Your Questions About Sex

illustrated version of the missionary position on a bedOver the years, many readers have asked questions about sex, masturbation, their penis health and various other things which I probably won’t include on this page!

Since the same questions are often repeated, hopefully this FAQ section will give you a quick answer without having to wait for a reply from me.

If you can’t find an answer to your question here, or have ideas for improving my answers, feel free to leave a comment below.

1. Is my penis size normal?

The size of your penis is a very common worry for men, especially if you’ve compared yourself to other guys your age and they seem to have a bigger penis.

If you’re a teenager, it’s important to remember that people go through puberty at different rates. So one might find his penis grows a lot at age 15, for example, where another doesn’t reach that size until he’s 18.

So try not to worry about this, or compare yourself to other guys, when you’re growing up.

If you’re an adult and this is a concern for you, you might find it useful to read my article about penis size and enlargement techniques.

You’ll find out what the range of normal penis sizes is, easy ways you can make it look bigger, and a discussion of all the classic penis enlargement techniques.

2. Is it normal for my penis to have a curve or be at an angle when erect?

It’s very rare for a guy to have a totally straight penis that goes out at exactly 90 degrees. Most guys have a curve to their penis, and the angle can range from downwards to straight up. It’s not a problem at all, unless you find you can’t have sex comfortably because of the shape – something which is very rare.

3. Is it OK to watch porn?

Legally, you should check if you’re old enough to watch porn in your country. If you are, then my advice would be not to watch it every time you masturbate, if it’s something that you do want to do.

It’s unhelpful to train yourself to only get aroused watching unrealistic porn films. Instead, it’s a positive thing to be able to get aroused fantasizing about romantic and loving sexual encounters with a partner.

4. I ejaculate very quickly – how can I take longer?

If you regularly ejaculate too quickly during foreplay or sex, you might find it useful to read my main article about premature ejaculation for ideas about lasting longer.

In that article I discuss desensitizing options, behavioral techniques for developing arousal control, and the importance of focusing on your partner before yourself.

5. How do I use a delay spray?

All delay sprays and creams are slightly different, though there are some similarities between them. Because this is a tricky question to answer without knowing exactly which one you have, I recommend checking out my article explaining how to use delay sprays in detail.

6. Why can’t I ejaculate?

If you’re still a teenager, it’s probably because you just haven’t hit the point in puberty yet where ejaculation starts happening. Don’t worry about it for now.

If you’re an adult, this is an issue to discuss with your doctor. It may be that you’re suffering from what’s known as delayed ejaculation or anejaculation.

7. Is masturbation wrong, bad or evil?

Masturbation is a normal and healthy activity, which most people do at some point in their lives. The only potentially bad thing about it is the embarrassment of someone walking in on you!

8. How often should I masturbate?

This is a very personal question, with no set rule. Some do it rarely, others weekly, daily or more than once a day. It’s up to you to decide how often you feel the urge, and if you think it’s acceptable or too much.

9. Can masturbation give me spots, pimples or acne?

There’s no firm evidence that masturbation can cause acne. There are two theories as to why young people in particular might think it does though.

One is that an increase in hormone levels during puberty causes both acne and an increased sex drive, with the sex drive leading to a desire to masturbate. So people wrongly conclude that masturbation causes the acne if they start happening around the same time.

The second is that in many societies, adults used to tell children (or still do) that masturbation and sex cause problems like acne. This was to prevent sex before marriage, and so that myth may have continued to today.

For more on this, you can check out the article at

10. Can masturbation cause unhappiness or depression?

There’s no evidence that masturbation can cause depression. So why do you feel bad after having solo sex? Probably because of the guilt you might feel because masturbation has been stigmatized as a bad thing in so many societies, for so many years.

If this is something you worry about, there’s an excellent article on the Psychology Today website explaining that masturbation doesn’t cause mental health problems.

11. What can I use as a lube?

The best thing is to buy a good water based lubricant, especially if you’re going to use it for sex rather than just on your own.

Many guys have asked about using body creams or moisturizers, or other beauty products found around the house. My opinion is that it’s best not to use these as the chemicals in them can irritate the penis head if rubbed into it.

If you have a natural, water based moisturizer it’s probably ok, as long as you don’t rub it into the head too much. Some guys also use their own saliva, which is something you need to decide if you’re comfortable with or not.

13. Can I use up my sperm and reduce the chance of having children?

No, you can’t use up all your sperm. Your testicles are constantly making sperm, and you won’t run out of it.


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