For women, sex tends to be more of a whole body and mind experience. So to turn her on, you need more than just a purely physical approach.
That means that having the right looks, body or technique in bed will only get you so far. So let’s take a look at some great ways to help build your partner’s arousal – and it all starts before you jump into bed.
1. Flatter her
It’s a safe assumption that you find her attractive, so tell her! There’s no point keeping those compliments to yourself. Be genuine and honest, of course, but don’t be afraid of flattering her.
Women need to feel attractive to be turned on, and your well-timed positive words will help with that. Tell her how beautiful she is, how much you love her outfit, how soft her skin is, how stylish, cool, funny or smart she is – anything you like (as long as it’s true).
Make her feel attractive and that self-confidence boost will help turn her on. Think of all this as good foreplay, which can start as early in the day as your first words or message.
2. Be yourself
Don’t reinvent yourself in an attempt to become the kind of man you think she wants. Be yourself, be genuine. If she’s attracted to you, simply being you should be enchanting enough.
Be confident in who you are. And you’ll find your confidence grows even more as she responds well to you. A perfect win-win situation.
3. Use positive body language
With positive body language, you can turn her on without even opening your mouth. This begins with the above-mentioned confidence – even just literally standing tall helps you look confident.
But this also works in other ways. Looking into her eyes when she’s talking, leaning slightly towards her when you’re talking. Even an occasional touch (when it seems natural) can help. Gently touching her arm to bring her attention to something, for example.
In addition, try glancing at her lips occasionally. This sends the unconscious signal that you want to kiss her, and if she feels the same way, it’ll be a definite turn on.
4. Show interest and good conversation
Body language will only get you so far. It’s a bit of a cliché, but as a general
That doesn’t mean you have to be as smooth as James Bond (who is?!). But do communicate. If you’ve just met, find out what interests her and show interest when she talks about those things.
Maybe even do a little background research on the topics she’s seems passionate about so you have more to talk about next time you meet. Being made to feel heard and valued is sexy.
Talking about sex
When it comes to talking about sex, approach it casually if the subject comes up. Just don’t talk about it all the time or your one-track mind might be off-putting.
Flirty text messages can help get her in the right state of mind as well. Try something like “I can’t stop thinking about you.” Nothing too explicit, but enough to plant the idea that she’s on your mind.
As you get to know her, you might find that there’s more innuendo in your conversation, indicating that sex is on her mind. Again though, don’t push things too far and don’t be too explicit.
Since sex is such a mental thing for women, the anticipation can be just as exciting as the reality. This conversation stage, getting to know each other, can be just as much of a turn on as touching, so don’t rush things. Decent conversation is a lot like foreplay for a lot of women, so don’t ignore it.
5. Touch her
I mentioned casual touching in conversation, but this deserves a point of its own. Brushing her arm, touching her to make a point, and random contact can be very exciting.
You’re planting the idea that you want to be physically close, and this is a big turn on. Everything in moderation though. Don’t constantly touch her – let her anticipate your hands.
Once casual touching has been introduced and you’re both comfortable, you might want to think about more deliberate actions. Tuck her hair behind her ear, brush some lint off her shirt. These kind of movements take things a step further.
Steer clear of deliberately touching the erogenous zones (breasts, neck, etc.) until sex is definitely on the cards though. These areas are risky and can make a woman feel uncomfortable unless you’re already kissing and on your way to the next stage.
6. Be observant of her signals
Women give plenty of signals – whether or not you receive them depends on how much attention you’re paying. If she touches you, for example, that’s a fairly clear signal that she’d be comfortable with you touching her too.
Don’t rush, be patient, and don’t feel that you always have to lead the way. Do pick up on her signals though. And if in doubt, don’t be afraid to ask. “Can I kiss you?” is fine to ask.
If you observe her signals and are patient then she’ll continue getting more and more turned on until she’s ready to kick things up a notch.
7. Create the right atmosphere
For some women, a sweaty, energetic dance club is the perfect setting for flirty fun. For others, candles and flowers at home are the perfect
If there’s a chance you’re heading to the bedroom, make sure that everything is set up beforehand. Keep it clean and tidy, with fresh bedding. Details, but important details that will help build arousal.
8. Be aware of what doesn’t turn her on
You can work hard getting to the point where a woman is aroused and ready for sex, but you can ruin all that good work if you do something wrong. So what shouldn’t you do?
- Don’t lie: she will sense if you’re genuine or not.
- Don’t pressure her: no means no.
- Don’t be rude or explicit unless she’s into that kind of humour or dirty talk: even if you think you’re joking, she might just be offended.
- Don’t rush things: the build-up and anticipation
- Don’t neglect personal grooming: no matter how excited she is, if you turn out to smell bad or be dirty, she’ll instantly be turned off again.
The reward for your effort
It’s no secret that many women have a harder time of reaching orgasm than men. Hopefully, putting some effort into building her arousal and excitement, both mental and physical, will stand you in good stead to bring her to climax. Then both you and she will be rewarded for your thoughtfulness and effort.
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Check out these simple and free fun sex games for partners. Playing sex games together is a great way to build even more excitement and explore new avenues of pleasure together.
What’s the secret to building arousal and turning a woman on? Let me know your ideas below!