How To Kiss A Girl – A Woman’s Advice For Guys

image of a couple kissing

Whether you’ve never kissed a girl before, or have some experience but feel you’re not rocking her world, you’ve come to the right place to master the essential basics.

If your first kiss doesn’t go as smoothly as you imagined, it’s not the end of the world; it usually takes a bit of time for two people to understand each other physically.

But if you can make that first intimate moment a magical one that leaves her wanting more, it’s a great start and bodes well for the future.

Which type of first kiss?

And as with so many things in life, there are all kinds of different first kisses.

The nervous ‘oh my God, this is really happening!’ kiss; the ‘jump on each other after months of tension’ kiss; the ‘oh crap, should I be doing this? kiss’; the ‘sweet and romantic, day the earth stood still’ kiss…and the list goes on.

Rather than try to cover every eventuality, however, in this article I’ll be sharing some ideas for a relatively normal, romantic and sensual kiss. Make no mistake though – if you’re looking for crazy and wild, you need to master this kind first.

And if it’s your first time with someone, or you’re still in the early stages, this kind of kiss is a safe bet. So the tips here will hopefully help you get it right.

They should also ensure your first time doesn’t end up being too close to either end of the kissing spectrum – the equally unrealistic Disney movie or hardcore porno.

The slow, tension-building build up

photo of a couple holding handsPerhaps the most important advice is to not jump on her face the second you think it’s time for a kiss.

In fact, you can use a slow build up to your advantage. It can improve things for the both of you by increasing the excitement, helping you relax, and getting you both more comfortable around each other.

Try closing in on her personal space little by little, make lots of eye contact, speak in a softer and quieter voice, and stay engaged with her. These are subtle signals, but she’ll pick up on them and reciprocate if she’s into it.

If she seems too nervous, or like she’s not ready, that’s okay too. There’s no need to force it or rush it.

And when the moment finally arrives, don’t rush the movement towards her waiting lips. You risk bumping teeth, or worse, surprising her when she’s not ready.

Take advantage of the build up you’ve created and go in for the kiss slowly. Let that tension simmer just a tiny bit longer as your lips get closer and closer.

Send some clear signals

Everyone is different, and finding out what works for you will be a experiment – and ideally a fun one too! Personally, I love when a guy tucks some of my hair behind my ear. It’s a clear signal that he wants to kiss me. It’s also passionate, intimate and shows he’s into me.

Figure out what kind of signal you want to send that you want to kiss her. Stop talking, look at her lips for a second a couple of times in between holding her eye contact, move in closer – or all three!

She may initiate the kiss herself, or let you initiate and then enthusiastically respond. Either way, you can be sure she’s into it.

Close your eyes

Most of us find it a bit unnerving if we realize the guy has their eyes open when they’re kissing us. Closing your eyes will feel more intimate, help both of you relax, and heighten the sensation.

However, don’t close your eyes until you’re pretty close to the kiss. It helps avoid that awkward situation where you make her feel you have a fetish for nostril sucking. Once your lips are touching, go ahead and close your eyes and enjoy the moment.

Pick a side

One of the more awkward moments is bumping noses straight on; it won’t ruin the kiss of course, and you can quickly forget it with a cute giggle – but it’s better to avoid it.

So tilt your head a little to one side and stick with it. She’ll most likely adjust to match you – she wants it to go well too.

If you’re having a longer kissing session, breaking apart briefly to switch sides is great too. It keeps things interesting and engaging.

Don’t start with your tongue

photo of a mouth and tongueWorry about the simple stuff first – line up your lips with hers, close your eyes, and simply spend some time enjoying the feeling of kissing her soft lips.

Too many guys send their tongue on an urgent mission of exploration, but it’s best not to force your tongue into her mouth until the heat and passion are nicely bubbling away.

At worst, you risk putting her off if she gets freaked out by the sudden leap from just talking to you to having your tongue thrust into her mouth.

Most of us like to begin with a regular kiss, and it’s good to enjoy each stage of the kiss without missing out the more delicate and softer initial kisses.

So save your tongue for just a while longer…

Don’t pucker

You know that face some people make in their selfies – the classic duck face? Most girls don’t want to see their guy doing that when they kiss him, so keep your lips fairly relaxed as you lean in for the kiss.

There’s a natural rhythm to a longer kiss that involves some lip movement, but you don’t want to start out tense. Kissing stiff, puckered lips is just weird.

Puckered lips are fine for a quick peck on the cheek, but for a longer and more intense kiss, keep those lips nice and relaxed.

French kissing

The classic French kiss is sexy, passionate, and fun – when it’s done correctly. When it’s not, it can be a messy, slobbery mood killer.

In my experience, not many guys know how to do it so well – even if they clearly think they do!

The best french kissing experiences I’ve had have been slow, sensuous and not too long. The worst ones have been stiff, wet, and make me wonder if he’s daydreaming about sport while he cleans his teeth with his tongue.

To test the waters, try opening your mouth a little more in the middle of the kiss and giving her a light touch on the lips with your tongue. She’ll open up if she’s into it. After that, feel free to explore her tongue, and the rest of her mouth, with your tongue.

It’s important to remember that French kissing is something to share, not something to do to the other person. So give her the opportunity to explore your tongue and mouth too.

With a little practice, you can have fun taking turns to be the one who’s more active, and who’s relaxed and seeing what movements the other brings to the party.

Just remember to cut it off when it’s getting a little messy. It’s easy to transition right back into regular kissing.

Explore a little

man and a woman kissing in a carOr a lot! Remember, you’re not restricted to her lips, especially if it’s an intense kissing session. When you’re enjoying a longer kiss together and you want to kick it up a notch, explore different areas of her body

You can try cupping her face, running your hands through her hair, resting your hands on her hips, or lightly pulling her closer to you by pressing on her back.

Doing things like that will make her feel desired, sexy, and even more into the moment with you. It’s also a great way to let her know that you want things to go further.

And you can expand your kiss to other areas too! A favorite sexy spot to kiss a girl is along her neck. Slowly kiss your way across her jaw and down to the side of her neck.

It’s a very sensitive spot for most women and we love it. Just don’t leave us with marks we need to wear a scarf to cover up, unless you know we’re into looking like a vampire attacked us…

Don’t forget

It might be hard to resist if you’re feeling great chemistry and agonizing sexual tension, but try to be patient. If you haven’t had a first kiss yet, sometimes it can feel like it’s the end of the world.

It’s totally understandable to be eager – kissing is great after all – but it’s worth the wait to find the perfect moment for the perfect first kiss.

One more thing

It’s only fun if you’re both loving it, so make sure both of you are ready and having a good time. If you’re not loving what’s happening, it’s totally fine to try something new! Half the fun is exploring and figuring out what you both love and will get your body all tingly.

Your kissing ideas

Do you have any ideas about what makes the perfect kiss? Do you have any techniques or suggestions other guys might like to try out? Leave a comment below with your ideas!

You might also like

When you’ve moved on from simply kissing to fun in the bedroom, you might also like to read about turning a girl on, and perhaps some ideas for oral sex and suggestions for satisfying a woman in bed.


+ Add Comment
  1. My very first kiss, and all that followed were terrible. The first time I kissed the guy e went straight to frenchin me, while I wanted was a sweet open mouth kiss. Not to mention it took a whole week for my mind to register anything had happened. Every kiss from him after that was a sloppy dog kiss, and much to aggressive. I never said anything because I wasn’t sure how to. Luckily I’m with someone who knows me and pays attention to what I like. My first kiss with him, is how you dream your very first kiss to be, where the world around you disappears, and it just you two. He’s not the best at French kissing, but since my first incident, I don’t really want to, so it’s good with me we keep it open mouth, or a light sucking of the lip. That really butters my egg roll.

    1. Karen Martinez

      Hi Claire
      Thanks for your comment and for sharing your experience. It sounds like you know what you like and want, which is great. It’s good to be clear about where your boundaries are. But don’t be surprised if guys want to use tongues – it’s pretty much normal for most people these days!

  2. I find that the best kisses are a mix of slow teasing build up and then deeply passionate face sucking…

    1. Ethan Green

      Hi Ray
      Yep, I agree that that’s one fun way to go about kissing. Though I guess it depends on your definition of face sucking!

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. But you can skip the email and use an alternative name if you prefer. I will try to publish your comment and reply within 24 hours.