Masturbation is one of those things that nearly everyone does at some point, very few people talk about openly, and even less explain how to do.
The reality is that it’s a normal, healthy activity that most people discover through personal exploration. So the best way to masturbate is arguably whatever feels most pleasurable and natural to you.
Having said that, I think there are lots of different ways to do it, from the basic techniques to more adventurous exploration of your body.
So in this article, I’ll first explain the basics step by step, followed by more advanced techniques for those looking for new and exciting ways to do it.
I’ll also look at how you can use your masturbation time to work on a useful skill when it comes to sex – your sexual stamina. By changing the way you do it slightly, you can improve your endurance in the bedroom enormously – bonus!
Since so many people read this article, I thought it would be interesting to run a couple of polls. You can see the results and add your anonymous answer if you like:
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- How to satisfy a woman in bed
2. Masturbation techniques
The basic technique
The most common way to masturbate is the basic one-handed technique. To do this, lightly grip your penis in one hand, with your fingers underneath and thumb on top.
You then move your hand up and down the shaft. Don’t go too hard or fast to start with – start slow and build up.
With some experimentation, you’ll be able to find the finger position, speed and strength of grip that most stimulates you.
If you like, you can pull your foreskin back and include the penis head in the up and down movement. If you find the exposed head too sensitive, try using lubricant (which is much nicer anyway!)
Your hand’s twin
Although it’s tempting to always use your strong hand to masturbate, it can be pleasurable to use your other hand too, for example:
- Sometimes only use your other hand when masturbating.
- Try using both hands at the same time. If you can fit them side by side on your shaft, lucky you and your future partner! If like most mortal men you can’t though, try squeezing your penis between your palms and experimenting with a stroking action.
- Use one hand to move up and down the shaft, while the other plays with the penis head, for example doing a gentle circular motion with the palm.
Don’t leave your balls hanging
Remember the last time you got hit hard in your balls, collapsing to the floor with that agonizing nauseous feeling, while everyone else stood around laughing at you?
Yep, your testicles are extremely sensitive!
The positive side to that sensitivity is that they are also an erogenous zone, which you can use to heighten your pleasure and orgasms. Try these ideas:
- Gently pull on them with your other hand while masturbating.
- Experiment with different stroking motions across them to see what feels good.
- Simply hold them gently in a light grip with the other hand.
There’s also an important health reason to get to know how your testicles feel. If you know what they feel like normally, you’ll be quicker to spot any unusual lumps or growths – something you should keep a check on during your life.
Find your other erogenous zones
It’s a popular belief that only women have multiple erogenous zones. And while it’s true that they do have more sensitive areas than men, your body is still more sensitive than you might think (remember Robin Hood’s inability to hit the target when Maid Marian blew in his ear?)
Try slowly caressing the inside of your thighs and your stomach. Some men even find their nipples are extremely sensitive, so try touching, stroking or pinching them to see if it feels good.
And if there’s anywhere else on your body that feels good to touch, don’t be afraid to enjoy exploring the different sensations that arise.
Experiment with different positions
Instead of always masturbating in the same place and position, changing them from time to time can also give different sensations. Try these:
- If you always sit, try lying down, kneeling and standing instead.
- If you always keep your body still while stroking your penis, try keeping your hand still and thrusting into it with your body.
- Lie on your front on the bed, with your penis in one hand underneath your body. Arrange some pillows under you, and then thrust into your hand.
3. Masturbation toys
The best way to masturbate is with a realistic vagina
Arguably the best of all is the Fleshlight realistic vagina. It’s made from a silky soft silicon material, with contours and ribs that stimulate you in all the right ways.
As well as the wide range of different shaped vagina models, you can can also find mouth and butt sleeves, and some modeled on real porn stars.
If you feel like expanding your repertoire of self-pleasure techniques, you’re very likely to find this is the best way to masturbate.
The slippery joys of lubricant
Whether you’re using a masturbation toy or just your hands, lubricant adds an extra element of pleasure, and also helps prevent friction – especially on the more sensitive penis head.
You can find lubricant in most pharmacies, supermarkets, sex shops and online stores. If you can’t, it’s fine to use a non-chemical, gentle moisturizer.
There are many great sex toys to try, either alone or in combination with the techniques in this article. Cock rings are perhaps one of the simplest to try out, yet can can be surprisingly effective.
You can find simple rings that sit around the base of your penis, some with a double ring that fits around your penis and balls. And there are vibrating versions which will literally give you an added buzz during masturbation.
4. The male G-spot
If you’re relatively new to masturbation, or don’t feel comfortable exploring your body beyond your penis, finding out where the male G-spot is located can result in reactions ranging from a rush of excitement to quickly clicking the back button on your browser.
The G-spot is basically an area which is extremely sensitive to touch and pressure. Stimulating it the right way can lead to extremely intense pleasure and orgasms.
A woman’s G-spot is inside her vagina, found by inserting a finger a couple of inches and making a sort of beckoning motion.
And a man’s G-spot is also on the inside – specifically inside the prostate gland, about the size of a large nut and under the bladder. Fortunately, for those that find the idea of exploring internally freaky, you can also stimulate it from the outside with the right motion.
The easy way – external stimulation
To stimulate your G-spot externally, simply massage the soft, padded part of your body between your balls and anus, called the perineum. It’s a sensitive area to touch in its own right, but if you gently massage and push it, you can hit your G-spot.
The tricky way – internal stimulation
A good way to try to find your G-spot directly is in the shower with some lube. Just remember to go slowly, be gentle and don’t prod too much with your finger.
5. Increase your sexual stamina
Some guys get into the habit of masturbating as quickly as possible. It’s understandable, because doing it quickly feels great, and it reduces the chance of someone catching you.
While it’s fine to have a quickie sometimes, you don’t want to condition yourself to always finish in lightning speed when you have sex too.
The main way to avoid this happening is to simply take it slower, relax and enjoy your masturbation time rather than rushing it.
But let’s also take a look at 2 specific techniques you can practice to build your sexual stamina.
The stop and start method
A simple technique for developing better control is the stop and start method. You can practice this if you usually finish in just a few minutes, or even if you last longer but want to increase your time.
The simple version is that you set yourself a time (10-20 minutes is good) and don’t allow yourself to ejaculate until that time is up.
Every time you feel like you’re about to orgasm, stop and do nothing for 30 seconds, and then carry on. You might need to stop several times before reaching your target time, and that’s fine. You’ll get better with practice.
This is a great way to masturbate for 2 reasons: you’re working on a useful skill for sex, and pretty much guaranteed a more powerful orgasm when you finally let yourself finish.
Breathe and relax
Breathing slowly and deeply, while keeping your body relaxed, is a useful skill to learn when masturbating.
The reason being that when you have sex with a partner, tensing your body and breathing fast are signs that you’re very aroused. And the more aroused you are, the sooner you’ll orgasm.
So when you masturbate, try to keep your body relaxed, and focus on your breathing at least some of the time. Breathe in slowly for the count of 4, hold it for 2 seconds, then breathe out for 4 seconds. Repeat that rhythm for a few minutes and see if it helps you feel more in control.
The final word
The key to great masturbation is to experiment and find out what really works for you. Try to be open-minded, but if there are things that just don’t appeal or do it for you, don’t worry about it!
There are two ideas in this article that I recommend above all others. First, take your time when masturbating and don’t rush it.
Second, whether it’s purely for pleasure or for working on your sexual stamina, I highly recommend trying a fleshlight realistic vagina.
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If you’re worried about your lasting time during sex, you might find it helpful to check out my recommended sexual stamina guides for even more techniques to last longer.
And if the idea of a sex toy appeals to you, but you’re not sure which one to try, you might like to read my review of the best sex toys for men.
Finally, a lot of readers have asked me in comments about their penis size and what they can do to make it bigger. So if you’re worried about that, have a look at my main article about penis enlargement.