ideas in this article, there are two that I recommend above all others. The first is to practice the start and stop method if you usually ejaculate very quickly.
The second is to take your pleasure and orgasm to the next level with a quality male sex toy. So I highly recommend trying out a fleshlight.
You might also like
If you have a problem with ejaculating too quickly and it’s worrying you, you might like to check out one of my recommended sexual stamina guides for more advanced techniques you can try.
And lots of readers have left comments asking about their penis size. If this is something you worry about, I recommend checking out my article about penis size and enlargement techniques.