You may be surprised to hear that most women aren’t looking for the body or staying power of a professional movie star.
In fact, if you can go all night we’re going to think there’s something wrong with us.
The scenes you see in online videos are acting, not real life, and they don’t portray what real women want.
For us, there are other more important aspects of sex than pure staying power. So with that in mind, here are 4 golden rules you should consider if you want her to keep coming back for more.
1) Foreplay begins before you get undressed
If asked, most of us would say that we wanted more foreplay. It often seems to us that men think of foreplay as a warm up to the main event, and try to do as little of it as possible.
This is a mistake when it comes to pleasing a girl in bed because foreplay is one of the most enjoyable aspects of sex for women. Men are able to reach orgasm much more quickly than women, so foreplay gives us time to get to the same point as you.
There are many forms of foreplay, so ask us what feels good if you’re not sure. If we’re not into what you’re doing then try something else; everyone is different and one woman may not like the same moves as another.
It can be slightly off-putting if we think you’re just trying some ‘tricks’ you know pleased previous women, and aren’t paying attention to whether or not we actually like it.
Foreplay for women can start in the morning or afternoon. Anticipation is exciting, so suggest watching a film together or offer to cook. This attention will put us in the right frame of mind and we’ll spend the day thinking about an evening together.
If you can remember to send your partner a text message saying how much you’re looking forward to spending time with her, it will help set the right mood.
In fact, if you begin with her imagination before even attempting to remove articles of clothing, you’re off to a great start.
2) Know where the clitoris is
Let’s move on to the female anatomy. This isn’t a science lesson, but if you don’t know what’s what on the female body and where it’s located, then we’re going to be disappointed with you.
If you want to know how to satisfy a woman in bed properly, you need to know exactly where to focus your attention. We want and expect men to be educated in this respect.
I shouldn’t need to tell you that women usually need clitoral stimulation to climax, and the clitoris isn’t located inside the vagina.
Yes, penetrative sex feels good, but it won’t get us there like it will for a man. A girl needs clitoral stimulation, so don’t be afraid to use your hands or give her oral sex.
It can also come from shifting positions and incorporating different moves. For example, the figure of eight with your hips – just ask your partner what feels good, and keep doing it.
Keep in mind that you shouldn’t shift positions too often. Women need to take their time over a build-up of sensations. It’s fine to experiment and change positions at first, but if you find a position that’s stimulating her in all the right ways, then keep doing exactly the same thing.
Don’t interrupt the steady build to an orgasm just because you think you’ve been in the same position for too long. This really is a key point to remember: variety is great to start with, but not when she’s heading towards a climax.
3) Compliment her
When it comes to feeling confident in the bedroom, we like to be told how great we look, feel, smell and anything else you can think of.
Being naked and having all those bumps and lumps exposed can make us feel self-conscious and stop us from enjoying sex.
There are so many outside pressures to look great, that women carry that ‘body perfect’ pressure into the bedroom.
You can blame movies, television and advertising for some of the inhibitions we have. So it can help if you make an effort to counteract our critical opinions of our own body, and reassure us that we’re amazing just the way we are.
Earlier I mentioned that foreplay begins way before any touching. So keep in mind that if we catch you drooling over images of women with ‘perfect’ bodies, we’ll feel that we can’t live up to those expectations.
So yeah, try not to grow lazy and stop telling us how beautiful and sexy we are.
4) We love communication
Women undoubtedly worry about different things to men and sex is no different. We want you to tell us if something feels good, and praise how we look and feel.
Take your time over foreplay and learn what works for your partner. Communication in the bedroom is paramount. Don’t assume it’s all perfect just because we haven’t complained or demanded something.
You need to ask and talk to us about what we like. You can do this before, during or after sex. There’s no rule about the best time to talk to us about sex.
And you might start something amazing if you develop an open communication about sex between you.
Who knows, you may discover that both of you have been harboring identical secret fantasies. If you don’t talk about it, you’ll never know!
However, although communication is important, never ever ask us if we’ve come yet. If you need to ask, then it probably hasn’t happened.
Not only does this make it evident that you aren’t paying attention, it piles on the pressure to get there, and there’s no passion killer worse than that.
If this all seems like hard work then bear in mind that the more attention you give to your partner, the more she’s going to want to have sex with you. And surely that makes up for the extra attention you might need to start paying.