The Best Way To Masturbate – 20 Awesome Techniques

do not disturb while masturbating signMasturbation is one of those things that most people do at some point, very few talk about openly, and even less explain how to do.

The reality is that it’s a normal, healthy activity that most people discover through personal exploration. So the best way to masturbate is arguably whatever feels pleasurable and natural to you.

Having said that, there are many different and enjoyable ways to do it. So in this article, you’ll find out how to do the basics, followed by more advanced techniques for those looking for new and exciting ways to do it.

I’ll also explain how you can use your masturbation time to improve your sexual stamina. By masturbating in a particular way, you can significantly improve your endurance in the bedroom, which is a great skill to have.


Part 1: polls

Part 2: basic masturbation techniques

Part 3: advanced masturbation techniques

Part 3: sex toys for a more realistic experience

Part 4: sexual stamina

Part 1: polls

In 2017 we ran some polls to find out what the world gets up to behind closed doors. More than 10,000 readers voted, so the results provide a great insight into masturbation and how people do it.

Do you think it’s ok to masturbate?

If you’re not sure if it’s right to masturbate, perhaps the results of this poll will help you relax about it. Admittedly, there won’t be many people who disagree with it reading this article in the first place. But the overwhelming view that it’s ok to do is still interesting to note.

chart showing results of poll about masturbation being ok or not

How often do you masturbate?

The most popular answer to the question of masturbation frequency is ‘most days’, followed closely by ‘every day’.

chart showing the results of the survey of how often people masturbate

How do you usually masturbate?

It didn’t come as much of a surprise that the most common way to masturbate is using a hand while watching porn. But the poll does shows there’s some variety in the way men do it.

diagram of the results of the poll about the usual way to masturbate

Do you own a sex toy?

Just 18% of the voters already own some kind of sex toy. However, 55% of readers don’t own one yet, but would like one.

chart with the results of the poll about owning a sex toy

Related articles

Part 2: basic masturbation techniques

The basic one-handed technique

masturbation quote from louis c.k.The most common way to masturbate is the basic one-handed technique. To start, grip your penis lightly in one hand, with your fingers underneath and thumb on top.

Then all you need to do then is move your hand up and down the shaft in a fairly constant rhythm. Unless you use lubricant, you might find the same area of skin stays in your grip as you move your hand up and down the shaft, and that’s fine.

It can feel very different depending on how fast you go, the rhythm you choose, how hard you grip and whether you squeeze more or less at different points.

There isn’t really a right or wrong way to do it, so it’s fun to experiment with different finger positions, speeds and changes in pressure and squeezing until you find a way that feels best.

Some people like to start very slowly, building up steadily to a faster climax; others like to go slow the whole time. And it’s also interesting to speed up and slow down several times in a session (more on that later).

If you like, you can pull your foreskin back and include the penis head in the up and down movement. If you find the exposed head too sensitive though, try using some lubricant.

Using both hands

Although it’s tempting to always use your strong hand to masturbate, it can be pleasurable to use your other hand too, for example:

  • Sometimes only use your other hand when masturbating.
  • Try using both hands at the same time. If you can fit them side by side on your shaft, lucky you and your future partner! If like most mortal men you can’t though, try squeezing your penis between your palms and experimenting with a stroking action.
  • Use one hand to move up and down the shaft, while the other plays with the penis head, for example doing a gentle circular motion with the palm.

Don’t leave your balls hanging

image of a man's hand playing with 2 ballsRemember the last time you got hit hard in your balls, collapsing to the floor with that agonizing nauseous feeling, while everyone else stood around laughing at you?

Yes, your balls are very, very sensitive.

The positive side to that sensitivity is that they are also an erogenous zone, which you can use to heighten your pleasure and orgasms. Try these ideas:

  • Gently pull on them with your other hand while masturbating.
  • Experiment with different stroking motions across them to see what feels good.
  • Simply hold them gently in a light grip with the other hand.

There’s also an important health reason to get to know how your testicles feel. If you know what they feel like normally, you’ll be quicker to spot any unusual lumps or growths – something you should keep a check on during your life.

Find your other erogenous zones

diagram of the male and female erogenous zonesIt’s a popular belief that only women have multiple erogenous zones. And while it’s true that they do have more sensitive areas than men, your body is still more sensitive than you might think.

Try slowly caressing the inside of your thighs and your stomach. Some men even find their nipples are very sensitive, so try touching and stroking them to see how it feels.

And if there’s anywhere else on your body that feels good to touch, don’t be afraid to enjoy exploring the different sensations that arise.

Maybe you won’t find anywhere that does it for you, and that’s totally fine. But there’s no harm in experimenting a little at least once.

Experiment with different positions

Instead of always masturbating in the same place and position, changing them from time to time can also give different sensations. Try these:

  • If you always sit, try lying down, kneeling and standing instead.
  • If you always keep your body still while stroking your penis, try keeping your hand still and thrusting into it with your body.
  • Lie on your front on the bed, with your penis in one hand underneath your body. Arrange some pillows under you, and then thrust into your hand.

Part 3: Advanced masturbation techniques

The male G-spot

image showing an explosion

The male G-spot is an area which is particularly sensitive to touch, so stimulating it the right way can feel very intense and lead to heightened orgasms.

If you’re relatively new to masturbation, finding out where your G-spot is located can be a bit of a surprise though.

It’s hidden away inside your body – specifically inside the prostate gland, about the size of a large nut, and under your bladder.

Somewhat inconveniently, the only way to properly reach it is through the back door. But for those that find the idea of crossing that threshold a step too far, you can also try to stimulate it from the outside.

To stimulate your G-spot externally, try massaging the perineum. That’s the soft, padded part of the body between your balls and anus. It’s quite a sensitive area to touch, and if you gently massage it and push slightly inwards, you can just about target your G-spot.

It’s not the same as directly touching it, of course, but you might find it gives you an idea of what the fuss is all about in a way that’s a bit more accessible.

Porn or imagination and fantasy?

image of an elegant and sexy fantasy womanAccess to porn has never been easier, thanks to modern devices and the open nature of the internet. But is it good to watch porn when masturbating?

It’s a question which sparks endlessly fierce debate in the sex advice world, with strong arguments for and against porn.

A growing number of experts say it presents an unrealistic image of what sex is really like. And can even lead to men having problems like erectile dysfunction when real life sex doesn’t match the hardcore nature of what turns them on online.

My personal view is that a little porn is probably ok from time to time. Just don’t rely on it to get turned on, and don’t watch it every time you masturbate. Try watching erotica rather than only hardcore stuff, and avoid porn that you know is completely unrealistic.

So when you don’t watch porn, what can you do?

Try just using your imagination and fantasizing instead. You can go slow and erotic, or hot and steamy. It’s up to you to experiment and see how much pleasure you can create using nothing but your own body and mind.

Edging – riding the wave of orgasmic arousal

image of a surfer to represent the concept of riding the wave of orgasmEdging is all about extending how long you masturbate for and building up to a more intense climax.

The idea is to repeatedly get close to orgasm but not actually allow yourself to finish, instead carefully reducing how much pleasure you experience for a while.

It’s very similar to the stop and start technique (see below) and can also be used to help develop your sexual stamina. But whereas that technique involves stopping, edging is more about keeping going by ‘surfing’ the wave of arousal.

The simple way is to masturbate normally until you get close to climax, and then slow right down so you don’t actually ejaculate. By varying your speed, pressure and rhythm, you can learn to control your arousal.

In time you can learn to maintain a high level of arousal, meaning optimum pleasure for the longest possible time. And of course, you’ll have a much more intense orgasm when you finally take your foot of the brake and allow yourself to climax.

Part 4: sex toys for a more realistic experience

The best way to masturbate is with a realistic vagina

photo of my fleshligh stamina training unitThere’s a whole world of great sex toys for guys who want to recreate the real deal in the privacy of their bedroom.

Arguably the best of all is the Fleshlight realistic vagina. It’s made from a silky soft silicon material, with contours and ribs that stimulate you in all the right ways.

As well as the wide range of different shaped vagina models, you can can also find mouth and butt sleeves, and some modeled on real porn stars.

photo of my fleshlight shower mount in the bathroomAnd for the truly adventurous, there are some fun extras like the hands free shower attachment and vibrating versions.

If you feel like expanding your repertoire of self-pleasure techniques, you’re very likely to find this is the best way to masturbate.

Check out the fleshlight realistic vagina >>

The slippery joys of lubricant

lubricantFor the same reason you might use a realistic vagina for masturbation, lubricant can also boost the pleasure factor, and help get you one step closer to the sensations arising during sex.

Whether you’re using a masturbation toy or just your hands, lubricant adds an extra element of pleasure, and also helps prevent friction – especially on the more sensitive penis head.

You can find lubricant in most pharmacies, supermarkets, sex shops and online stores. If you can’t, it’s fine to use a non-chemical, gentle moisturizer.

Cock rings

cock ringThere are many great sex toys to try, either alone or in combination with the techniques in this article. Cock rings are perhaps one of the simplest to try out, yet can can be surprisingly effective.

You can find simple rings that sit around the base of your penis, some with a double ring that fits around your penis and balls. And there are vibrating versions which will literally give you an added buzz during masturbation.

Part 4: increase your sexual stamina

Some guys get into the habit of masturbating as quickly as possible. It’s understandable, because doing it quickly feels great, and it reduces the chance of someone catching you.

While it’s fine to have a quickie sometimes, you don’t want to condition yourself to always finish in lightning speed when you have sex too.

The main way to avoid this happening is to simply take it slower, relax and enjoy your masturbation time rather than rushing it.

But let’s also take a look at 2 specific techniques you can practice to build your sexual stamina.

The stop and start method

start and stop image

A simple technique for developing better control is the stop and start method. You can practice this if you usually finish in just a few minutes, or even if you last longer but want to increase your time.

The simple version is that you set yourself a time (10-20 minutes is good) and don’t allow yourself to ejaculate until that time is up.

Every time you feel like you’re about to orgasm, stop and do nothing for 30 seconds, and then carry on. You might need to stop several times before reaching your target time, and that’s fine. You’ll get better with practice.

This is a great way to masturbate for 2 reasons: you’re working on a useful skill for sex, and pretty much guaranteed a more powerful orgasm when you finally let yourself finish.

Breathe and relax

image of a note reminding self to breathe during masturbationBreathing slowly and deeply, while keeping your body relaxed, is a useful skill to learn when masturbating.

The reason being that when you have sex with a partner, tensing your body and breathing fast are signs that you’re very aroused. And the more aroused you are, the sooner you’ll orgasm.

So when you masturbate, try to keep your body relaxed, and focus on your breathing at least some of the time. Breathe in slowly for the count of 4, hold it for 2 seconds, then breathe out for 4 seconds. Repeat that rhythm for a few minutes and see if it helps you feel more in control.

The final word

The key to great masturbation is to experiment and find out what really works for you. Try to be open-minded, but if there are things that just don’t appeal or do it for you, don’t worry about it!

There are two ideas in this article that I recommend above all others. First, take your time when masturbating and don’t rush it.

Second, whether it’s purely for pleasure or for working on your sexual stamina, I highly recommend trying a fleshlight realistic vagina.

You might also like

If you’re worried about your lasting time during sex, you might find it helpful to check out my recommended sexual stamina guides for even more techniques to last longer.

And a lot of readers have asked about their penis size in the comments, and what they can do to make it bigger. So if you’re worried about that, have a look at the main article about penis enlargement.


  • The image used for the erogenous zones is the same as the one
    used on a spacecraft sent out of our solar system.
    The woman a bit taller than the original giving her a more
    equal status but it is of course the man who is giving a signal of
    greeting to any alien life. Or is he saying ” this is the hand I
    generally use for………

    • Hi J
      If there are aliens out there, I’m not sure they will interpret the picture that way. But if they do, I’m sure they’ll have a good laugh…

  • Hi Ethan my name is victor. People in my gym class are making fun of me because my penis is very small. What should I do about it, or is there a way I can avoid taking a shower?

    • Hi Victor
      Sorry to hear you’re having to deal with that – people can be so cruel! The main thing to remember is that it will continue to grow – don’t let them make you think otherwise! It might be smaller than other’s right now, but it’s not going to stay the same size. Try to keep that positive thought in mind. And as with all teasing, don’t let them get a strong reaction from you. Kids soon get bored of teasing if it doesn’t generate a reaction that makes their time worthwhile.
      I don’t know if you can avoid taking a shower, but again, avoiding it will possible single you out as being different, which might make them tease you more. So perhaps the best thing is to face it, and try to laugh it off rather than let them think you care what they say. But if you really don’t want to shower with them, that’s something you’d have to find out from the people in charge I’m guessing.
      As for what to do, did you see my article about penis enlargement? I don’t recommend trying the techniques themselves, but some of the advice about making it appear bigger might be helpful to you.
      Stay strong and don’t let their teasing get to you!

      • Hi. I am 15 years old and I have been masturbating since I was 13. I am getting a little bored of using my hand. I really want a sex toy. I am too embarrassed about it and I don’t know how to get one, especially at my agr. Can you help me?

        • Hi Matthew
          I can’t help you with this. I know they sound great, but honestly, there’s no need to worry about getting one until you’re 18, when you’re technically allowed to buy one. Try some of the other techniques instead to keep things interesting.

    • Hi Harrison!
      Well, it depends on how you look at it. If you think about everything connected with sex, including touch, intimacy, feelings etc then it’s nothing like it. But if you just think about the physical stimulation of your penis, then it’s pretty good! It’s still different, but it’s a hell of a lot closer to sex than just using your hand. The intensity of the orgasms you have with a fleshlight compared to our hand speaks for itself I think.

    • Hi Eddy
      I hope you realize sooner rather than later that this attitude is going to lead to a lot of disappointment for you in life!

  • I have used many of those techniques unknowingly just to make it interesting for me. But for me, the real turn on is when I do it when I am out exercising and when I realise that I should stop, the excitement builds up and I get more aroused. Then I cum with a satisfying orgasm.
    Sometimes, I may even wear a cock ring which allows my cock and balls to swell up and by using baby oil as a lube, I lightly touch my balls as I pump and doing it outside naked in the privacy of my backyard is fantastic. Then I enjoy a well deserved nap and clean up the mess afterwards.

  • Hi Ethan…. I’m embarrassed to talk about this but you are helping others so I think maybe it’ll be ok…. I’m 14 almost 15 and my penis isn’t even an inch but when I get hard it’s 3, is that normal?

    • Hi TK
      Don’t worry about it – your penis will grow over the next few years. Some guys take longer than others to reach their full size, so try not to stress about it.

  • hey, nice article. I liked the polls, it’s good to know i’m not doing it too much. i have one question though – if i already last for ages when i masturbate, is it necessary to work on my stamina or can i assume it will always take me ages to ejaculate?

    • Hi Jimmy
      It’s good to know the polls are useful. I’ve thought about closing them as there are so many votes now, but decided to keep them open for now. If you take a long time, then there’s no need to worry about your stamina.

  • Hi ethan, thanks for the great article and tips about stamina – very useful!! I have a question about the fleshlights. I saw on their website they have the stamina training unit with different things in combos like the shower and virtual reality one. but it seems to me that if you need to use the stamina trainer why make it more difficult with those things? or is it good to test yourself more by adding the extras? thanks in advance for your reply!

    • Hi Shane
      You’re welcome, it’s always nice to know an article is appreciated!
      So, that’s a good question. I think the stamina training unit on its own is a fantastic product as it’s very stimulating, and you get a little handbook teaching you different techniques to develop your sexual stamina when you use it. So if you only get that, you’ll have enough to keep you entertained. Having said that, it does work really well with the extras too, as you can just intensify the pleasure and then test yourself even further using the same techniques. So I think it comes down to personal feeling and budget. If you have the money to spend, then those extras are all pretty awesome in my experience. But if you’re on a tighter budget, the base unit is still a cool toy on its own.
      Hope that helps!

  • Hi
    I have 2 questions.

    first, what to do if you cant control yourself for the stop and start technique? I mean, i get too excited and my hand just cant stop.

    second, is there anything i can use from the house as an object, completely cleaned as prostate massager since i cant afford one now? Because the finger is short, something that would make you feel more comfortable is something longer idk?
    What about putting wet wipes on some long object as protection and then do the prostate masturbation? The dry ones will get stuck but i dont think so with the wet ones.


    • Hi
      Well, that’s a tricky one – I think you need to make more of an effort to take control of your body. Your brain controls your hand, so by deciding in advance that you want to stop, that shouldn’t be difficult.
      I don’t really recommend sticking household objects inside, and definitely not with wet wipes attached to them.

  • Well, I know it’s wrong but, yeah, I’ve pleased myself 3 or 4 times. Will it cause a bad addiction sort of thing to me or something else?

    • Hi Greg
      Masturbation isn’t wrong – it’s completely normal and healthy to do. And no, it shouldn’t cause you a bad addiction or other problems.

  • I really enjoy when my wife sticks her finger up my butt, either while i jack off or while she is sucking it. She thinks it’s wierd and won’t do it very often. How can I convince her it’s not weird?

    • Hi
      I guess you could find some articles online that talk about how anal play isn’t weird. But if she doesn’t like it, I think the best thing is to accept that and not push her to do it. If she relaxes about it at some point, great, but if not, maybe find other things you can both enjoy.

  • I’ve never effectively orgasmed before I never know if I’m doing it right what’s it like to have it happen

    • Hi there
      Well, I think the simplest explanation really is just that you’ll know when it happens! Most likely you’ll ejaculate, and at the same time feel warm, pleasant feelings in your body, perhaps with a kind of rush of energy.

  • My spouse has thought masturbation is so offensive that she said she’s only done it twice in her life. Also she insists I never lock the door and makes sure I have no privacy solely to prevent me from masturbating. Why would she do that? It makes me nervous as hell. Not saying how close we are but its changed me to be nerve wracked. Is this at all COMMON? ?

    • Hi Andrew
      To be honest, I’m not sure if it’s common! I imagine it’s common for women not to be thrilled with the idea that their partner still masturbates, but perhaps not to enforce door locking and ensure you have no privacy. That sounds a bit much to me personally, and I’d want to have a serious talk about that behavior if I were in your shoes.

    • Hi I am a woman and was looking for some advice for giving a good hand-job.
      Your comment stood out and I hope it’s o.k to reply even if this isn’t my forum.
      First of all it is not okay. I get why she is making these rules, probably because we women get really insecure when we think we are not sexy/stimulating enough. We also compare each other a lot with other women only to see what we don’t have. All this makes us insecure and concerning sex this means it’s lowering the pleasure. And I guess it is kind of understandable. Just imagine she would masturbate regularly and she’d only need one minute with a vibrator to come really hard. I think this is not an idea that would make you feel better when thinking of it during sex.
      But still I think you should be able to masturbate whenever and how often you want. It relieves stress! it’s healthy !! it’s fun! And it is not offensive. Having a partner that obviously enjoys sex and knows his body is super hot. I am so sorry that your wife has what seems to me an uneasy relationship with her body. I wonder if the two of you can even speak open about what you like and dislike when you are having sex. Did you try to explain her, why it is important to you.
      I am sorry that this was a long answer and also if I disturb this forum but I really have no understanding for women who act like your wife.

      • Hi Luise
        Your comment is definitely very welcome! I think it’s great when readers help each other out with their ideas, and it doesn’t matter which sex they are. So thanks for taking the time to add your thoughts.

  • Is it okay to put a wet paper on a pen and then put it in ur anus gently(not all of it of course, just up and down, just replacement for the prostate massager) and masturbate with the other hand in same time? Not homo of course but i noticed it feels nice for the men too. But my general question is, is it normal and okay?

    • Hi
      I don’t think putting paper inside is a good idea. And if the pen has any ink inside, I think it’s kind of risky, no?

  • Leave a comment:

    Only enter your email if you'd like to follow this conversation. Your email will not be published. Feel free to comment without entering your email or name.