Have you mastered the sometimes mysterious art of oral sex? Or maybe you haven’t had the chance to try yet?
Most women love oral (myself included), so getting it right is one of the keys to a great sex life.
Oral sex is an essential part of great foreplay, but can be a full-on sexual experience in its own right. Plus, getting her aroused orally means less pressure on you to last forever during the main event.
So in this article, I’m going to teach you how to figure out exactly what she likes, and how to give her the best oral sex she’s ever had.
Everyone is different
One of the most important things to remember here is that all women are different. What works for one might not work for another; and what worked last night might not work tonight.
Where does that leave you? With a lot of experimenting to do (but at least it’ll be fun!).
Read tips, try different things, mix things up as much as you can until you’ve built up a few great techniques that you can switch between.
You’re looking for feedback here. Listen and pay attention, and if what you’re doing isn’t getting the right sighs and moans, move on to something else.
Don’t skip or rush oral sex
A lot of guys either skip over the oral altogether, or do it only for a few minutes. This is a big mistake (and in my opinion quite selfish). A good lover shows his partner that her pleasure is important to him.
Giving oral is also helps enormously with getting a woman turned on. This brings her arousal level up to meet yours, and ensures that she enjoys your encounter as much as you do.
How long do you need to go for? That depends on the girl. Until she orgasms would be good, but she might ask you to stop before then. At least until she’s nice and lubricated and turned on though.
Start out slow
A classic mistake with oral is that you just dive in with your tongue flicking away at lightning speed. This isn’t going to get you anywhere (and can be uncomfortable for the girl involved).
You need to start out slowly. In fact, start out by steering clear of her vagina. Kiss her lips, neck, breasts, the inside of her thighs. Make her wait for the real action.
When you do finally get down there, avoid the clitoris for a while, licking around it rather than touching it.
Again, when you get to the clitoris, start slowly. Tickle it with your tongue and only slowly start to add more pressure to your movements.
You want to tease to please. This will do much more to turn her on than just getting straight down to business.
Get creative with your tongue
The flat surface on top of your tongue is soft and flexible, whilst the tip is harder and can exert more pressure. You want to use the full part of your tongue at first, maybe moving to the tip later.
Keep your tongue flat and soft, and lick up from the bottom of the labia to the clitoris at the beginning. If she likes that, you can move on.
Move your tongue in an up and down motion, or side to side. But keep up a rhythm, slow at first then building up. The clitoris is sensitive at the beginning, so going straight at it hard and fast with the tip of your tongue is likely to turn her off.
Vary your movements
It pays to be observant. Start your tongue action, and see what kind of movement elicits moans of pleasure, then stick to that one for a while.
The classic trick here is to try spelling out the alphabet with your tongue. When you find a letter, or part of a letter, that makes her moan, that’s the movement you should keep doing.
You need to keep that rhythm going, but start to gradually speed up and press harder as she moans louder. Remember, gradually in this case means over the course of several minutes, not seconds.
And don’t neglect the rest of her genitals, it’s not all about the clitoris. Many women have a sensitive patch just to one side of the clitoris, for example. Lick there and see what reaction you get.
If you’re doing this well, you’re likely to be doing it for quite a while, so it’s important to get comfortable.
There are two issues here. The first is neck ache, which can be handled by switching position. Having her sit on a couch or the side of the bed with you between her legs can work. Alternatively, try putting a pillow under her butt to raise the area slightly.
Secondly, there’s tongue ache. If your tongue starts to get tired, take a quick time out and gently suck her clitoris or kiss around the vaginal area. After a couple of seconds you can go back to licking.
Use your hands
If you’re in the right position, you can simultaneously caress her body with your hands while your tongue is busy. The breasts, inner thighs and backs of the knees are all erogenous zones, so stroking them will make her feel great.
You can also use her hands to spread her labia, giving you better access. Or try pushing up the hood of the clitoris to let you reach the more sensitive part with your tongue (this is a move for later in the game, not right at the beginning).
Alternatively, you can penetrate her with your fingers. If you’re going the penetration route, there are a couple of options. Insert your fingers all the way in and make a “come hither” motion to try and stimulate her G spot.
Or let your fingers linger and stroke around her entrance to take advantage of the massive amount of nerves there. Both are good, and a combination is even better.
Don’t insert any fingers until she’s well lubricated and turned on though.
Experiment with different positions
There are loads of positions that work for oral. From lying down to sitting up, 69, or even sideways (resting your head on her inner thigh helps deal with neck ache).
Try lots of positions and find out which ones work best for you and your partner. Don’t get into a routine, or things will get boring.
Having said that, try not to switch positions if you’re already going down on her and she’s enjoying it. If you do, you’ll ruin her concentration and make it more difficult for her to reach orgasm.
Find what works and don’t stop
I’m repeating myself here, but this is important: pay attention to her feedback. It’s tough to stop half way to ask her if she’s having fun, so listen out for those moans and sighs.
When you get the signals that she’s turned on and getting close to orgasm, keep doing what you’re doing. So look out for heavy breathing, moaning, an increase in her lubrication, grinding or pulsing, and possibly gripping your hair or the bedclothes tightly.
Don’t stop, don’t change anything, just keep going. When she says “yes” she means “keep doing that and don’t stop.” Trust me on this.
Leave your experimenting and playing around for the beginning. Once you reach the point where she’s seriously turned on, any kind of variation (position, movement) will only interrupt her concentration.
You might have neck ache, but just power on through it. Just like I do when I’m giving you oral sex and you’re close to orgasm. Consider it a small sacrifice.
The bottom line
The key to repeatedly giving a woman amazing oral sex is to not expect any one thing to work from one time to the next.
You need to be flexible, creative and responsive. And you need to pay attention to her oral feedback (even if she’s not using words).
Once you reach the point where she’s obviously seriously enjoying things, don’t stop and don’t change anything. Just keep doing what you’re doing until she reaches orgasm.
If you’d like to find out about even more ways to give your partner amazing oral sex, I highly recommend reading ‘Lick by Lick’, written by the respected sex expert Michael Webb.
He explores the finer details of what really makes great oral sex, and gives you lots of great ideas and techniques to try.