Reverse Kegels – 8 Steps To Doing Them Correctly

Reverse kegels are a relatively new concept, and one which seems to cause as much confusion as quantum physics. Despite the mystery though, reverse kegels are a potentially useful technique you can use to last longer during sex.

And in my experience, it’s more useful than relying on doing a super human strength normal kegel hold at the critical point of no return. Let’s face it – there’s a reason it’s called the point of no return.

In this article, you’ll learn exactly how to do reverse kegels and why they’re important to do alongside normal kegels.

I’ll also suggest how to add the reverse version to the routine described in my complete guide to kegels.

How to do reverse kegels

The physical ‘how to’ is the part that guys usually struggle with the most. It can be tricky to work out precisely which muscles to use, and then what to do with those muscles. There are four main reasons I think guys have problems with this:

  • Maybe you haven’t done enough normal kegels, which are easier, and so you don’t understand the muscles involved.
  • The movement you need to do is a bit weird, so you may be unsure if it’s right or not.
  • Even when you do them, you might question how it can help you last longer.
  • The internet doesn’t have much good or reliable information on the topic.

So I’ll explain my version of doing a reverse kegel and try to help you deal with the above issues.

First of all learn normal kegels

Your first port of call should really be to learn how to do a normal kegel. Reverse kegels are targeting the same muscles, but in reverse, as the name suggests.

These aren’t muscles you normally have an awareness of, and it can take time to develop the ability to either squeeze or relax them. And it’s much easier to develop the first stages of control through doing normal kegels.

So if you get the hang of normal ones, you’ll have a much better chance of being sure you’re doing reverse kegels correctly. Check out my guide above if you haven’t already been working on normal kegels.

You may also find it helpful to look at my detailed explanation of how to locate the Bulbocavernosus muscle and Pubococcygeus muscle.

Step by step guide to doing reverse kegels

Assuming then that you’ve already done normal kegels before, here’s my 8 step guide to doing reverse kegels correctly:

Step 1

Remember the classic kegel instructions about stopping yourself in the middle of peeing? This time, when you go for a pee try to gently force it out faster instead.

This is basically a reverse kegel of the key muscle – the Bulbocavernosus muscle – located at the base of the penis. You only need to do this once to get an idea for what it feels like. After that don’t try forcing out your pee any more and continue on to the next steps.

Step 2

Sit comfortably in a chair and relax for a few moments. Now gently try to simulate the muscle movement you would make if trying to do a poo or fart.

Obviously, don’t actually do either of those though!

This movement will be doing a reverse kegel of the Pubococcygeus muscle. Though it will also probably engage the Bulbocavernosus muscle as well.

Note: It’s unclear how important it is to be able to do a reverse kegel with both the front and back muscles. In my experience, the front one (Bulbocavernosus muscle) is more effective in controlling ejaculation.

However, it’s good to try to learn both as you may find that you need to focus on relaxing the entire area to develop any kind of control. Isolating them takes a lot of practice, so for now don’t worry if the whole area moves when practicing. Better control should develop naturally in time.

Step 3

Did you notice in both of these steps that you probably tensed and pushed out your stomach muscles? Especially your lower stomach muscles? If not, do them again and see how your tummy will push out.

Step 4

Now it’s time to add some breathing. Do the same steps again, but this time breathe in while doing them and allow your belly to rise. This is called breathing from the diaphragm.

Most people breathe by expanding their chest. But you can also breathe by expanding your stomach instead. You should find that doing this helps focus the movement on the front muscles between the testicles and anus.

Step 5

Now you can put it all together. Do the simulated peeing and pooing motion, but also breathing out slowly from your belly, whilst keeping some light tension in the belly.

With the breathing and tensing, you should feel much more able to isolate the muscles and do a good reverse kegel. It does take practice though, so keep at it. You can try this for a few minutes a day until you get it right.

Step 6

Now for the really tricky part. Can you do the reverse kegel without the help of breathing and tensing?

This can take a lot of practice, and even then you may never be able to do it without at least a little tension and stomach expansion. That’s fine, just try to reduce how much you rely on using the stomach to get the job done.

The key point here is that you need to be really relaxed. This might sound a bit alternative, but you need to mentally go inside your body and visualize the muscles relaxing and pushing out slightly.

Breathe slowly, deeply and relaxed while doing so, and try to focus on the area where the muscles are. Allow them to relax just by keeping your mind on them and trying to gently encourage them with your muscle control.

Step 7

Now’s the time for some real practice. While masturbating you can try to do 3 different things. Do normal kegels and see what effect it has on your sense of control. Then try reverse kegels and see what happens to your physical arousal and control. Then try to just relax the whole area.

There’s no set way to do this, and it involves some experimenting and creativity from you. In my experience it took a couple of weeks of playing around with the concept 3 or 4 times a week.

Eventually I discovered that keeping relaxed was best. And when I felt tension creeping in, doing a reverse kegel could help restore the relaxation.

Step 8

If you have a partner you can eventually try reverse kegels during sex. In my experience, it’s best to do it when you’re on your back and she’s on top.

That way you have the best chance of relaxing and isolating the correct muscles. Again, it’s down to you to experiment.

Why are reverse kegels important?

This is the most important point you might ever learn about kegels: guys often train an ultra-strong PC or BC muscle because they read somewhere that it can stop them ejaculating.

Then they go crazy and try to hold the muscle as much as possible during sex. Either that or they think it gives them a better erection, so they continually pump it when having sex.

But this is completely wrong. All you’re doing is encouraging yourself to ejaculate sooner. I won’t explain the science behind that, but for now just go with it.

Normal kegel holds should only be done at the very last moment to try to stop yourself ejaculating. Or in the beginning to help yourself get a good erection. If you’re trying to last longer, then at all other times during sex you should keep the PC and BC muscles relaxed.

And doing reverse kegels is one way to accomplish this for three reasons:

  • By training reverse kegels along with normal ones, you develop balance and control of the pelvic floor muscles.
  • If you aren’t able to keep relaxed during sex, then actively doing the motion of reverse kegels can help to achieve the relaxed pelvic floor you need to be able to last longer.
  • If you train it to a high level, you may be able to do reverse kegels so well that you can stop yourself ejaculating. You can do this before the point of no return and it’s usually more successful than waiting until the point when you need to do normal kegels.

So in some ways you’re giving yourself two opposite weapons in the battle. You can do reverse kegels and keep relaxed as much as possible. Then if it all fails, switch to a normal kegel squeeze just before the moment of no return.

And finally, doing reverse kegels can help stop you from over-training and creating an imbalance in your pelvic floor. To reap all the benefits of kegels, you must work on balance and control, not pure strength.

A reverse kegel routine

This is a common request made by guys, and one which has no definitive answer. As with kegels, nobody has ever claimed to be the world authority on a precise routine. So you’re left to use common sense or follow someone else’s routine.

In the previous article that I mentioned earlier I described a 4 week basic kegels routine. I suggest that you read that and then try these plans:

Plan A

You can do each normal kegel routine each day as described. Then at the end spend 2 or 3 minutes practicing reverse kegels. They should be done much slower than normal ones – the aim is relaxation remember?

So you could for example do this:

  • Sit or lie down and relax for a minute.
  • Take a deep breath.
  • Breathe in for the count of 4 seconds and do a reverse kegel. Either with or without tension and belly breathing. Do whichever you can manage.
  • Stop, relax and breathe out for 4 seconds.
  • Repeat 9 more times, to make 10 sets.
  • Do the same again, but this time breathing in for 6 seconds. Breathing out normally at the end of each 6 seconds.
  • Now try and do the reverse kegel 10 times with normal breathing. See how much harder it is when you’re breathing out?
  • Finally hold the relaxed pushing out feeling for 30 seconds or as long as you can.

This is only a basic example routine, and you can add more sets and times to it as you get better at it.

Plan B

This time instead of doing the reverse kegels after the normal ones, you can do them alternately. Again it’s up to you to decide how to mix the sets, and it doesn’t really matter to be honest. Just don’t overdo it and you can’t really go wrong.

Plan C

The final way is to do the normal kegal routine on one day, and the reverse routine either at a separate time the same day, or even the next day.

There’s absolutely no evidence suggesting one way is better than another. In my opinion you should aim for variety. Muscles are clever little things, and they adapt to training quickly. So the more you surprise them, the better the results.

Still having trouble identifying the right muscles?

Many guys have left comments saying they just can’t identify the right muscle to use in reverse kegels.

The best way really is to focus on the muscle you need to use to make yourself pee faster. You can play around with the concept a few times to help you.

Another way is to stand up when you have an erection. If you do a normal kegel, you should notice your penis rises slightly or maybe even a lot. If you then do a reverse kegel, you should notice it drops downwards.

More ideas

If you enjoyed this article, you might also be interested in learning about more techniques to last longer. I highly recommend taking a look at my recommended premature ejaculation guides where you can find everything you need all in one place.

230 CommentsLeave a comment

  • For doing reverse kegels, could one start with a mild kegel of 1-2 seconds and the relax the pelvic floor muscles to get the feeling of peeing (or letting go) for 10 seconds and then repeat doing reps of 10.
    This would make the exercises understandable and men would have a method of how to do reverse kegels.

    • Hi there
      Yes, that does make sense to me too. I’ve been meaning to update this article with some more ideas about working out exactly what to do based on a number of comments from guys struggling to understand them. And your idea is one I will be talking about.

  • Hey, here is the question :
    1. when doing reverse kegel should i do Front RK or Back RK ? and whats different ?
    2. While im doing reverse kegel, is it normal if my lower abs expanding(not tensing), have difficult breathing cause that lower abs contracting, and it* starting to erect slowly ? (What is the perfect/right condition)
    3. How does it feel when i hit the right muscle(refer to question 1 too)?

    • Hi Xavien
      Let’s see if I can help:
      1. The front version, which is the one which most impacts on the penis. But to be honest, if you can get the area to relax generally, it’s not so important which version you think you’re doing!
      2. Yes, that can happen.
      3. Well, it feels like a relaxing or dropping down of the area. The best trick is perhaps to stand up with an erection and then do a reverse kegel. If you notice the penis start to lose its angle, strength or rigidity a little, you’re probably doing it right!

  • Can u make the Wrong and Right section ? (reverse kegel). Because its too confusing
    Like this =
    Right :
    -Your penis head feel weird while doing this
    Wrong :
    -if u re tense ur abs

    Your article is good but its not give a specific detail what it feels like if u get the right muscle. That “right” and “wrong” is very important. THX

    • Hi Xavien
      I do have it in mind to update this article soon with some more pointers for understanding how to do it correctly, and I’ll see if I can incorporate your ideas.

  • I didn’t seem to have any problems with premature ejaculations nor erectile dysfuntion until last year. It has been exactly one year the nightmar started. As I was having intercourse with my wife I noticed my penis gave up but I thought it was just a bad day. Hell, I have been having erection problems ever since as well as premature ejaculations. I have been practicing regular Kegels but now that I found this page I am also going to try reverse kegels too. I have better my erections with regular kegels but not to the point where I can have a normal sex life. This situation has been causing issues in my marriage. I suggest you all to use “The Sensual Tea”. It is believed to be one of the only natural treatments fo help erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculations, both in one. It is also very affordable and you can find it in Europe as well as in America; cheers.

  • Hi Ethan ,

    Please help me .

    Each time i get a sexual urge i also get a desire to urinate .

    i am a 55 yr old otherwise healthy male , married , professional , happy and two adult kids .

    Looking back , i have had this problem for over 7 years but it got progressively worse,because the time between the erection and wanting to pee moved from i hr to 2minutes .

    i have been to 3 urologists ; i took medication and tests for all kinds of infection, cancer, growth, blockage etc …..and even meds for that part of my brain that controlled the process. Tablets didnt work and all the tests say that i am okay .

    The last doctor advised that i do kegel exercises which made my erection stronger but the problem persisted … ie the urge to urinate . A friend has asked me to do reversed kegels and that is how i found your site .

    i would surely try it but would this benefit me ? what will ?

    i cherish your reply

    • Hi Allan
      To be honest. I think reverse kegels might have the opposite effect and make things worse, so I would avoid them. I wish I could think of something that would be help, but I don’t know! I think if the doctor told you to do kegels, that’s probably the best advice. However, maybe you could also do a small amount of reverse kegels to keep a balance in the pelvic muscles. But really, it’s normal kegels that can stop the feeling of urination more than reverse.

    • Hi Benjur
      To ho honest, I would expect that to happen more with a normal kegel hold. A reverse kegel would normally make the area relax and drop, not expand. Is it a very visible effect though, as in, can you control it? Or is there just small small movement when you’re doing the kegels?

  • Should I push out really strong? My lower abs were sore the next day but I don’t know if I actually stretched the pelvic floor…

    • Hi there
      Definitely not. If you’re pushing that strongly, you’re not doing it right at all. It’s a subtle movement, and not one which requires continuous physical exertion. The pushing is a method to identify the muscles, not a constant technique to develop them.

  • Hi Ethan,

    It all started few years ago( almost 5 years ago). I was good on bed, I never used to last for hours but I was pretty good. I never felt I had to cum when my girl gave me oral and I remember having sexy for more than half hour.

    Then I was looking how to perform better sexually, I came across this thing called Kegels. I started doing them and I realized they made my erections stronger and
    I could go longer and multiple times. I was so impressed, I started doing all the time. While driving, at work during meetings.I was pulling my penis
    in unconciously because I was so used to doing Kegels.

    Not sure when it started to get worse, but I wouldn’t last that longer any more. I realized I am never relaxed during sex or masturbation. I am always squeezing the shit out of my penis. I try so hard not to cum, I squeeze even harder. I end up cuming anyways. A Lot of times, I felt like I had to cum few seconds after started having sex. I came couple of times with a blow job. Its terrible.

    When I workout, doing squats or deadlifts, I feel like my dick is always sore. My prostrate area is sore.

    Squeezing in my PC muscles, I think also lead to few other problems. I now have to urinate a lot more times than I used to with lesser quantity. My urine stream is weaker and sometimes I urinate very little. I feel like I have less control.

    Please help me Ethan. I would owe you my life. This made my life terrible.

    Thank you,

    • Hi Josh
      Sorry to hear you’ve had such a big problem due to the kegels. I think you’re possibly in the right place, looking at doing reverse kegels. The first thing I would say is totally stop doing any normal kegels. You also mentioned that during sex you now squeeze even harder to try to hold back. You need to stop that too, because squeezing a normal kegel during sex all the time can make you come quicker. It’s only supposed to be used right before the point of no return.
      So, perhaps doing reverse kegels instead will help. You might find it difficult at first, having done so many normal kegels. So I’d also suggest doing other more general relaxation exercises – anything you think you can stick with. Yoga, meditation, gentle stretching, breathing exercises. Anything you can think of to bring your body and mind’s tension down.
      I also think perhaps it’s worth talking to a urologist. If you’re having problems with urination because of this, it might be worth getting a professional opinion. I know that might sound awkward, but there’s no harm in getting some advice.
      I hope that helps

  • Hi!
    I’ve recently started doing Kegels on a regular basis and I was wondering if it is ok to do them with an erection. I can feel my PC muscle pushing out much better when I am doing reverse kegels like that. Is it normal that the head of the penis is fully pumped by doing reverse kegels?
    And when having sex should I do reverse Kegls while thrusting or stay in “relax” mode.
    Thank you!

    • Hi Pauli
      Yes, you can do kegels with an erection if you choose. Just go easy and don’t do too many, too hard and too often. I don’t notice the head pumping when I do reverse kegels personally. And when having sex, I’d try to stat relaxed – if you get too aroused, try reverse kegels to reduce the arousal, and if you get to the point of no return, do normal kegels just before as a last resort.
      I hope that helps!

  • Hey Ethan
    I have been doing reverse kegels and kegels for about three weeks now.
    I’m still not sure Iøm doing the reverse kegels correctly – I’m for example still flexing my abs when I do it, and I can’t help it. I’m also a little unsure about how to do it by following your steps.
    I have tried, but I actually ended up only trying to pee real hard. That would say the difference between me doing a kegel and me doing a reverse kegel is, that I do the “stop-peeing” motion when I do kegels and then try to pee real hard doing a reverse kegel.
    Am I doing the reverse kegels correctly then?

    Also; Do I have to breathe in or out doing reverse kegels or does it really matter?


    • Hi Dan
      I know it’s quite tricky getting reverse kegels right – sorry if my instructions haven’t helped much. Technically, what you describe is correct. However, the idea is to be able to relax those muscles without pushing any other muscles or feeling like you need to pee. And that can take time to develop. My advice would be to focus on relaxing the whole area for now rather than pushing or peeing. If you do a normal kegel, then look at what you need to make that kegel go away as quickly and fully as possible – that’s another way of working out what the reverse kegel does – literally reversing the kegel you were previously doing.

  • Hello greetings from Singapore. I’ve been practicing Kegel and Reverse Kegel for a couple days now. I am still not quite sure but I am starting to feel the difference between front and back muscles. I feel the front one by flexing my lower abs, like when i’m trying to get my pee out faster, the back one when i am trying to fart to poo. Is it right?

    Also I also want to ask, if the point of reverse kegels is relaxation, make the PC, BC, IC muscles relax. Why do I feel that whenever I practice reverse kegel (flexing my abs) I do not feel relaxed, in fact I could not breathe too deep. Am i doing something wrong here?

    Would love to see your respond, Ethan.

    • Hi Ivan
      Your first description sounds right to me, yes.
      I think your second question tells me you’re flexing your muscles when you shouldn’t. When learning where the muscles are, it’s helpful to flex parts of the stomach. But, reverse kegels are really done without any stomach tensing. You should be able to just mentally direct those muscles to relax. That’s why it takes some practice, as at first you won’t feel like anything is happening. So until you do, it’s sometimes helpful to give yourself some help by flexing the stomach.

  • HI,
    I’ve always had this habit of clenching my pc muscles while Masturbating and this leads to a burning sensation or soreness in the pc muscle and anus area after ejaculation. Is there a remedy for this? Also, it hurts if I try to gain an Erection after ejaculation. Usually, it takes me more than a day’s rest to gain an Erection without any pain. Please help!

    • Hi Ben
      I think you need to find a way to stop clenching. You can try to do reverse kegels, but also it might help just to lie on your back, and really focus hard on keeping that area relaxed. Even if you can’t quite do reverse kegels, you should with some practice be able to keep the muscles relaxed.

  • Hi!
    I’ve been doing normal Kegels for a month and just started with reverse Kegels. With normal ones I can feel the muscle clearly contracting if I put my hand around the muscle but with the reverse Kegels my muscle barely moves. Is that normal? Should I feel the muscle expanding with the same intensity as when it’s contracting doing normal ones?
    Many thanks!

    • Hi Charles
      That’s a very good question. The answer, as far as I’m aware, is no. For me, the reverse kegel move is much more subtle than the normal kegel. You might have a better chance of telling if there’s something happening if you stand up and look at your erect penis. You should be able to make it move up with a normal kegel. And if you do a reverse, you should (though it might take a little while) see if slowly relax.

  • Is it normal for it to be very hard to do a rk during stimulation because my pelvic area is very tense and when I try my RK it doesn’t relax

    • Hi Sam
      Thanks for your comment. Unfortunately, yes, it is quite tricky to do when in the throws of passion. That’s why I recommend either being on your back, or in the spoons position. In my experience you have a much better chance of keeping the pelvic area relaxed in those positions. If you’re on top, or on your knees on the bed, it’s really hard because you have to tense so many muscles to stay in position. It’s not so bad if you’re standing on the floor and having sex from behind, but again trickier than when you can release the muscle tension like in the first two positions.
      I hope that helps

  • I’ve been doing 30sec normal kegals and then immediately switching to 30sec reverse kegals. I do that back to back 10 times and it works great for me! I can probably do it longer. Tonight I may try 15min session. The most difficult part for me is my breathing technique during the reverse kegal. I tend to hold my breath which isn’t good.

    Normal kegals plus reverse kegals and then throw in some proper breathing techniques you should be able to go hard for at least 15-30min.

    Good luck!

    • Hi Mousegutz
      Thanks for your comment. It’s great that you’ve had such success with the kegels. Don’t overdo it though – I think 15 mins of constant kegels is a lot!

  • On a daily basis how often should I practice reverse kegals? How long does it take to start noticing the benefits. My aim is stop ejaculation during sex.

    • Hi Tom
      Thanks for your comment. Personally I think they can be practiced most days, as they are less likely to cause tension like normal kegels can. However, I still think it’s best to have a couple days a week without doing kegels at all, just to give the muscles a chance to relax. In terms of how long it takes, that’s a difficult question to answer as everyone progresses at a different rate. However, within a few weeks you should start to see a difference. And within a couple of months you should hopefully find that you get better at relaxing the area and see good results.

  • I noticed some time back that a rk did lower my feeling of ej but hadnt figured out a way to practice it. Did you at one point struggle with pe? If so how were your results now without a condom?

    • Hi there
      It does take some time to really perfect reverse kegels! That’s totally normal to be honest. Yes, I struggled for many years with PE. You can have a read of the article in which I talk about my experience with premature ejaculation if you want to know more about what I did to deal with it.
      Nowadays I have regular sex without a condom so am used to it. But yes, it’s still harder to last as long as I would do with a condom.

  • I can only do a RK when trying the duece or gas method, but without having to pee i cannot locate the muscle to do a front RK? any suggestions on how i may do that … i feel like that back RK will not help my PE very much

    • And also if i am doing it right for front, is there any telltale signs that im doing it right like physical feel. cause when i do back RK i can feel a push more towards anus but cant really tell for front

      • Hi
        You will feel an internal sensation, kind of like a dull throbbing. If you have an erection you might also notice that you can move the penis upwards by doing the kegel.

    • Hi Jordan
      It’s probably just that the muscle aren’t developed well enough yet. Keep practising from time to time and it should become easier to locate when not peeing.

  • Hello,

    Is it the right thing to do: Maintain a mid/light Reverse kegel the Whole Time during sex. And do a Hard Reverse kegel when you are close to PONR?

    I want to have your advice before trying, thank you all !

    • Hi Mick
      Yes, that’s pretty much it. Though hopefully if done correctly, the reverse kegel can so effective you never need to actually get to the point of using the normal hard kegel!

  • Hi, very well written article.

    I think I have tried everything and every attempt has worsened it. I have 70 degree curve on my penis, have been doing Jelqs for 5 months. I have premature ejaculation and have been doing edging and kegels for 5 months also and it gets worse. I have recently been having spasms between my balls and anus… and now can’t even have an erection… I have read that these exercises can in fact be dangerous for men, never believed it due to good testimonies. I guess I’m just one of those unlucky ones… my wife left me… I won’t kill myself, don’t have the courage, but every day I just wish I would disappear, not exist. I feel there is nothing more I can do, just give up.

    • Hi there
      I’m very sorry to hear you’ve been having these difficulties and that it’s led to your current state of mind. I can’t imagine what you’ve been going through.
      Please don’t give up hope though! You’re right in that some guys do end up with problems because of doing kegels either too much, incorrectly or through sheer bad luck I guess. But that doesn’t mean the problem can’t be reversed!
      My advice would be to stop all kegels and start doing relaxation exercises for the whole body. Edging is usually very effective, but of course there are always some guys who have premature ejaculation for reasons beyond arousal control. So it may be that your best best is a desensitizing product or perhaps even something a doctor can prescribe.
      Have you spoken to a doctor about your situation, both physical and emotional? Perhaps it’s not the easiest topic to bring up, but I think it could be a positive step to speak to a professional about how you feel.
      So, my advice, and it’s just advice is this:
      1. Stop kegels completely
      2. Do relaxation exercises – look this up on google and you’ll find many different ways you can approach physical relxation.
      3. Speak to a doctor about how you feel currently. And if the relaxation doesn’t help in a few days, also speak about the spasms.
      4. If you feel like tackling the stamina issue from a different perspective, try a delay spray.
      Above all, stay strong and don’t give up hope!

    • Good news is your condition is called Peyronies and is easily fixable.To inform yourself watch the Embarrassing Bodies program from Channel 4 UK where you will find a video of the “doable” operation and the before and the “happy” after.
      Your Penis problems seems to be seriously affecting your mind through anxiety. First step is get your magic wand fixed, the next is to start rebuilding and caring after your spiritual needs…join a team sports club (not gym) + church or some community initiative where you will be with other people so that your stress levels will reduce. Lord bless.

  • Hi,

    I’ve never had a problem with PE until recently. Had always used a condom which desensitized me some. Never really lasted for hours or anything, but usually long enough for pleasure, wife always seemed fine with shorter sessions. Then last year I got snipped and we were able to ditch the condoms, which has been great. Combine that with a conscious effort to masterbate way less and now my stamina is gone. It varies but normally only a few minutes and sometimes I get aroused super quick and I can’t last more than a few seconds.

    Reverse kegels? I’ve done them some but my anus always feels sore the next day.
    Start and stop?

    What will help?

    • Hi SMO
      Thanks for your comment. It sounds to me like it’s a combination of things maybe contributing to your situation. The lack of condoms and less frequent masturbation probable being the main things. My personal advice would be to masturbate regularly if it used to help with the control, which it probably did. Also, perhaps try sex with a condom once or twice. If you last much longer, you’ll know it’s the sensitivity that’s causing the control problem. I imagine it is.
      If your anus feels sore, you’re probably doing the reverse kegels too hard or incorrectly. Yes, the start and stop method can help. My normal advice would be to learn all the different behavioral techniques and perhaps try a delay spray. But in your case, I’d hold off for now. Try masturbating a few hours before sex and you might find that helps you last longer. And if not, try with a condom and see if it’s the sensitivity issue. Then you can either try ways to control your arousal better, or just give yourself more time to get used to having more stimulating sex.
      Hope that helps!

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