How To Give A Woman Oral Sex – Advice For Guys From A Girl

photo of a man giving a woman oral sex

Do you and your partner enjoy oral sex, but you’re not quite sure if you’ve quite mastered this sometimes mysterious art?

Perhaps you haven’t had an opportunity yet, but want to be sure you get it just right when that magical moment arrives.

Oral sex is arguably an essential part of great foreplay, but can be so much more than that – your tongue has the capacity to give a woman toe-curling orgasms.

It’s also a great way to prime your partner and raise her arousal levels, which then reduces the pressure on you to last for a long time when having sex.

In this article, I’ll be teaching you guys how to give a girl oral sex properly, as well as helping you work out what your own partner likes and hopes you’ll do more of.

Everyone is different

It’s really important to remember that everyone is different – what pleases one woman might not tick the right boxes for another.

Perhaps the best piece of advice is to get down (literally) to some serious trial and error. Remember to communicate your desires and simply enjoy the process of getting to know each other.

We girls love receiving oral sex, but you won’t know for sure if the techniques you read in a book or website will work unless you give them a go. Once you’ve read some advice about what women want, test it out and see if your partner enjoys it.

Whatever your partner finds pleasurable is exactly what you need to be doing. Don’t just repeat a trick or style you read, heard or found worked on someone else.

It’s fine to start out with movements you know work for some women, but if isn’t met by moaning or other signs of pleasure, abandon it and move onto the next.

Don’t skip or rush oral sex

Many guys tend to skip past performing oral sex for their partner, or only do it briefly in the hope of receiving some oral in return.

This a mistake though, and sexually selfish if you ask me – a skillful lover should be generous and show his partner that her pleasure is important to him.

And giving oral sex is a key ingredient for turning a woman on, bringing her arousal level up to yours, and therefore ensuring that she enjoys the sexual encounter as much as you do.

If you keep in mind my tips for giving a girl good oral sex and take the time to get it right, you’ll bring some extra spice to the bedroom and satisfy her as much as she deserves.

Don’t rush in

image of a woman lying on a bedPerhaps you don’t really enjoy giving oral sex? Or maybe you’re just a little unsure about what to do exactly.

This can lead to the classic mistake of diving straight in, with your tongue flicking away like a cat with a fresh bowl of milk.

However, what we really want is for you to start nice and slowly, tease us and build up steadily.

Kiss her lips, neck and make your way down her body until you’re kissing her inner thighs. Try and make eye contact as much as possible, and position yourself in a comfortably position that allows you to caress her breasts, body and arms.

The idea is to turn her on before you even start the oral sex and make her tingle all over. A bit of teasing works really well here. A lot of teasing can be magic.

Build up gradually

When you begin to kiss and lick during oral sex, work your way in slowly from the outside. This will make the experience more intense and still feel like you’re teasing her. A slow build up creates a much better orgasm for us girls.

Most women are very sensitive to touch, including touch performed by the tongue, so start gently and see what your woman wants. The clitoris in particular is packed full of nerve endings so make sure you listen to her signals.

Try not to rush into licking the clitoris, and when you do be gentle – especially if she’s not fully aroused yet.

Get creative with your tongue

Diagram Of The Vagina And Clitoris for oral sexThe key to giving a woman good oral sex is to keep moving your tongue. If you’re not sure how, keep it flat and soft, and lick up from the bottom of the labia up to her clitoris.

You can do an up and down motion, side to side, or even better – a slow, lingering mixture of both at the start.

It’s important to use the flatter and softer top part of your tongue – especially at the start when she may not be fully aroused, and not ready for the additional pressure and speed that the tip can bring.

If you flick away as hard and fast as possible right from the start, it might just feel too sensitive and put her off.

Vary your movements

You can try spelling out the alphabet over different areas with your tongue – this keeps the tongue moving in different directions. And don’t forget to change the pace – get faster and more intense if she likes it.

The classic advice with the alphabet techniques is that if you find a ‘letter movement’ that she responds well to, then you can keep repeating that letter for a while.

You might occasionally want to gently suck her clitoris, as the suction can give a different sensation. Some women will love this, some won’t. And even a girl that likes it one day might not the next day.

You need to be ready to change, be creative, be flexible and keep working at finding what tongue movements, pressure and speed work on a particular girl, on a particular day in a particular setting!

And remember it’s not just the clitoris you need to focus on. Draw that alphabet large over the whole area, then medium and small around different parts. Women enjoy the whole area being licked, kissed and touched, so don’t get fixated just on the clitoris.

Don’t forget about your hands

When giving a woman oral sex, try to get yourself into a position where your hands are free to add an extra element. If you’re able to caress her body and breasts while giving oral, she’ll enjoy it so much more.

If you can gently caress her thighs, stomach, chest and arms with your finger tips while giving her oral sex, you’ll be able to tap into multiple erogenous zones all at the same time and send sparks flying in her body.

You can also use one hand to slightly lift up the ‘hood’ of the clitoris and reveal the more sensitive part for your tongue to stimulate. Make sure you learn where this is.

If you’re good at multitasking, why not add your fingers into the action and try to stimulate her G-Spot? Most women enjoy the build up, so try to learn when she’s ready for you to use your fingers as well to intensify the pleasure to the next level.

If you go straight in with the fingers at the start then you might ruin the potential for an orgasm that a steady build up brings. If in doubt, don’t insert a finger until she’s naturally already wet and moaning with pleasure.

Experiment with different positions

the number 69, a great position to give a woman oral sexTry different techniques and see what works for you. Perhaps you’d like to introduce some new positions (such as the 69 where you both perform oral sex to each other at the same time, or the man on top and in control).

Whatever you do, mix it up and don’t make things feel like a routine. If she doesn’t quite know what’s coming next, she’ll be even more turned on, whether the oral sex is for foreplay or for orgasm.

Find the best technique and don’t stop!

It’s obviously not always easy for you to speak to her while you perform oral sex, so listen to the sounds she makes. We women can be a bit shy, but generally most like to talk and say what we like.

If your girl isn’t a talker though, check for signs she’s enjoying it, such as heavier breathing or moaning. And if she’s holding the top of your head, she may grip harder as she’s closer to climaxing.

Look for signals that tell you she’s really turned on, and don’t suddenly stop or change what you’re doing if she’s clearly really into it.

At the start, it’s fine to play around and experiment with different actions and techniques. But once you’ve teased her and gotten her warmed up, it’s time to settle on the technique that will give her an orgasm and not stop until she gets there.

By this point, your jaw may be aching and your tongue might feel numb, but persistence will pay off. If she’s enjoying it, then stopping as she’s building towards climax just because you have neck ache or a sore jaw isn’t cool!

And nothing beats a bit of feedback, so ask her afterwards if she liked it, and she might offer some tips to make next time even more intense.


Hopefully you’ll see now that the key to giving a girl oral sex is to not expect any one thing to work from one time to the next.

You need to be flexible, creative and responsive. If she doesn’t tell you exactly what works, you need to find out yourself by observing how she reacts to different techniques.

And perhaps most importantly, when you know what works for her, once you decide to focus on that technique, just keep doing it until she reaches orgasm.

Enjoy the practice, enjoy the experimenting, and enjoy the great feeling when you magically work out exactly what she needs to have orgasms.

More ideas

If you’d like to find out about even more ways to give your partner amazing oral sex, I highly recommend reading ‘Lick by Lick’, written by the respected sex expert Michael Webb.

He explores the finer details of what really makes great oral sex, and gives you lots of great ideas and techniques to try.

Check out the Lick by Lick oral sex guide >>


  • Hi I loved the input , I wanna ask how can I convince my girl that oral sex is amazing , she says she will not like when I will be licking her vagina …. We have been in relationship since 4 years but still I m clueless about her feelings related to oral sex…guide me

    • Hi there
      Thanks for your comment. That’s a tricky one! I think if she’s really against the idea, you need to think why that might be. Maybe she’s shy, maybe she has a complex about how she looks, smells or feels down there. My advice would be not to pressure her, but spend a few weeks really making her feel good about herself when you’re together. Then maybe slowly but surely spend more time kissing her whole body, working within her limits of what’s comfortable. It may be that if you make her feel like you think she, and her body, and amazing, little by little she’ll allow you to do it naturally one day. Just go slow, don’t make a big issue of it, and get her used to your tongue being a little closer each day.
      Just an idea for you!

    • Well I don’t know exactly the reason, but I probably feels she doesn’t let you go down on her probably cos she loves you and respects you, it’s jus the same when you have a good heart and wudnt let you gf give you a bj cos you feel it’s disgusting thinking from a boys point of view, it’s the same story for girls

  • I have never performed oral sex before ( I’m guy btw) and I would like to know what your beginner tips would be for me, thanks

    • Hi Noah
      I think the advice in the article can be useful for a beginner or someone who’s new to it. But I think a common mistake guys make is to try and locate the clitoris and give it as much tongue action as possible from the start. But that’s a mistake. Really take your time before getting there – kiss the stomach, legs and area around the vagina. Go slow and sensual. Then lick the vagina very gently in an upwards stroke, try the alphabet method – but gently – and then lick the clitoris a bit more strongly if you feel she’s getting nicely warmed up. And then build up from there…

  • Well my girlfriend and I have been dating for the past year and a half, and she has been involved with multiple partners who were all excellent love makers. Me on the other hand, I have no experience in that area. (Virgin)

    So basically, I got her warmed up. She likes neck biting and kissing, so that’s what I did. With her on top of me, we began lightly kissing till be gradually built tempo, till she was exposing her neck for me to bite. I nibble and play with the left and right sides of her neck, until her breathing changed, with us where I transitioned to mild ass and boob fondling. I was doing extremely well for my first time. (I had been researching for a while.) She took off her shirt, and I helped un-do her bra, and I lightly began to suck, nibble, and play with both of her breasts. She was really enjoying it… but then I asked: “Would you like me to go down on you?”
    Here’s where I think I fucked up. Her reply was: “Sure? I’m a little nervous… and I’m not going to be looking.”
    So with her permission, I took off her shorts and underwear and repeated everything I had just done before I got to that point. (That was the first time I had seen of felt a pussy in real life [still is] but I didn’t hesitate to go down on her.) So I parted her legs and gazed at her shaven mound and it was quite a magnificent sight to see. Her pussy was absolutely drooling and I was feeling really proud of myself at that point, so I go to town. (Side note^ she has told me that she doesn’t cum from clitoral stimulation, but mainly g-spot stimulation) So I start off to high and she immediately corrects my mistake and guides me to her clit so I start teasing around it. She then tells me to focus everything I’m doing with my mouth DIRECTLY on her clit. Meanwhile.. with my left hand, I have two fingers making the “come to me” motion in the inside. THEN SHE TELLS ME TO ADD A THIRD?! (this is where I completely fuck up I think) I dead ass stop, and look at her chuckling… I’m like: “A third?” And she tells me nervously, yeah. So I put in my ring finger. (Another side note^ she is REALLY tight, and her vagina was super slippery, so I had a hard time getting my two fingers in there, let alone a third. I didn’t want to hurt her so I didn’t go as deep as she was asking me to go.) This continues for about ten minutes. My erection is completely gone, my left arm was cramping up, and I was overall tired and about to tap out, when I here my house door open and we have to immediately stop. In the end, she told me that I did great until we got to the actual “oral” part which is where I sucked ass at.

    I need your help. I need more techniques so that I can better please my partner.

    I even tried the alphabet method whern I was down there.

    Chris ~

    • Hi Chris
      Thanks for your comment. To be honest, I think you did just fine for a first time! It’s a shame you got disturbed by someone coming home as I’m sure you would have had plenty of fun afterwards.
      It sounds like your girlfriend knows exactly what she likes and isn’t afraid to be direct. And since you’re just getting started with all this, that’s great as she’ll be able to help you learn quicker.
      Here are some points that spring to mind reading your story:
      1. Don’t allow her to make you feel bad about what you do. If she continually tells you you suck, unless you have that kind of jokey relationship, I’d be questioning the relationship…
      2. Don’t be afraid to do the things she suggests. Unless you’re really not into her suggestions, be open-minded and just go with it.
      3. Yeah, fingers, hand, wrist, arm, shoulders, neck and tongue can all suffer during prolonged oral sex! For me, I’ve learned to position us both well before starting to reduce that effect. But it’s a sacrifice we make to please our partner – kind of like them choking on our penis…
      4. Don’t expect to me able to make her orgasm just because you’ve read some great techniques. Even with all the knowledge in the world, unless you get lucky, it can take some practice and depends on her as much as you. So just enjoy it and don’t see her orgasm through oral as the end goal. Just go with it, have fun, and when it all gets too much just go for something else unless it’s clear she’s building towards orgasm.
      5. I’d also say take charge when it comes to oral. If she begs you to put fingers in, make her wait longer. If she begs you for clitoral stimulation, make her wait longer. Anticipation is one of your greatest tools for getting her horny. Now you know better where things are and what she likes, remember when you’re down there – you’re in charge. Listen to her suggestions, but don’t just be her puppet. Do what she likes, but make her wait for it and get excited about it. It’s a fine line to walk, but great when you get it right.
      Hope that helps

      • I don’t remember if I said thank you, but thank you. I talked to her about it and she said that all I needed was practice. We are probably going to have sex for the first time on my birthday. And I’m scared I’m not going to last long. I’m going to check out the other articles you have on this website before I ask for more advice. 😀 Thanks again
        Chris ~

        • Hi Chris
          You’re very welcome! Try not to stress about it – even if you don’t last long, just don’t make a big deal of it. Go back to giving her oral, manual or whatever other things you enjoy together, and then go for a second round later on. You’ll last much longer the second time round. And since it’s your birthday, maybe even having a drink or two will help you relax and deal with the stress better. Just don’t have more than 2 or 3 is my advice!

    • Chris you’re a pro mate! I love your story because the exact, I mean exact same thing happened to me today!, not all of it went that way it was slightly different in terms of her asking questions… But the front door part was spot on! Haha

  • So I have been with my partner for almost two years and we have been having oral sex for about a year. At first, he told me that he has never went down on a girl before, so I am practically his first. He also told me when his collegues advised him on how to do the deed. I really don’t know what they told him, but whatever they said isn’t as good as they think it is. I feel like he roughly sucks the clit. At first it wasn’t painful but now that I know what he is going to do, it is really painful. How do i gently let him know the right way of doing it???

    Secondly, since we have started having oral sex, he has never “comed” while I give him a bj. I have read a couple of articles on the right way to give a bj, videos I have watched but no change. What should i do about this???

    Please help.

    • Hi there
      Thanks for your comment. To be honest, I think it might be helpful for you both to just talk about what works or not. There’s not much point in putting up with painful oral sex! I would just tell him to be gentle with you. You could even just wait until he’s doing it and then stroke his head and say the word “gentle” a few times to give him the message. If he doesn’t relax, then tell him before he starts some time to go slower. He needs to know you’re sensitive there, so tell him to use his tongue at first to lick the whole area rather than suck the clitoris from the start. Then when you’re warmed up, he can maybe try focusing on the clit.
      As for the blowjob, well, to be honest it’s not always easy to make a guy come. It may be that like him, you’re just not doing it in the way that will make him come. It also might be that he just doesn’t come with oral sex, or if he does, it takes a long time.
      One idea would be to ask him if he likes the way you do it, and ask him to tell you if he likes it harder, softer, with or without teeth, faster, slower, deeper etc. Then maybe he’ll also ask you what you like – that would be ideal! If not, you can tell him anyway at the end of the conversation.
      Hope that helps

      • I guess it depends on the guy! I personally don’t find gagging or drooling turns me on, but having said that I can see why some guys might. For me, the best thing is when the woman really makes a tight seal with her mouth and puts some suction on my penis. If it’s just a soft, gentle blowjob it doesn’t do much for me. I also like it if we’re both feeling very horny and my partner lets me take control, grab her hair and ‘use’ her mouth rather than just sit back and hope she does it right. But that’s just me and my partner who enjoys that level of domination!

    • Hi Tom,
      You can do that, yes. Depending on the person, she may love it or just find it another pleasant part of the overall experience. I wouldn’t spend too much time on it, but its definitely a good thing to throw into the mix.

    • i want guys to know its ok to find yourself licking around the anus, I found that women go crazy don’t spend a lot of time there but if she likes oral she will be turned on.

    • Hi Lucy
      Yes! I couldn’t agree more. This is also confirmed by sex surveys which show that women’s main complaint about their sex life is not enough foreplay, manual and oral stimulation before sex.

    • Hi Stephen
      Yes, definitely. Although after she orgasms, she might find it too sensitive to continue and prefer to stop.

  • Hi!
    I have given oral I few times before but I have encountered a little problem; I don’t really like the taste or the smell and it annoys me because I really want to give my gf pleasure. It is not that I dislike oral at all, but I can’t stand the taste/smell, what can I do?

    • Hi Abi
      Hmmm, yes this can be a tricky one. Perhaps have showers or baths together and get her horny at that time, then she’ll be as clean as possible when you give her oral. Otherwise, most people do just have to put up with some smell and taste which can be strong at times. That’s just the way it is, and you’ll probably find she’s also putting up with your smell and taste sometimes!

    • You can use a dental dam, encourage her to practice safe sex and then toss it into the mix. This way you won’t have to deal with the taste/smell. Good luck!

  • am 59 years old the last girl friend I had was 15 years ago Iv just kept my self to my self but it’s time
    to have some fun am not getting any younger the truth is I never done oral sex to a lady am a bit worried about STDs in my mouth I’ve seen pictures on here and what you can get from it by licking a woman’s vagina is there anything I can cover it with?

    • Hi Philip
      There’s nothing you can cover it with! If you’re that worried, then you can ask your partner to get an STD test with you before having sex. Some people do ask their new partner to do that.

      • Actually there is! Look up dental dams. They’re definitely something more popular in the lesbian community, but no reason men can’t try them too!

        • Hi Kathleen
          Wow, I didn’t even know they existed. Just looked them up online now – I can’t imagine someone being particularly flattered by you wanting to use one if you’ve only just met, but at least it’s an option. Thanks!

  • Hi

    I am 36 years old man, I don’t like to make oral sex for my partner, although i am sure she wants this.
    give me please some tips to avoid feeling disgusting with oral sex.

    one more thing, my partner is very beautiful and sexy, but i am not feeling excited to her as before, meanwhile, i am feeling excited to another women and those women are not beautiful and sexy as she is.

    I am really feeling bad, please help and advice

    • Hi Sam
      That’s a difficult one to be honest! If you find it disgusting, is it a physical thing or mental? Lots of people don’t really love giving oral sex in terms of the action itself. But, you can learn to love it through the pleasure you give your partner. It’s great to be able to give pleasure to your partner in a way that’s selfless, as it’s all about them in that moment.
      As for your second question, well I guess you need to ask yourself how much your really like the first person. If you’re disgusted by the thought of giving them oral sex, you’re not excited by them and you’re into someone else, that doesn’t look very good to me at all. Maybe you need to be honest and decide whether both you and your partner would be better off not together so you can both find someone who is really well suited.
      Having said that, if you love your partner, perhaps you’re just having a difficult moment and it’s something to work through. If that’s the case, I’d remind myself that it’s normal for feelings to fluctuate in a relationship. But that doesn’t mean they won’t come back or can’t be nurtured.

    • Hi there
      The signs will be different for different women. But she might: tense her body as she approaches orgasm, thrust her vagina more on to your mouth, grab the bed sheets or your body, make louder sounds, breathe more heavily and faster etc.
      You will just know when she has an orgasm! And as the saying goes, if you have to ask her – she probably didn’t! However, with oral sex, you can usually tell from a pulsing feeling that happens in her body around the area.

  • Like Don above there are many men who enjoy pleasuring a woman orally.
    There are fewer that prefer it over all else but again like Don I am also one of them. To give pleasure on an intimate level like this is my favorite thing to do. This article had enlightened me a bit more with some tips on how to pefect my technique. Thanks so much for the info.
    Also I want to say in my experience teasing a woman by not directly putting pressure on her clit only the areas around it for a period of time has given them a much stronger orgasm. I tend to indirectly touch it only slightly until she pretty much forces my toungue on her clit.

    • Hi Rick
      Thanks for your comment. I think you’re right in that most men might enjoy it, but not more than sex. But some do just really love giving that kind of pleasure to their partner.
      I’m glad you enjoyed the article, and thanks for also sharing your tip. I agree that some teasing around the area can go a long way towards heightening the eventual orgasm.

  • I’ve received oral a number of times, but I’ve never come before, mainly because when he’s down there doing it, it’s so intense I have to beg him to stop, but at the same time I really want him to finish the job. Is this normal?

    • Hi Jemma
      Thanks for your comment. Many guys unfortunately just don’t know how to give oral sex properly. Either because they haven’t been taught by a woman or because they haven’t done enough research, which is easy to do these days with the internet and all the guides written to help guys understand the intricacies of good oral sex.
      It may be too intense either because you’re just very sensitive, or because he’s going too hard and fast on the clitoris from early on. Maybe you need to tell the guy to go slow and soft to start with – most guys appreciate a bit of guidance because we secretly really, really want to make you happy when we do it. So in my opinion it’s better just to tell the guy to go easy and build up if it’s all too much for you.

  • I have been with a married women for 6 years and sex is great. She crazy about me giving her oral sex. My tongue runs her crazy in bed. But I wonder why she doesn’t hold or touch me after she cums or after that big organism. She gets sexually distance. I also have to ask her to give me oral. But when she does I can’t cum it takes me a very long time.

    • Hi Ed
      Thanks for your comment. It’s quite normal for a woman to feel totally relaxed after an orgasm and want to enjoy the moment. The best thing you can do is just keep quiet and hold her tight, giving her some gentle caressing maybe.
      You may also find she’s a bit nervous about doing it in return if it takes you a very long time to cum. Some women do find it uncomfortable giving oral for extended periods of time. Maybe ask her honestly how she feels about it and see what she says. Maybe you’ll have to settle for a mixture of manual, oral and normal sex instead of hoping she’s happy to have you in her mouth for ages!
      So my advice would be to have an open chat about what’s working or not for you both.

  • My girlfriend and I are pretty experimental when it comes to sex I’d say we trust each other a lot and are pretty comfortable in the sheets. For her birthday we agreed to some mild bondage. I wouldn’t give to much detail but let her know I had an idea to see if she was interested. So with saying that is there any advice as far as oral stand up or just any ideas that I may not have thought of.

    • Hi Cody
      Something that works really well is if you have her tied or restrained, then spend a loooong time kissing all of her body and teasing her – move up and down the body, and each time you go to give her oral, don’t actually do it. Just tease repeatedly and make her really want it. Then each time you move back to that area you can slowly give more and more oral each time, before stopping again. It can drive her wild with desire for it, so that when you finally settle into giving some serious oral, she will be very, very turned on.

  • Am 26. Pls, what can I do in order to have sex for longer? I hardly last 5min in sex, because of this I do spend a lot of time in romance before making attempts to have sex. I noticed this happens whenever my partner needs me to put more pressure. Thanks

    • Hi Denis
      To last longer, there are two main approaches. One if to practice natural techniques and the other is to use more immediate solutions like a delay spray. If you go to the homepage, you’ll find advice on which one might help you most and why both together can be useful.
      I’d also suggest that you really learn as much as you can about oral sex, as this can be a great way to buy yourself extra time. I like to stop in the middle of sex sometimes and give oral if I’m feeling over-stimulated. And if you’re good at oral, she’ll love you for this. As for more pressure, yes doing it faster and harder will make you come faster. Try doing that in the spoons positions though – it allows for deeper penetration, but is easier for the guy to withstand.

      • My girl friend is soo sexy and beautiful…i dont know if she likes oral sex or not..i like oral i even tried 2 to 3 times..but she doesnt response or doesnt go wild…how to make wild by oral sex…cn u plz hlp me..

        • Hi there
          To be honest, most women don’t exactly go wild during oral sex. In my experience, it’s more of a case of they lie there, relax and enjoy what you’re doing. If you do it right, once they get really turned on, sure they might start moaning, writhing around or grabbing the bed sheets or your head. But often they can be quite quiet until they get quite close to orgasm unless they are a naturally loud person during sexual activity anyway.
          Why don’t you ask her if she enjoys what you do? Ask her what you could do to make it better for her if she enjoys oral sex but you’re not quite hitting her buttons. And also make sure you really read up on doing the techniques correctly. The more knowledge you have, the less practice you’ll need to find something which she really enjoys.

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