Reverse Kegels – My Step By Step Guide

Out of all the premature ejaculation techniques, reverse kegels seem to cause the most confusion – especially when learning which muscles to use.

Despite the initial difficulty, it’s worth sticking with it, as it’s a useful technique for keeping yourself calm during sex. And in my experience, it’s more effective than repeatedly trying to keep the point of no return at bay with your strongest kegel squeeze.

In this article, you’ll learn exactly how to do reverse kegels and why it’s important to practice them alongside normal kegels. I’ll also suggest how to add reverse kegels into the routine described in my complete guide to kegels (a free article, in case you’re wondering).

Why are reverse kegels difficult?

The physical ‘how to’ is the part that people struggle with the most. It’s not easy working out which muscles to target, and even harder to do the right thing with those muscles.

There are three reasons I think men have problems with this:

  • You haven’t done enough normal kegels, so you don’t understand the muscles involved.
  • The movement you need to do is a bit strange, which makes you doubt it’s right.
  • Knowing exactly when to do reverse kegels during sex is confusing in itself.

Many readers have left comments or emailed me in the years since first writing this article to say they aren’t sure if they’re doing it right. So I’ve since edited it to try and make it as clear as possible.

First learn normal kegels

The best way to identify the correct muscles is to first learn the normal version. Reverse kegels are targeting the same muscles, but in a more subtle way.

These aren’t muscles you normally have an awareness of, and it can take time to develop the ability to either squeeze or relax them.

So if you get the hang of normal ones, you’ll have a better chance of being sure you’re doing reverse kegels correctly.

Reverse kegels step by step

Step 1

Remember the classic kegel instructions about stopping yourself in the middle of peeing? This time, when you go for a pee try to gently force it out faster instead.

This is basically a reverse kegel of the key muscle – the Bulbocavernosus muscle – located at the base of the penis. You only need to do this once to get an idea for what it feels like. After that don’t try forcing out your pee any more and continue on to the next steps.

Step 2

Sit comfortably in a chair and relax for a few moments. Now gently try to simulate the muscle movement you would make if trying to do a poo or fart (don’t blame me for any accidents!)

This movement will be doing a reverse kegel of the Pubococcygeus muscle. Though it will also probably engage the Bulbocavernosus muscle as well.

Note: It’s unclear how important it is to be able to do a reverse kegel with both the front and back muscles. In my experience, the front one (Bulbocavernosus muscle) is more effective in controlling ejaculation.

However, it’s good to try to learn both as you may find that you need to focus on relaxing the entire area to develop any kind of control. Isolating them takes a lot of practice, so don’t worry if the whole area moves when practicing. Better control should develop naturally in time.

Step 3

Did you notice in both of these steps some movement in your stomach muscles, perhaps expanding or tensing? If not, do them again and you’ll probably notice some movement or tension.

This isn’t something to aim for when doing reverse kegels eventually, but it can help at the start to identify the correct movement.

Step 4

Now it’s time to add some breathing. Do the same steps again, but this time breathe in while doing them and allow your belly to expand. This is known as breathing from the diaphragm.

Most people breathe by expanding their chest. But you can also breathe by expanding your stomach instead. You might find that doing this helps you focus the movement on the BC muscle.

Step 5

Now you can put it all together. Do the simulated peeing and pooing motion, but also breathing out slowly from your belly, whilst keeping some light tension in the belly.

With the breathing and tensing, you should feel much more able to isolate the muscles and do a good reverse kegel. It does take practice though, so keep at it. You can try this for a few minutes a day until you get it right.

Step 6

Now for the really tricky part. Can you do reverse kegels without the help of breathing and tensing?

This can take a lot of practice, and even then you may never be able to do it without at least a little tension and stomach expansion. That’s fine, just try to reduce how much you rely on using the stomach to get the job done.

The key point here is that you need to be really relaxed. You need to mentally go inside your body and visualize the muscles relaxing and pushing out slightly.

Breathe slowly, deeply and relaxed while doing so, and try to focus on the area where the BC muscle is. Allow it to relax just by keeping your mind on it and trying to gently encourage it with your muscle control.

Step 7

Now’s the time for some real practice. While masturbating you can try to do 3 different things.

  1. Do normal kegels and see what effect it has on your sense of control.
  2. Switch to reverse kegels and see what happens to your physical arousal and control.
  3. Then try to just relax the whole area.

There’s no set way to do this, and it involves some experimenting and creativity from you. In my experience, it took a couple of weeks of playing around with the concept 3 or 4 times a week.

Eventually, I discovered that keeping relaxed was best. And when I felt tension creeping in, doing a reverse kegel could help restore the relaxation.

Step 8

If you have a partner you can eventually try reverse kegels during sex. In my experience, it’s best to do it when you’re on your back and she’s on top.

That way you have the best chance of relaxing and isolating the correct muscles. Again, some experimentation with positions might be needed before you find the right one to help you focus and relax.

Why are reverse kegels important?

This is an important point to remember: some men try to train very strong pelvic floor muscles because they read somewhere that it can stop them ejaculating.

Then they go overboard and try to hold the muscles as much as possible during sex. Either that or they think it gives them a better erection, so they continually pump the BC muscle during sex.

This is counterproductive though and encourages quicker ejaculation. Instead, normal kegel holds should only be done at the very last moment to try to stop yourself ejaculating. Or in the beginning to help yourself get a good erection.

If you’re trying to last longer, then at all other times during sex you should keep the PC and BC muscles relaxed. And doing reverse kegels is one way to accomplish this for three reasons:

  • By training reverse kegels along with normal ones, you develop balance and control of the pelvic floor muscles
  • If you aren’t able to keep relaxed during sex, then actively doing the motion of reverse kegels can help to achieve the relaxed pelvic floor you need to be able to last longer
  • If you train it to a high level, you may be able to do reverse kegels so well that you can stop yourself ejaculating. You can do this before the point of no return and it’s usually more successful than waiting until the point when you need to do normal kegels.

So in some ways, you’re giving yourself two opposite weapons in the battle. You can do reverse kegels and keep relaxed as much as possible. Then if it all fails, switch to a normal kegel squeeze just before the moment of no return.

And finally, doing reverse kegels can help stop you from overtraining and creating an imbalance in your pelvic floor. So work on balance and control, not just strength.

A reverse kegel routine

Here are some ways to incoporate reverse kegels into a training regime with the normal version:

Plan A

You can do each normal kegel routine each day as described. Then at the end spend 2 or 3 minutes practicing reverse kegels.

So you could do this:

  • Sit or lie down and relax for a minute.
  • Breathe in for the count of 4 seconds and do a reverse kegel. Either with or without tension and belly breathing. Do whichever you can manage.
  • Stop, relax and breathe out for 4 seconds.
  • Repeat 9 more times, to make 10 sets.
  • Do the same again, but this time breathing in for 6 seconds. Breathing out normally at the end of each 6 seconds.
  • Now try and do the reverse kegel 10 times with normal breathing. See how much harder it is when you’re breathing out?
  • Finally, hold the relaxed pushing out feeling for 30 seconds or as long as you can.

This is only a basic example routine, and you can add more sets and times to it as you get better at it.

Plan B

This time instead of doing the reverse kegels after the normal ones, you can do them alternately. Again it’s up to you to decide how to mix the sets, and it doesn’t really matter how you do it. Just don’t overdo it by doing it too many strong kegels.

Plan C

The final way is to do the normal kegal routine on one day, and the reverse routine either at a separate time the same day, or even the next day.

There’s no scientific evidence suggesting one way is better than another, so in my opinion you should aim for variety. Muscles adapt to training quickly, so the more you surprise them, the better the results.

Still having trouble identifying the right muscles?

Many readers have left comments saying they can’t identify the right muscle. The best way really is to focus on the muscle you need to use to make yourself pee faster.

Another way is to stand up when you have an erection. If you do a normal kegel, you should notice your penis rises. If you then do a reverse kegel, you should notice it drops downwards.

Your thoughts

Have you tried kegels? Feel free to share your experience and ideas, or ask questions below.

Even if some time has passed since the last comment, I never close comments on this site, so you will get a response.

379 Comments

  1. Hey ethan,
    I am 18 years old and I have horrible PE and I really don’t know what to do. When I was younger, like around 12 and 13, I would ejaculate as fast as possible and now when I masterbate I cum in less than a minute and when I do stuff with a girl it’s like seconds. I have a girlfriend now and don’t want to do anything with her because it is so embarrassing, will these exercises really work? Like my pe is horrible. I am so desperate and am willing to do whatever it takes as long as my problem gets fixed! 5 minutes with a girl sounds like eternity lol. Any advice will be greatly appreciated! I want to get to work improving my issue as soon as possible.

    • Hi eric,

      Thank you for your comment, and sorry to hear that like many guys, you’re having to deal with the embarrassment of PE. The thing is, I can’t guarantee it will work for you. What I can guarantee is that you’ll have a much better chance of them working if you’re willing to put the time and effort into developing the skills required for them to work. If you need help right now, then reverse kegels is unlikely to do that for you. It takes some time to reap the real rewards. But if you look around this website, and follow all the advice that we have for you, then you’ll also find things that can help you straight away.
      Good luck and have faith that you’ll reach that 5 minutes mark!
      Ethan

      • I am definitely more looking towards the future rather than short term! Everytime I try to do the reverse kegals I don’t really feel anything… like I do the breathing but I don’t feel anything except a tight stomach and a squeezed butt. What do you think I am doing wrong? Or am I doing it right but just not thinking I am?

        Thanks again,
        Eric

        • It’s hard to say Eric. Reverse kegels involve developing a very subtle understanding of what’s going on down there. I think at first it’s very difficult to know if you;re doing it right or not. As I’ve said in previous comments (have a read through if you have time as I’ve expanded a lot on the original article) it often involves a kind of dropping down, warm, relaxation feeling. But really, once you get it, you’ll just kind of know I think. Especially if you do it while having sex or masturbating. You’ll noticeably feel a sharp drop in your arousal level and potentially even erection strength.
          All the best
          Ethan

  2. Hi
    You are really doing an auspicious job through this great site. Thanks are not enough…..
    Its really nice to discuss this type of matter with good people like you and all who are here..
    After reading many sites I really convinced that reverse kegels are more efficient than kegels in PE. Kegels are more for strengthen PC , if one have tensed pelvic floor it could be worse.
    You mention that it only help one if he near to PONR as a last resort but holding too tight can cause injury (I know retrograde ejaculation, if you explain more kind of..? ).
    One of its benefit may be dry orgasm ( may be only in fantasy and I dont this worth risk of injury ) or for whom are suffering from ED.
    I just want to ask that why I should tensed my PC if it give me sooner ejaculation by practicing Kegels?
    I assume that Kegel is to uplift pelvic floor and Reverse Kegel do the opposite.
    When the main concern is to relaxing pelvic floor to prevent PE then only reverse kegels is necessary.
    One last thing that in my case excessive solo job at teenage might be the reason so I took SSRI drug Escitalopram some times, it helped me to last 30 to 40 mins. Without it just matter of 5 sec. So if my body really need serotonine or this methods can also help me to go without drugs.

    Please enlighten me

    • Hi Bivas

      Thank you for your comment, and for sharing your thoughts about reverse kegels.
      In terms of why do normal kegels if relaxing the area is best, my opinion is that it’s good to do both to make sure you keep a balance. I think you are unlikely to injure yourself or make things worse as long as you are careful and don’t do too much of any one exercise.
      So when having sex, I personally don’t do normal kegels unless I am right at the last moment. But I do do normal kegels in training just to keep a balances pelvic floor.

      As for the SSRI, yes those kinds of anti-depressants are known to be helpful for premature ejaculation. I think that just because it worked, doesn’t mean it’s the only thing that can help you. So don’t give up on the kegels!

      Regards
      Ethan

  3. Hey ethan,

    Thanks for your article, so i’m currently starting reverse kegels, however I couldn’t really feel the part of muscle when I’m doing it, is there a specific area that I could feel while I’m doing the reverser kegel? It is a less muscle moment than the normal kegel, as normal kegel makes your penis bounce up and down, will reverse kegel has the same effect?

    thanks!

    • Hi Flynche

      Thanks for your comment, and like many guys I can understand that getting the hang of reverse kegels can be tricky. I don’t think it will bounce up and down, no. If anything you might feel a dropping motion or slight loss of erection when doing them. But otherwise I don’t personally have a very measurable physical sensation which I can easily ‘check’ with my fingers like when doing normal reverse kegels. For me it’s more of an internal feeling. I think though that when you get it right, you just kind of know. For example if you are masturbating, and feeling very aroused, if you do some reverse kegels, you should instantly feel a drop in the arousal level. So if you do whatever it is you think are reverse kegels and don’t notice a feeling of ‘dropping tension’ and a lowering in your overall arousal, then it’s possible you’ve not got it right, or just need to practice more.
      Hope that helps a bit!
      Regards
      Ethan

  5. Hi Ethan I have read your article and I’m having trouble understanding/isolating these Reverse Kegels (have been trying to get them for like 1 year now), the problem I’m having is I can never replicate or do the pissing/poohing out faster thing (just occurs naturally I can’t really force it).

    Can you describe what it is that I’m meant to be feeling because I find no matter which way I push (bear down) and hold I can still do a kegel while doing that push and from my understanding you can’t do a kegel and reverse kegel at the same time.

    When I place my fingers between the scrotum and anus and kegel I feel a bulge push down my fingers, what should I feel when I reverse kegel. I find often when I try relax the area involuntary kegel just comes along as well.

    Would be great if you could maybe help me out cause I know I have a tight pelvic floor which cause spasms and I just cannot seem to at all grasp the concept of reverse kegels.

    Thanks again

    • Hi Andre,

      Thanks for your comment, and sorry to hear you haven’t been able to work out the reverse kegels. My first thought is that after a year of trying, perhaps kegels just aren’t for you. Though that’s a little defeatist I know! You might be better off just trying all-round relaxation techniques before and during sex, and learning to recognize and control your arousal levels for example.
      Having said that, it might help you to tell you that in terms of what you feel physically, personally I don’t feel much at all, if anything when I do reverse kegels. I feel some internal sensations, but nothing physical in the area between the scrotum and anus. So if you’re doing reverse kegels, and still feeling a pushing out in that area, then it’s not right I don’t think.
      The main thing is to try and feel a feeling of relaxation in the pelvic floor when doing reverse kegels. And for me, that’s an internal feeling, almost like a feeling of warmth or even a dropping down feeling, but without the physical movement which can be identified by the fingers.
      I hope that helps a little!
      Regards
      Ethan

  6. Hey ethan,

    Firstly great article, good on you for giving out genuinely good advice with no thought of reward.

    I just have two questions, when doing sex do you perform reverse kegels? Just when you are feeling too aroused?

    Also, with normal kegels, I only do them at the last minute, but they only make ejaculation come faster, rather than preventing it, do you have any advice for this?

    Cheers!!!

    • Hi goodbloke

      Thanks for the comment, and the compliment! I’m glad you enjoyed the article.

      For me personally, I’ve now reached the point where I don’t need to do reverse kegels generally. I’ve managed to teach myself to maintain a relaxed state overall, without the need for kegels.
      However, once in a while I do find I still get over-excited (especially the early days with a new parter!) so I will then do them during sex if I feel I’m going to get too aroused too quickly. But for me, I don’t do the stomach pushing etc, all I need to do is remind myself to do it, and I can ‘order’ the area to relax with my mind. This then helps me to relax overall.
      But generally speaking, if you have problems with over-arousal from the beginning, then yes, do reverse kegels and see if that helps.

      As for the normal kegels, well it may be that you’re miss-timing it, or just don’t have the strength built up yet to hold back ejaculation. But the key is that if you get the reverse kegels right, and learn about your arousal levels properly, you would never even need to use a normal kegel during sex.

      Hope that helps!
      Ethan

  7. Hi Ethan,
    Surprised to learn all about this new kegel, may be we should start calling it ‘Ethan exercise ‘. .i certainly understand your logic and idea, its really impressive and cant go unappreciated. . . im 26 had masturbation habit, this has led to a severe PE, over a past few weeks ive been doing normal kegel, i felt stronger & harder erection with some little veins popping out, i guessed working out for month or two on this would help me get rid of PE.Your concept of relaxing the muscle makes sense of course . As a matter of fact normal kegel would stop from ejaculating at the final moment, would reverse kegel really help stay longer ,if yes den how long, any personal experience???? My friend also told me by doing kegel it hurt kidneys, would reverse kegel also hurt ????

    • Hi Saami,

      Thanks for the comment – much appreciated. In my experience learning to relax that part of the body by doing reverse kegels can help a lot – a lot more than normal kegels. From personal experience – well, in the past I had serious problems, lasting only a couple of minutes maximum in general. Then with normal kegels I learned to hold back from ejaculation at the last minute. But that’s not that helpful if you feel like ejaculating immediately once you start again. But my relaxing with reverse kegels, as well as doing other exercises I’ve learned to control my arousal levels, sometimes I can last a very long time – until the woman is tired before me:-)
      So stick with it is my advice!
      Regards
      Ethan

      • can u explain me the other exercises u do besides the both kegel. I’m ready to do anything, any exercise, any diet as far as it helps me last longer. Thanks again.

        • Hi saami,

          The best thing to do is to take a look around this site, and to invest in one of the premature ejaculation books I discuss. They will give you a huge amount of exercises and information!
          Regards
          Ethan

  8. Wow thanks a lot for this knowledge man I really appreciate it.

    I learned to get a dry orgasm without losing my erection while masturbating because I didn’t want to ejaculate on the sheet. I have since then used this practice while sleeping with women in early intercourse because I have always been a victim of premature ejaculation. It made me keep my erection and continue for as long as I wanted to.

    When I was around 16 years old I had a girlfriend who loved sex and I started reading and found out about the normal kegels. I started training my pc and developed and ultra strong pc so I could ejaculate 3 times without losing the erection.

    Anyways I quit doing those at 17 years old when we broke up but my libido was still very good. The girls always said they never been with such. Until recently (21 years old) something messed up happened.
    When getting the dry orgasm my dick would go soft. This was a real problem for me since I have premature ejaculation, but it wasn’t a problem until now. I became from being the sex king to a looser, my confidence everything in pieces.
    I started to get anxiety and doubting thinking I lost my ability, negative spiral you know. Leaving me to avoid sex because of shame.

    But I am King and I will always be King and I’m more determined to fix this issue now than ever. I have trained my pc strong now, and I want it stronger but it’s problem if you don’t know how to relax it, it’s the key. That’s when I found your article about this reverse kegel man you saved my life. I know it will work because this is the stuff I’ve been looking for!

    One question is when I do it and my abs are contracted I isolate the pc very well, but when I relax it’s hard to isolate it. I know I should be as relaxed as possible but if it’s more isolated while abs are contracted isn’t that better? I will of course practice and see but I want to hear your opinion.
    Thanks my brother.

    Best Regards
    Rico

    • Hi Rico

      Thanks for your comment, and sorry to hear you’ve lost your ability which sounds like it was quite amazing before! I’m sure you’ll get it back as you seem like a very determined and focused person.

      In terms of the contraction of the stomach, I think it’s kind of up to you to practice and see what works. If you feel the need to contract the stomach at first to isolate it so you can tell if you’re relaxing it or not, then I can’t see that being a problem. But I imagine over time you’ll want to learn how to relax that and the whole area, including the stomach. Relaxation is key!

      All the best
      Ethan

    • Hi Dontee

      I know it’s difficult at first, but it is definitely worth keeping at. Just doing normal kegels is not sufficient to beat premature ejaculation in my opinion!

      Regards
      Ethan

  10. Hi Ethan,

    Thanks very much for the article. I’m a man in my early 40’s struggling with what I think may be porn-induced erectile dysfunction, because I’ve seen doctors and nobody can find an organic reason for my ED. I don’t think anybody has looked at the pelvic floor, though.

    As my erections have gotten weaker and weaker over time and then disappeared entirely, I’ve done lots of research and tried different things, including kegels. This is the first time I’ve seen anything about reverse kegels, but it puts me in mind of something else I found. At some point in the past, which researching ED, penile function, etc, I came across something on edging. The method it described was to masturbate up until just before “the point of no return,” and then break contact with the penis and “bear down” for 30-60 seconds. I found that by doing so, I was able to achieve a partial erection, which I was able to strengthen and turn into a firm erection by repeating the process several times in a row.

    I got nowhere when I tried describing this to a urologist, and I’ve never understood why I was able to achieve an erection by doing it and what it might mean in terms of my ED, but the bearing down just before the ejaculation sounds a lot like what you’re describing as a reverse kegel in terms of which muscles are involved, and so now I’m wondering whether the ED could be somehow related to pelvic floor issues.

    To me, it’s a puzzle with a lot of pieces that I don’t know how to put together. Does any of it make any sense to you?

    Thanks again.

    • Hi HiroP

      Thank you for your comment, and I’m sorry to hear you’ve been having problems with ED. It may be that the reason the doctor didn’t get it is because in the medical world edging is usually known by the other name – the start-stop method, which I also describe on this page.

      To be honest, I can’t give you a clear answer as to whether pelvic floor issues may be the cause of your ED. I guess it’s possible, but I would have thought that doing normal kegels would be more helpful in terms of building an erection.

      However, two other possibilities spring to mind – and this is just me thinking about it, rather than being sure, so please don’t take it as science! Maybe there is an inbalance in the pelvic floor muscles, which often happens when guys do too many normal kegels. In which case, doing reverse kegels could be helpful as well an normal ones.

      The second is that maybe the ED has a psychological component. What reverse kegels do is force you to relax the pelvic floor. If for some reason something like anxiety or stress is causing a tense pelvic floor, then reverse kegels might help you to relax and be able to get an erection.

      If either of these theories is even partially correct, then it might make sense to explore doing reverse kegels for a while as well as normal kegels as an experiment.

      As for the edging, again perhaps it’s helping you to take your time in building an erection, which again gives me the suspicion that there is a psychological component at play. If it helps, then I would definitely suggest keeping going with practicing that.

      I also had an ED problem recently, though it is specifically at times when I am with a new partner rather than when alone. Still, you might find it helpful to read what I had to say about it – especially the parts about how I believed nerves and stress played a key role.

      I hope some of that helps, even if it’s just my thoughts about things you could try rather than a clear answer.
      Regards
      Ethan

      • Thanks, Ethan; that’s very helpful.

        It’s entirely possible that my ED has a psychological component, but because of the way it has progressed over a number of years, it seems more likely that it’s Porn Induced Erectile Dysfunction, sometimes called PIED. If you’re curious (and I only mention it because you seem to have a healthy dose of intellectual curiosity about male sexual health), check out yourbrainonporn.com. It’s about the science of addiction; nothing moralistic whatsoever.

        Again, many thanks for your thoughtful and helpful reply.

        • Hi again Hiro,

          No problem, glad I could help. I have seen that website, and it does have some helpful information on it, even though I don’t agree with everything that’s said there.

          Good luck going forwards with the issue, and I hope you find a solution soon.
          Regards
          Ethan

  11. Thank you for explaining this one. Have been trying to do these for a while but it was your instructions that helped me the most. Normal Kegels have helped me become aware of what my body does as it leads to the PONR and I have been trying to find ways to relax and calm it down before I get there. I cant kegel to stop the PONR just yet, I never seem to be able to hold it long and strong enough. Recently bought a STU (yes, coincidental name), got to the point where I could feel my body tensing up and doing a involuntary kegel, so I did a reverse kegel as you said and it worked! Excitement reduced, no stopping, carry on. 25 mins of doing this and I got bored, had to Kegel really hard to finish, got close to giving up. Took me a lot of focus and paying attention to what my body was doing but definitely seem worth practicing. Will be doing both exercises daily. Anyway, great site, props to you for setting this up and for replying to every post that I’ve seen. I’ll spend some time looking around and revisit.

    Cheers Ethan

    Stu

    • Hi Stu

      Thanks for the comment, and the compliment about the site. It’s always great to hear that guys find the articles helpful. I’m assuming you’re talking about the Fleshlight Stamina Training Unit w?

      I say in many places on this site that I think it’s a good training tool, so I’m glad to hear from someone that also found it useful. And of course, it’s great to hear that you had success with the reverse kegel relaxation idea to reduce the excitement level. I think using a realistic vagina is a good way of putting the technique to the test as the level of stimulation it brings about is a good challenge. And if you get it right, it’s hard to miss it as the dropping of arousal level is pretty clear.

      Thanks again for the comment – I think it’s probably more inspiring for readers to hear from other guys rather than the article author himself, so it’s really helpful.

      All the best
      Ethan

  12. Thanks so much for the explanation and sequence of steps for the reverse kegels. I like many started about a yr ago doing the regular kegel when I was doing other exercises. However I did them while driving a car on a pretty routine basis. In the beginning it helped a lot with erections and control. But overuse and too much practice had the opposite effect. I became flacid in the morning and had less spontaneous erections. I guess the muscle became tired and never had time to recover. Then one time during sex I pushed the erection instead of flexed it before ejaculating . I knew I wouldn’t pee as with a very stiff erection Its almost impossible for me to pee when my bladder is full and I needed to go but just couldn’t. So when I pushed her eyes got real big and said “oh my god” what did you do? She said it felt like a surge of energy went through my penis and the end got real big. So I started doing that more and more. So like one post I read the guy figured it out by himself, I did in that way. Thank you for teaching the breathing and relaxing part though. That’s very important. However, I have another issue maybe you can help me with. That is with volume of semen. Sometimes its a lot, sometimes not so much? Does it have to do with the exercise or diet or how much water I drink? I don’t do any pills or anything like that. One time I had about a 20second erection, at least 1/4 cup. But I have no idea what I ate or drank for that to happen. How can the body produce that much on a normal basis. Sorry if its off topic. Thanks for any suggestions you may have.

    • Hi SteadyEddy,

      Thanks for the comment and I’m glad you found the article useful. It’s also great that you’ve found a way to make sex even more pleasurable for the two of you – good work!

      As for the semen volume, well I think it’s perfectly normal for the quantity to vary. And I think when you’re having sex frequently, or not, it also alters how much you produce each time. And I guess diet will have an effect, as it does on all bodily functions. You could always go to the doc and ask for a referral to get a sperm count done if you’re concerned about what you’re producing. Hopefully they would just tell you that you’re doing well to produce so much!
      All the best
      Ethan

  13. I m a 25 year boy.I m doing reverse kegls for a few day…but I have some problems too!!!!!!!!
    should I pull out my penis or anus which one?
    should I do pee before doing this??
    I am now experiencing urine incontinence after doing reverse kegels why? what should I do?
    should I do regular kegels and reverse kegels at the same time?
    pls anser me

    • Hi Angel

      Ok, generally the idea is to push out your anus…but not pull! You should not be using your hands at all. It is an internal movement. I hope this was just a language problem and you are not pulling anything.

      Yes, I would probably have a pee first if you need one.

      I am surprised you are having incontinence after just a few days of doing reverse kegels. My first thought is that you are doing something wrong, but I can’t tell of course. My advice would be to stop doing kegels until the incontinence problem goes away. In the meantime, re-read the instructions if you decide to try again in the future, and whatever you do, you should be doing it gently.

      Hope that helps
      Ethan

  14. Hi Ethan, thanks for the article, you are one of the only people out there that actually explains things properly, or at least much better than others considering it is not an exact science. Nevertheless, I have some doubts.

    I have been trying reverse kegels for about 1-2 weeks, after having tried normal Kegels for approximately 3 months, bringing me nowhere. Somehow, it feels natural to think that by performing reverse kegels, I may indeed improve my PE problem as the whole area should learn to relax and eventually, with persistence obtain a balanced pelvic floor.

    I am finding it hard to track whether I am making any improvements to improve my PE problem since I am not engaged in sexual relationships at the moment. With regards to normal kegels for example, after a while I could hold the contraction for longer and longer the more I practiced , so I knew I was getting better at it. Is there any similar way I can track my improvements with Reverse Kegels?

    In addition, its really quite hard to understand whether I am doing the reverse kegels in the correct way or not as I dont actually feel the action taking place, apart from a feeling of my anus expanding outward when I contract my lower abbs. But the fact that I need to contract my lower abbs to feel something doesnt really make sense to me as the whole purpose is to relax the entire area. Do you see how it is contradicting?

    It seems to me that it is hard to understand whether I am doing it right because the movement is so slight and hard to perceive. Does the feeling grow stronger the more one practices? This again, goes back my previous point of tracking the process and the improvement.

    I hope I made my self clear, it is a little hard to have a clear view of this whole thing.

    Thanks again for the great article and I appreciate your replies to every comment, it shows that you are genuinely interested!!

    • Hi Boric,

      Thanks for your comment and the compliments. It’s always great to hear that people find the site useful. I enjoy replying to comments, and also see it as an essential part of having a site like this!

      You raise a couple of very valid points, one of which is much easier to answer than the other!

      Firstly about tracking progress. My personal opinion is that the best way is to use an artificial vagina. I imagine you could time how long you can masturbate for ‘normally’ using the techniques, but in my experience the intensity of using a fake vagina makes it much easier to ‘test’ your control/ability to relax. You can find more about them on this site, but to demonstrate how much I think it’s a good idea, I’m not even going to link to my review. You can just search online for yourself and find a decent one. Trust me, it’s a fantastic way to practice the techniques you are learning.

      Secondly about the contradiction. Well, yes it is I suppose. I think the physical stomach expansion + anus pushing is something which is very helpful in the beginning / middle of the journey of learning about reverse kegels. But eventually the goal would be to be able to relax the area purely with mental focus and not use those two actions at all.

      I still practice reverse kegels regularly, and just the other day I realized that I have now got to the point where all I need to do is decide to relax that area, and it happens in about 2 seconds. And when I do, it’s accompanied by a kind of sinking feeling if that makes sense. I think it might just be impossible to explain exactly how it feels, so really the best advice I can give is to keep doing the stomach exercise to help you identify the area. But also sometimes just see if you can consciously relax the area. You can then play with the two techniques and see which has the best effect if you are masturbating and nearing the point of no return.

      Sometimes just out of curiosity, and to experiment, I bring myself close to the point of no return in a normal way, and only then ‘activate’ the reverse kegel techniques to see if I can last longer than I would do if I just carried on. And needless to say after all this practice, I definitely can. That’s how I personally know I am doing it right. The feeling is like a ‘reset’ button that suddenly drops my arousal level down 30%, or whatever random percentage makes sense haha…as you say, it’s not an exact science.

      I hope that helps!
      Feel free to ask more questions.
      Ethan

  15. Hi, thank you for writing useful article.

    As my mother tongue is not English, I don’t understand some of the parts of your article.

    Like Step 2,

    Now gently try to simulate the muscle movement you would make if trying to do a number two or let out gas. Please, please don’t actually follow through.

    Would you please explain this more easily ?

    I will really appreciate it, thank you.

    • Hi Zero,

      Sorry about that! It’s basically a polite way to say the following:
      A number two = when you are on the toilet and having a poo
      Let out gas = to fart
      Please don’t follow through = don’t actually do a poo while you are practicing the technique!!

      Hope that makes it clearer.
      Ethan

  16. Hi there thanks for ur article!! Umm i’ve done kegel and reverse kegel before but i always get extra hypersensitive penis shaft after doing them..and it kind of goes away when i stop doing them but the problem is that the extra hypersensitivity that causes a lot of involuntary contraction comes even only after a few minutes of kegels and reverse kegels..so i was just wondering if this is normal?? Is it due to different muscle strength for individuals and so i have to do less because my muscles get fatigued more quicker than others..?? I’m just stuck atm! Because when i do it the involuntary contractions come for a few days then subside..i kinda dont want to do that because i feel like i’m having way too much rest if i do..help please!! I know there’s no right answer but i want to hear others opinions

    • Hi Pez,

      To be totally honest, I’m not sure what the best answer is for you. On the one hand I wonder whether you may be over-doing it, relative to your sensitivity, in which case just continue, but do less and take longer breaks in-between sessions. Doing it for a few minutes at a time could just be too much. I wouldn’t worry about having too much rest. As long as you are doing them from time to time, you should still be developing control.

      But on the other hand, perhaps you could try a different technique, like the start-stop method. Kegels are not the only way to tackle PE, so I think if you are having problems with them, you can always do something different and see if that helps without causing problems.

      Sorry I don’t have a clear answer for you!
      Ethan

  17. hi there , the information you have provide looks very helpful for my doubts..!!! actually im doing kegels from a few months back but not getting any good results.. now im ejaculating much faster than before ..!! so i think i should do this reverse kegel and see what happens..!! if you any adea about this please let me know

    • Hi Konark

      Thanks for the comment, and yes just doing normal kegels can make things worse if that’s all you do and/or you don’t do them correctly or at the right time. I definitely recommend doing reverse kegels, and also looking into the other techniques that are out there. Just doing kegels is not the way to go!
      Hope that helps
      Ethan

  18. Hey Ethan!

    Thanks for that quick response! :D Yes, the switching position or waiting after stopping my ejaculation during that “PONR” made sense. I’ll be remembering that the next time i’ll have sex. :))

    So, I had been doing kegels and reverse kegels for a few days now and what I observed was that it helped me delay my ejaculation when I mastur****. (So I guess that’s a good thing?) Another thing that I observed was when I ejaculate, my semen got little in volume and it felt like I still have semen left on my prostate gland that I need to let out. Do you get what I mean? Lol. I can’t explain it any further but I guess the feeling was like I was left “hanging”.

    Anyway, I don’t know if I am doing the exercise right but is it okay to you if you give me a schedule or like a workout routine to follow? Like for example, how many repetitions to do in a single workout, how long do I have to hold a normal kegel and a reverse kegel, how often in a week should I exercise. Those kinds of stuffs. I had been reading a lot about this that I got confused on what to follow. And since I had a direct contact with you, maybe you can help me clear things out and also help me solve this PE problem of mine (and others’ too)! :))

    I’ll be trying the kegel and reverse kegel during sex anytime soon and I’ll let you know how it turns out! Lool.

    Thanks for helping!
    ~MTCG

    • Hello again MTCG,

      No problem, glad to help out!

      To answer your questions:

      The ‘left hanging thing’ is something which does happen with kegels, especially if you’re doing a strong hold at the point of no return. The reason being that the sperm has already started its journey, so when you do the kegel you are preventing it from coming out normally, not preventing it from coming out at all as its already on its way so to speak. Sometimes this can lead to what’s called retrograde ejaculation, where the sperm goes backwards into the bladder instead. In my experience doing the kegel is preventing the contraction that fires it out. So it’s still there, but might take longer than usual to come out, or head backwards to the bladder.

      Or it could be that you’re just producing a little less than normal at this point in time, either coincidentally or due to putting so much work into the kegels!

      As for a workout, everything you need is in the articles. But you really don’t need to follow an exact program. You can use the information here and create one for yourself. Just don’t do too much and you should be fine.

      All the best
      Ethan

  19. Hi Ethan!

    Thank you for this great article man! I’ve been looking for a solution (though I haven’t tried it yet) to my PE for quite some time now and I think and I feel that this is the right one! You wrote this article in a perfect way that any man would understand. Tt is even provided with links to better understand the whole article like for example, the article on how to locate the PC and the BC. I commend you for this one! :)

    I have a question though, I have been doing the kegels before but I didn’t really understand how it works. All I know is that kegeling while i’m inside of her makes me come much quicker. Right?

    My question is, unlike the normal kegeling, will I be doing the reverse kegels while having sex to lessen the tension and relax my lower body?

    I know it’s a dorky question but it’s just something to make me clear about some stuff. LOL.

    Anyway, i’m looking forward to your reply and I hope I can get great results so that I can update you on how well your work has helped me a lot. By the way, I want to thank Amazonita also for clearing out some other parts that I didn’t understand before! Amazonita really did his research. Lool.

    Shout outs from the Philippines man! >:)
    ~MTCG

    • Hey MTCG

      Thanks for the comment, compliment and general positivity! Much appreciated:-)

      To answer your questions, if you do normal kegels all the way through having sex, then yes there is a high chance it will make you come quicker. So save that as a last resort if you’ve reached the point of no return, and you want to try and stop yourself ejaculating.

      But it’s important to understand that most guys will need to stop having sex also. You can’t expect to do a normal kegel and carry on having sex. If you have amazing control, then it’s possible to have multiple orgasms this way, but most guys don’t have that control. So the idea is that you realise you are going to come, so you stop and do a kegel hold. Then you really need to do something else like switch position or just wait a while. Does that make sense?

      As for reverse kegels, well it depends how much you want to focus on that while having sex. The idea really is to try to naturally keep that area relaxed during sex. And if you sense it’s not at all relaxed, then some reverse kegels can help to release some tension that has built up. It also helps you work out which area exactly to try to keep relaxed. In my experience, it’s kind of difficult to approach sex with the mindset that you will reverse kegel all the way through. You get carried away, your attention gets side-tracked, you have other things to think about etc etc. If you do manage to focus on doing it, and still make the sex seem natural, then great. You can probably get some results from the effort. But otherwise just remember to try to keep relaxed, and bring your attention to doing some reverse kegels if you get too tense.

      And of course the other important function is using it to balance out normal kegel practice when not having sex.

      I hope that helps!
      Ethan

  20. Hi, thanks very much for this brilliant article. You’re right with reverse kegels being a mystery lol, but I definitely feel better about trying them now. Especially after reading some of the questions and your helpful answers. Well done for taking the time to reply in detail.

  21. When doing the reverse kegels, am I supposed to breathe in and do the reverse kegels at the same time? Or breathe in for 4 seconds and then do a reverse kegel?

    • thank u so much for ur support.. i have a question….since i started having the involuntary contractions i spoke of, i also realised the frequency of wet dreams i have increased…could this be an effect of over reverse kegeling?

      • You’re welcome Guru. To be honest, I really don’t know the answer to your question, sorry! Are you still getting those contractions? Have you changed what you were doing since the last comment?

  23. this is a very good description of kegels and probably the best i’ve seen so far. thanks for putting so much effort into giving good instructions!

  24. I think on your step 4, you wanted to say breathe in, not breathe out.

    “this time breathe out while doing them and allow your belly to rise.”

    Your belly will rise when you inhale, not when you exhale.

    Right?

  25. Thanks for the quick reply Ethan!

    I’ve started to feel an improvement the past week just from stopping to do kegels and taking it easy with stimulation. I realised that the week leading up to the sudden drop in my lasting time I had had a lot of sex and masturbated a lot. I believe I may have just made my penis a bit sore and maybe that made it more sensitive. Whichever the reason was it feels better now and I’m grateful for the reply!

    Also, I was wondering if doing reverse kegels, as you mentioned, could have any negative effects or if this is something you would recommend doing for getting better at relaxing.

    • Hi Joe

      It’s great to hear things have been improving:-)

      Your explanation does kind of make sense. Normally more sex would get you more used to it, and so you would last longer. But yes, if you’ve overdone it then it could be that the extra sensitivity was causing you problems.

      As for continuing to do more reverse kegels, it’s up to your really. But my feeling would be that if at some point you had no problems whatsoever, then it would be good to get back to that. If taking it easy has started helping, then there’s no reason why things won’t return to normal again.

      So I would forget about kegels, reverse kegels or any premature ejaculation techniques for a while longer. Just continue relaxing, try not to do yourself an injury and see if things continue in the right direction:-)

      All the best
      Ethan

  26. Hi Ethan!

    Defininetely the best article I’ve read on the subject and it really helped me to start understanding how to do reverse kegels.

    The reason I read the article is because I recently (past week and days) started experiencing an extreme drop in my stamina. I went from being able to last in bed for 20+ minutes to just a few, when doing things how I’m used to. Though the biggest difference is in my ability to last when masturbating. I could without problem go on for 20 min without getting close to ejaculation and by doing some kegels and relaxing when getting close I could go on for maybe an hour. Now it’s sometimes hard to last even a few minutes. I experienced a similar thing about a month ago, though it didn’t affect my masturbation, and started reading up on kegels and pc/bc muscle relaxation which immediately helped and even improved my ability to last longer; just the awareness and some training while masturbating. I also started doing some regular kegels a few days a week (no reverse). Now this time I can feel how easily my BC-muscle gets tense. And how I just a few weeks ago could relax it, it now contracts involuntarily and spasm a lot. Could this be due to incorrect use of kegels or something else and should I try to do reverse kegel exercises and stop the regular ones? Should I be worried in any way? I also noticed that I find it easier to relax it while standing on my knees while it’s practically impossible to do while lying on my back. As a side note, I’ve not been having sex for a very long time. My debut was only a little over 2 months ago but this still concerns me greatly. Thank you in advance!

    • Hi Joe

      Thanks for the compliments about the article – I’m glad you found it helpful:-)

      It sounds to me like you are in a bit of a panic, which is completely understandable and quite common for guys I think when they decide/realise that they’ve got an issue with their lasting time. Trying to undo that panic somehow will be a good first step…easier said than done though, I know.

      So am I right in thinking that you started having sex a couple months ago, and from the start were able to last 20+ mins. But then after a couple months like that, suddenly you have dropped in your timings?

      Can I ask if anything else has changed? For example, did you stop using a condom, get a new partner who excites you more, start doing things which excite you more, drink alcohol at the beginning, but stopped? If you see what I’m getting at – there are often explanations which have nothing to do with your ‘base’ ability to last or not. So it’s good to look for those first. It’s amazing the impact changes like any of those can have.

      If you have started doing kegels as a reaction to a drop in timing a month ago, it could well be that what you’ve been doing is causing the problem. It is well known that kegels can sometimes make things worse – temporarily or longer-term. And if you are getting involuntary spasms, it could be that you’ve overdone it.

      One possible theory is this: you started fine, then had what is quite normal – a drop in your lasting time for a few days. This is often very normal and nothing to panic about. But you did worry and so started doing some kegels. However, it’s possible the combination of doing kegels incorrectly/too much plus the anxiety that accompanied your need to do something has now made things worse.

      That is one possible theory, and of course the explanation could be simpler or totally different. My advice would be to stop doing kegels for a couple of weeks. Maybe do some relaxation exercises either for the whole body, or some gentle reverse kegels every other day. And maybe do some research into guys’ normal lasting times. You’ll find it is quite normal to have ‘off days’ even if you don’t usually have a problem.

      After a couple of weeks you may find things improve again as your body and mind relax. I can’t guarantee it of course, but it’s worth trying:-)

      Feel free to ask more
      Regards
      Ethan

    • AFTER CLOSE TO TWO MONTHS OF REVERSE KEGELING,I HAVE BEGUN TO GET THESE INVOLUNTARY CONTRACTIONS AROUND MY PERINEUM AND SOMETIMES IN THE SHAFT OF MY PENIS..IS THIS NORMAL???I HAVEN’T YET INCORPORATED THE NORMAL KEGELS INTO MY ROUTINE.

      • Hi Guru

        Thanks for your comment, and sorry to hear you’re having some difficulties.

        My advice would be two things:

        1. Stop doing any kind of kegels completely until those involuntary contractions go away. Just take it easy for a while.

        2. When they do stop, if you still want to do some kegels, then you really should do a balanced routine with normal and reverse. It’s quite common for guys to have problems like those contractions if they do too much of one thing, or do it incorrectly. And whatever you’ve been doing, in the future just ease off a bit on it. It’s possible that you’ve just done too much as well as not balancing it with normal kegels.

        I hope that helps. Give it a few days to a week and see if they start to ease off.

        Feel free to come back if you need more advice.
        Ethan

  27. thank you for such a great article..i have been masturbating for close to 5yrs and this has led to pe.i realised the damage this act caused me and so stopped the whole act altogether about a month and half ago and started with the normal kegels but those didnt help.i then turned to the reverse kegels about 3 weeks ago.when i do the reverse kegels sometimes i feel like urinating whilst relaxing the muscle.is this perfectly normal??

    • Hey Guru

      I’m glad you liked the article – thank you for saying so:-)

      Do you mean you feel like urinating when you try to ‘push’ the muscle actively – such as when expanding the stomach – or just when trying to relax?

        • Hi Guru

          Sorry for the delayed reply – I’ve been away for a while. If you feel like urinating when actively pushing, it’s probably an indicator you are using the right muscle. But it shouldn’t really feel like a strong urge once you get the hang of it, and ultimately you should be able to relax the muscle without feeling the need to pee. Try not to push too hard!

          Hope that helps!
          Ethan

  28. Great article on reverse kegels. As I have struggled with PE (especially when not using a condom) I’ve wanted some natural techniques to get control. I’ll use a topical spray like Promescent if necessary, but I’d rather have full feeling. So, I’ve been experimenting with these reverse kegels manually (if you know what I mean). I feel like I’m having success by simply flexing my stomach between my belly button and…well, pubic hair. Doing that flex seems to relax everything down below without any other kind of pushing. It’s as though it keeps my pc muscle from contracting up. It funny, but it’s hard to do a regular kegel if you have your stomach flexed down, which means the pc muscle can’t contract. If I feel I’m getting close, I flex hard on the stomach muscle for 20 seconds. My penis gets slightly softer and the urge to shoot goes away. Once I release, I can go for quite a while before I need to flex again. Does that make sense…just the stomach flexing? Haven’t tried with partner yet, but I hope for success. My big thing is keeping my mind from racing away on me. Keep my head in the kegel, so to speak.

    • Hey AbMan

      Thanks for the compliment, and also taking the time to comment. It does kind of make sense what you’re saying, though I’m not sure I understand what you mean by flexed down? Personally I can do kegels whether my stomach is flexed or not, even though I tried various ways when reading your comment.

      At the end of the day, if you find a particular method works for you, then that’s the only important thing! It may be that we’re describing the same thing in different ways anyway.

      And I guess you’ll only find out how well your work pays off when you do try with a partner. You might also find it takes a few times to adjust what you’re doing to translate your solo work to being with a partner.

      I wish you all the best with it, and with keeping your mind from racing away; that’s a tricky one..

      If you ever find the time, it would be great to hear how it went and if the reverse kegels worked for you.

      Thanks again
      Ethan

  29. Ethan,

    Thanks for the article, very helpful information. My situation is weird… I have never had issues with PE or Erectile Dysfunction. In fact my girlfriend would often orgasm before me, and I was able to reattain a strong erection very quickly after orgasm. This was literally just one month ago.

    Recently however, I have experienced quick orgasms the past two times we have slept together, and have been unable to reacquire an erection right afterward as I was before. One of those times I masturbated only about an hour before sex and still came quickly.

    The second time was actually just last night, and I have been reading literally the entire day about how I can keep this from happening again. I’m very glad I found your site as the description of kegels and reverse kegels was far more comprehensive, descriptive, and helpful than most other websites, and you are clearly knowledgeable and interested in helping rather than simply getting a few hits on your site or selling products.

    My question to you is, for someone who has only recently started having this issue, will these exercises be helpful, and are they even necessary, or should I focus more on stress/anxiety?

    • Hey

      First of all, thanks for the compliments about the site. Words like yours go a long way to keeping me motivated to write:-)

      To answer your question, I think you’re probably right about focusing on the anxiety it’s obviously already caused you. A couple of times I would say isn’t anything to start panicking about just yet; there could be so many explanations, and the last thing you want is to give yourself anxiety over it, and that anxiety to then become a real on-going cause in itself.

      Secondly, kegels can often take some time to start paying off, so it may be that you find out anyway whether it’s just a period you need to pass through and if everything returns to how it was before.

      So my advice would be to stop looking into it for now, forget that help like this website even exists, and see if things improve over the next few days or weeks. If it doesn’t, then hopefully you’ll be able to find the right solution for you.

      I would also recommend talking to your partner about it, if you haven’t already. I’ve found that talking about it openly (though not with a tone of panic) rather than secretly worrying about it is one of the best ways to deal with any encroaching anxiety:-)

      All the best, and I do hope things resolve naturally for you.
      Ethan

  30. Hi Ethan,thanks for the reply!
    so, I think I Get it now, the physiology of these exercises, and it is really working! You need your pelvic muscles strong, isolated, and relaxed, you get them strong by normal kegels, isolated with concentration and total awareness of which one your contracting and not to contract the other ones. The more you work on it, the easier it gets. And now I understand the utility of the abdominal breathing and the “pushing”, I mean if you place your hand over your perineum and take a deep ab air inhalation, you feel the distention, and if you contract your abs and push down (like when you defecate), distending even more, relaxing the pelvic floor muscles, the more relaxed They are, the longer you can go,placing your hand over your perineum is also useful for the isolating exercises, that way you know which one you are contracting. And I found out that when you take a deep ab Breath and at the same time you push your pelvic floor down, you can lower considerably your arousal state, specially when near PONR while masturbating or having sex, then you can go on non-stop….

    Well I hope maybe that is useful for everyone. ONne I read it is not possible to isolate those muscles cause it has the same innervation, so you would contract all of them at the same time, no mater what, but that is not true, I can contract all of them separately. They may share the bigger nerve branch, but they have independent innervation. And i can hold a kegel contraction for more then 2 min, what I’m trying to say is, I can assure these exercises work, but you need to work hard on it, till there strong, big, you have a great control of them, and it takes time. I thank you for the post again, it helped me a lot in my research.
    One last thing I invite to do, before kegel exercises, palpate and feel your whole perineum from the base of the penis to the anus, then after strong efficient kegel workout do this again and see how They are more tense and with more tone,then deep ab breathing hold the air in and then push it down with an ab contraction (like defecating), do that as hard and as long as you can then stop and continue breathing widely and then place your hand on your perineum again and feel it again and see how it got relaxed and even soft,that is the trick to last long in bed!

    • Hi again Amazonita

      It’s great that you’ve really got the hang of doing kegels and reverse kegels. I’m really pleased to hear that the article helped, and that you’ve clearly been working things out yourself in addition to what I described. Thanks very much for coming back and adding this comment – I’m sure it will be useful for anyone else reading it, and hopefully inspire one or two people to put the work in that’s needed to get the best out of kegel exercises.

      All the best
      Ethan

  31. Thanks for the quick reply. I mean kegels in general. I have a good sex life with my wife but was wondering should I leave off the kegel exercises (normal & reverse) for X amount of time before I am likely to have sex for the best results.
    E.g if I done one of my three kegel workouts of the day an hour before intercourse are they less likely to work as well at controlling me.

    Many thanks again

    • No worries at all. I’m happy to discuss these issues:-)

      It’s a good question, but I can’t answer from personal experience because I can’t remember a time when I’ve done kegels so close to having sex. All I can do is reflect on the question and see if that helps you make your own mind up.

      Kegels are exercising muscles, and muscles can get tired or overworked as I’m sure you know. So I imagine if you’re pushing it, an hour may not be enough time for the muscles to recover. But it’s not like body-building muscles where experts are pretty sure how long you need to recover in-between training sessions. When doing Kegels, and especially reverse kegels, guys are still pretty much left to their own trial and error, with just some basic rules to follow. I’ve never read anywhere that it takes X amount of time to recover from kegels training.

      I imagine if you’re doing normal kegels, an hour before could possibly be too close – especially if you’ve done two other sessions already that day. But if you’re only doing reverse kegels, or only doing one light session in the day it may not be such an issue.

      I think the thing to do is to experiment a little. Try a day without doing the exercises and see what happens. Then the next day do them shortly before having sex. The difference might be so tiny you can’t even tell, and it will of course depend on other factors too. But it could be that you see a huge difference.

      Sorry I can’t give you a precise answer, but this one is probably down to you to work out. Maybe you can come back at some point and educate me and anyone else reading:-)
      Ethan

  32. I believe I am doing these correctly but am unsure.
    When I use the technique to stop ejaculation while masturbating it seems to work but when I try while having sex it just feels nicer and gets me closer to coming than not doing one at all in the similar way a regular kegel works.
    Also how long between exercising and intercourse should you wait because I seem weaker after exercising.
    Thank you for your articles this is the most detailed information I can find by a long way regarding kegels.

    • Hey Jacob

      I’m really pleased you found the articles helpful:-)
      I’m not totally sure what to say about the first issue, if I’m honest. If it’s working while masturbating, then you should be able to get it to work when having sex too – in theory. I guess it could just be that it’s much harder to focus on kegels when having sex. When masturbating you can relax and just decide to focus your mind on the kegels. But when having sex you can’t realistically put the same energy just into that. At least I can’t…

      So my advice really is to just keep practicing. And maybe you’ll find it easier if your partner is on top. That way you can relax more and perhaps not accidentally tense the pelvic floor, something which might be happening to counteract your reverse kegel, but you just haven’t quite noticed maybe.

      It does take time to get the same success during sex and when alone, and even when you’ve ‘mastered’ reverse kegels your success rate will probably vary depending on circumstances. For example even though my control is generally quite good these days, there are times when I still struggle (for example with a new partner), and I sometimes still get it wrong. In the throws of passion I can completely fail to relax, tense, contract or whatever at the right moment. We’re only human after all, and it’s hard to resist the natural temptation to just give in to your natural sexual instinct. So don’t stress about it; hopefully it’ll get better in time.

      As for the second question, are you talking about different kinds of physical exercise or doing kegels?

  33. Hi!
    Great article, yeah reverse kegels are very confusing..but your article is the best from my point of view…
    I’m just confused about the abs contraction …I mean is it possible to do reverse kegels without contracting it? since the point relaxing your whole body? I totally understand the breathing pattern it makes sense because it increases intra-abdominal pressure distending the pelvic floor, there for relaxing it…and I’m confused about other thing..are reverse kegels about contracting and relaxing the pelvic floor muscles in a isolated way? Or just relaxing them…cause once They are related They are relaxed, nothing you can do..but if you contract them in a isolated way and then relax them you do Get more control, and Being this the case,what is the point of contracting your abs? or lower abs for that maTter??
    Hope you can help me out..
    Thank again for your article.
    Greetings from a Costarican.

    • Hey Amazonita

      Thanks for your compliment about the article – much appreciated:-)

      Ok so I understand your confusion, I think! The abs contraction is suggested because it’s a good way to help people understand how to find the right muscles to target. I don’t know the exact biology, but it just seems to work – if you expand your stomach it helps you find the correct muscles for reverse kegels.

      But it is not 100% necessary. If you can find the muscles without using your abs, then that is fantastic. And you are right – the goal is to be able to keep your body relaxed, so the less you need to engage abdominal muscles, the better.

      Is it possible to isolate the muscles involved in reverse kegels while the rest of the body is tense? I think it is, but it’s not easy and needs good control. And I think the more relaxed the rest of your body is, especially in the abs, lower back and legs, the better chance you have of keeping the pelvic floor nice and relaxed.

      From my personal experience, I am now at the point where I can just mentally focus on the pelvic floor and ‘order’ it to relax if I notice it is becoming tense. But when developing that control I found it useful to expand the abs to find the right muscles. And even nowadays sometimes I might completely forget about it in the middle of sex, and then when I remind myself I might use the stomach technique for a quick ‘boost’ to calm the tension in the pelvic floor.

      I hope that makes sense to you. What I have found is that the more your practice these techniques, especially if you are having sex regularly, the more you will develop a better understanding of how your own body works. Reverse kegels are still a bit of a mystery, and I think it’s really hard to accurately transfer knowledge from one person to another. So you’ll need to trust your own ability to try things, assess them, and try something slightly different the next time.

      Good luck with it and let me know if you have any more questions:-)
      Ethan

      p.s I won’t publish your next comment, but just to tell you your English is great!

  35. Thank you, that’s very helpful.
    But are strong kegels used to delay the point of inevitability or to simply hold in the ejaculation?
    And by hold in I essentially mean block the ejaculation but still experience the orgasm.

    • No problem.
      Just as a note to anyone else reading this, your next question is probably better placed in the comments of the ‘normal’ kegels article, rather than reverse kegels. But I’ll answer it here since this is where you asked it.

      So again you’ve highlighted an interesting point. The point being that it can get complicated working out the timing and what happens when doing a strong kegel because you can have different results.

      Stopping the ejaculation but still experiencing an orgasm is essentially in the realms of male multiple orgasms. I don’t talk about this in the kegel articles because it’s quite complex to explain. It’s also at the other end of the spectrum of ejaculation control for guys who are simply trying to last longer.

      My take on things is still that reverse kegels should be done throughout sex if you’re having trouble staying relaxed. Then a normal strong kegel should only be done if you’ve gotten too close to the point of no return. If you’re learning arousal control (I talk more about arousal control in this article), then you should be doing other things when you get too close to the point of no return.

      But if you do find yourself there, then a strong kegel – depending on your timing, technique and strength – can either bring you back from the emission phase of ejaculation or stop you from ejaculating but still have an orgasm. Doing the second is much harder, and there is also the risk of a retrograde ejaculation (where it goes into your bladder because you are blocking it from escaping).

      So my advice is about doing it just before the point of no return to bring yourself back from the whole process beginning. It is possible to learn to use kegels to have a dry orgasm, as some people call it, but it’s not easy and requires near perfect timing, control, strength and technique. Something I’m not teaching here. But if you do enough kegels and experiment you may find yourself experiencing it unexpectedly anyway in time – that’s what happened to me initially. If it interests you, you can also find books on it online.

    • That’s a good question Johnny. With the phrasing of the question I’m assuming you come from some kind of medical background, so forgive me if my answer lacks the depth you might be hoping for.

      The answer as I understand though is both. The muscles involved are voluntary muscles, even though many people don’t have much of a natural ability to use them. Except maybe when trying to hold back from peeing. So you need to gain better neural control of those muscles. But to do that an element of adaptation is necessary as they are usually not as strong as they could be; it’s hard to learn to control muscles which don’t seem to respond well to your mental direction, and so takes time.

      With regular kegels the actual strengthening and adaptation of the muscles is going to be important for creating strong contractions. Reverse kegels are more about directing those muscles to relax, so the neural control is key.

      In both cases you will probably find the adaptation and neural control developing simultaneously.

      Hope that helps.

  37. Great article! I have been practicing kegels for a few weeks and wasn’t really understanding how flexing the muscle that causes ejaculation was going to help me last longer. Developing balance makes a LOT of sense; I will be incorporating this with my regular kegels. Thank you!

    • Hi RegainingMyChops – great imaginary name by the way;-)

      Thanks for the compliment, and I’m really pleased you found the article useful. You’ve hit the nail on the head with questioning how Kegels can actually help when you’re working a muscle that is involved in ejaculation. And unfortunately many guys do make things worse for themselves, either temporarily or for longer periods of time, when they start off doing kegels.

      There is still so much confusion about kegels, it’s a shame really that no respected medical organization or urologists have come forwards to help clear up the mess. At least I haven’t found any sources suggesting they have. Even most medical websites still just talk about doing kegels with the PC muscle and don’t go into much detail or talk about reverse kegels. I really have no idea why they haven’t gotten more involved with trying to promote a better understanding of how they work.

      I might have to make that a mission for the future; to try to nudge one or two of them to enter the debate about kegels and reverse kegels!

      Once again thanks for taking the time to leave a comment. It makes all the difference in inspiring us to continue writing article like this one.

      All the best
      Ethan

  38. This is such a useful article and so much clearer than anything I’ve seen before on reverse kegels.

    I’m also amazed that I never read about the concept of only doing kegels at the last moment before. I think I was probably one of those guys that read how they help and then did them too much during sex. But what you are saying here about balancing them out with reverse kegels not just during sex but also when training alonemakes total sense.

    I cant thank you enough for providing this information in such a complete and well-written way. As the other guy said most sites are not so forward with this information. Either that or they just repeat the same basics you find all over the place, but without much detail.

    One question though is when doing the start stop method, do you recommend combining it with both kegels and reverse kegels? I assume the answer is yes, but am curious to know what you think.

    • Hi James

      Thanks so much for your kind words, and for taking the time to leave a comment. It’s really appreciated as I know many guys are put off leaving comments on sites like this, even if they are anonymous.

      And the occasional compliment like this definitely helps with the inspiration to keep writing about these techniques in detail rather than just focusing on product reviews…

      You’re not alone in not knowing the full picture about kegels, or the importance of reverse kegels. In all honesty reverse kegels are still a relatively new concept so it’s understandable. As for not knowing about the proper use of normal kegels, that usually comes down to how many people write a short article about them online without really knowing what they’re talking about, and therefore continuing to spread incorrect information. But at least you know now and I hope it helps you in the long run:-)

      With the start-stop method, it’s up to you if you want to try to combine different techniques. I certainly think it’s good to keep as relaxed as possible during the start-stop technique. If you have the control to do reverse kegels to help that relaxation, then great. And definitely trying normal kegels if you get too close to the point of no return when doing the start-stop is a good idea.

      I think that dealing with premature ejaculation with these natural techniques is a bit of a jigsaw puzzle. The more pieces (or techniques) you put together, the better chance you’ll have of success. At first it can be overwhelming with so much to focus on. But if you keep practicing, eventually they’ll become more like second nature and you’ll find it easier to combine various different techniques. So don’t worry if you can’t concentrate on everything at once in the beginning; it will get easier as the weeks go by.

      Thanks again for stopping by, and good luck!

  40. Thank you. I’ve spent hours looking for good information on PE and finally something concrete and not a total sales pitch! Bless you!

    • This is a very useful article. I’ve been practicing reverse kegels for some time now and I have gained serious control over my erections. Doing kegels and reverse kegels during sex or masturbation made me aware of how the blood flows and stays in the penis and how to control my sexual excitement. When I did only “positive” kegels I always found something was missing but I noticed that after I went to do a number one during a prolonged sexual encounter I felt much more relaxed and, well, “naturally” pumped. I read about reverse kegels only a few months ago, but after I started “mixing” them with standard kegels my sex life and my confidence improved significantly. I learned about PE, kegels and the rest of the story some 8 years ago when I had to do a frenulectomy (google is your friend). As you can well imagine I was very interested in everything concerning the anatomy of the penis when I heard that a very sharp scalpel was going to cut through a part of it. What I learned was that I knew nothing or almost nothing about how things really work down there. I learned a lot following threads on the net and applying everything (trial and error) that seemed reasonable and good for me (which was very useful in the aftermath of the recovery) so I wanted to thank you personally for adding another valuable piece to the mosaic for all of those who are still searching and learning…

      • Hi Hogar,

        Thank you for taking the time to leave such a long comment and sharing your story, and for the compliment of course which never goes unappreciated!
        Your story is I think probably similar to many guys’ (apart from the scalpel bit…ouch!) in that it’s quite common to start with normal kegels, then one day find out about the reverse version.
        And yes, it’s an amazing thing when you discover how much there is to learn about your own anatomy!

        Most importantly it’s great that you have had success. This kind of story will hopefully help other readers to have some faith that some dedication to dealing with the issue can reap rewards.

        Many thanks and all the best,
        Ethan

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