Do you and your partner enjoy oral sex, but you’re not quite sure if you’ve quite mastered this sometimes mysterious art?
Perhaps you haven’t had an opportunity yet, but want to be sure you get it just right when that magical moment arrives.
Oral sex is arguably an essential part of great foreplay, but can be so much more than that – your tongue has the capacity to give a woman toe-curling orgasms.
It’s also a great way to prime your partner and raise her arousal levels, which then reduces the pressure on you to last for a long time when having sex.
In this article, I’ll be teaching you guys how to give a girl oral sex properly, as well as helping you work out what your own partner likes and hopes you’ll do more of.
Everyone is different
It’s really important to remember that everyone is different – what pleases one woman might not tick the right boxes for another.
Perhaps the best piece of advice is to get down (literally) to some serious trial and error. Remember to communicate your desires and simply enjoy the process of getting to know each other.
We girls love receiving oral sex, but you won’t know for sure if the techniques you read in a book or website will work unless you give them a go. Once you’ve read some advice about what women want, test it out and see if your partner enjoys it.
Whatever your partner finds pleasurable is exactly what you need to be doing. Don’t just repeat a trick or style you read, heard or found worked on someone else.
It’s fine to start out with movements you know work for some women, but if isn’t met by moaning or other signs of pleasure, abandon it and move onto the next.
Don’t skip or rush oral sex
Many guys tend to skip past performing oral sex for their partner, or only do it briefly in the hope of receiving some oral in return.
This a mistake though, and sexually selfish if you ask me – a skillful lover should be generous and show his partner that her pleasure is important to him.
And giving oral sex is a key ingredient for turning a woman on, bringing her arousal level up to yours, and therefore ensuring that she enjoys the sexual encounter as much as you do.
If you keep in mind my tips for giving a girl good oral sex and take the time to get it right, you’ll bring some extra spice to the bedroom and satisfy her as much as she deserves.
Don’t rush in
Perhaps you don’t really enjoy giving oral sex? Or maybe you’re just a little unsure about what to do exactly.
This can lead to the classic mistake of diving straight in, with your tongue flicking away like a cat with a fresh bowl of milk.
However, what we really want is for you to start nice and slowly, tease us and build up steadily.
Kiss her lips, neck and make your way down her body until you’re kissing her inner thighs. Try and make eye contact as much as possible, and position yourself in a comfortably position that allows you to caress her breasts, body and arms.
The idea is to turn her on before you even start the oral sex and make her tingle all over. A bit of teasing works really well here. A lot of teasing can be magic.
Build up gradually
When you begin to kiss and lick during oral sex, work your way in slowly from the outside. This will make the experience more intense and still feel like you’re teasing her. A slow build up creates a much better orgasm for us girls.
Most women are very sensitive to touch, including touch performed by the tongue, so start gently and see what your woman wants. The clitoris in particular is packed full of nerve endings so make sure you listen to her signals.
Try not to rush into licking the clitoris, and when you do be gentle – especially if she’s not fully aroused yet.
Get creative with your tongue
You can do an up and down motion, side to side, or even better – a slow, lingering mixture of both at the start.
It’s important to use the flatter and softer top part of your tongue – especially at the start when she may not be fully aroused, and not ready for the additional pressure and speed that the tip can bring.
If you flick away as hard and fast as possible right from the start, it might just feel too sensitive and put her off.
Vary your movements
You can try spelling out the alphabet over different areas with your tongue – this keeps the tongue moving in different directions. And don’t forget to change the pace – get faster and more intense if she likes it.
The classic advice with the alphabet techniques is that if you find a ‘letter movement’ that she responds well to, then you can keep repeating that letter for a while.
You might occasionally want to gently suck her clitoris, as the suction can give a different sensation. Some women will love this, some won’t. And even a girl that likes it one day might not the next day.
You need to be ready to change, be creative, be flexible and keep working at finding what tongue movements, pressure and speed work on a particular girl, on a particular day in a particular setting!
And remember it’s not just the clitoris you need to focus on. Draw that alphabet large over the whole area, then medium and small around different parts. Women enjoy the whole area being licked, kissed and touched, so don’t get fixated just on the clitoris.
Don’t forget about your hands
When giving a woman oral sex, try to get yourself into a position where your hands are free to add an extra element. If you’re able to caress her body and breasts while giving oral, she’ll enjoy it so much more.
If you can gently caress her thighs, stomach, chest and arms with your finger tips while giving her oral sex, you’ll be able to tap into multiple erogenous zones all at the same time and send sparks flying in her body.
You can also use one hand to slightly lift up the ‘hood’ of the clitoris and reveal the more sensitive part for your tongue to stimulate. Make sure you learn where this is.
If you’re good at multitasking, why not add your fingers into the action and try to stimulate her G-Spot? Most women enjoy the build up, so try to learn when she’s ready for you to use your fingers as well to intensify the pleasure to the next level.
If you go straight in with the fingers at the start then you might ruin the potential for an orgasm that a steady build up brings. If in doubt, don’t insert a finger until she’s naturally already wet and moaning with pleasure.
Experiment with different positions
Try different techniques and see what works for you. Perhaps you’d like to introduce some new positions (such as the 69 where you both perform oral sex to each other at the same time, or the man on top and in control).
Whatever you do, mix it up and don’t make things feel like a routine. If she doesn’t quite know what’s coming next, she’ll be even more turned on, whether the oral sex is for foreplay or for orgasm.
Find the best technique and don’t stop!
It’s obviously not always easy for you to speak to her while you perform oral sex, so listen to the sounds she makes. We women can be a bit shy, but generally most like to talk and say what we like.
If your girl isn’t a talker though, check for signs she’s enjoying it, such as heavier breathing or moaning. And if she’s holding the top of your head, she may grip harder as she’s closer to climaxing.
Look for signals that tell you she’s really turned on, and don’t suddenly stop or change what you’re doing if she’s clearly really into it.
At the start, it’s fine to play around and experiment with different actions and techniques. But once you’ve teased her and gotten her warmed up, it’s time to settle on the technique that will give her an orgasm and not stop until she gets there.
By this point, your jaw may be aching and your tongue might feel numb, but persistence will pay off. If she’s enjoying it, then stopping as she’s building towards climax just because you have neck ache or a sore jaw isn’t cool!
And nothing beats a bit of feedback, so ask her afterwards if she liked it, and she might offer some tips to make next time even more intense.
Hopefully you’ll see now that the key to giving a girl oral sex is to not expect any one thing to work from one time to the next.
You need to be flexible, creative and responsive. If she doesn’t tell you exactly what works, you need to find out yourself by observing how she reacts to different techniques.
And perhaps most importantly, when you know what works for her, once you decide to focus on that technique, just keep doing it until she reaches orgasm.
Enjoy the practice, enjoy the experimenting, and enjoy the great feeling when you magically work out exactly what she needs to have orgasms.
If you’d like to find out about even more ways to give your partner amazing oral sex, I highly recommend reading ‘Lick by Lick’, written by the respected sex expert Michael Webb.
He explores the finer details of what really makes great oral sex, and gives you lots of great ideas and techniques to try.