The G-spot is thought to be an erogenous area inside the vagina that can be particularly pleasurable when stimulated, and lead to orgasm for some women.
Although the idea of the G-spot has been around for centuries, it’s only been known as the G-spot since the 1980s, named after German gynecologist Eric Grafenberg.
But the existence and exact biology of the G-spot is a hotly debated and controversial topic. So what’s the real deal with this secretive part of the female anatomy?
Where is the G-Spot?
The area commonly described as the G-spot lies inside the vagina, between 5 and 8 centimeters up from the vaginal opening. It’s on the front wall of vagina, meaning if she’s lying down facing you and your fingers are inside, it’s above your fingers.
Does it exist or not? What the research says
There’s still a lot of scientific debate around the existence of the G-spot, for two main reasons. Firstly, scientists haven’t been able to prove that a unique G-spot exists, even through imaging scans and biopsy.
Secondly, although many women can orgasm when that area is stimulated, others don’t find it so special, and some even find it uncomfortable or painful.
In 2012, researchers in the U.S. reviewed nearly 100 studies spanning 60 years, and concluded that the G-Spot probably doesn’t exist.
But could it be a hidden part of the clitoris?
However, researchers in Frances have a different theory. Based on ultrasounds of women during finger penetration, they discovered that stimulating the G-Spot could in fact be stimulating an internal part of the clitoris (which definitely exists). They reported that:
We suggest that the special sensitivity of the lower anterior vaginal wall could be explained by pressure and movement of clitoris’ root during a vaginal penetration and subsequent perineal contraction. The G-spot could be explained by the richly innervated clitoris.
And the lead author of the U.S. review, Dr. Amichai Kilchevsky, was also quoted by the Huffington post as saying in response to women who claim they do have a G-Spot:
What they’re likely experiencing is a continuation of the clitoris
So even though scientists can’t find a distinct G-Spot, there does seem to be a growing feeling that the internal part of the clitoris could be playing a key role – for some women at least.
My personal view is that whatever the G-Spot may or may not be, there’s definitely something there that feels good. I know that area feels good to me personally, and I can have strong orgasms by stimulating it.
Should we focus less on the G-Spot?
Some experts, such as Dr. Kilchevsky, argue that there are problems with emphasizing the importance of a magic G-Spot. People might put too much focus on it, at the expense of an allover body experience, and making women feel pressured to experience an orgasm.
It can make some women feel that there’s something wrong with them if they don’t seem to have a G-Spot. But as Jane Charmers, a lecturer in physiotherapy points out:
You are not abnormal or strange or dysfunctional if you cannot find your G-spot. Similarly, you are not abnormal or strange or dysfunctional if you expel fluid during arousal or sex. Sexual arousal, desire and pleasure are individual: if you are unable to find your G-area, work on finding something that does fulfill your sexual needs.
Points to keep in mind
Despite the debate and controversy, let’s now take a closer look at how to go about trying to find and stimulate the area where the G-Spot might be.
Before getting started, there are a few things to keep in mind:
- You might not find it: in which case, don’t worry about it. There are countless other ways to enjoy sex without focusing on this area.
- If you do find it, your partner may not like it being stimulated: some women find it ticklish, over-stimulating, or just plain uncomfortable.
- Finding it is only possible when your partner is very turned on: which means lots of good foreplay first.
How to find the G-spot
Because the G-spot is inside the vagina, there’s really only one way that you’re going to find it, and that’s by touch. And in case you’re wondering, your tongue isn’t long enough to find it orally!
The easiest way to find it is if your partner is lying on her back. Once she’s very aroused, insert your fingers inside her and feel around the upper wall of her vagina.
You may be able to feel an area that is spongy or swollen, almost like a large, soft lump, and the skin might feel a little rougher than the rest of her vagina. That’s how women often describe the G-spot.
How to stimulate the G-spot
Your best bet for stimulating the G-spot is going to be by hand. This usually works best during oral sex, since your partner will be receiving clitoral stimulation at the same time, meaning she should be nicely turned on.
Insert your fingers inside her (one or two fingers should be fine), and then make a “come hither” motion against the upper part of her vagina, as though you were beckoning someone to come towards you.
You should start out slowly and get faster. Try timing your finger motion to your tongue movements and you should get the speed right. Few women will orgasm from G-spot stimulation alone.
When you initially start stimulating the area your partner might feel like she has to pee, though that feeling will fade within a few seconds (but also might make your partner panic a bit if it’s her first time).
Just be aware of the fact that she might not like it, and she might feel a little strange at first, so be patient and understanding.
2. During penetration
It’s possible to stimulate the G-spot through penetration, though how successful this is depends on the woman, on the position, and on the size and shape of your penis. This won’t work with all women.
There are two positions that I’d recommend to reach the G-spot through penetration. Spooning allows fairly easy access, with you lying on your side behind her, entering her from the rear.
Doggy style is generally recommended for G-spot sex, though personally I’ve found that rather than the woman on her hands and knees this position works better if she’s lying on her front with a few pillows under her hips.
3. With toys
Sex toys are a great way to stimulate the G-spot, and as long as you’re comfortable using them I highly recommend a toy.
You’ll need a vibrator, preferably one that’s curved for easier G-spot access. There are plenty of G-spot vibrators around to choose from, and you might need to try a couple of different sizes before you find the perfect fit.
Again, toys are best used during oral sex so that your partner is getting both clitoral and vaginal stimulation.
The G-spot and squirting
Squirting, or a woman releasing fluid during orgasm, is another one of those controversial subjects, and is closely related to the G-spot.
Some women say they squirt during an orgasm that comes from G-spot stimulation. This could be because the physiological response to a vaginal orgasm is different to that from a clitoral orgasm.
During clitoral orgasm the bottom part of the vagina swells up, but during a vaginal orgasm the upper part swells, pushing the cervix downwards and possibly pushing out fluid at the same time.
Research suggests that somewhere between 10 and 54% of women experience ejaculation during sex, but the debate centers around what exactly the fluid is.
Researchers in 2014 found that female ejaculate is mainly urine, though does also contain a small amount of secretion from the prostate.
Regardless of what the fluid is, it’s perfectly safe (even pure urine is sterile). And many women find squirting enriching to their sex lives.
Others do find it embarrassing though. So if your partner finds it awkward, it’s not something to make fun of or show disgust of. It’s something to accept and help them feel relaxed and comfortable about.
What not to do
It might take a few tries to find. But don’t stress or get upset if you don’t find her G-spot – with some partners you’re simply not going to.
Don’t take it badly if she doesn’t like you touching her G-spot – some women simply find it uncomfortable.
Don’t rely on G-spot stimulation alone to bring her to enjoy sex or bring her to orgasm; most women will require clitoral stimulation as well.
And finally, don’t react negatively if she squirts a lot. It’s a natural function, it happens, and your partner has no control over it. Just be prepared with some towels or wipes to make the clean up smoother.
The G-spot can be amazing (but don’t count on it)
Sex that includes G-spot stimulation can be amazing for your partner, bringing her to a powerful orgasm. But you shouldn’t count on this happening, and even if it happens once, you can’t count on it happening every time.
A G-spot orgasm is like the icing on the cake for some women; having it is great, but not having it is great too. Being a good lover means understanding your partner’s physiology, but also understanding what works for her or not.
Still, it’s always worth experimenting a little, since even if you don’t find her G-spot, you’re both sure to have fun anyway!
Do you think the G-Spot exists? Or do you agree with Isabel Allende, who believes that the real G-Spot is touched with words, feelings and a connection between you?
Let me know in the comments below!