Masturbation is one of those things that most people do at some point, very few talk about openly, and even less explain how to do.
The reality is that it’s a normal, healthy activity that most people discover through personal exploration. So the best way to masturbate is arguably whatever feels pleasurable and natural to you.
Having said that, there are many different and enjoyable ways to do it. So in this article, you’ll find out how to do the basics, followed by more advanced techniques for those looking for new and exciting ways to do it.
I’ll also explain how you can use your masturbation time to improve your sexual stamina. By masturbating in a particular way, you can significantly improve your endurance in the bedroom, which is a great skill to have.
Part 1: polls
Part 2: basic masturbation techniques
Part 3: advanced masturbation techniques
Part 3: sex toys for a more realistic experience
Part 4: sexual stamina
Part 1: polls
In 2017 we ran some polls to find out what the world gets up to behind closed doors. More than 10,000 readers voted, so the results provide a great insight into masturbation and how people do it.
Do you think it’s ok to masturbate?
If you’re not sure if it’s right to masturbate, perhaps the results of this poll will help you relax about it. Admittedly, there won’t be many people who disagree with it reading this article in the first place. But the overwhelming view that it’s ok to do is still interesting to note.
How often do you masturbate?
The most popular answer to the question of masturbation frequency is ‘most days’, followed closely by ‘every day’.
How do you usually masturbate?
It didn’t come as much of a surprise that the most common way to masturbate is using a hand while watching porn. But the poll does shows there’s some variety in the way men do it.
Do you own a sex toy?
Just 18% of the voters already own some kind of sex toy. However, 55% of readers don’t own one yet, but would like one.
- The best sex toys for men
- Penis size facts and enlargement techniques
- How to last longer in bed – my top methods
Part 2: basic masturbation techniques
The basic one-handed technique
The most common way to masturbate is the basic one-handed technique. To start, grip your penis lightly in one hand, with your fingers underneath and thumb on top.
Then all you need to do then is move your hand up and down the shaft in a fairly constant rhythm. Unless you use lubricant, you might find the same area of skin stays in your grip as you move your hand up and down the shaft, and that’s fine.
It can feel very different depending on how fast you go, the rhythm you choose, how hard you grip and whether you squeeze more or less at different points.
There isn’t really a right or wrong way to do it, so it’s fun to experiment with different finger positions, speeds and changes in pressure and squeezing until you find a way that feels best.
Some people like to start very slowly, building up steadily to a faster climax; others like to go slow the whole time. And it’s also interesting to speed up and slow down several times in a session (more on that later).
If you like, you can pull your foreskin back and include the penis head in the up and down movement. If you find the exposed head too sensitive though, try using some lubricant.
Using both hands
Although it’s tempting to always use your strong hand to masturbate, it can be pleasurable to use your other hand too, for example:
- Sometimes only use your other hand when masturbating.
- Try using both hands at the same time. If you can fit them side by side on your shaft, lucky you and your future partner! If like most mortal men you can’t though, try squeezing your penis between your palms and experimenting with a stroking action.
- Use one hand to move up and down the shaft, while the other plays with the penis head, for example doing a gentle circular motion with the palm.
Don’t leave your balls hanging
Remember the last time you got hit hard in your balls, collapsing to the floor with that agonizing nauseous feeling, while everyone else stood around laughing at you?
Yes, your balls are very, very sensitive.
The positive side to that sensitivity is that they are also an erogenous zone, which you can use to heighten your pleasure and orgasms. Try these ideas:
- Gently pull on them with your other hand while masturbating.
- Experiment with different stroking motions across them to see what feels good.
- Simply hold them gently in a light grip with the other hand.
There’s also an important health reason to get to know how your testicles feel. If you know what they feel like normally, you’ll be quicker to spot any unusual lumps or growths – something you should keep a check on during your life.
Find your other erogenous zones
Try slowly caressing the inside of your thighs and your stomach. Some men even find their nipples are very sensitive, so try touching and stroking them to see how it feels.
And if there’s anywhere else on your body that feels good to touch, don’t be afraid to enjoy exploring the different sensations that arise.
Maybe you won’t find anywhere that does it for you, and that’s totally fine. But there’s no harm in experimenting a little at least once.
Experiment with different positions
Instead of always masturbating in the same place and position, changing them from time to time can also give different sensations. Try these:
- If you always sit, try lying down, kneeling and standing instead.
- If you always keep your body still while stroking your penis, try keeping your hand still and thrusting into it with your body.
- Lie on your front on the bed, with your penis in one hand underneath your body. Arrange some pillows under you, and then thrust into your hand.
Part 3: Advanced masturbation techniques
The male G-spot
The male G-spot is an area which is particularly sensitive to touch, so stimulating it the right way can feel very intense and lead to heightened orgasms.
If you’re relatively new to masturbation, finding out where your G-spot is located can be a bit of a surprise though.
It’s hidden away inside your body – specifically inside the prostate gland, about the size of a large nut, and under your bladder.
Somewhat inconveniently, the only way to properly reach it is through the back door. But for those that find the idea of crossing that threshold a step too far, you can also try to stimulate it from the outside.
To stimulate your G-spot externally, try massaging the perineum. That’s the soft, padded part of the body between your balls and anus. It’s quite a sensitive area to touch, and if you gently massage it and push slightly inwards, you can just about target your G-spot.
It’s not the same as directly touching it, of course, but you might find it gives you an idea of what the fuss is all about in a way that’s a bit more accessible.
Porn or imagination and fantasy?
Access to porn has never been easier, thanks to modern devices and the open nature of the internet. But is it good to watch porn when masturbating?
It’s a question which sparks endlessly fierce debate in the sex advice world, with strong arguments for and against porn.
A growing number of experts say it presents an unrealistic image of what sex is really like. And can even lead to men having problems like erectile dysfunction when real life sex doesn’t match the hardcore nature of what turns them on online.
My personal view is that a little porn is probably ok from time to time. Just don’t rely on it to get turned on, and don’t watch it every time you masturbate. Try watching erotica rather than only hardcore stuff, and avoid porn that you know is completely unrealistic.
So when you don’t watch porn, what can you do?
Try just using your imagination and fantasizing instead. You can go slow and erotic, or hot and steamy. It’s up to you to experiment and see how much pleasure you can create using nothing but your own body and mind.
Edging – riding the wave of orgasmic arousal
Edging is all about extending how long you masturbate for and building up to a more intense climax.
The idea is to repeatedly get close to orgasm but not actually allow yourself to finish, instead carefully reducing how much pleasure you experience for a while.
It’s very similar to the stop and start technique (see below) and can also be used to help develop your sexual stamina. But whereas that technique involves stopping, edging is more about keeping going by ‘surfing’ the wave of arousal.
The simple way is to masturbate normally until you get close to climax, and then slow right down so you don’t actually ejaculate. By varying your speed, pressure and rhythm, you can learn to control your arousal.
In time you can learn to maintain a high level of arousal, meaning optimum pleasure for the longest possible time. And of course, you’ll have a much more intense orgasm when you finally take your foot of the brake and allow yourself to climax.
Part 4: sex toys for a more realistic experience
The best way to masturbate is with a realistic vagina
Arguably the best of all is the Fleshlight realistic vagina. It’s made from a silky soft silicon material, with contours and ribs that stimulate you in all the right ways.
As well as the wide range of different shaped vagina models, you can can also find mouth and butt sleeves, and some modeled on real porn stars.
If you feel like expanding your repertoire of self-pleasure techniques, you’re very likely to find this is the best way to masturbate.
The slippery joys of lubricant
Whether you’re using a masturbation toy or just your hands, lubricant adds an extra element of pleasure, and also helps prevent friction – especially on the more sensitive penis head.
You can find lubricant in most pharmacies, supermarkets, sex shops and online stores. If you can’t, it’s fine to use a non-chemical, gentle moisturizer.
There are many great sex toys to try, either alone or in combination with the techniques in this article. Cock rings are perhaps one of the simplest to try out, yet can can be surprisingly effective.
You can find simple rings that sit around the base of your penis, some with a double ring that fits around your penis and balls. And there are vibrating versions which will literally give you an added buzz during masturbation.
Part 4: increase your sexual stamina
Some guys get into the habit of masturbating as quickly as possible. It’s understandable, because doing it quickly feels great, and it reduces the chance of someone catching you.
While it’s fine to have a quickie sometimes, you don’t want to condition yourself to always finish in lightning speed when you have sex too.
The main way to avoid this happening is to simply take it slower, relax and enjoy your masturbation time rather than rushing it.
But let’s also take a look at 2 specific techniques you can practice to build your sexual stamina.
The stop and start method
A simple technique for developing better control is the stop and start method. You can practice this if you usually finish in just a few minutes, or even if you last longer but want to increase your time.
The simple version is that you set yourself a time (10-20 minutes is good) and don’t allow yourself to ejaculate until that time is up.
Every time you feel like you’re about to orgasm, stop and do nothing for 30 seconds, and then carry on. You might need to stop several times before reaching your target time, and that’s fine. You’ll get better with practice.
This is a great way to masturbate for 2 reasons: you’re working on a useful skill for sex, and pretty much guaranteed a more powerful orgasm when you finally let yourself finish.
Breathe and relax
Breathing slowly and deeply, while keeping your body relaxed, is a useful skill to learn when masturbating.
The reason being that when you have sex with a partner, tensing your body and breathing fast are signs that you’re very aroused. And the more aroused you are, the sooner you’ll orgasm.
So when you masturbate, try to keep your body relaxed, and focus on your breathing at least some of the time. Breathe in slowly for the count of 4, hold it for 2 seconds, then breathe out for 4 seconds. Repeat that rhythm for a few minutes and see if it helps you feel more in control.
The final word
The key to great masturbation is to experiment and find out what really works for you. Try to be open-minded, but if there are things that just don’t appeal or do it for you, don’t worry about it!
There are two ideas in this article that I recommend above all others. First, take your time when masturbating and don’t rush it.
Second, whether it’s purely for pleasure or for working on your sexual stamina, I highly recommend trying a fleshlight realistic vagina.
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If you’re worried about your lasting time during sex, you might find it helpful to check out my recommended sexual stamina guides for even more techniques to last longer.
And a lot of readers have asked about their penis size in the comments, and what they can do to make it bigger. So if you’re worried about that, have a look at the main article about penis enlargement.