Reverse kegels are a relatively new concept, and one which seems to cause as much confusion as quantum physics. Despite the mystery though, they’re slowly becoming recognized as a potentially useful technique you can use to last longer during sex.
And in my experience, it’s more useful than relying on doing a super-human strength normal kegel hold at the moment of no return. Let’s face it – there’s a reason it’s called the point of no return.
In this article you’ll learn exactly how to do reverse kegels and why they’re important to do alongside normal kegels. I’ll explain them mainly from the viewpoint of how reverse kegels can help guys delay ejaculation. But if you need to learn them for other reasons, you can still follow the instructions here.
How to do reverse kegels
The physical ‘how to’ is the part that guys usually struggle with the most. Firstly understanding which muscles to use, and secondly what to do with those muscles. There are four main reasons I think guys have problems:
- Maybe you haven’t done enough normal kegels, which are easier, and so you don’t understand the muscles involved.
- The movement you need to do is a bit weird, and so you may be unsure if it’s right or not.
- Even when you do them, you might question how it can help you last longer.
- The internet doesn’t have much good or reliable information on the topic.
So I’ll explain my version of doing a reverse kegel and try to help you deal with the above issues.
First of all learn normal kegels
Your first port of call should really be to learn how to do a normal kegel. Reverse kegels are targeting the same muscles, but in a reverse kind of way, as the name suggests.
These aren’t muscles you normally have an awareness of, and it can take time to develop the ability to either squeeze or relax them. And it’s much easier to develop the first stages of control through doing normal kegels.
So if you get the hang of normal ones, you’ll have a much better chance of being sure you’re doing reverse kegels correctly. Check out my guide above if you haven’t already been working on normal kegels.
You may also find it helpful to look at my detailed explanation of how to locate the Bulbocavernosus muscle and Pubococcygeus muscle.
Step by step guide to doing reverse kegels
Assuming then that you’ve already done normal kegels before, here’s my 8 step guide to doing reverse kegels correctly:
Remember the classic kegel instructions about stopping yourself in the middle of peeing? Well next time you go for a pee try to gently force it out faster instead.
This is basically a reverse kegel of the Bulbocavernosus muscle. You only need to do this once to get an idea what it feels like. After that don’t try forcing out your pee any more and continue on to the next steps.
Sit comfortably in a chair and relax for a few moments. Now gently try to simulate the muscle movement you would make if trying to do a number two or let out gas.
Please, please don’t actually follow through. This movement will be doing a reverse kegel of the Pubococcygeus muscle. Though it will also probably engage the Bulbocavernosus muscle as well.
Note: It’s unclear how important it is to be able to do a reverse kegel with both the front and back muscles. In my experience the front one is more effective in controlling ejaculation.
However, it’s good to try to learn both as you may find that you need to focus on relaxing the entire area to develop any kind of control. Isolating them takes a lot of practice, so for now don’t worry if the whole area moves when practicing. Better control should develop naturally in time.
Did you notice in both of these steps that you probably tensed and pushed out your stomach muscles? Especially your lower stomach muscles? If not, do them again and see how your tummy will push out.
Now it’s time to add some breathing. Do the same steps again, but this time breathe in while doing them and allow your belly to rise. This is called breathing from the diaphragm.
Most people breathe by expanding their chest. But you can also breathe by expanding your stomach instead. You should find that doing this helps focus the movement on the front muscles between the testicles and anus.
Now you can put it all together. Do the simulated peeing and number two motion but also breathing out slowly from your belly, whilst keeping some light tension in the belly.
With the breathing and tensing, you should feel much more able to isolate the muscles and do a good reverse kegel. It does take practice though, so keep at it. You can try this for a few minutes a day until you get it right.
Now for the really tricky part. Can you do the reverse kegel without the help of breathing and tensing?
This can take a lot of practice, and even then you may never be able to do it without at least a little tension and stomach expansion. That’s fine, just try to reduce how much you rely on using the stomach to get the job done.
The key point here is that you need to be really relaxed. This is going to sound a bit alternative, but you need to mentally go inside your body and visualize the muscles relaxing and pushing out slightly.
Breathe slowly, deeply and relaxed while doing so, and try to focus on the area where the muscles are. Allow them to relax just by keeping your mind on them and trying to gently encourage them with your muscle control.
Now’s the time for some real practice. While masturbating you can try to do 3 different things. Do normal kegels and see what effect it has on your sense of control. Then try reverse kegels and see what happens to your physical arousal and control. Then try to just relax the whole area.
There’s no set way to do this, and it involves some experimenting and creativity from you. In my experience it took a couple of weeks of playing around with the concept 3 or 4 times a week.
Eventually I discovered that keeping relaxed was best. And when I felt tension creeping in, doing a reverse kegel could help restore the relaxation.
If you have a partner you can eventually try reverse kegels during sex. In my experience it’s best to do it when you’re on your back and she’s on top.
That way you have the best chance of relaxing and isolating the correct muscles. Again, it’s down to you to experiment. Just don’t squeeze so hard you have an accident in bed. I’ll accept no responsibility for that!
Why are reverse kegels important?
This is the most important point you might ever learn about kegels: guys often train an ultra-strong PC or BC muscle because they read somewhere that it can stop them ejaculating.
Then they go crazy and try to hold the muscle as much as possible during sex. Either that or they think it gives them a better erection, so they continually pump it when having sex. But this is completely wrong. All you’re doing is encouraging yourself to ejaculate sooner. I won’t explain the science behind that, but for now just go with it.
Normal kegel holds should only be done at the very last moment to try to stop yourself ejaculating. Or in the beginning to help yourself get a good erection. If you’re trying to last longer, then at all other times during sex you should keep the PC and BC muscles relaxed.
And doing reverse kegels is one way to accomplish this for three reasons:
- By training reverse kegels along with normal ones, you develop balance and control of the pelvic floor muscles.
- If you aren’t able to keep relaxed during sex, then actively doing the motion of reverse kegels can help to achieve the relaxed pelvic floor you need to be able to last longer.
- If you train it to a high level, you may be able to do reverse kegels so well that you can stop yourself ejaculating. You can do this before the point of no return and it’s usually more successful than waiting until the point when you need to do normal kegels.
So in some ways you’re giving yourself two opposite weapons in the battle. You can do reverse kegels and keep relaxed as much as possible. Then if it all fails, switch to a normal kegel squeeze just before the moment of no return.
And finally, doing reverse kegels can help stop you from over-training and creating an imbalance in your pelvic floor. To reap all the benefits of kegels, you must work on balance and control, not pure strength.
A reverse kegel routine
This is a common request made by guys, and one which has no definitive answer. As with kegels, nobody has ever claimed to be the world authority on a precise routine. So you’re left to use common sense or follow someone else’s routine.
In the previous article that I mentioned earlier I described a 4 week basic kegels routine. I suggest that you read that and then try these plans:
You can do each normal kegel routine each day as described. Then at the end spend 2 or 3 minutes practicing reverse kegels. They should be done much slower than normal ones – the aim is relaxation remember?
So you could for example do this:
- Sit or lie down and relax for a minute.
- Take a deep breath.
- Breathe in for the count of 4 seconds and do a reverse kegel. Either with or without tension and belly breathing. Do whichever you can manage.
- Stop, relax and breathe out for 4 seconds.
- Repeat 9 more times, to make 10 sets.
- Do the same again, but this time breathing in for 6 seconds. Breathing out normally at the end of each 6 seconds.
- Now try and do the reverse kegel 10 times with normal breathing. See how much harder it is when you’re breathing out?
- Finally hold the relaxed pushing out feeling for 30 seconds or as long as you can.
This is only a basic example routine, and you can add more sets and times to it as you get better at it.
This time instead of doing the reverse kegels after the normal ones, you can do them alternately. Again it’s up to you to decide how to mix the sets, and it doesn’t really matter to be honest. Just don’t overdo it and you can’t really go wrong.
The final way is to do the normal kegal routine on one day, and the reverse routine either at a separate time the same day, or even the next day.
There’s absolutely no evidence suggesting one way is better than another. In my opinion you should aim for variety. Muscles are clever little things, and they adapt to training quickly. So the more you surprise them, the better the results.
Have you tried kegels or reverse kegels? If this is your first introduction to them, did you find the article explained them well enough for you to try them now? Leave a comment below with your thoughts.