The stop and start method, also known as edging, is a self-help technique that men who suffer from premature ejaculation might benefit from.
It’s a good technique to spend time on if you’re currently single and have time to work on your sexual stamina.
Even if you’re currently in a relationship, you can still practice it when you’re alone, or with your partner during foreplay or sex if they are up for it.
In this article, I’ll explain how it works, what goals to set, and how to do it both alone and with a partner.
How does it work?
The aim of practicing the stop and start technique is to slowly but surely increase the length of time you can have sex for before ejaculating.
When you regularly practice the technique, you’ll gain a better understanding of your arousal levels. Importantly, you’ll learn to recognise where your point of no return is, which is the point at which ejaculation is almost inevitable.
Eventually, you’ll be able to spot your body’s signs that it’s reaching the highest arousal levels during sex, and ideally stop yourself before you go too far down the path of no return.
As you’ll see in the steps below, you’ll repeatedly get quite close to the point of no return, but stop and rest for a while before continuing. Eventually, you should find that you can go for longer before hitting that point.
Understand your arousal levels
It’s useful to develop a better understanding of your arousal levels during masturbation and sex: which movements, rhythms, positions, etc. make you most aroused.
Once you have a clear idea of your arousal levels, you’ll know when the time comes that if you continue doing what you’re doing during sex, you’re likely to ejaculate, and so you need to make a change.
That’s when you can call upon other techniques, like kegels or change to one of the sex positions that you find less stimulating and easier to control yourself when doing.
So, while you practice the stop and start technique, pay attention to how your body and mind respond to sexual stimulation. Make a mental note of the signs that indicate you’re getting very aroused.
Perhaps you breathe faster or shallower, tense parts of your body, feel warm or flushed, get tingling sensations, feel excited, feel your heartrate increase. Everyone is different, so it’s up to you to learn what happens as you transition from resting to enjoying masturbation or sex to reaching orgasm.
The trick, and I’m not saying it’s easy, is to work out which signs mean you’re getting too close to the point at which you’re likely to ejaculate. Then try to do your stopping before you’re on that slippery slope (excuse the pun!)
Part 1: Solo practice
It’s better to practice on your own initially because you can take the time to really focus on how your body reacts when stimulated.
Set a goal
First of all, it’s good to have a goal. I think there are two approaches to this:
1. Have a set number of stops and restarts, like three or four.
Or
2. Set a time limit, such as 5,10,15, or 20 minutes.
It’s your choice, and an easier goal might be better for the first week or two. You can always adjust the goal as you improve. Personally, I prefer a time limit to a number of restarts.
Instructions
Once you have your goal in mind, here’s how to do the stop-start technique:
- Masturbate with just your hand. Try to keep a slow and steady pace.
- When you feel yourself getting close to climax, stop masturbating. Don’t stop too early, but don’t push it to the last second either.
- Rest for 30 to 60 seconds before continuing. Relax your body and breathe slowly while you rest.
- Repeat steps 1 to 3 until you reach your goal. Then you can ejaculate naturally.
- Over the weeks or months, you should notice that the period of time between getting an erection and hitting the point of no return gets longer.
- It can take a couple of weeks to see improvements, so don’t give up if you feel there’s no initial progress.
- After you feel that you’re making some small improvements, add lubricant to make it more intense.
- You may find at first that your time drops back down – don’t worry if it does. You should gradually improve again.
If you feel like climaxing as soon as you start again
When doing the stop and start method, you might feel like ejaculating as soon as you start again after a rest. This can be for one of two reasons:
- You’re not resting for long enough. 30 seconds is ideal, but you may need a minute for your arousal to drop.
- You may be pushing yourself too close to the point of no return. In future, stop a little earlier until you can rest for 30 seconds before continuing.
Practicing with a sex toy
If you’re single or practicing alone, you can eventually add a sex toy as an extra challenge once you’re happy with your improving time.
It’s a great way to close the gap between the stimulation of masturbation and the more intense physical stimulation of sex. It will also help ensure your hard work doesn’t fall apart when it comes to the real thing.
If you don’t have one already, check out my review of the Fleshlight Stamina Training Unit, which is the one I used when I was practicing the technique.
How long you should aim to last for
If you usually finish in a couple of minutes, aiming for 20 minutes is a tough goal. It can be tedious and time consuming if you spend ages masturbating because you have to stop and rest every 30 seconds.
Breaking it down into smaller steps is more likely to motivate you to keep at it.
If you usually only last a minute or two, set yourself the goal of five minutes before ejaculation for the first few sessions. From there you can raise the goal to 10 minutes. Later, from 10 minutes to 20 minutes.
When you can hit each goal with only two or three rests, you’re doing well and can move to the next goal.
And on the topic of 20 minutes – that’s not a strict target to aim for. I personally think 20 minutes is a good time to aim for based on how long surveys suggest women take on average to reach orgasm during sex.
For some people though, 20 minutes is way more than necessary. So feel free to set your own goals.
Having to stop too many times?
If you find you need to stop too many times to reach your time goal, either alone or with a partner, you can change the way you approach it.
Instead of stopping 10 times in 10 minutes, only do the process three to five times. Even if that only means a few minutes in total, eventually it will get better.
Part 2: The stop and start technique with a partner
Practicing with your partner presents a more realistic challenge. It also lets them know you’re working on the issue and they might like to feel involved.
There are two ways to do it:
- Go straight into trying it during sex.
- Practice with manual and oral sex, mixed in with normal sex on some days.
It’s up to you how you want to do it, but for those who want to start slowly, here’s a method to try:
- If you’re very sensitive, start with just kissing for a few minutes.
- Your partner can start to caress your body slowly and sensually.
- Ask your partner to masturbate you with their hand. If that makes you ejaculate quickly, this is the level you need to practice at for a few sessions.
- Tell them to stop before you reach the point of no return. Practice the stop and start method with them for the agreed time goal, before allowing yourself to finish.
- When you’re able to cope with your partner masturbating you, you can move on to oral sex.
- When you can last longer with oral, you can move on to sex.
- You might find that sex is too stimulating, even after developing control during manual and oral, so don’t rush. Spend time on foreplay and use lubricant to reduce the friction.
- Start with slow and shallow thrusts. You can even remain motionless inside your partner for a minute to let the initial intensity pass.
- Each time you rest, just kiss or caress your partner. You could also pull out and give them manual or oral for a minute or two.
- Continue slowly, with shallow, teasing thrusts.
- It might take many slow sessions before you can cope with more stimulating movements or positions. Just take things easy, build up and gradually increase the intensity.
Research evidence that the stop and start technique works
When I was reading into the research evidence for premature ejaculation treatments, I found many references to the stop and start technique.
Despite the fact that it’s often mentioned in scientific literature, however, there haven’t been many studies done to test its effectiveness.
Some of the studies that have been done either involved combined input from a therapist or combination therapy with a drug treatment.
If you’re interested in reading more about this, you might find a review of behavioral techniques published in 2015 interesting.
In the study, the authors said:
There is limited evidence that physical behavioral techniques for PE improve IELT and other outcomes over waitlist and that behavioral therapies combined with drug treatments give better outcomes than drug treatments alone. Further RCTs are required to assess psychotherapeutic approaches to PE.
Cooper et al.
‘Limited evidence’ could suggest that there wasn’t much evidence, or that there is some evidence, just not enough to draw firm conclusions.
More recently in 2020, a study was published in which 50 participants were asked to practice the stop and start technique with a vibrating sex toy three times a week for six weeks. The results were quite positive, as the team reports:
We found that a 6-week intervention consisting of vibrator-assisted start–stop exercises significantly reduced self-reported PE symptoms.
Ventus et al.
So, like many premature ejaculation treatments, it might work well for some men (myself included), but not for others.
I definitely think it’s worth trying though – it’s free, easy to practice, and in just a few weeks you should know if it’s working or not.
You might also like
The stop and start technique is just one technique among many. So you might like to read one of my recommended premature ejaculation books for even more techniques.
You might also find it helpful to read my premature ejaculation story, where I talk about the process I went through to deal with it.
what about if i practice solely it in lying position?
or any good position which works better?
Hi Will,
Probably many guys naturally do techniques lying down like this. I think it’s good to try to re-create some of the element of sex though to make the training more realistic. So I would sometimes change your position for a little while. Try standing, sitting, kneeling etc and swopping between them from time to time within each practice session.
Regards
Ethan
Is masturbate harmful for yourself??
Hi Billy
No, I don’t think so.
Ethan
First of all, I really appreciate the article. This is one of the most helpful article I read about Stop and Start method. For the first stage, I can do it for more than 20 minutes without feeling to ejaculate, but when adding pornography, my time is from 2 to 5 minutes depending on how stimulating it is especially for the moaning. Will this method improve my time?
Hi tp
Thanks for the comment and I’m glad you found the article helpful. I think that’s very normal. When you have more stimulation, it’s natural to climax sooner. I think it’s a good challenge to be able to watch films and try to extend your time. The challenge would be to last 20 minutes too. I would also say it’s good to mix up how you practice. Sometimes just use your imagination, other times watch a film. Don’t become too reliant on porn to get you turned on.
Regards
Ethan
hi, thanks for your time i did it along with the kegel for about two months and got a significant improvement. i would like to know what if i keep it for an hour or more.
Hi androw
That’s great to hear! Well done for managing to get such good results. If you mean what happens if you do the start stop for an hour, well I imagine either you’ll get bored or feel very proud of your lasting time! I don’t think it’s bad at all, but perhaps not really necessary unless you’re training to be with a woman who really needs you to last a very long time.
Regards
Ethan
Hi ethan
first of all thank you so much for this article.. i hope this will help me getting better
is it necessary to ejaculate every time at the time of start and stop method?
Also I am doing kegel exercise 3 times a day 10-12 reps
how many times a day i can do start and stop exercise?
Hi Mayur,
You’re welcome – I’m glad you found the article helpful. You would normally ejaculate at the end of practicing the start and stop method. So once you have basically had enough of getting aroused and cooling down again, finally reward yourself by allowing yourself to ejaculate.
You can do it several times a day if you have the time and patience. It’s up to you really. Personally I think once or twice a day is enough practice.
Regards
Ethan
How many repetitions do I do until I ejaculate?
I would say 4 or 5 times, or up to 20 minutes. Whichever happens first. But there are no strict rules and you can continue longer if you like, or less time in the beginning if you find it uncomfortable or impossible.
Ethan
I started masturbation when i was 13 till 14 i was masturbating fast after 14 i was wanna get new sexual pleasure by stopping and do it again few times and i am doing it until 18, all my masturbation with porn, i wanna ask if i have PE and if there is a way to delay PE completely , if i stopped masturbation in my case no problem i will face after marriage.
Hi A
I don’t know if you have PE or not. How long do you usually last for when masturbating? And have you had sex with anyone?
Regards
Ethan
I was doing the start stop method but it got to point were my penis wasn’t excited at all and no sperm came out
Hi Justin,
Then maybe you were doing it a little too much. Have things returned to normal since then?
Regards
Ethan
Forget about PE
just go down and use your tongue and fingers
Ever wondered how lesbians live happily with each other? They got no penis, only their fingers and tongues.
Girls like that, they feel being loved.
So, no worries guys! Take it easy!
Hi Lucas,
Thanks for your comment. I agree that it’s important to spend lots of time on foreplay, and that it can be a great way to both boost a guy’s confidence and satisfy your partner to spend time on oral and manual stimulation.
Ultimately though, many guys will still worry if they can’t last when it actually comes to sex. And if a woman knows you have a penis, she is going to want you to use it too! So it’s still important to work on your stamina, as well as being creative and generous in your foreplay.
Regards
Ethan
Hi Ethan!
My urologist recently diagnosed me with prostatitis. I was embarrassed to tell him what I was doing with myself. I always masturbate doing the start stop method, I keep doing this for 30 minutes and not ejaculate. Then I repeat that again multiple times a day and finally allow myself to ejaculate at the end of the day. Could that be the reason of my prostatitis? I also sometimes try to stop ejaculation really hard with kegels, but always fail.
So I don’t know which is bad, the start stop method or me trying to block ejaculation.
Moreover, I’m recently dating a girl and I really want to satisfy her. So, if I try to have sex twice in a row ejaculating each time after doing the start stop method to increase the time of lovemaking to satisfy my partner is that okay or bad? What if I repeat this 2 times a day, which means I have sex 4 times a day?
I imagine that impossible to have such strenght, but I’m asking this just to know if it is bad or not, maybe I’ll force myself to do it for her.
Sorry for the lenghty question!
Hi Adam,
Thanks for your comment and sorry to hear about the prostratitis. To be honest, I don’t know exactly if there could be a link, but I somehow doubt it. My advice though would be to talk to your doctor about what you’ve been doing and get their advice. Even if it is a little embarrassing.
By all accounts though it sounds like maybe you’re doing the start stop method an unnecessarily large number of times per day. I think doing it once or twice a day for 30 mins is enough to improve your lasting time. I would wait and see how often, and in what way, she wants to have sex before making any firm plans!
All the best
Ethan
As for sex, well if you can find a partner who is willing to have sex 4 times a day and practice the start stop each time, then you will probably have found the world’s most patient nymphomaniac!
Hi Ethan,
Thanks for posting this, I did it first time and it worked. I have one question for u. Does this technique apply while having sex?
Hi Raul,
If your partner is willing to do it with you, then yes. But you can also subtly do it yourself, for example when you feel yourself getting too aroused, change into a position which is easier to relax in, such as with your partner on top and then control her body so she can’t move too fast. The same works from behind in the spoons position for example.
All the best
Ethan
I did not understood what I am supposed to aim for. When you say “The goal is to keep practicing the technique until you can last 15-20 minutes before you first feel the need to ejaculate”, do you mean, that I should masturbate for 20 minutes without stopping at all, or that I should masturbate for that amount of time with some 30-sec pauses?
Hi George
What I mean is that the aim is one day to be able to masturbate for 20 minutes without stopping. But until you reach that goal, you can stop when you need to to calm down, and keep going until you reach 20 minutes. Little by little you should find that you need to stop less times to reach 20 minutes.
Hope that is clearer.
Regards
Ethan
how many time we repeat start and stop as per time (per single) and finally we send out semen or not
Hi Suresh,
That’s up to you. If you can keep practicing for 20 minutes before ejaculating, that’s a good target. But if you find you are stopping and starting constantly, then maybe aim for 5 minutes at first, then build up to 10, then 15 and then 20 over the weeks or months.
Regards
Ethan
Hi Ethan,
Bro can you please tell me that this technique increases your ejaculation time after 2 months and can I practice 3 days in a week…..
REGARDS.
Hi Sahil,
Hopefully yes, but I unfortunately can’t promise that, especially if you don’t do any other techniques. And yes, you can practice this technique pretty much as much as you want.
Good luck!
Ethan
according to hindu religion masturbation effects on sex capacity and sex time in men………
i was masturbating since 13 year old……
now my ejaculating time is enormously decreasing……..
can i increase my ejaculating time using this technique…???
Hi praneeth,
I can’t comment on the religious aspect because I don’t know anything about hindu religion. But as far as I’m aware, this technique can help especially if your reduced time is in part, or mainly, down to maturbating too quickly.
Regards
Ethan
Hi to everyone and hi to you Ethan , so i wanna please know if i have to stop when i feel too aroused (when i feel it’s like 10 seconds from coming out) or
should i wait almost at the no-return point (when i feel it’s coming out)??? to stop the process ???
You’re free to write me if you can see my email
Hi YEahManYEah,
You definitely don’t want to wait until the point you are ejaculating. 10 seconds, and probably more than that is a good time to stop and cool down. You need to experiment and see how long you last for after a cool down period. If you feel like ejaculating immediately again, then you’ve probably left it until too late. So next time, try stopping a little sooner.
Hope that helps
Ethan
I want to know that start and stop method should done how many times a day…..
and may I use both the methods start and stop & kegel..
Hi Manii,
It’s up to you how many times you do it, and how much time you have to spare! You can do both that and kegels, yes. But I wouldn’t do kegels more than once or twice a day. But the start and stop method – you could do that 5 times a day if you wanted and I believe it would only help!
Regards
Ethan
Should I stop and start the same day as sex ? Or will this make pe even worse
Hi Haj
I imagine doing it before sex is fine. It’s also a good idea to masturbate before you have sex anyway to reduce your ‘tension’. So doing it with the start and stop method is better than rushing it!
Regards
Ethan
Ethan, is stop and start be ineffective if one start the technique with lubricant
I’m not sure what you mean exactly. But to be honest, as long as you are still practicing the technique, using lubricant or not is not the most important thing. So if you don’t have any, don’t worry about it.
Hope that helps
Ethan
if I ejaculate every time at the time of start and stop method I feel sick. Is there any benefit if I don’t ejaculate every time at the time of start and stop method? if I practice it every day without ejaculation, will I get any benefit? after how many days should I ejaculate?
Hi Ark,
I’m not sure why you’re feeling sick – that sounds a bit unusual to me. I think there’s nothing wrong with not ejaculating on some days. Tantric practice will say it’s a good thing to keep that energy in for example. As for how many days, to be honest I’m not sure what the answer is to that question. It may be that you have to work that out yourself in terms of how frustrated you feel and how swollen you become!
Regards
Ethan
Hi Ethan, after doing the stop and start for months and finally gaining ejaculation control and start lasting longer,should one discontinue the training(i mean Is the cure permanent?)
Hi Dontee
First of all, congratulations for gaining control! That’s great to hear:-)
Secondly, the truth is that there is conflicting information about how permanent it can be when control is learned this way. Some say it isn’t, and will get worse again over time. Others believe that once you learn control, it should stay.
My personal experience was that the first time I really trained a lot to develop control, I did kind of lose some after a period of time without having sex and without practicing. But then more recently I’ve found that the control is staying better. But I don’t just do the start-stop method, but also other techniques and believe that I’ve learned a lot about the way my body and mind work when engaged in any sexual activity.
So I think it’s kind of impossible to say. My advice would be to experiment – see what happens if you don’t practice for a while – does your control stay or get worse? And at any rate, I would say that it’s always worth keeping at something so important. I don’t know how often you were practicing, whether alone or with a partner of course, but I think it’s always going to be beneficial to not rush either masturbation or sex – unless you’re having a quickie!
Hope that helps
Ethan
Hi, I am new to the idea of training myself to last longer. I would like to know what method should I start with first to start training. Start and stop, or kegels
Hi Mike
My personal preference would be the start-stop method if you had to choose just one. But as I mention at the end of the article, for a complete understanding of everything involved in dealing with PE, I would recommend getting one of the books we review and following the step-by-step plan it contains.
Regards,
Ethan
Hiii……hmmmm actually u may be right but I had tried dat for a month but nothing workd….I think d muscles have become too weak to tolerate after a handjob …any thing to strengthen them
Hi Archit
I’m not sure what you mean, sorry. Can you explain more?
Thanks
Ethan
Cheers Ethan ! Very useful web page mate ! Took a lot from it ! Very grateful ! All the best !
Hi J
I’m glad you found it useful. All the best to you too!
Ethan
Great article! Thank you so much for the explanations. I have had problems with lasting times for what seems like forever, and only now decided to do really try to fix it. No idea why it’s taken me so long to accept it and deal with it. But now I have decided to, I’m glad I found your website. Can’t thank you enough:-)
Jim
You’re very welcome Jim, and thank you also for the comment and compliments. I imagine you are not alone in taking a long time to face up to the issue. It’s not the easiest thing for a guy to accept. So well done for getting this far. The rest is just a matter of patience and dedication – hopefully – and in time you should see improvements.
Regards
Ethan
Hey ! Did you find that after doing this for 3 months you noticed a difference ?
Hi J
Yes, I did. But I was also doing other exercises as well. But I think if it was all you did, then after 3 months you should see some improvements. It depends of course on what exactly is causing your lasting time to be less than you would like, but I think a lot of guys should see some improvements, even if they are small.
All the best
Ethan
Hello Dear…firsty I wanna thank u for ur help and methods. My question is …..I started masturbating at the age of 13 and now I am 23 still masturbating,due to which I feel pain in my penis veins for about 10 hours (only when it got excited,not in rest state) after masturbation. What can I do to fix it?? plzzz help me.There is not any problem with my penis except the pain on the sides of my penis
Hi Archit
Hmmm…tricky one. My first thought is that you are maybe doing it too hard, fast, often or for too long at a time. I would take a week off, without doing anything. Then start again gently and see if the pain comes back.
All the best
Ethan
So what if I use this method I almost get to the point of no return, I use my pelvic muscles to refrain from ejaculating. I don’t but the muscles that would go off for ejaculating do, yet nothing no sperm is coming out. After that action, I can still masturbate I’m still hard and I can go a full 10 minutes hard and fast without feeling a thing!
Can you explain what this might be? Ps I’m in the shower doing this
Hi Two chains,
It could be that you are experiencing a ‘dry orgasm’ which is one step towards having multiple orgasms – something quite special for a man to achieve. Does it feel like an orgasm, or just muscle contractions?
As long as you can ejaculate normally at other times when you want to, then you don’t need to worry about retrograde ejaculation. And if you can then have another orgasm after 10 minutes, then lucky you!
Regards
Ethan
in the past 2 weeks, I have noticed I was able to hold on as long as 16 – 18 minutes whilst doing the start-stop method. But then, my PE was 1st as a result of masturbating to have an ejaculate quickly so as not 2 get caught wen I was a teen. This thought caused me to stop practicing. But there’s been progress doing this start-stop practice. What do you say, do I continue practising?
Hi Nedu
I think if you are seeing good results, then definitely keep on practising. You may find you need to always use the technique so you can maintain that level of control. Once you build up your time, but then stop the technique, over time your lasting time might decrease again. So I personally think it is a good habit to have.
Thanks
Ethan
at the time of practicing start stop method, if I don’t’ ejaculate, can I get improvements. becz if I ejaculate everyday I feel week. is there any improvements in practicing start stop method without ejaculating? plZ help me.
Hi Anik
Some people would say that it is good practice to do the start-stop method and not allow yourself to ejaculate, especially in the tantric sex world for example.
Personally I prefer to practise it for the amount of time I decide on, and then ejaculate as normal. I think even if you do decide to avoid ejaculation on some days, it is still healthy to allow yourself to finish at least once every 2 or 3 days.
Hope that helps
Ethan
Is it better to masturbate before or after doing kegels, or not even on the same day?
Hi Billy,
I don’t think it really matters if you do it before or after, same day or not. Lots of guys practice the start and stop method, which is a way of masturbating, and do kegels at the same time. The beauty of kegels is you can do them at any time, more or less. Or you can combine them with other techniques like the start-stop.
There is no real rule, but my thoughts would be either to leave some time between kegels and normal masturbation. Or do the two together, but with the purpose to delay orgasm rather than purely to train the muscles, as you would be doing if just doing them randomly in the day.
Hope that helps
Ethan
do i need to come every time i do this or is it optional?
Hi Dave
I answered this question in the previous comment, so you can check there:-)
Cheers
Ethan
Your guide has been unbelievably helpful and I cannot appreciate you enough for sharing your knowledge. I have a question though. Do I need to do the start and stop method everyday? Also, should I ejaculate after every session?
Hi Jay
Thanks for your comment, and I’m glad you’ve found it useful.
As far as I’m aware there is no harm in doing the start and stop method everyday. But if you’re also doing kegels, then I would definitely not to it everyday as it’s good to rest the muscles involved in kegels.
Whether you want to do it every day or not is a different matter! As for ejaculating after each session, well some would say it’s good not to – it’s a theory for the tantric world.
Personally I think unless you’re into tantra and ‘energy’ in general, then it’s probably good to ejaculate each time. At least you get some pleasure after making yourself go through the sometimes boring/frustrating/difficult process of starting and stopping over and over.
Hope that helps and good luck!
Ethan
Hey, I have a wife, she is my first sex partner, I can not last more than 4 seconds, just four strokes and I’m done… Seriously 5-10 seconds MAX!!! I hate myself.. I need help, I cry and she wants to help me, she wants to practice more sexual intercourse but I’m too ashamed. What should I do on my alone time. The stop and go method actually works?? Give me hope..
Hi Edward
Ok first thing’s first…there is hope! Of course there is. Secondly, if your wife wants to practice more, then that is the best thing you can do. You need to find a way to overcome the shame…I know it is embarrassing, but if your wife is willing to practice techniques like the start and stop method, then you will have a good chance of improving things.
Yes, the technique can work very well. However, it doesn’t work for everyone which is why I also suggest some guys may end up needing to try other techniques like using a delay spray. But it is worth trying for at least a few weeks to see if you make any progress.
Try not to stress too much…talk to your wife about it and don’t make it a closed thing which neither of you feels comfortable talking about. Be open about it, experiment with techniques and work together:-)
Good luck!
Ethan
So is this technique the same as edging or would you combine it with edging how does that work would u recommend starting the stop start technique and then switching to edging?
Hi Shadow
Well, depending on who you ask, they’re either exactly the same thing or slightly different. My take is that they are the same thing with different names. However, in classic explanations the start-stop method is literally that – you start and stop repeatedly. More modern explanations of edging tend to suggest it’s good to play around with your arousal levels and bring yourself close to the point of no return, but then drop back down sometimes and keep yourself in lower levels of arousal for a while instead of simply stopping for 30 secs then continuing as before.
I don’t think the fine details really matter to be honest, as long as you achieve the outcome of extending how long you take before reaching climax.
Regards
Ethan
What if you can never come?
Hi Tim
If that’s your situation now, then I would recommend talking to a doctor about it. There are some medical reasons which can cause that, so it’s a good idea to rule them out. But this website is really for guys who ejaculate too quickly, not the opposite. So Beyond advising you to talk to a medical professional, I can’t really help as it’s not something I feel qualified to talk about.
Sorry, and I do hope you resolve the problem.
Ethan
I have a question: what if you ejaculate after like 7sec after you start to masturbate?
Hi C
First of all, just to let you know that I saw the other message too, but you really don’t need to worry about the publishing aspect – these comments can be totally anonymous. But if you have any other questions, in future you don’t need to provide your real name or email in future (which I deleted for you and replaced with ‘C’ since you seemed worried).
To answer your question, you may need to slow right down then. You can still try the start-stop method, but just lead up to the masturbating very slowly by touching parts of your body around your groin, but not your penis. Learn to take your time leading up to masturbating, and to deal with the excitement of knowing you are going to be doing it.
It’s all about taking your time, and learning where you are getting over-excited and stopping yourself before you get to that moment of serious excitement. So for you it may be that the moment occurs before you even start. I hope that makes sense!
All the best with it
Ethan
Thanks I’ll try. I never knew the stop and start method.
I will try, thanks though
How many times do you recommend someone who suffers from PE use the “start-stop” method a week? This is referring to using it alone, how many times should we masturbate and use this a week?
Hi Jon
Good question! There is no exact rule about how often you should practice the start and stop method in a week. Some say that 5 days on, 2 days off is a good amount for example, others will do it every other day.
I personally did it almost every day for 3 months when I first heard about it. The only times I didn’t do it was when it wasn’t practical or I was quite frankly bored of putting myself through it!
I’ve never heard of any possible problems that can arise from practicing the start-stop method regularly if you have PE. If you overdid it without PE then you could possibly lead to problems getting an erection or not ejaculating.
But for guys with PE, I think you can probably do it as often as you like. Still, as with any form of ‘exercise’ it’s generally a good idea to take a day or two off here and there.
Some also say that once in a while you shouldn’t practice it at all, but just allow yourself to have a ‘normal’ session from start to finish.
I would say that’s a matter of choice. Personally I was diligent and practiced the start stop technique every time as I felt every opportunity to improve my lasting time needed to be taken.
On a final note, I would also suggest looking into other techniques as well. Combining it with kegels and reverse kegels is another great way to improve your lasting time as they naturally go together.
Hi Jon
There’s no real rule about that. So my recommendation would be just my personal feeling about it. But really, unlike kegels, I think you can probably do it as many times as you like. I personally tried to do it pretty much every time I felt like masturbating and just let it roll naturally like that, rather than setting myself a regimen for doing it, if that makes sense. I would just do it as many times as you feel comfortable, and can set aside the time to do.
All the best
Ethan