How To Satisfy A Woman In Bed – 4 Golden Rules

image of a man and woman embracing in bed in an intimate way

You may be surprised to hear that most women aren’t looking for the body or staying power of an adult movie star. And if you can go all night, they might wonder if they turn you on in the right way.

The scenes you see in online videos are acting, not real life, and they don’t portray what real women want.

For most women, there are other more important aspects of sex than pure staying power or penis size. So with that in mind, here are 4 golden rules you should consider if you want her to keep coming back for more.


1. Foreplay begins before you get undressed

If asked, many women would say they wanted more foreplay. And it can feel that men see foreplay as little more than a warm up to the main event, and try to do as little of it as possible.

This is a mistake when it comes to pleasing a woman in bed because foreplay is one of the aspects of sex they enjoy most. Men are able to reach orgasm much more quickly than women, so foreplay gives a women time to get to the same point as you.

There are many forms of foreplay, so ask them what feels good if you’re not sure. If they aren’t into what you’re doing then try something else; everyone is different and one woman may not like the same sexual activities as another.

It can be slightly off-putting if they think you’re just trying some ‘tricks’ you know pleased previous women, and aren’t paying attention to whether or not they actually like it.

Foreplay for women can start in the morning or afternoon. Anticipation is exciting, so suggest watching a film together or offer to cook. This attention will put them in the right frame of mind and they’ll spend the day thinking about an evening together.

If you can remember to send your partner a text message saying how much you’re looking forward to spending time with her, it will help set the right mood.

In fact, if you begin with her imagination before even attempting to remove articles of clothing, you’re off to a great start.


2. Know where the clitoris is

diagram showing where the clitoris is

Let’s move on to the female anatomy. This isn’t a science lesson, but if you don’t know what’s what on the female body and where it’s located, it will soon become clear that you’re fumbling in the dark.

If you want to know how you can really satisfy a woman in bed, you also need to know exactly where to focus your attention. They want and expect men to be educated in this respect.

A crucial thing to remember is that many women need clitoral stimulation to climax – and the clitoris isn’t located inside the vagina.

Yes, penetrative sex feels good, but it often won’t get them there like it will for a man. A woman needs clitoral stimulation, so don’t be afraid to use your fingers to stimulate her or give her oral sex.

It can also come from shifting positions and incorporating different movements – for example, the figure of eight with your hips. It’s fine to ask your partner which positions feel best, and make sure you spend plenty of time doing them.

Keep in mind that you shouldn’t keep shifting positions once she’s extremely aroused. Women need to take their time over a build-up of sensations. It’s fine to experiment and change positions at first, but if you find a position that’s stimulating her in all the right ways, stick with it.

Don’t interrupt the steady build to an orgasm just because you think you’ve been in the same position for too long. This really is a key point to remember: variety is great to start with, but not when she’s heading towards a climax.


3. Compliment her

man whispering a compliment in a woman's ear

When it comes to feeling confident in the bedroom, people like to be told how great they look, feel, smell and anything else you can think of.

Being naked and having all those bumps and lumps exposed can make them feel self-conscious and stop them from enjoying sex.

There are so many outside pressures to look great, that women carry that ‘body perfect’ pressure into the bedroom.

You can blame movies, television and advertising for some of the inhibitions they have. So it help if you make an effort to counteract their critical opinions of their body, and reassure them that they are amazing just the way they are.

And keep in mind that if they catch you drooling over images of women with ‘perfect’ bodies, they might feel that they can’t live up to those expectations.

So try not to grow lazy over time. Never stop telling them how beautiful, sexy and just downright awesome they are.


4. Women love communication

man and woman talking in bed

Women undoubtedly worry about different things to men and sex is no different. They want you to let them know when something feels good, as well as praise how they look and feel.

Take your time over foreplay and learn what works for your partner. Communication in the bedroom is paramount. Don’t assume it’s all perfect just because they haven’t complained or demanded something.

It’s great if you can find out directly from her what she likes, and talk about what you like to. You can do this before, during or after sex. There’s no rule about the best time to talk about sex.

And you might start something amazing if you develop an open communication about sex. Who knows, you may discover that both of you have been harboring identical secret fantasies.

However, although communication is important, never ever ask them if they’ve come yet. If you need to ask, there’s a good chance it didn’t happen.

Not only does this make it evident that you aren’t paying attention, it piles on the pressure to get there, and there’s no passion killer worse than that.

If this all seems like hard work then bear in mind that the more attention you give to your partner, the more she’s going to want to have sex with you. And surely that makes up for the extra attention you might need to start paying.


You might also like

If you’d like more sex tips, my popular article about oral sex is a good place to start. You might also like to check out some ideas for building your partner’s arousal.

426 thoughts on “How To Satisfy A Woman In Bed – 4 Golden Rules”

  1. sello xavela

    good article indeed – i believe it will help me and my wife to have very good sex…

  2. Anonymous

    I love your articles and website overall and learned a lot here. Thanks:-)

  3. Please help me I have a problem of shyness and I fear to approach ladies so what can I do? Am 23yrs old

    1. Hi James
      If you look online, you’ll find tons of good articles written about overcoming shyness. You can find both psychological websites and also guys writing about picking up women.
      Some quick tips that I’ve heard before and like are:
      1. Pretend to be confident.
      2. Get used to talking to people more often. Talk to everyone and anyone – in shops, cafes, the street. Make yourself talk to strangers in harmless situations, and it will help your overall ability to approach women.
      3. Improve your physical condition. Go to the gym, eat well and dress well. If you feel good about yourself, it will help your confidence.
      These are just some simple tips, though take some effort of course! Have a look online though and you’ll find lots more.
      Ethan

  4. My name is James am 23yrs old I have 1 testicle – another one didn’t grow. when I went to the hospital they told me to go for surgery but I felt scared I cos I thought that I remain with one testicle I will not be able to produce but this abnormal test pains me sometimes whenever I lift heavy load, so what can I do cos I have never had sex?

    1. Hi James
      I can completely understand your concern – I also had problems with an descended testicle when I was younger. I think you really need to speak to the doctor again. Believe me, if you have any problems with your testicles or penis, especially pain, then you need medical advice. And one testicle can work absolutely fine and you can still reproduce if it’s a healthy testicle. I know it’s scary, but try to go past that fear and speak to the doctor again.
      Ethan

  5. isaac nonde

    Hi am 25 years of age, my cream doesn’t come out as I expect it to come out it comes out alittle more especiall 2+ round help how can I work on my sperms for it to be a lot when coming out

    1. Hi again Issac
      There’s not real need to increase the quantity of sperm you produce, and it’s not an easy thing to do anyway. The best advice is just to stay fit and healthy, eat well and stay hydrated.
      Ethan

  6. isaac nonde

    Hi am 25 years of age and I have a problem of masterbation I love it so much now help does it have any effect on the reproduction part or on enjoying sex with gf

    1. Hi Isaac
      No, it won’t affect your ability to have children. As for enjoying sex with your girlfriend, that’s a more complicated question. In general, most men find they can masturbate and have a good sex life. Where it becomes a problem in some cases is if for example you watch a lot of porn, then find you can’t enjoy sex as much with your partner because it’s not the same as the porn. So my advice is to limit how much porn you watch, and when you masturbate, fantisize about your partner at least some of the time if you don’t already.
      Ethan

  7. Hi. I’m Ambu. 25yrs old. my problem is when my wife sucks my penis, urine comes out. Nowadays she is not happy due to this problem. What to do pls help me.

    1. Hi Ambu
      I think you should speak to a doctor about this. They should be able to find out why this is happening. Until then, it’s probably better not to engage in oral sex.
      Ethan

  8. Hello, my name is kola my girlfriend complains am not good at romance and likewise sex aspect. pls how can i satisfy her romantically and sexually?

    1. Hi Kola
      You could try taking your girlfriend on some interesting and romantic dates! In terms of sex, well, that’s something you can improve through trying the ideas in this article and others on this website. I think these days there’s so much available on the internet helping people improve their sex lives, all you need is some time and effort to research, and then the commitment to trying new things with your partner. So, don’t take it as an insult but as an opportunity to challenge yourself and become better at something.
      Ethan

  9. i am 24 years old am dating a woman older than me like she is 36 if am not wrong so can i satisfy her in bed? i have a big enough penis and I masturbate watching movies so will my sex life with her work???? we haven’t started having sex

    1. Hi Cross
      Yes, I’m sure you’ll be fine! The age difference doesn’t mean you can’t have great sex. So relax, and enjoy it when the moment arrives!
      Ethan

  10. Goefrey Musa

    Hi my name is Geoffrey my penis is small how could I increase it in size?

    1. Hi Geoffrey
      I think the best thing to do is to take a look at my main article about penis enlargement methods. I cover all the main techniques there, as well as giving advice about what the average penis size actually is, and how you can make it look bigger without buying any products. It’s a good place to start off!
      Ethan

  11. Hi I need help because every time I go to penetrate my wife it seems that I ejaculate as soon as I enter her

    1. Hi billy
      It seems that you need to take some steps to deal with the premature ejaculation you have. There’s lots of advice on this website about this – just take a look around and you’ll find out about the different options you have. You can start at the homepage if you’re not sure where to go first.
      Ethan

  12. lukers j.k.

    hi i am lukers (zambia) and am 23. I have a problem like ejaculating fast b4 she reaches her orgasm whenever we’ve sex with my gf

    1. Hi Lukers
      It’s good that you’ve recognised it’s a problem – that’s the most important step! If you take a look around this website, you’ll find lots of ideas to help you last longer.
      Ethan

  13. I have a question. My girlfriend who i live with had a partial hysterectomy. Now she has no sex drive at alll. It has really put stress on me in the last year. Any sugestions

    1. Hi Shannon
      I understand how difficult this can be. Have you spoken about the cause – is it due to a lack of hormones? And if so, is there talk of hormone replacement therapy? That’s often a key way to bring back libido after these kind of surgeries as far as I’m aware. But at the end of the day, it’s such a delicate situation, the best thing is to try to be understanding and patient, whilst looking for solutions together that you’re both comfortable with.
      Ethan

  14. Hi I am Kiko, My wife doesn’t want a oral sex, what would be a good suggestion ?sometime she wanted to go on top directly just to make it fast and sometimes she likes a simple foreplay but only on her clitoris, please give me some advice to satisfy her.

    Thank you!

    1. Hi Kiki
      There could be many reasons for this, but I wonder if she feels uncomfortable or shy for some reason. Perhaps ask her directly about this. And put effort into making her feel relaxed, and make her feel like she is sexy and beautiful and that her body is amazing in every way for you! If you can help her relax and feel good, maybe little by little she will allow you to do more. But it may also be that she just doesn’t like oral sex!
      Ethan

  15. anonymous

    hi I am a 22 year old girl and whenever I have sex with my guy my vagina becomes dry and itchy after having sex. what is the problem?

    1. Hi there
      To be honest, I’m not an expert on vaginal dryness! If you look around online, you’ll find women’s websites with much better information about your question. My only suggestion would be to use lubricant with your man…
      Ethan

  16. Hi, im a 47 year old man and im having a problem with the length of my penis. Ive seen plenty of tail in my young days but the more and more i grow old i see that my penis is shrinking! I hate to see my masterpiece lose its luck. Is there anything i could do to fix it?

    1. Hi John
      Is it shrinking when flaccid, or just the erection size? Have you done any things which can make it appear smaller, such as growing more hair down there, or putting on weight?
      Ethan

  17. Hi , my name is Alan when my gf gives me a bj I don’t get any pleasure from it. Is this common or is it just me?

    1. Hi Alan
      It might be that she’s just not doing it in the best way possible for you. Have you had previous experiences when you enjoyed it more? Or do you think she could improve the technique? If you can speak openly about what works best for you, you might find she appreciates the tips.
      Ethan

  18. Hi, am Jeff. During the first round of having sex, my penis erects well but after ejaculation the second round takes very long time like 3 hours to erect again. What might be the problem.? Please help.

    1. Hi Jeff
      Some guys do take that long, or even longer to be able to go again. Maybe if you keep fit and healthy you’ll find you can get erect again sooner. Otherwise, the best thing is to accept that that’s the way your body is! And finally, there are always supplements and medications you can take if it continues to be a problem.
      Ethan

  19. Hi, Recently my girlfriend went to Florida and got involved with another man at my age (25). She said that man is romantic and he does everything such as oral sex so she prefer to stay with him. She said that the man is gentle and I am not plus I don’t do oral sex. She says all i want to do is rough sex but i don’t see it that way. She is back in Jamaica now but she is avoiding me. People condemn oral sex both men and women so if they find out that anyone does it there will be a problem. On the other hand some people are up for it. I still love her so what can I do to win her back because I told her I will do anything but that didn’t work.

    1. Hi Adam
      Tough question! Unfortunately, if she’s already made that decision, then the best thing might be to accept it, let her go and move on. But if she’s willing to meet and talk, you’ll just have to see what happens. Personally though, if someone got involved with another guy when they were with me, I would move on.
      Ethan

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