How To Give A Woman Oral Sex: Master The Art Of Oral

Oral sex can be an exciting part of foreplay and an intense sexual experience that many women enjoy. It’s also a great way for men with premature ejaculation to extend lovemaking and give themselves some time out when they feel close to climaxing.

The best news is that it’s not so hard to improve your technique. All you really need to do is try out new movements and observe how your particular partner reacts.

In this article, I’ll share some of the best techniques I’ve found over the years, and I’ll also explain how you can learn what works best for your own partner.

Everyone is different

A key point to keep in mind is that all women are different. What works for one might not work for another, and what worked last night might not work tonight.

Where does that leave you? With a lot of experimenting to do or the courage to simply ask her to tell you what she likes.

When testing the water, try different movements, patterns, positions, speeds, and rhythms. Mix things up until you have a good repertoire of techniques that you feel comfortable with and seem to work well.

Your ability to respond to her feedback is arguably just as important as your initial experience and skill with your tongue. Listen and pay attention, and if what you’re doing isn’t getting the right sighs and moans, don’t get disheartened – just move on and try something else.

image of a man kissing a woman on a bed erotically

Don’t skip or rush oral sex

It can be tempting to skip oral sex or only do it for a couple of minutes. This isn’t ideal though; a generous lover shows a partner that their pleasure is important.

Spending a good amount of time on oral should also help raise her arousal level and increase the chance that she enjoys your lovemaking as much as you do.

How long do you need to do it for? That depends on the woman (and perhaps how flexible your neck is!)

Until she orgasms would be good, but she might ask you to stop before then, or orgasm simply might not happen (which is fine). At the very least, you’ll probably want to continue until she seems to be getting very turned on.

Start out slowly

image of a man kissnig a woman's neck sensually

A classic mistake with oral sex is to dive in with your tongue pressing hard on her clitoris and/or flicking away at lightning speed. This can be uncomfortable for the woman and takes away the fun of the build-up.

You need to start out slowly. In fact, start out by steering clear of her vagina. Kiss her lips, neck, breasts, and the inside of her thighs. Make her wait for the real action. There’s a lot to be said for anticipation, and it can be fun for you to make her wait for it…and really, really want it.

When you do finally get down there, avoid the clitoris for a while, licking around it rather than touching it.

When you do get to the clitoris, start slowly. Caress it gently with the soft top side of your tongue (not the hard tip) and only slowly start to add more pressure to your movements.

You want to tease to please. This will do much more to turn her on than just getting straight down to business.

Get creative with your tongue

diagram showing the vagina anatomy

The flat surface on top of your tongue is soft and flexible, whilst the tip is harder and can exert more pressure. Try using the full, top part of your tongue at first, maybe moving to the tip later – if she likes that.

Keep your tongue flat and soft, and lick up from the bottom of the labia to the clitoris at the beginning. If she enjoys that, you can eventually move on.

Move your tongue in an up and down motion, or side to side. Whatever you choose to do, spend some time on each movement in a constant rhythm. Start slow, build steadily, and allow some time to see how she reacts to each movement and repeated rhythm.

Vary your movements

It pays to be observant, so keep track of which movements elicit moans of pleasure, and stick with the ones that do, at least for a while.

A classic trick to discover new movements is to spell out the alphabet with your tongue around the entire area. This means large, flowing, and artful calligraphy – not tiny letters with a fine-tipped pen!

When you find a letter, or part of a letter, that makes her moan, experiment with that letter a bit more. Alternatively, finish the alphabet and then go back to the letter movements that she seemed to like most.

You need to keep that rhythm going, but start to gradually speed up and press harder as she moans louder. Remember, gradually means over the course of several minutes, not seconds.

Don’t neglect the rest of her genitals either – it’s not all about the clitoris. Many women have a sensitive patch just to one side of the clitoris, for example. Lick there and see what reaction you get.

Get comfortable

If you’re planning on spending a decent amount of time giving her oral sex, there are two issues that can crop up, both around your comfort.

The first is neck ache, which can be handled by switching positions. Having her sit on a couch or the side of the bed with you between her legs can work. Alternatively, try putting a pillow under her bum to raise the area slightly.

Secondly, there’s tongue ache. If your tongue starts to get tired, gently suck her clitoris or kiss around the vaginal area instead. After a couple of seconds, you can go back to licking.

Unless your neck is hurting or you have a preexisting condition, it’s worth putting up with a bit of discomfort. She probably does the same for you!

Use your hands

If you’re in the right position, you can simultaneously caress her body with your hands while your tongue is busy.

The breasts, inner thighs, and backs of the knees are all erogenous zones, so stroking them will make her feel great.

You can also use her hands to spread her labia, giving you better access. Try pushing up the hood of the clitoris to reach the more sensitive part with your tongue (this is a technique for later, not right at the beginning).

Alternatively, you can penetrate her with your fingers. If you’re going down the penetration route, there are a couple of options. Try inserting one or two fingers and making a ‘come here’ motion to stimulate her G-spot.

You could also let your fingers linger and stroke around her entrance to take advantage of the massive amount of nerves there. Both are good, and a combination is even better.

Don’t insert any fingers until she’s lubricated and turned on though.

Experiment with different positions

suggestive image of a man about to give a woman oral sex

There are many positions that work for oral sex. From lying down to sitting up, 69, or even sideways (resting your head on her inner thigh helps deal with neck ache).

Try different positions to find out which ones work best for you and your partner. And try not to get stuck in a pattern of repeating the same step-by-step routine every time you have sex or some of the anticipation and excitement will slowly wane.

Having said that, try not to switch positions if you’re already going down on her and she’s enjoying it. If you do, you might break the flow and make it more difficult for her to reach orgasm.

And despite what I said, once you do find a magic formula for your partner (if it exists), there’s no need to reinvent the entire wheel if you know what gives her earth-shattering orgasms.

Sure, add a few fun variations in the form of details, but don’t deny her the oral orgasm she loves in the name of endless experimentation.

Discover what works and don’t stop

I’m repeating myself, but this is such an important point: pay attention to her feedback. Listen out for her moans and sighs so you can slowly build a picture of exactly what she enjoys most.

When you get the signals that she’s turned on and getting close to orgasm, keep doing exactly what you’re doing.

Look out for heavy breathing, moaning, an increase in her lubrication, grinding or pulsing, tightly gripping your hair, head, bedding or whatever she can reach!

Don’t stop, don’t change anything, just keep going. When she says “yes” she means “keep doing that and don’t stop.”

Leave your experimenting and playing around for the beginning and middle of your oral sex. Once you reach the point where she’s seriously turned on, any kind of variation (position, movement, pattern) might interrupt her concentration.

Knowing when she’s really into what you’re doing and is on the path to orgasm is something that takes time and experience with a new partner. But you’ll eventually learn when she hits the sweet spot of just needing you to carry on with the exact same rhythm until she reaches orgasm.

That might be 30 seconds before, a minute, or several minutes. As I said at the start, all women are different.

Don’t stress if she doesn’t climax

On a final note, don’t be upset if she doesn’t climax when you give her oral sex. It’s important not to get stuck in a vicious cycle of questioning why she doesn’t come.

Keep working on it, but don’t create any drama around the issue. Not all women will orgasm with oral, but it doesn’t mean it’s not an amazing experience that they enjoy before, during, or after penetrative sex.

For men with premature ejaculation

When I first started having sex, the idea of pulling out during sex and giving my partner oral for a while was always a bit strange to me, so I didn’t do it much.

With time and experience, however, I’ve come to learn that this is actually a good way to deal with premature ejaculation and extend your lovemaking session.

Ideally, you don’t want to pull out just as you’re on the verge of orgasm, give her oral for a minute or two and then go back to it because you might find you’re still too close to ejaculating. Learn to stop before you’re at the point of no return, and then switch to oral sex for a bit.

Again, some experimenting is probably needed to make it work for you and your partner. But I do recommend trying this if you struggle with how long you typically last during sex.


  1. I think an important point of note is personal cleanliness.
    My wife and I are immaculately obsessive about cleanliness, especially in the giggity regions.
    Men expect women to be tidy and trimmed. So should men be. It’s only fair.
    Next, never approach anything about sex as a “chore”, because if you do, you defeat the satisfaction of it before you start.

    • Hi Dave
      I think you’re absolutely right – it’s good to pay attention to how you look and smell down there, both men and women. It makes it much more enjoyable, and also easier to relax when you’re receiving if you know you’re nice and fresh.

  2. Hi, I just wanted to chime in and say that the advice in this article is spot on! I wish all my ex boyfriends had read it lol. I think it’s totally right about taking it nice and easy. I hate it when guys dive in with their tongue rigid as hell and flick away like crazy. That just does nothing apart from make me recoil from the sensitivity. Guys need to slow down and treat us gently.. at least at first!

    • Hi Tammy
      Thanks for adding your perspective – I think it’s very helpful when female readers do chime in and share their thoughts, and I know from previous comments that the guys reading this appreciate it too. Here’s hoping your current or next boyfriend stumbles across the article!

      • Thanks Tammy that is good advice, I have always had a tendency to go for it too fast. I enjoy oral so much I need to consider my partner. This could help us both have a better experience. I can orgasm giving oral sex to a woman if she enjoys it

    • Just wash real well. afterwards use hair conditioner to wash your vaginal hair. It smells nice and makes your guy aware that you respect him enough to give him a nice fresh experience during oral sex. Trust me it is a turn on when my woman takes good care of her stuff for me.. try it

    • Woman need to explain to their men and visa versa that the vagina and penis like to be treated alike. The penis also has its sensitive bits and one should start slowly and work up as you go along. If you where to start sucking very hard on the tip of his penis in the very start it would turn him off too.

  3. Oral sex is really really sweet but sometimes i sympathise wth my guy bcos i assume those parts are dirty what should i do?

    • Hi Martha
      My advice would be to not assume those parts are dirty! If he gives you oral sex, it’s most likely that he really enjoys it and the pleasure it gives you. So relax, and don’t assume he finds it dirty!

  4. I’m having a girlfriend, I’m suspecting that she might be having a huge vagina because of what she was doing in the past and I also doubt my self that I will no fit and satisfy her, so how will oral help in satisfying her?

    • Hi Harvey
      If you haven’t actually felt it yet, then there’s not much point assuming it’s of a certain size. So I wouldn’t worry about whether you’ll be compatible just yet – and as they say, it’s what you do with it that’s most important. Having said that, oral sex can be extremely satisfying for many women. If you put the effort into learning how to do it well, and what your partner specifically enjoys, then it could be a great way to satisfy her, regardless of the physical size or shape.

  5. My wife and I have been married for 25 years and I have been giving her oral for 24 at least. At this point I need that as much as she does. I love the way she moves when she is enjoying it and I love to taste her when she starts to flow. I can tell when she is orgasmic by the taste and consistency. It is much creamier and salty sweet. I really get turned on when she is coming. It is very important to know I can please her. Any decent man should want to please his wife more than himself. When shes wet keep going till she asks for something else. Try reaching and touching her breast at the same time or use one or two fingers to enter her while you continue licking. Pleasing a woman will make a man feel great. I love giving her oral. It is the best. Sometimes that all that happens. I just stop there and the next time she is begging for the full monty. What ever you do put your woman first and you will be a happy man.

    • Hi David
      Thanks for this comment – I think it’s right to highlight the importance of putting your partner first, especially if there is the common issue of having different arousal levels. With oral sex you can provide so much pleasure, and bring her level of excitement in line with yours.

    • Hi there.I wish all men think like you do.I personally think that both partners should enjoy having sex and should have orgasms man wants oral sex all the time but does it to me very rarely.that’s not fare.then i get frustrated.I like doing oral sex to him but also like him to do same to are often selfish…

  6. To be perfectly honest the truth is that each woman will not only appreciate the act but the effort you put in to it. Oral is a skill like picking a lock. Train it and you’ll make every tumbler click everytime. Your face and tongue have myriad muscles. This means by learning to control your face and tongue you learn how to pick your woman’s “lock”. The more you try the more apreciative she’ll be. Being the giver in oral is a dual role dominant yet submisive.dominant because you have control of the most sensitive area. Submissive because you are at the mercy of your lovers pleasure. Trust me when I say that being a little submissive to your woman in bed can excite them in a big way.

    • Hi Adrian
      Thanks for the interesting comment! I think you’re absolutely right in what you say there, both about putting in the effort to unpick the lock and in being submissive as well as dominant. It’s a good way of looking at it!

  7. I thought I had a problem because I have never enjoyed receiving oral sex. And what you wrote makes me wish men could know what you know.
    Thank you!

    • Hi Gery
      You’re definitely not alone in feeling that way! Unfortunately, many women don’t enjoy it as much as they could simply because their partner doesn’t get it right for her. Perhaps the secret is to subtly, or clearly, educate the guy! Many guys will appreciate some pointers here and there, because at the end of the day they know it can be tricky to do right, so any help is appreciated – as long as it’s presented as tips rather than criticism.

  8. Thanks for the tips! I was looking for some new ideas to try with the missus as she loves some oral sex. I reckon she’s gonna love some of these techniques! Al

  9. i really like oral sex with my gf but i want your advice.We r the same age, but she is still a virgin and i have tried several times to disvirgin her but failed, yet we have been together for 4yrs. She likes oral sex but i want penetration so what can i do?

    • Hi Ecliose
      You’re probably just going to have to be patient and wait until she’s ready! That’s the best thing to do, and also the right thing to do. However, you can also have an honest conversation with her about how you feel – and not in the moment when you’re trying and she’s refusing. Pick a time when you’re both feeling good together, but not having sex, and raise the topic. You can explain that you feel you’d like to go further, and ask her what it is that is making her feel like it’s not right. Then you can make your decision about whether to continue being patient and enjoying oral sex, or to move on and find someone else if you really don’t like her enough to stick around and go at her pace.

  10. My wife thinks that I spoil her with the amount of oral I give… usually 40 + minutes……thing is I absolutely love to see her twist and turn .. after 17 years and 2 kids….. she still absolutely enraptures me….I know men have fantasies about other women… but I just crave my wife,her hair and smell still makes me go weak in the knees..oral is awesome….

  11. How come I don’t see anything about when she cums? I’m curious about what to do when she is in the act of orgasm. Stay in the same speed, or go faster? And what about the fact that I really don’t like the idea of getting her cum all up in my mouth? I enjoy giving oral sex to women, but only a few times have I gone that far, and I didn’t like it. It made me gag! I want to get over this. So help me out. What do I do when she is cumming?

    • Hi Jerry
      That’s a good question actually. Personally, I like to experiment with different things and see what she prefers. Sometimes it’s good to just continue until you get the clear sign to stop, like thighs clamping on your head or a hand grabbing your hair to pull you away. Sometimes continue for a short while and stop when she stops moaning. Sometimes just hold your tongue firmly against the clitoris while she comes. There are lots of things you can do, so try them and see what she seems to like most.
      If you have trouble dealing with her ejaculation though, then perhaps you can just use your tongue when she comes and keep your mouth closed.

    • Some things require an acquired taste, but I love tasting my wife when she starts to cum. I keep going till she encourages me to come up on top and give her some other type of action down there.

    • Hi Eddy
      It’s normal in that some people like it and some don’t. Have you asked her why she doesn’t like it? Maybe she feels shy, has had bad experiences in the past, doesn’t enjoy the way you do it, or perhaps just doesn’t find it stimulates her as much as other things. You could try talking to her about it, but maybe you’ll just have to accept it’s not for her.

    • I never used to like oral sex when I was younger but I love it now. I’m 55 now and enjoy sex more and more as I get older.
      I now realise that my clit was so sensitive back then I couldn’t bear it to be touched. Best thing to do to get your wife to begin enjoying oral is to start with very light finger movements first, then light licking, and go from there.

  12. Four play is the best! When giving oral sex to a female the mood has to to be set right nothing to interrupt the mood.Take the time to explore a female entire body. Softly kisses along the body to make your way to her vagina then explore her vagina with your tongue focus on her clit but not to much as you caress her body along with a bit of eye contact and everything from there should be a great time!!!

  13. Don’t forget the inside of your lower lip. It can be used to massage the labia while your tongue works deeper in.

    • Hi Eugene
      Glad you found the advice useful! The main thing is to keep practicing and working on it until you find just the way she likes it. With the new techniques you’ve learned here and some dedication, hopefully she’ll enjoy it a lot.

  14. I think that women are willing to let us know what they want to be done and how they want it done is excellent for most of guys lol but it is nice to hear that what I’m doing is correct thank you ladies

  15. Hi I loved the input , I wanna ask how can I convince my girl that oral sex is amazing , she says she will not like when I will be licking her vagina …. We have been in relationship since 4 years but still I m clueless about her feelings related to oral sex…guide me

    • Hi there
      Thanks for your comment. That’s a tricky one! I think if she’s really against the idea, you need to think why that might be. Maybe she’s shy, maybe she has a complex about how she looks, smells or feels down there. My advice would be not to pressure her, but spend a few weeks really making her feel good about herself when you’re together. Then maybe slowly but surely spend more time kissing her whole body, working within her limits of what’s comfortable. It may be that if you make her feel like you think she, and her body, and amazing, little by little she’ll allow you to do it naturally one day. Just go slow, don’t make a big issue of it, and get her used to your tongue being a little closer each day.
      Just an idea for you!

    • Well I don’t know exactly the reason, but I probably feels she doesn’t let you go down on her probably cos she loves you and respects you, it’s jus the same when you have a good heart and wudnt let you gf give you a bj cos you feel it’s disgusting thinking from a boys point of view, it’s the same story for girls

  16. I have never performed oral sex before ( I’m guy btw) and I would like to know what your beginner tips would be for me, thanks

    • Hi Noah
      I think the advice in the article can be useful for a beginner or someone who’s new to it. But I think a common mistake guys make is to try and locate the clitoris and give it as much tongue action as possible from the start. But that’s a mistake. Really take your time before getting there – kiss the stomach, legs and area around the vagina. Go slow and sensual. Then lick the vagina very gently in an upwards stroke, try the alphabet method – but gently – and then lick the clitoris a bit more strongly if you feel she’s getting nicely warmed up. And then build up from there…

  17. Well my girlfriend and I have been dating for the past year and a half, and she has been involved with multiple partners who were all excellent love makers. Me on the other hand, I have no experience in that area. (Virgin)

    So basically, I got her warmed up. She likes neck biting and kissing, so that’s what I did. With her on top of me, we began lightly kissing till be gradually built tempo, till she was exposing her neck for me to bite. I nibble and play with the left and right sides of her neck, until her breathing changed, with us where I transitioned to mild ass and boob fondling. I was doing extremely well for my first time. (I had been researching for a while.) She took off her shirt, and I helped un-do her bra, and I lightly began to suck, nibble, and play with both of her breasts. She was really enjoying it… but then I asked: “Would you like me to go down on you?”
    Here’s where I think I messed up. Her reply was: “Sure? I’m a little nervous… and I’m not going to be looking.”
    So with her permission, I took off her shorts and underwear and repeated everything I had just done before I got to that point. (That was the first time I had seen or felt a pussy in real life [still is] but I didn’t hesitate to go down on her.) So I parted her legs and gazed at her shaven mound and it was quite a magnificent sight to see. Her pussy was wet and I was feeling really proud of myself at that point, so I go to town. (Side note^ she has told me that she doesn’t come from clitoral stimulation, but mainly g-spot stimulation) So I start off to high and she immediately corrects my mistake and guides me to her clit so I start teasing around it. She then tells me to focus everything I’m doing with my mouth DIRECTLY on her clit. Meanwhile.. with my left hand, I have two fingers making the “come to me” motion in the inside. THEN SHE TELLS ME TO ADD A THIRD?! (this is where I completely mess up I think) I dead ass stop, and look at her chuckling… I’m like: “A third?” And she tells me nervously, yeah. So I put in my ring finger. (Another side note^ she is REALLY tight, and her vagina was super slippery, so I had a hard time getting my two fingers in there, let alone a third. I didn’t want to hurt her so I didn’t go as deep as she was asking me to go.) This continues for about ten minutes. My erection is completely gone, my left arm was cramping up, and I was overall tired and about to tap out, when I hear my house door open and we have to immediately stop. In the end, she told me that I did great until we got to the actual “oral” part which is where I sucked at.

    I need your help. I need more techniques so that I can better please my partner.
    I even tried the alphabet method when I was down there.

    Chris ~

    • Hi Chris
      Thanks for your comment. To be honest, I think you did just fine for a first time! It’s a shame you got disturbed by someone coming home as I’m sure you would have had plenty of fun afterwards.
      It sounds like your girlfriend knows exactly what she likes and isn’t afraid to be direct. And since you’re just getting started with all this, that’s great as she’ll be able to help you learn quicker.
      Here are some points that spring to mind reading your story:
      1. Don’t allow her to make you feel bad about what you do. If she continually tells you you suck, unless you have that kind of jokey relationship, I’d be questioning the relationship…
      2. Don’t be afraid to do the things she suggests. Unless you’re really not into her suggestions, be open-minded and just go with it.
      3. Yeah, fingers, hand, wrist, arm, shoulders, neck and tongue can all suffer during prolonged oral sex! For me, I’ve learned to position us both well before starting to reduce that effect. But it’s a sacrifice we make to please our partner – kind of like them choking on our penis…
      4. Don’t expect to me able to make her orgasm just because you’ve read some great techniques. Even with all the knowledge in the world, unless you get lucky, it can take some practice and depends on her as much as you. So just enjoy it and don’t see her orgasm through oral as the end goal. Just go with it, have fun, and when it all gets too much just go for something else unless it’s clear she’s building towards orgasm.
      5. I’d also say take charge when it comes to oral. If she begs you to put fingers in, make her wait longer. If she begs you for clitoral stimulation, make her wait longer. Anticipation is one of your greatest tools for getting her horny. Now you know better where things are and what she likes, remember when you’re down there – you’re in charge. Listen to her suggestions, but don’t just be her puppet. Do what she likes, but make her wait for it and get excited about it. It’s a fine line to walk, but great when you get it right.
      Hope that helps

      • I don’t remember if I said thank you, but thank you. I talked to her about it and she said that all I needed was practice. We are probably going to have sex for the first time on my birthday. And I’m scared I’m not going to last long. I’m going to check out the other articles you have on this website before I ask for more advice. ? Thanks again
        Chris ~

        • Hi Chris
          You’re very welcome! Try not to stress about it – even if you don’t last long, just don’t make a big deal of it. Go back to giving her oral, manual or whatever other things you enjoy together, and then go for a second round later on. You’ll last much longer the second time round. And since it’s your birthday, maybe even having a drink or two will help you relax and deal with the stress better. Just don’t have more than 2 or 3 is my advice!

    • Chris you’re a pro mate! I love your story because the exact, I mean exact same thing happened to me today!, not all of it went that way it was slightly different in terms of her asking questions… But the front door part was spot on! Haha

  18. So I have been with my partner for almost two years and we have been having oral sex for about a year. At first, he told me that he has never went down on a girl before, so I am practically his first. He also told me when his collegues advised him on how to do the deed. I really don’t know what they told him, but whatever they said isn’t as good as they think it is. I feel like he roughly sucks the clit. At first it wasn’t painful but now that I know what he is going to do, it is really painful. How do i gently let him know the right way of doing it???

    Secondly, since we have started having oral sex, he has never “comed” while I give him a bj. I have read a couple of articles on the right way to give a bj, videos I have watched but no change. What should i do about this???

    Please help.

    • Hi there
      Thanks for your comment. To be honest, I think it might be helpful for you both to just talk about what works or not. There’s not much point in putting up with painful oral sex! I would just tell him to be gentle with you. You could even just wait until he’s doing it and then stroke his head and say the word “gentle” a few times to give him the message. If he doesn’t relax, then tell him before he starts some time to go slower. He needs to know you’re sensitive there, so tell him to use his tongue at first to lick the whole area rather than suck the clitoris from the start. Then when you’re warmed up, he can maybe try focusing on the clit.
      As for the blowjob, well, to be honest it’s not always easy to make a guy come. It may be that like him, you’re just not doing it in the way that will make him come. It also might be that he just doesn’t come with oral sex, or if he does, it takes a long time.
      One idea would be to ask him if he likes the way you do it, and ask him to tell you if he likes it harder, softer, with or without teeth, faster, slower, deeper etc. Then maybe he’ll also ask you what you like – that would be ideal! If not, you can tell him anyway at the end of the conversation.
      Hope that helps

      • I guess it depends on the guy! I personally don’t find gagging or drooling turns me on, but having said that I can see why some guys might. For me, the best thing is when the woman really makes a tight seal with her mouth and puts some suction on my penis. If it’s just a soft, gentle blowjob it doesn’t do much for me. I also like it if we’re both feeling very horny and my partner lets me take control, grab her hair and ‘use’ her mouth rather than just sit back and hope she does it right. But that’s just me and my partner who enjoys that level of domination!

    • Hi Tom,
      You can do that, yes. Depending on the person, she may love it or just find it another pleasant part of the overall experience. I wouldn’t spend too much time on it, but its definitely a good thing to throw into the mix.

    • i want guys to know its ok to find yourself licking around the anus, I found that women go crazy don’t spend a lot of time there but if she likes oral she will be turned on.

    • Hi Lucy
      Yes! I couldn’t agree more. This is also confirmed by sex surveys which show that women’s main complaint about their sex life is not enough foreplay, manual and oral stimulation before sex.

  19. Hi!
    I have given oral I few times before but I have encountered a little problem; I don’t really like the taste or the smell and it annoys me because I really want to give my gf pleasure. It is not that I dislike oral at all, but I can’t stand the taste/smell, what can I do?

    • Hi Abi
      Hmmm, yes this can be a tricky one. Perhaps have showers or baths together and get her horny at that time, then she’ll be as clean as possible when you give her oral. Otherwise, most people do just have to put up with some smell and taste which can be strong at times. That’s just the way it is, and you’ll probably find she’s also putting up with your smell and taste sometimes!

    • You can use a dental dam, encourage her to practice safe sex and then toss it into the mix. This way you won’t have to deal with the taste/smell. Good luck!

  20. am 59 years old the last girl friend I had was 15 years ago Iv just kept my self to my self but it’s time
    to have some fun am not getting any younger the truth is I never done oral sex to a lady am a bit worried about STDs in my mouth I’ve seen pictures on here and what you can get from it by licking a woman’s vagina is there anything I can cover it with?

    • Hi Philip
      There’s nothing you can cover it with! If you’re that worried, then you can ask your partner to get an STD test with you before having sex. Some people do ask their new partner to do that.

      • Actually there is! Look up dental dams. They’re definitely something more popular in the lesbian community, but no reason men can’t try them too!

        • Hi Kathleen
          Wow, I didn’t even know they existed. Just looked them up online now – I can’t imagine someone being particularly flattered by you wanting to use one if you’ve only just met, but at least it’s an option. Thanks!

  21. Hi

    I am 36 years old man, I don’t like to make oral sex for my partner, although i am sure she wants this.
    give me please some tips to avoid feeling disgusting with oral sex.

    one more thing, my partner is very beautiful and sexy, but i am not feeling excited to her as before, meanwhile, i am feeling excited to another women and those women are not beautiful and sexy as she is.

    I am really feeling bad, please help and advice

    • Hi Sam
      That’s a difficult one to be honest! If you find it disgusting, is it a physical thing or mental? Lots of people don’t really love giving oral sex in terms of the action itself. But, you can learn to love it through the pleasure you give your partner. It’s great to be able to give pleasure to your partner in a way that’s selfless, as it’s all about them in that moment.
      As for your second question, well I guess you need to ask yourself how much your really like the first person. If you’re disgusted by the thought of giving them oral sex, you’re not excited by them and you’re into someone else, that doesn’t look very good to me at all. Maybe you need to be honest and decide whether both you and your partner would be better off not together so you can both find someone who is really well suited.
      Having said that, if you love your partner, perhaps you’re just having a difficult moment and it’s something to work through. If that’s the case, I’d remind myself that it’s normal for feelings to fluctuate in a relationship. But that doesn’t mean they won’t come back or can’t be nurtured.

  22. Hi guys, just one question. when do you know she’s having an orgasm or a about to.. tnx in advance

    • Hi there
      The signs will be different for different women. But she might: tense her body as she approaches orgasm, thrust her vagina more on to your mouth, grab the bed sheets or your body, make louder sounds, breathe more heavily and faster etc.
      You will just know when she has an orgasm! And as the saying goes, if you have to ask her – she probably didn’t! However, with oral sex, you can usually tell from a pulsing feeling that happens in her body around the area.

  23. Like Don above there are many men who enjoy pleasuring a woman orally.
    There are fewer that prefer it over all else but again like Don I am also one of them. To give pleasure on an intimate level like this is my favorite thing to do. This article had enlightened me a bit more with some tips on how to pefect my technique. Thanks so much for the info.
    Also I want to say in my experience teasing a woman by not directly putting pressure on her clit only the areas around it for a period of time has given them a much stronger orgasm. I tend to indirectly touch it only slightly until she pretty much forces my toungue on her clit.

    • Hi Rick
      Thanks for your comment. I think you’re right in that most men might enjoy it, but not more than sex. But some do just really love giving that kind of pleasure to their partner.
      I’m glad you enjoyed the article, and thanks for also sharing your tip. I agree that some teasing around the area can go a long way towards heightening the eventual orgasm.

  24. I’ve received oral a number of times, but I’ve never come before, mainly because when he’s down there doing it, it’s so intense I have to beg him to stop, but at the same time I really want him to finish the job. Is this normal?

    • Hi Jemma
      Thanks for your comment. Many guys unfortunately just don’t know how to give oral sex properly. Either because they haven’t been taught by a woman or because they haven’t done enough research, which is easy to do these days with the internet and all the guides written to help guys understand the intricacies of good oral sex.
      It may be too intense either because you’re just very sensitive, or because he’s going too hard and fast on the clitoris from early on. Maybe you need to tell the guy to go slow and soft to start with – most guys appreciate a bit of guidance because we secretly really, really want to make you happy when we do it. So in my opinion it’s better just to tell the guy to go easy and build up if it’s all too much for you.

  25. I have been with a married women for 6 years and sex is great. She crazy about me giving her oral sex. My tongue runs her crazy in bed. But I wonder why she doesn’t hold or touch me after she cums or after that big organism. She gets sexually distance. I also have to ask her to give me oral. But when she does I can’t cum it takes me a very long time.

    • Hi Ed
      Thanks for your comment. It’s quite normal for a woman to feel totally relaxed after an orgasm and want to enjoy the moment. The best thing you can do is just keep quiet and hold her tight, giving her some gentle caressing maybe.
      You may also find she’s a bit nervous about doing it in return if it takes you a very long time to cum. Some women do find it uncomfortable giving oral for extended periods of time. Maybe ask her honestly how she feels about it and see what she says. Maybe you’ll have to settle for a mixture of manual, oral and normal sex instead of hoping she’s happy to have you in her mouth for ages!
      So my advice would be to have an open chat about what’s working or not for you both.

  26. My girlfriend and I are pretty experimental when it comes to sex I’d say we trust each other a lot and are pretty comfortable in the sheets. For her birthday we agreed to some mild bondage. I wouldn’t give to much detail but let her know I had an idea to see if she was interested. So with saying that is there any advice as far as oral stand up or just any ideas that I may not have thought of.

    • Hi Cody
      Something that works really well is if you have her tied or restrained, then spend a loooong time kissing all of her body and teasing her – move up and down the body, and each time you go to give her oral, don’t actually do it. Just tease repeatedly and make her really want it. Then each time you move back to that area you can slowly give more and more oral each time, before stopping again. It can drive her wild with desire for it, so that when you finally settle into giving some serious oral, she will be very, very turned on.

  27. Am 26. Pls, what can I do in order to have sex for longer? I hardly last 5min in sex, because of this I do spend a lot of time in romance before making attempts to have sex. I noticed this happens whenever my partner needs me to put more pressure. Thanks

    • Hi Denis
      To last longer, there are two main approaches. One if to practice natural techniques and the other is to use more immediate solutions like a delay spray. If you go to the homepage, you’ll find advice on which one might help you most and why both together can be useful.
      I’d also suggest that you really learn as much as you can about oral sex, as this can be a great way to buy yourself extra time. I like to stop in the middle of sex sometimes and give oral if I’m feeling over-stimulated. And if you’re good at oral, she’ll love you for this. As for more pressure, yes doing it faster and harder will make you come faster. Try doing that in the spoons positions though – it allows for deeper penetration, but is easier for the guy to withstand.

      • My girl friend is soo sexy and beautiful…i dont know if she likes oral sex or not..i like oral i even tried 2 to 3 times..but she doesnt response or doesnt go wild…how to make wild by oral sex…cn u plz hlp me..

        • Hi there
          To be honest, most women don’t exactly go wild during oral sex. In my experience, it’s more of a case of they lie there, relax and enjoy what you’re doing. If you do it right, once they get really turned on, sure they might start moaning, writhing around or grabbing the bed sheets or your head. But often they can be quite quiet until they get quite close to orgasm unless they are a naturally loud person during sexual activity anyway.
          Why don’t you ask her if she enjoys what you do? Ask her what you could do to make it better for her if she enjoys oral sex but you’re not quite hitting her buttons. And also make sure you really read up on doing the techniques correctly. The more knowledge you have, the less practice you’ll need to find something which she really enjoys.

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