If you can bring your partner to orgasm once, the chances are she’ll be able to have multiple orgasms – if you do the right things at the right time.
You don’t have to be a stallion or marathon man to make your partner climax more than once; all you need is patience and the right techniques. I can’t help you with patience, but I do have some tips for you.
Why multiple orgasms are easier for women
Women have a special advantage when it comes to orgasms. It might take us longer than men to climax, but we don’t then require what’s known as a “refractory period.”
After a man orgasms he usually needs this refractory period (basically a rest so his body can get ready to orgasm again). Since women don’t need this, we can go for round two sooner.
In terms of timing, we’re not talking about an orgasm immediately followed by another, and so on. There is generally a small gap between climaxes.
Second orgasm in under two minutes
That gap is smaller than you might think though. Whilst research shows it takes a woman on average of 18 to 24 minutes to achieve first orgasm, that second one comes much faster.
According to Catherine Blacklege, the author of The Story of V: A Natural History of Female Sexuality, that second orgasm takes just one to two minutes.
Multiple orgasms aren’t a myth?
Absolutely! We’ve known about multiple orgasms for a long time now. In fact, the famous sex researchers Masters and Johnson wrote fifty years ago:
The human female frequently is not content with one orgasmic experience… Many well-adjusted women enjoy a minimum of three or four orgasmic experiences before they reach apparent satiation.
How many women have multiple orgasms?
So, if multiple orgasms are real, do all women have them? Well, a sexual response study back in 1991 reported that a whopping 43% of women had at some point experienced multiple climaxes.
That’s a pretty impressive statistic, so it seems that many woman will be able to have multiple orgasms if they want to.
In fact, Dr. Barbara Bartlik, a professor of psychiatry at Cornell University in New York, says:
All women are [physiologically] capable of having multiple orgasms.
How to give a woman multiple orgasms
Unfortunately, there’s no guaranteed method of achieving multiple orgasms. The two of you are going to have to practise and find out what works for you. However, there are some basic techniques that can help out.
1. Manual stimulation is easiest
There’s a good chance your partner is more likely to orgasm from manual stimulation. Sex surveys show that 48% of women find it easier to climax by hand than from intercourse. And many prefer oral sex to intercourse too.
If you really want your partner to achieve multiple orgasms, then treating her to manual stimulation is going to improve your chances. Oral stimulation is a close second here.
Penetration, on the other hand, is probably not a good bet, since many women can’t orgasm from penetration at all.
2. Foreplay is essential
The idea here is that you get her so turned on that one orgasm just isn’t enough to satisfy her. And that means that your foreplay techniques need to be excellent.
You need to really build that sexual tension. And that begins even before you see her. Text messages during the day to tell her how excited you are to see her, great dinner conversation, maybe a massage, all before you get naked.
The more turned on she is before her first orgasm, the more likely it is that she’ll have a second (and maybe even a third).
3. After the first orgasm
So, she’s all turned on, and you’ve given her that first orgasm. Now stop. Remove your hand/tongue from her clitoris and turn your attention elsewhere.
Maybe suck on her nipples, maybe kiss and gently bite her neck. Run your hands down her body. Don’t directly stimulate her, but keep her turned on.
My personal preference is when my partner goes for breast play for a minute or so. But your experience might be totally different.
The idea is that whilst you’re not directly stimulating her (her clitoris is going to be very sensitive after that first orgasm), you’re still keeping her engine purring.
Now is NOT the time to grab a glass of water, go to the toilet, or anything else unrelated. If you break her concentration then you’re undoing all your hard work.
4. Going in for round two
After a minute or two of not giving her direct stimulation, it’s time to head back down south. With either your fingers or your tongue begin stimulating AROUND her clitoris, not directly on it.
With each circle around the area you make get a little closer to the clitoris until you actually touch it. If she winces or complains when you touch her clitoris then go back to making circles around it before moving in again.
Once you can touch her clitoris without causing her discomfort, then you can stimulate her in the way you normally would to orgasm.
And that’s literally it. Once she’s fully enjoying the clitoral stimulation again, just keep going until she hits that second orgasm.
Potential problems with multiple orgasms
After orgasm, the clitoris is extremely sensitive and your partner may not want to be touched there again so soon. If you keep trying to touch her clitoris, and she keeps pushing you away, then you should stop.
If you’ve spent a couple of minutes playing with her breasts, and then tried to go in for round two several times, but she’s still too sensitive, then backing off is the best plan.
You can, however, try going for penetration if she’s up for it. Penetration generally doesn’t stimulate the clitoris directly, so she might be more comfortable with this.
Not enough lubrication
Lubrication, or a lack of, can become an issue. So it’s usually a good idea to keep a bottle of lube to hand on the bedside table. The more lubricated she is, the easier and more comfortable it will be for her to orgasm.
She’s just had enough
Sometimes one is enough! A great orgasm can be exhausting (as it can be for you), and at that point another one might be just too much work.
Not all women want multiple orgasms, and even if they do, not all women want them every time.
It’s important that you’re sensitive to what your partner wants. So if she tells you no, be glad you gave her such an amazing orgasm the first time round that she can’t handle another yet!
Multiple orgasms are amazing
When they do happen, multiple orgasms are incredible. Personally, I usually find that the second climax is even better (and bigger) than the first.
And the best part is that you don’t need amazing sexual stamina to give your partner multiple climaxes; you just have to be patient and considerate.
As long as your partner is willing to give things a try, then multiple orgasms are completely within your reach. And as always, it’s the trying that’s half the fun.