How To Satisfy A Woman In Bed – 4 Golden Rules

A satisfied woman in bed grabbing the sheets tightlyYou may be surprised to hear that most women aren’t looking for the body or staying power of a professional movie star.

In fact, if you can go all night we’re going to think there’s something wrong with us.

The scenes you see in online videos are acting, not real life, and they don’t portray what real women want.

For us, there are other more important aspects of sex than pure staying power. So with that in mind, here are 4 golden rules you should consider if you want her to keep coming back for more.

1) Foreplay begins before you get undressed

If asked, most of us would say that we wanted more foreplay. It often seems to us that men think of foreplay as a warm up to the main event, and try to do as little of it as possible.

This is a mistake when it comes to pleasing a girl in bed because foreplay is one of the most enjoyable aspects of sex for women. Men are able to reach orgasm much more quickly than women, so foreplay gives us time to get to the same point as you.

There are many forms of foreplay, so ask us what feels good if you’re not sure. If we’re not into what you’re doing then try something else; everyone is different and one woman may not like the same moves as another.

And it may be obvious and off-putting to some women if we think you’re just trying some ‘tricks’ you know pleased previous women, and aren’t paying attention to whether or not we actually like it.

Foreplay for women can start in the morning or afternoon. Anticipation is exciting so suggest watching a film together or offer to cook. This attention will put us in the right frame of mind and we’ll spend the day thinking about an evening together.

If you can remember to send your partner a text message saying how much you’re looking forward to spending time with her, then you’re practically guaranteed a great night.

This type of build up is all foreplay and one of the best ways to turn a woman on. In fact, if you begin with her imagination before even attempting to remove articles of clothing then you’re off to a great start.

2) Know where the clitoris is

diagram showing where the clitoris is

Let’s move on to the female anatomy. This isn’t a science lesson, but if you don’t know what’s what on the female body and where it’s located, then we’re going to be disappointed with you.

If you want to know how to satisfy a woman in bed properly, you need to know exactly where to focus your attention. We want and expect men to be educated in this respect.

Unless you’ve been living in a monastery all your life, I shouldn’t need to tell you that women usually need clitoral stimulation to climax, and the clitoris isn’t located inside the vagina!

Yes, penetrative sex feels good, but it won’t get us there like it will for a man. A girl needs clitoral stimulation, so don’t be afraid to use your hands or give your lady oral sex.

It can also come from shifting positions and incorporating different moves. For example, the figure of eight with your hips – just ask your partner what feels good, and keep doing it.

Keep in mind that you shouldn’t shift positions too often; women need to take their time over a build up of sensations. It’s fine to experiment and change positions at first, but if you find a position that’s stimulating her in all the right ways, then keep doing exactly the same thing.

Don’t rob her of the build-up to an orgasm just because you think you’ve been in the same position for too long. This really is key to satisfying a woman in bed – don’t make her think you’re going to give her an orgasm and then take it all away!

3) Compliment her

a shelf of men's magazines

Make sure you make us feel like we are sexier than the women in your magazines…

When it comes to feeling confident in the bedroom, we really need to be told how great we look, feel, smell and anything else you can think of.

Being naked and having all those bumps and lumps exposed can make us feel self-conscious and stop us from enjoying sex.

There are so many outside pressures to look great that women carry that ‘body perfect’ pressure into the bedroom.

You can blame movies and super-models for any inhibitions we have. We need you to counteract our critical opinions of our own bodies and reassure us that we look good.

Earlier I mentioned that foreplay begins way before any touching, so just keep in mind that if we catch you drooling over perfectly airbrushed women in men’s magazines, we’ll feel that we can’t live up to those expectations.

If you can’t prevent yourself from drooling over those perfect women, then at least tell us they aren’t a patch on us – we won’t believe you, but secretly we’ll feel good, and therefore we’ll want more sex with you.

4) We love communication

woman's sexy boots

If you talk openly about sex and what you like, who knows what fantasies you could explore together…

Women undoubtedly worry about different things to men and sex is no different. We want you to tell us if something feels good, and praise how we look and feel.

Take your time over foreplay and learn what works for your partner. Communication in the bedroom is paramount; don’t assume it’s all perfect just because we haven’t complained or demanded something.

You need to ask and talk to us about what we like. You can do this before, during or after sex. There’s no rule about the best time to talk to us about sex.

And you might start something amazing if you develop an open communication about sex between you.

Who knows, you may discover that both of you have been harboring identical secret fantasies. If you don’t talk about it, you’ll never know!

Oh, and one final tip … although communication is important never ever ask us if we’ve come yet. If you need to ask then it hasn’t happened.

Not only does this make it evident that you aren’t paying attention, it piles on the pressure to get there, and there’s no passion killer worse than that.

If this all seems like hard work then bear in mind that the more attention you give to your partner, the more she is going to want to have sex with you, and surely that makes up for the extra attention you might need to start paying.

You might also like

If you’d like more sex tips, my popular article about oral sex is a good place to start. And of course, it’s always worth brushing up on your foreplay skills.

Do you have problems with ejaculating too soon during sex? It’s a common problem that women do understand, but also expect you to work on.

If this is an issue for you, it’s worth taking a look at our overview of premature ejaculation and ways to last longer in bed.

537 Comments

  • my gf complaint that she’s not always satisfied when we have sex, though i try to carry out deep romance before sex and am capable of going more than 2 rounds. Again she complains she doesn’t feel it when I want to ejaculate. And at times i ejaculate fast. what can I do to solve this problem?please

    • Hi there
      It sounds like there are several things going on here. My advice would be to talk openly with her about what she would like more or less of. There’s nothing better than discussing what you both want, as I could only guess. I don’t know about the complaining she doesn’t feel it thing – many men ejaculate without any clear buildup. But if she likes to know, you could just be more vocal and give her verbal feedback that you’re getting excited and going to ejaculate. Maybe she will like that. About lasting longer – just read around this website as there are lots of great articles about that.

  • Can you give me a straight forward answer on how to make a girl appreciate you in the bed… Thank you very nice.

    • Hi
      Well, perhaps start by being patient, and focusing on her needs and pleasure. Really, that’s one of the best things to do – make sure she is satisfied sexually. Try giving her amazing oral sex before you even think about yourself.

  • Hi,
    My Penis upper skin doesnt go down when it is ready for sex. I get pained but when it is in rest position then skin get down and i can uncover my penis with upler skin. How i can make my pennis uncover when it is ready for sex and i dont feel pain.

  • Hi. i have a girl whom i love most but she has one unique thing that she get into heat very slowly and does not contribute to the bed play. How can i overcome this two case? please assist me!

    • Hi Daniel
      Well, I guess you just need to accept that she takes time, and work on your flirting and foreplay game. Some people are just more passive and like the other to take control. Does she seem to enjoy sex though when she does get going?

  • Hello how are you ? I have a problem my gf when we sex before she moan after she left me for some months and came back to me when I have sex with her now she does not moan again and tell me she knows how to hold pains ..I guess she has been cheating but I don’t mind cause I love her ..but I study this in me when I give her sex before she likes it and even want more but now she says my dick is small I laugh and also when I sex I ejaculate very fast so she complain a lot that she has not cum she want another round before my dick stand up it takes a lot of time that she get so mad she is tired she try all way to make it up but it takes time..pls I neee a good and best answer …and I know am very good in sex so she does not even allow me use the styles I learnt on her cause we don’t have much sex ..

    • Hi Khalifha
      Sorry to hear you’re in this situation. To be honest, it sounds to me like it’s the relationship that needs fixing, not the specific sex problem. Why did she leave? Why did she come back? Why is she being mean to you now, even though she came back? These are questions that I think need answering. It seems to me like she’s not happy, and I think finding out why will help you work out what to do to improve things.

  • Hi I’m 24 years old but I haven’t had sex so far and my girlfriend is also a virgin but now we are about to have sex and I need your advice how to make her satisfied and to take virginity…. sorry for my poor English

    • Hi Anan
      Well, the main thing would be to take it slowly. Let her guide the pace in terms of how comfortable you think she is. Try to relax, make it fun and enjoyable, and not a stressful experience. Have a read of the articles on this site too, and you’ll find lots of useful advice.
      Karen

    • Hi there
      Many women do just take a long time to climax, especially compared to men. It doesn’t dictate whether she’s happy with you or not. Perhaps if she never climaxes, she’ll start to feel less happy though. As long as you enjoy intimacy together, that’s the important thing. If she needs time, don’t pressure her or criticize her. Just be patient and do the things she needs to enjoy sex and climax.

  • Hi guys, i have a problem with my girlfriend always she become wet down there when i just touch her when we in bedroom… And it’s too much wet … Please help

    • Hi there
      It’s natural for a woman to have this natural lubrication. There’s nothing you can do about it other than accept that it’s the way she is, not make her feel bad about it, and understand that it means she’s turned on, which is a good thing for you! If sex becomes messy, or too slippery, you can keep a towel by the bed to dry both of you off from time to time.

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