How To Give A Woman Oral Sex – Advice For Guys From A Girl

photo of a man giving a woman oral sex

Do you and your partner enjoy oral sex, but you’re not quite sure if you’ve quite mastered this sometimes mysterious art?

Perhaps you haven’t had an opportunity yet, but want to be sure you get it just right when that magical moment arrives.

Oral sex is arguably an essential part of great foreplay, but can be so much more than that – your tongue has the capacity to give a woman toe-curling orgasms.

It’s also a great way to prime your partner and raise her arousal levels, which then reduces the pressure on you to last for a long time when having sex.

In this article, I’ll be teaching you guys how to give a girl oral sex properly, as well as helping you work out what your own partner likes and hopes you’ll do more of.

Everyone is different

It’s really important to remember that everyone is different – what pleases one woman might not tick the right boxes for another.

Perhaps the best piece of advice is to get down (literally) to some serious trial and error. Remember to communicate your desires and simply enjoy the process of getting to know each other.

We girls love receiving oral sex, but you won’t know for sure if the techniques you read in a book or website will work unless you give them a go. Once you’ve read some advice about what women want, test it out and see if your partner enjoys it.

Whatever your partner finds pleasurable is exactly what you need to be doing. Don’t just repeat a trick or style you read, heard or found worked on someone else.

It’s fine to start out with movements you know work for some women, but if isn’t met by moaning or other signs of pleasure, abandon it and move onto the next.

Don’t skip or rush oral sex

Many guys tend to skip past performing oral sex for their partner, or only do it briefly in the hope of receiving some oral in return.

This a mistake though, and sexually selfish if you ask me – a skillful lover should be generous and show his partner that her pleasure is important to him.

And giving oral sex is a key ingredient for turning a woman on, bringing her arousal level up to yours, and therefore ensuring that she enjoys the sexual encounter as much as you do.

If you keep in mind my tips for giving a girl good oral sex and take the time to get it right, you’ll bring some extra spice to the bedroom and satisfy her as much as she deserves.

Don’t rush in

image of a woman lying on a bedPerhaps you don’t really enjoy giving oral sex? Or maybe you’re just a little unsure about what to do exactly.

This can lead to the classic mistake of diving straight in, with your tongue flicking away like a cat with a fresh bowl of milk.

However, what we really want is for you to start nice and slowly, tease us and build up steadily.

Kiss her lips, neck and make your way down her body until you’re kissing her inner thighs. Try and make eye contact as much as possible, and position yourself in a comfortably position that allows you to caress her breasts, body and arms.

The idea is to turn her on before you even start the oral sex and make her tingle all over. A bit of teasing works really well here. A lot of teasing can be magic.

Build up gradually

When you begin to kiss and lick during oral sex, work your way in slowly from the outside. This will make the experience more intense and still feel like you’re teasing her. A slow build up creates a much better orgasm for us girls.

Most women are very sensitive to touch, including touch performed by the tongue, so start gently and see what your woman wants. The clitoris in particular is packed full of nerve endings so make sure you listen to her signals.

Try not to rush into licking the clitoris, and when you do be gentle – especially if she’s not fully aroused yet.

Get creative with your tongue

Diagram Of The Vagina And Clitoris for oral sexThe key to giving a woman good oral sex is to keep moving your tongue. If you’re not sure how, keep it flat and soft, and lick up from the bottom of the labia up to her clitoris.

You can do an up and down motion, side to side, or even better – a slow, lingering mixture of both at the start.

It’s important to use the flatter and softer top part of your tongue – especially at the start when she may not be fully aroused, and not ready for the additional pressure and speed that the tip can bring.

If you flick away as hard and fast as possible right from the start, it might just feel too sensitive and put her off.

Vary your movements

You can try spelling out the alphabet over different areas with your tongue – this keeps the tongue moving in different directions. And don’t forget to change the pace – get faster and more intense if she likes it.

The classic advice with the alphabet techniques is that if you find a ‘letter movement’ that she responds well to, then you can keep repeating that letter for a while.

You might occasionally want to gently suck her clitoris, as the suction can give a different sensation. Some women will love this, some won’t. And even a girl that likes it one day might not the next day.

You need to be ready to change, be creative, be flexible and keep working at finding what tongue movements, pressure and speed work on a particular girl, on a particular day in a particular setting!

And remember it’s not just the clitoris you need to focus on. Draw that alphabet large over the whole area, then medium and small around different parts. Women enjoy the whole area being licked, kissed and touched, so don’t get fixated just on the clitoris.

Don’t forget about your hands

When giving a woman oral sex, try to get yourself into a position where your hands are free to add an extra element. If you’re able to caress her body and breasts while giving oral, she’ll enjoy it so much more.

If you can gently caress her thighs, stomach, chest and arms with your finger tips while giving her oral sex, you’ll be able to tap into multiple erogenous zones all at the same time and send sparks flying in her body.

You can also use one hand to slightly lift up the ‘hood’ of the clitoris and reveal the more sensitive part for your tongue to stimulate. Make sure you learn where this is.

If you’re good at multitasking, why not add your fingers into the action and try to stimulate her G-Spot? Most women enjoy the build up, so try to learn when she’s ready for you to use your fingers as well to intensify the pleasure to the next level.

If you go straight in with the fingers at the start then you might ruin the potential for an orgasm that a steady build up brings. If in doubt, don’t insert a finger until she’s naturally already wet and moaning with pleasure.

Experiment with different positions

the number 69, a great position to give a woman oral sexTry different techniques and see what works for you. Perhaps you’d like to introduce some new positions (such as the 69 where you both perform oral sex to each other at the same time, or the man on top and in control).

Whatever you do, mix it up and don’t make things feel like a routine. If she doesn’t quite know what’s coming next, she’ll be even more turned on, whether the oral sex is for foreplay or for orgasm.

Find the best technique and don’t stop!

It’s obviously not always easy for you to speak to her while you perform oral sex, so listen to the sounds she makes. We women can be a bit shy, but generally most like to talk and say what we like.

If your girl isn’t a talker though, check for signs she’s enjoying it, such as heavier breathing or moaning. And if she’s holding the top of your head, she may grip harder as she’s closer to climaxing.

Look for signals that tell you she’s really turned on, and don’t suddenly stop or change what you’re doing if she’s clearly really into it.

At the start, it’s fine to play around and experiment with different actions and techniques. But once you’ve teased her and gotten her warmed up, it’s time to settle on the technique that will give her an orgasm and not stop until she gets there.

By this point, your jaw may be aching and your tongue might feel numb, but persistence will pay off. If she’s enjoying it, then stopping as she’s building towards climax just because you have neck ache or a sore jaw isn’t cool!

And nothing beats a bit of feedback, so ask her afterwards if she liked it, and she might offer some tips to make next time even more intense.


Hopefully you’ll see now that the key to giving a girl oral sex is to not expect any one thing to work from one time to the next.

You need to be flexible, creative and responsive. If she doesn’t tell you exactly what works, you need to find out yourself by observing how she reacts to different techniques.

And perhaps most importantly, when you know what works for her, once you decide to focus on that technique, just keep doing it until she reaches orgasm.

Enjoy the practice, enjoy the experimenting, and enjoy the great feeling when you magically work out exactly what she needs to have orgasms.

More ideas

If you’d like to find out about even more ways to give your partner amazing oral sex, I highly recommend reading ‘Lick by Lick’, written by the respected sex expert Michael Webb.

He explores the finer details of what really makes great oral sex, and gives you lots of great ideas and techniques to try.

Check out the Lick by Lick oral sex guide >>


  • Many of these techniques got her stimulated but I think her favorite had to be sucking on the clitoris, she went insane when I told her what I had in mind but when I actually did it she melted

    • Hi there,

      Very imaginative name you chose! Why did she go insane? Anyway, glad Wayne’s magic came in useful once again haha

  • Great stuff! thanks for the article and wayne’s subsequent comment! I’d like to think im pretty alright under the covers, but I feel as though these tips will really make a difference and make a good night into a great one! thank you :)

    • Hi
      Thanks for the comment, and I’m glad you found the article helpful. As ever, Wayne’s comment is the star attraction:-) I’m glad you think it’ll help.

  • My wife likes me alternate between my tongue and her ladyfinger vibrator. So I lie between her legs and I’ve got a great view to vibe her clitoris and then follow up with my tongue. A typical session will see her cum between ten and twenty times until she begs me to stop. Sometimes I keep going with my tongue, and other times the ladyfinger takes over. We both love doing this as a prelude to her going down on me.

    • Hi Steve
      Thanks for the comment, and it sounds like you have a great thing going on there. wow though, ten to twenty times? She must love you;-)

  • Wayne,
    I have read your article and plan to follow it. I am 73 years old and have an erection problem. Meds do not help. My girl friend is 11 years my Junior. She loves sex and melts at my touch. I use a dildo to replace what I can’t do. We preform oral sex on each other and are both very happy with it. I put some cream on her the other day and thought she would die. As I was removing it with my tongue, she couldn’t lay still and was excited like never before. I also loved where you stated to use two fingers inside her. We are getting married soon and I dearly hope she can feel my wedding ring when I slip it inside her. Our love has no bounds

    • Hi Old Timer
      Thanks for the comment, and once again Wayne’s tips have proven to be a hit! I like your cream idea, and it’s great to hear that you still have an active love life. Shame you have erection problems, but I guess that’s natural. Good work for finding alternatives though.
      I hope you don’t lose that wedding ring;-)
      All the best and congratulations!

  • im 72. im absolutely in love. she loves oral.
    trust me when i say that to be successful at making your lover cum hard, climax and even squirt across the room….plan your time with her according to your opportunities: that is to say, be able to DO IT ALL in a short amount of time (up to 5 minutes), medium (up to 20 minutes), long (up to 1 hour), extra long (up to 2.5 hours), mega long (up to 5 hours), marathon love night (from 11p to 7am with breakfast included), and finally, the ultimate love-fest (from whenever to whenever to include dinner and dancing my friend!)
    yes…I’ve done it all, and very successfully.
    but it takes careful planning and patience during iterations of your ‘plan execution’ that will always include trial and error. but here’s the deal men … once you let her know you are ALWAYS READY NO MATTER WHAT…AND CAN PROVE IT WITH EXPERIENCE OVER TIME (YOU’RE GONNA LOVE THIS PART) SHE WILL BE YOURS FOREVER NO MATTER IF THE DEVIL HIMSELF TRIES TO EVER INTERFERE!

    If you need help planning all the above time periods…all you have to do is READ AND HEED!
    ive been reading and then doing all my life because if there is only one thing i know to be true…it’s this ==> making her cum will save your ass from grief, turmoil and broken dreams!

    • Hi trikiriki69
      Wow. I don’t know how to respond to that comment! If you have a moment, it would be very interesting to hear some of your actual techniques! I’m sure you must have a trick or two you can share:-)

  • Below are 5 cunnilingus tips to help you get started.
    Start Slowly
    Don’t rush to the finish, it’s more of a marathon than a one hundred metre sprint. Begin by kissing her body, starting from her neck and working your way down; remember no-where is of limits, kiss her stomach, her legs and anywhere else you can think of. This will help her to relax and feel comfortable.
    Take Control
    Give her the opportunity to be totally swept away by you. Before you go down on her, hold both her hands with yours and put them above her head. Then tell her that your in control and that she is not to move her hands unless you tell her that it’s okay to do so. This will only add to the overall tease factor, guaranteeing a successful climax.
    Don’t Let Her Have It All At Once
    Once you begin using your tongue on her vagina, don’t be afraid to tease her. Gently lick her clitoris and vagina and then begin kissing her body again. Every time you do this, extend the length you do it for. After a while begin licking her out properly. Start by gently kissing her clit and the outsides of her vagina.
    ABC, It’s Easy As 123
    A great little technique when going down on a woman is the alphabet technique. With your tongue inside her vagina, begin spelling out the alphabet with your tongue. This is a great way to cover all areas of her vagina and it also allows you to begin discovering where she is most sensitive.
    Fingers And All
    The tongue is more than capable of doing all the work itself, but you can take a woman even further by using your fingers. A great technique is to lick her clit and then gently put your middle finger inside her vagina. You can then rest you index finger and ring finger on the outside of her vagina. If she seems comfortable you can use the come hither technique. Using you index and middle finger, put them inside her vagina and then with the fingers inside her pretend you are signalling for someone to come over to you.

    • Hi Tobby
      Thanks for the tips, but I’m afraid I can’t publish the link you left at the end.

      • Damn! I’m a lesbian, and I’ve never heard a man so in tune with what a woman wants! I could almost feel you going down on me…. Yummy

    • I found your article about oral sex very interesting and informative, I started giving my wife oral sex almost as soon after our wedding as possible. It was enjoyable and exciting for both of us that it became a regular practice. We were both rather randy and we had sex of one kind or another every night. We found that doing a 69 was far better and certainly more enjoyable and satisfying if she was on top. It gave her the chance to initiate her own desires, one being her liking to push my erect penis between her breasts as she put her hands behind my knees to pull me legs upwards so she could start sucking my balls. I was able to give her anal licks and tongue probes while she was busy on top of me. She was also able to return the compliment by giving me anal licks and tongue probes. . satisfaction. Best of all, she was always willing for it to happen every night !!!

  • Sing to her a T pain song even if you cant sing. Then lick the inside of her like you would like ice cream flick that clit with the tip of your tongue periodically. Ask her you like that. And yall know if she do cause she’ll say dont stop. After that your golden.

    • Hi Ghost

      Thanks for the pretty funny comment! But what if she listens to classical music or opera? I’m not sure she’ll get too turned on by badly sung T pain lyrics…

    • Interesting question. Do you mean when a woman is giving you oral sex? Are you talking about the smell? And of what…your penis generally, or your semen?

  • This is a great post. Do you have other sites you can recommend for me please? I had a heart transplant and can not get an erection anymore and my cardiologist recommends oral, but no specific recommendations. Any help you can provide will be great. Thank you sooooo much,

    • Hi Chuck

      Thanks for your comment. Sorry to hear about the heart issues and subsequent erection problem. Is there absolutely nothing that can be done on that front? No medication?

      I don’t know how open you and your partner are sexually, but I would also recommend getting into sex toys. You can use a dildo for example and control it. It’s not the same, but it’s still gives you more options that just oral.

      I would just buy one for her and present it one day in bed as a surprise. That way she will at least believe you’re serious about the idea! She may hve already considered it, but felt bad about suggesting it. So my advice would be to take control of the situation, and fully open your mind to the amazing world of sex toys!

      I don’t want to recommend any sites specifically. But searching online will turn up countless options for you!


  • I wish there was a video for Wayne’s technique and for the alphabet technique. I can’t quite picture the vacuum technique that you describe. None the less it sounds like it would be amazing if a guy knew how to properly do this to females!

  • Wayne, thanks for the great advice. I actually tried this technique over the weekend and was able to give my wife an orgasm from oral for the first time in almost 10 years. As soon as I started with your technique I could tell she was really into it which is not always the case as she can be uncomfortable with me going down on her at times. I can’t wait to try it again. Thanks for sharing!

  • I enjoy giving my girl oral sex and can tell when she is there because she squeezes my head or hand or shoulder. She tells me she was flying in the sky or
    in the clouds and has to cover her mouth from screaming
    out.She climaxes about ten times in between a lot of pounding then when she is wet I just have to eat. I tell
    her it is my honey pot and she is full of honey.
    My question is time as she is climaxing I try to continue with a deep tongue and a Muuuuummmm purr on
    her clit.Sometimes she will let me get her there again
    sometimes she will say give me a minute but put it in as she is still jumping or shaking.

    • Hi B,

      Thanks for your comment. My personal experience has been that when a woman is climaxing she appreciates you just stopping, staying still, and letting her either freeze and enjoy the moment, or continue herself by grinding against you. That applies during oral or sex. But all women are different, so my advice would be to ask her! If you’re talkative enough to tell her you want honey from her honey pot, I’m sure you can ask her what she does or doesn’t like:-)

  • in terms of reaching that multi orgasm plateau, most women don’t even realise they can do it. they are so used to climaxing through masturbation or quick intercourse/oral and don’t want further touching because of sensitivity they have developed a habit of allowing arousal to totally subside post climax. The reality is that gentle continuation of touching or oral can keep arousal high yet still allow clit recovery from climax and are amazed that within 2-3 minutes they are immediately back to high arousal.

    • Hi Wayne,

      Wow, I don’t know what to say – thanks for such a long and detailed description of your technique for giving oral sex to women. It certainly sounds good to me, though I hope you spend some time on foreplay as in my experience going straight for the clitoris can be too much for most women. They need and like to be warmed up first rather than going straight to the most sensitive parts.
      But after that, your technique sounds very interesting, and I might have to give it a go the next time I have the opportunity!

      • No problems.The thing that is best about it is you have total control of her. You can make her climax in 1 min or edge her 20 times over 30 min. YOU decide when she climaxes and how often. The thing about digital penetration of anal is a massive taboo. most women say 80% will say don’t like it. If you place it there as tease, when she is already hot she can push it away or say no. fine no drama My experience is 70% don’t push away. By lifting buttocks but leaving thumb close when they lower themselves bec of tense thighs they lower and partially penetrate anal and becomes a massive head taboo thing for them they are doing it themselves. Many then embrace it bec of head/taboo aspect.probably 50% are converted then and there and allow full penetration…..yes that high. For those that dont, use other thumb at her vagina and alls good.

        • Hi again Wayne,

          Thanks again for the interesting advice – and as you’ve seen, you already have someone agreeing with your technique!

          All the best

  • I have been with hundreds of women. No moral judgements please.I was pretty useful with oral, but one day i tried a new technique that has hit pay dirt. Used the technique on perhaps two hundred woman. Half proclaimed they were not multi orgasmic. 95% i can make climax at least 3 times without stopping and waiting for recovery. at least 140 women (ie 70%) proclaimed it was the best oral they had ever had, so i know its a winner. One even suggested i write a book lol. The technique has a number of elements and must be used correctly.
    1) Start slow kissing and licking around pussy. This is designed to allow the guy get to know sensitivity which is really important.
    2) Position best with woman on back you between her legs arms OUTSIDE her thighs reaching up to GENTLY pinch nipples.
    3) At some point when she has warmed up create a vacuum seal around the whole clitoral hood and clit area with your mouth (lips persed hard). Use upper lip to press the clitoral hood open by pushing against that area with mouth pressed. Whilst still in vacuum, having the upper teeth GENTLY hold the hood free of the clit). Retract your tongue back in your mouth a little and make it hard by pointing it. You then flick the hard tongue back and forward over the clit like a vibrator. Work slow at first because she may be a sensitive sort who will flinch or jump
    3) Adjust your pace with tongue to meet her arousal levels. Faster pace in a burst if you feel she isn’t at cusp. Slow or stop completely and just use lips and teeth to push clit hood open and closed to tease. You can get her to cum in 1 min with the technique BUT you don’t. You have total control like a vibrator on automatic speed adjust depending on proximity to climax. Its preferable to get her to tell you when close or not. eg a verbal sign….dirty talk etc. done it often enough i now know how close a woman is.
    4) Use you right hand to position thumb at entrance to vagina (or anus if she enjoys that). Dont penetrate just position it there as a mental tease. If you both enjoy anus stimulation its best if you wait for juices to flow and encourage them to cover her anus. When you then place thumb there without penetrating it will be greater turn on because is slippery.
    5) When you sense she is getting close to climax start pinching nipples between thumb and forefinger each hand (not too hard) and pulling breast out by the nipple.
    6) i usually place hands under her arse cheeks and tease her to lift her arse off the bed about 6-8 inches which does 2 things. Allows her to work hard with thigh muscle tensing………working hard for her climax! and secondly allows her to pelvic thrust as i presume she does with her vibrator. You dont break the vacuum seal or vibrator tongue.She can then control final stages usually to massive climax
    7) When she climaxes pull nipples out hard, fast vibrator tongue and penetrate vagina (or anus) with thumb. She will buck wildly so be careful to retract teeth at that point else you may hurt her. Didn’t do that one time and the woman god bless nearly knocked my teeth out! when she pelvic thrust at me lol
    8) IF you want her to multi climax move your mouth immediately away from clit area after climax and just slow lick not so sensitive areas, labia, inner thigh, vaginal opening,. perineum. After about 45 sec return to clit hood area. She may try to say no or push away but reassure her you know she is sensitive. Allow bottom lip not tongue to roll up and over clit hood area gently until you notice she is less sensitive again. Move back to vacuum position but be very gentle to start testing how sensitive she is. Sometimes if too sensitive you can use vacuum seal to simply open and close hood without direct stimulation to clit. Usually within 2-3 minutes you can re-start process with hard tongue vibrator again. You must get back there within this time frame to get her to what i call multi climax plateau from where you can repeat this…. maximum number i gave was 10 times. If she slides down from climax you will lose the chance for plateau. There is a window. Ask her to trust that you know what you are doing.

    • OMG, this is exactly what I make my boyfriend do, and the first time I’ve seen it described this way. The vacuum seal is definitely the key. Basically I beg him to suck on my clit, gently at first then harder and harder until I come. For me it works 100%. Wish I could do it to myself. Its about a thousand times better than doing it with my hands or even a vibrator.

      • Hi Hotwinxx,

        Thanks for adding a woman’s authority-up to Wayne’s technique! I’m sure that will help other guys reading this take even more interest in what he had to say:-)


        • Yes! My husband uses this technique as well and it’s AMAZING! If you can do this we are HOOKED! I mean, it is the BEST way to give oral to a woman!

          • Hi Katina

            Thanks for that comment – hearing from a woman definitely helps back up the effectiveness of the technique:-)

      • Hotwinxx. Sucking in a vacuum seal is good and something i usually use as variation during the process to change things up. My basic approach and the one i describe is more an intermittent thumping at her clit with the tongue.If you place mouth closed over top of your hand and flick tongue to and fro hard you will get a sense of what im talking about. If you use sucking its my experience that you have two choices. Suck creating suction with lips as first line or suck creating suction with teeth gently forward of the lips as first line.I find the latter a better technique because it rakes the sensitive flesh against the teeth when being sucked into mouth especially if you close the gap between teeth slightly heightening impact. W

    • Wayne. I actually tried your technique over the weekend and it worked amazingly well. I haven’t been able to get my wife to climax with oral for almost 10 years (she is not comfortable with me going down at times). I tried your technique as described above and she was totally into it and let me continue all the way to a great orgasm for her. Thanks for sharing.

    • I wish there was a video for Wayne’s technique and for the alphabet technique. I can’t quite picture the vacuum technique that you describe. None the less it sounds like it would be amazing if a guy knew how to properly do this to females!

  • Cool article, with some good tips. The alphabet tongue is a top idea. I always forget what I was doing when trying random stuff. So this is a cracking way to remember! Nice one!

  • Nice tips, and the one about the tongue alphabet sounds like a brilliant idea! Sometimes you kind of forget what you did that was good but with this you can just remember the letter youre on – genius

        • I use the underside of my tongue when I suck on her. 5-10 min. She’s done. I use my hands too. One hand moves the hood up for best suction. The other I rub all over her body. I also make noises, the kind you make when you enjoy something. She says that turns her on too. I do all the things you mentioned. Kissing her body and running my hands all over. She is very turned on before I go down. I like it when she puts a pillow under her bottom and I put one under my knees on the floor. Saves the neck A LOT!! Thanks you for all the great info. You can never learn too much on how to please you woman.

          • Hi Kevbo
            Thanks for the comment and the suggestions. I particularly like the idea about the underside of the tongue and will have to give that a go!

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