This article is for anyone who’s never been taught the best way to masturbate. And considering it’s not exactly a dinner time topic, that’s probably everyone.
In this article, you’ll discover new and exciting ways to give yourself more intense orgasms than you’ve ever had before, and hopefully have a lot of fun along the way.
You’ll also find out how you can use this solo time to train yourself to be a better lover when it comes to real sex.
With the right masturbation techniques, you can develop your sexual endurance, which will give you the best chance to fully satisfy your partner. What’s not to love about that?
Part A – masturbation techniques for maximum pleasure
Part B – techniques to improve your sexual stamina
Part C – frequently asked questions about masturbation, your penis and sex
Part A – Masturbation techniques
1) Getting started – the basic technique
Most people learn early on that their hand is the perfect friend with benefits. It’s natural, effective and a lot of fun.
The most basic technique is simply to grip your penis in your stronger hand with your fingers underneath and thumb on top.
You then move your hand up and down the shaft, not too hard and not too fast. With some experimentation you should be able to find the pressure, finger position and speed that most stimulates you.
If you like, you can lightly rub the head of the penis too, though without lubricant you might find it’s a bit too sensitive and dry. In which case it’s fine just to rub the shaft.
This is probably the oldest and most satisfying hands-only masturbation technique. The speed and pressure you can apply brings about a satisfying orgasm.
However, with a little creativity and variety, you can take it to a whole new level, as you’ll soon see.
2) Your hand’s twin sister
- Try using only your other hand sometimes.
- Try using both hands at the same time. If you can put them one next to the other on your shaft, then lucky for you and your future partner. If not, you can try holding your penis in-between both palms pressed together.
- Use one hand to move up and down the shaft while the other plays with the head of your penis.
- Wringing is a great double-handed technique. Imagine wringing the water out of a cloth by squeezing your hands in opposite directions. Just be a bit more gentle with yourself!
3) Don’t leave your balls hanging
It’s up to you to work out the best way to masturbate when including your testicles; all guys are different, but here are some suggestions:
- Pull them slightly downwards while masturbating.
- Try caressing, stroking or tickling them – experiment to see what and where feels good.
- Try just holding them in a light but firm grip with the other hand.
There’s also another good reason to spend some quality time with your balls. If you know what they feel like normally, you can look out for any unusual lumps – something all guys should do on a regular basis.
4) Try a realistic vagina
Of all the ideas in this article, this one has the most potential to improve the way you masturbate.
If you’re interested in techniques to maximize your pleasure and have stronger orgasms, this is the one for you.
Using a realistic vagina provides the perfect combination of intense stimulation and a challenge to your sexual stamina.
There are lots of companies that make male sex toys, and the one I generally recommend is Fleshlight. Their realistic vaginas are made from a high-quality, silky-soft material with a contoured interior that feels as close to the real thing as you’ll get.
If you’re interested in trying one, you can find out more at the official fleshlight website.
5) It’s not just women that have multiple erogenous zones
It’s a popular belief that only women have multiple erogenous zones. However, the truth is that your body is far more sensitive than you might think.
For example, try playing with your nipples and experiment with different strokes, pinches, pressure and movements.
Try caressing the inside of your thighs or your stomach. If there’s anywhere that you know you’re sensitive, don’t be afraid to explore yourself further with touch.
Some guys will be more sensitive than others in different areas, so it’s up to you to find out what works for you. There are no rules, so get to know your own body and find out what floats your boat.
6) Moving south: the perineum
The Perineum is the area in-between your anus and balls. It’s a soft padded area which can be very sensitive to touch. You can try caressing it or pushing it gently with your spare hand.
Again, be creative and see what kind of stimulation, if any, gets you going.
7) Experiment with different positions
Here are 4 ways you can use different positions to mix things up from time to time:
- Hold your penis under your body, lying on your bed on top of your hand. Then thrust into your hand.
- Try kneeling or standing and thrusting into your hand.
- Change positions during your session: kneeling, standing, sitting, swapping hands or anything you can think of to add variety.
- Some readers have commented about how they sometimes like to put their penis between their thighs and then move their legs up and down. It’s a hands-free technique that’s probably not that common, but might be fun to explore if you can do the necessary yoga.
8) The slippery joys of lubricant
Whether you’re using a toy or just your hands, lubricant will get you another important step closer to the real thing.
A real vagina is wet and slippery, so a dry palm is a poor imitation of that amazing experience. Lubricant also makes it easier to stimulate the head of your penis, and of course explore your anus if you want to.
Please note that depending on your age, you might not be able to get hold of a realistic vagina or sex lubricant. In which case, don’t stress about it. Yes, they’re a lot of fun, but they aren’t absolutely necessary.
You can find a wide range of good lubricants at amazon.com
9) The holy grail of the male G-spot
Some cynical folk will say the male g-spot is a lost Atlantis which never existed in the first place. Others claim that you’re in fact blessed with 2 G-spots.
The first is the area on and around the frenulum, the string-like piece of flesh connecting the head of the penis with the shaft. You’ll probably find it’s a particularly sensitive area to rub.
The second G-spot might not appeal to everyone, but some guys like to include their anus when masturbating. For others, it’s a strictly one-way street.
If you’re willing to explore here though, then you could be in for an orgasm-heightening treat. Here’s how to find it:
- Wash your anus and hands before starting.
- Put some lubricant on your finger.
- Rub around the outside of your anus to begin with.
- Gently insert a finger as far as is comfortable.
- You can then just keep the finger inside while you masturbate with your other hand as normal, or move it gently in and out. Whatever works for you.
- The G-Spot is a small area a couple of inches inside. It should feel like a little ball just over an inch in diameter, which is actually the outside of the prostate. You can softly rub this spot if you manage to find it, and if it’s pleasurable.
10) The double-edged sword of porn
Porn can be great if used the right way, but it can also be problematic if watched without any thought.
As you’ll find out in part 3, rushing masturbation isn’t the best way to go about things. And one thing which is sure to increase your arousal is fantasizing about your favorite adult movie star.
If you just switch it on, get yourself as excited as possible and rush to climax, you may be accidentally training yourself to ejaculate quickly during sex too.
However, if you use it as a tool when learning how to masturbate in a controlled way, it’s a good way to test your ability to keep relaxed and calm.
Everything in moderation is probably the right expression for the “should I watch porn?” dilemma.
11) Sex toys Santa won’t deliver
- Cock rings and vibrating cock rings add extra pleasure and also test your control.
- You can try out a realistic vagina mouth sleeve.
- There are toys designed to stimulate your G-spot.
- If you’re into any clothing fetish, don’t be afraid to have fun with it.
Part B – Improve your sexual stamina
Many guys, especially during their teenage years, masturbate as quickly as possible. This is understandable because a) you don’t want anyone walking in on you, and b) it just kind of feels better going faster.
However, what I’m about to tell you is probably the most important point in this article:
Take your time!
I don’t want to worry you, but some guys end up ejaculating very quickly during sex, which is obviously not great.
And it’s thought that one of the main reasons this happens is because of masturbating as fast as possible when younger.
But since you’re reading this, hopefully that’s never going to happen to you. And instead you can use your masturbation time to train yourself to become a stud in the bedroom.
Read on to find out a bit more about the right way to go about things.
12) The human traffic light: the start and stop method
One of the best ways to masturbate is undoubtedly the start and stop method. The simple version is that you set yourself a time – 20 minutes is good – and you don’t allow yourself to ejaculate until that time is up.
Every time you feel yourself getting close to the point of ejaculating, stop and take a breather for 30 to 60 seconds and then carry on. It might sound a bit frustrating, but it’s an effective way to develop your sexual endurance.
You may also find that by holding back for so long, when you finally let go, your orgasm will be even more powerful.
13) Kegels – relaxation and the last line of defense
Kegels are a secret weapon you can develop in the safety of your bedroom. They can be used as a last line of defense to stop yourself ejaculating.
As well as strengthening the muscles for holding back ejaculation, they also teach you which body parts to keep relaxed during sex.
In addition, they’re often used to get bigger and harder erections. They can also give you better bladder control when you’ve had too many beers. Bonus!
14) Breathe and relax
Breathing slowly and deeply while keeping your body relaxed is a useful skill to learn when masturbating. The reason being that tension will extinguish your sexual performance faster than a fireman’s hose on a wooden match.
So the next time you’re enjoying some solo time, remember to slow down and breathe.
15) The ultimate combo
In the comments below, many guys have asked me to specify which is the best masturbation technique overall. In my opinion, it’s to put together several different methods to create the perfect combination of pleasure and purpose.
So I highly recommend trying the following: practise the start and stop technique while using a realistic vagina, such as a fleshlight. Get some good lubricant if you can – fleshlights all come with some free lube.
Then when you use it, mix things up – sometimes lying down, sitting, standing, kneeling. You can also adjust the setting on the end cap so you get different suction effects.
The idea is to get used to a range of different stimulation, develop your sexual stamina and maximize the pleasure you get from the experience.
It really is the ultimate combo!
Part C – frequently asked questions about masturbation, your penis and sex
In the 4 years since first writing this article, many guys have left comments with questions about masturbation, their penis and sex in general.
Since the same questions are often repeated, hopefully this FAQ section will give you the answer you need without waiting for a reply from me.
If you can’t find an answer to your question here, or just want to share your thoughts and ideas about masturbation, feel free to leave a comment below.
Is my penis too small?
The size of your penis is a very common worry for teenagers, especially if you’ve compared yourself to other guys your age and they seem to have a bigger penis.
It’s important to remember that guys go through puberty at different rates. So one might find his penis grows a lot at age 14, for example, where another doesn’t reach that size until he’s 17.
So try not to worry about this, or compare yourself to other guys, when you’re growing up. If this is a concern for you, you might find it useful to read my article about penis size and enlargement techniques.
You’ll find information about average penis sizes, easy ways you can make it look bigger, and a discussion of all the classic penis enlargement techniques.
Is it normal for my penis to have a curve or be at an angle when erect?
It’s very rare for a guy to have a totally straight penis that goes out at exactly 90 degrees. Most guys have a curve to their penis, and the angle can range from downwards to straight up. It’s not a problem at all, unless you find you can’t have sex comfortably because of the shape – something which is very rare.
Is masturbation wrong, bad or evil?
No, masturbation is a normal and healthy thing to do. The vast majority of people on the planet will either have tried it and/or do it on a regular basis.
How often should I masturbate?
This is a very personal question, with no set rule. Some do it rarely, others weekly, daily or more than once a day. It’s up to you to decide how often you feel the urge, and if you think it’s acceptable or too much.
Am I masturbating too much?
Again, it depends on you rather than a set rule. But it’s only really a problem if it starts to interfere with other important things such as school, work, family or social commitments, or your sex life with your partner.
Can it give me spots, pimples or acne?
There’s no firm evidence that masturbation can cause acne. There are two theories as to why young people in particular might think it does though.
One is that an increase in hormone levels during puberty causes both acne and an increased sex drive, with the sex drive leading to a desire to masturbate. So people wrongly conclude that masturbation causes the acne if they start happening around the same time.
The second is that in many societies, adults told children that masturbation and sex cause problems like acne. This was to prevent sex before marriage. So that myth may have continued to today.
For more on this, you can check out the article at acne.org
Can masturbation cause unhappiness or depression?
There’s no evidence that masturbation can cause depression. So why do you feel bad after having solo sex? Probably because of the guilt you might feel because masturbation has been stigmatized as a bad thing in so many societies, for so many years.
If this is something you worry about, there’s an excellent article on the Psychology Today website explaining that masturbation doesn’t cause mental health problems.
Can I use up my sperm and reduce the chance of having children?
No, you can’t use up all your sperm. Your testicles are constantly making sperm, and you won’t run out of it.
Why can’t I ejaculate?
If you’re still a teenager, or younger, it’s probably because you just haven’t hit the point in puberty yet where ejaculation starts happening. Don’t worry about it for now.
If you’re an adult, this is something to discuss with your doctor. They can rule out any physical cause and discuss possibilities such as anejaculation.
What can I use as a lube, and are there household products I can use?
The best thing is to buy a good water based lubricant. If you can’t get hold of one, then don’t worry about it for now. It’s not essential!
Many guys have asked about using body creams or moisturizers, or other beauty products found around the house. My opinion is that it’s best not to use these as the chemicals in them can irritate the penis head if rubbed into it.
If you have a natural, water based moisturizer it’s probably ok, as long as you don’t rub it into the head too much. Some guys also use their own saliva, which is something you need to decide if you’re comfortable with or not.
Should I watch porn?
Legally, you should check if you’re old enough to watch porn in your country. If you are, then my advice would be not to watch it every time you masturbate, if it’s something that you do want to do.
It’s unhelpful to train yourself to only get aroused watching unrealistic porn films. Instead, it’s a positive thing to be able to get aroused fantasizing about romantic and loving sexual encounters with a partner.
I ejaculate very quickly – how can I go for longer?
You could try the start and stop technique that I mentioned in the article above. But if this is a problem you regularly have with your sex life, you might find it useful to read my main article about premature ejaculation for ideas about lasting longer.