The Start And Stop Method Step By Step

The start and stop method is a classic self-help technique that can help men who suffer from premature ejaculation.

It’s particularly helpful if you’re currently single and have time to work on your sexual stamina. And if you’re in a relationship, you can either practice it when you’re alone or ‘on the job’ with your partner.

start and stop technique

How does it work?

The method is all about learning where your point of no return is – the point where ejaculation is practically inevitable.

Then when you have sex, you stop yourself when you spot the signs that you’re getting close to that path of no return.

As you’ll see in the steps below, you can repeatedly get close to the point, then stop and rest for a while before continuing. Eventually, you should find that you can go for longer before hitting that point.

Understand your arousal levels

The second goal is to develop a better understanding of your arousal levels. This will help you stay aware of how much time you spend doing movements that stimulate you too much.

Then if you find yourself getting too aroused, you know you need to do something about it.

That’s when you can call upon other techniques like kegels or changing to one of the sex positions that are good for lasting longer.


Part 1: solo practice

It’s better to practice on your own initially because you can take the time to really focus on how your body reacts when stimulated.

  1. Set yourself a time goal. 20 minutes is a good time, but less is fine to start with.
  2. Masturbate normally using just your hand. Try to keep a slow and steady pace.
  3. When you feel yourself getting close to climax, stop masturbating. Don’t stop too early, but don’t push it to the last second either.
  4. Rest for 30 to 60 seconds before continuing. Relax your body and breathe slowly while you rest.
  5. Repeat steps 1 to 3 until you reach your time goal. Then you can ejaculate naturally.
  6. Eventually, you should notice that the period of time between getting an erection and hitting the point of no return gets longer.
  7. It can take a couple of weeks to see improvements, so don’t give up if you feel there’s no initial progress.
  8. After you feel that you’re making some small improvements, add lubricant to make it more intense.
  9. You may find at first that your time drops back down – don’t worry if it does. You should gradually improve again.

If you feel like climaxing as soon as you start again

When doing the start and stop method, you may find you feel like ejaculating as soon as you start again after a rest. This may be for one of two reasons:

  • You’re not resting for long enough. 30 seconds is ideal, but you may need a minute for your arousal to drop.
  • You may be pushing yourself too close to the point of no return. In future, stop a little earlier until you can rest for 30 seconds before continuing.

Practicing with a sex toy

If you’re single or practicing alone, you can add a sex toy/male masturbator as an extra challenge. It’s a great way to close the gap between the stimulation of masturbation and sex.

This will help ensure your hard work doesn’t fall apart when it comes to the real thing.

If you don’t have one already, you might find it helpful to check out my review of the aptly named fleshlight stamina training unit.

How long you should aim to last for

If you usually finish in a couple of minutes, aiming for 20 minutes is a tough goal. Especially if that means spending ages masturbating because you have to stop and rest every 30 seconds.

So breaking it down into smaller steps is more likely to motivate you to keep at it.

If you usually only last a minute or two, set yourself the goal of 5 minutes before ejaculation for the first few sessions. From there you can raise the goal to 10 minutes. And from 10 minutes to 20 minutes.

When you can hit each goal with only 2 or 3 rests, you’re doing well and can move to the next goal.

And on the topic of 20 minutes – that’s not a strict target to aim for. I personally think 20 minutes is a good time to aim for based on how long surveys suggest women take on average to reach orgasm during sex.

But for some people, 20 minutes is way more than necessary. So feel free to set your own goals.

Having to stop too many times?

If you find you need to stop too many times to reach your time goal, either alone or with a partner, you can change the way you approach it.

Instead of stopping 10 times in 10 minutes, only do the process 5 times. Even if that only means a few minutes in total, eventually it will get better.


Part 2: the start and stop method with a partner

Practicing with your partner presents a more realistic challenge. It also lets them know you’re working on the issue and they might like to feel involved.

There are basically 2 approaches to try:

  • Go straight into trying it during sex.
  • Practice with manual and oral sex, mixed in with normal sex on some days.

It’s up to you how you want to do it, but for those who want to start slowly, here’s a method to try:

  • If you’re very sensitive, start with just kissing for a few minutes.
  • Your partner can start to caress your body slowly and sensually.
  • Ask your partner to masturbate you with their hand. If that makes you ejaculate quickly, this is the level you need to practice at for a few sessions.
  • Tell them to stop before you reach the point of no return. Practice the start and stop method with them for the agreed time goal, before allowing yourself to finish.
  • When you’re able to cope with your partner masturbating you, you can move on to oral sex.
  • And when you can last longer with oral, you can again move to sex.
  • You might find that sex is too stimulating, even after developing control during manual and oral, so don’t rush. Spend time on foreplay and use lubricant to reduce the friction.
  • Start with slow and shallow thrusts. You can even remain motionless inside your partner for a minute to let the initial intensity pass.
  • Each time you rest, just kiss or caress your partner. You could also pull out and give them manual or oral for a minute or two.
  • Continue slowly, with shallow, teasing thrusts.
  • It might take many slow sessions before you can cope with more stimulating movements or positions. Just take things easy, build up and gradually increase the intensity.

Research evidence that it works

When I was researching premature ejaculation treatments, I found many references to the start and stop technique.

Despite the fact that it’s often mentioned in scientific literature, however, there haven’t been many studies done to test its effectiveness.

And some of the studies that have been done either involved combined input from a therapist or combination therapy with drug treatment.

If you’re interested in reading more about this, you might find a 2015 British review of behavioral techniques useful to read.

Interestingly, they conclude the following:

There is limited evidence that physical behavioral techniques for PE improve IELT and other outcomes over waitlist and that behavioral therapies combined with drug treatments give better outcomes than drug treatments alone. Further RCTs are required to assess psychotherapeutic approaches to PE.

‘Limited evidence’ could suggest that there isn’t much evidence, or that there is some but not enough to draw firm conclusions.

It seemed to me when reading their report that some of the previous research they looked at did have positive results, but others not so much.

So like many premature ejaculation treatments, it works well for some (myself included), but not for others.

I definitely think it’s worth trying though – it’s free, easy to practice and in a couple of weeks you’ll know if it’s working or not.

You might also like

The start and stop technique is just one technique among many. So you might like to read one of my recommended premature ejaculation books for even more techniques.

You might also find it helpful to read my premature ejaculation story, where I talk about the process I went through to deal with it.

267 comments

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  1. First of all I would like to thank you for this helpful guide. Personally, I have just got access to it and I have read some comments which does encourage me to call for some help. I would get directly to the bottom line – I am 21 years old I have been masturbating for years and I feel really low because I do ejaculate quickly which cause me to think that this prob will cause me issues when I will get married to give a concrete account of my case I do ejaculate in less than one minute and my aim is to last for 10 min without any tests . I am totally aware that this isn’t easy to reach but I would be extremely thankful if you could help.

    1. Ethan Green

      Hi Salah
      The only extra help I can give right now is to encourage you to try this technique for a few weeks to see if it starts to help. If it does, do it more. I’d also suggest reading more articles on this site as there is lots of useful advice.
      Ethan

  2. Hey (: just wanted to thank you for your awesome guides, i’ve been following your kegel and reverse Kegels guides, I have done edging before but I was doing it wrong, now with your guide I now how to do it properly (: My question is, should I ejaculate after edging? Is it okay if I don’t do it?

    1. Ethan Green

      Hi Antonio
      You’re very welcome! Always good to know the site is appreciated:-)
      To answer your question, I don’t think it matters really. I’d just do what you feel like in the moment. There are some that argue it’s good not to, kind of tantric philosophy. My personal opinion is you might as well have a reward for the frustrating work of holding out!
      Ethan

  3. Anonymous

    Hi just come back again to share the story. the last time i commented on this post is 8 june 2017. so now its been around 8-9 month after the last time i commented. i have stopped doing this method for about 6 month and i see only a little degradation. i still can do it for more than 20 minutes even more if i wanted too. but theres also a time i last for under 2 minutes too. its all depend on how much im aroused. if i aroused myself for too long, ofcourse it will be hard to last for more than 2 minutes and vice versa. very oftenly i cant last for more than 2 minutes if im aroused too much.

    before i always think of how to last longer, how not to came fast, etc. this thought is what makes me cant last that long. i tried to blur it by doing math but its only worked for a few times and greatly reduced my pleasure. since my goal is to do this with my partner in the future, im afraid im not feeling connected with her if i did math or etc during sexy time with her which is a bad things.

    after a long time of training, i gained a lot of confidence. instead of thinking about negative thought, now i always thinking about positive thought like how much pleasure i get, the joy of edging, etc.

    So the conclusion is, this method does works for me. it helped me how to last longer and gain confidence. and i can still maintained it even i have not been doing this for about 6 month.

    i think this is the last time i shared my story. theres nothing i can share anymore.

    Im not telling everyone to do this and i just shared my story here. If you ever do it, its because your own choice NOT because i told you to do so. So please do it at your own risk.

    Sorry for my bad english.

    Thank you very much Ethan.

    1. Ethan Green

      Hi there
      Great to hear from you again! Even though you haven’t left your name, I recognise your style of writing, and it’s great to hear a progress report from you.
      I’m happy to hear you’ve managed to maintain the good results after a long time without doing the method. I’ve personally found it does drop down slowly over time, so it’s nice to know someone else had more continuity from it.
      Having said that, it also seems like you did some important thinking about the way to go about having sex, what to focus on and how to take pressure off yourself etc. And all that kind of stuff also plays an important role I think.
      Thanks again for keeping in touch and sharing your experience.
      All the best
      Ethan

  4. I want to ask that if the person edging means stopping sperm several times for hours, does this not cause damage to organs like veins testicles prostate kidney and its fertility because its put more pressure in veins. Plzzz reply why doctors tell this technique. They dont know its side effects.?

    1. Ethan Green

      Hi Bilal
      I don’t think edging can cause problems like you describe. Your organs are stronger than you give them credit for!
      Ethan

  5. I’ve noticed say I’ve done the start stop method a couple days in a row it gets better, but as soon as I stop for a couple days I’m back at square one. Is there some sort of maintenance once you have the grip on it or is that just evident I need to do it for a longer amount of days till its phycologically programmed

    1. Ethan Green

      Hi there
      Unfortunately, that does seem to be a bit of a problem with some of these behavioral techniques for many men – you need to keep practicing for some time. I also think if you stop altogether for a few days and don’t have sex either, just that gap without sexual activity makes it harder to control yourself.
      Ethan

  6. Hi, i have been edging with my bf for a few days now, i stop inter course midway when i get too excited but even after stopping, my rock hard penis shakes (bending up and resting) on it’s own a few times and semen comes out.
    But i dont go limp afterwards, kinda strange, is it normal?

    1. Ethan Green

      Hi Sunny
      It’s not strange – it just means that you’re stopping too late. Try stopping sooner in the future, and experiment with the timing so you know exactly when you need to rest without actually ejaculating. If you’re able to ejaculate and carry on though, that’s great – enjoy it while your body stays that way!
      Ethan

  7. luis a guevara

    And is only my first week of stop and go metod but my 4 week of kegels. It realy work and I can keep going moré then 20 minutes . And I have sensitive penis well not circuncisión.Thanks for your help

  8. luis a guevara

    I getting results with your guide I can masturbate for 20 minutes without stop at all but The first timé was quick almost at 3 minutes then at 7 next day

    1. Ethan Green

      Hi Luis
      That’s great to hear! Thanks for sharing your progress – it helps inspire other readers to try it out too.
      Ethan

  9. How often I have to do it ?
    How many days a week . thanks my wife for 15 years left me because of PE I need to get control of this for future relationship.

    1. Ethan Green

      Hi Luis
      Wow, I’m sorry to hear that! I can’t imagine how crappy that must have felt. To answer your question, you can do this technique as often as you like. I think several days a week if you can is good. Every day even better!
      Ethan

  10. Ric Carter

    It is possible to edge for a long time without cumming. I started edging on Thursday, and have edged each day for at least four hours, never letting my semen spill. My friend is doing similar. We will get together on Tuesday to suck each other off. We have done this previously, and we both have a massive load of cum after edging like this. We’ve talked on the phone several times to encourage each other, and make sure the other is hard.
    I’ve had today free, and have edged over six hours straight, nearly having a couple premature ejaculations from over stimulating myself. It takes a bit longer to relax when that happens. A plus of the extended edging is the amount of pre-cum produced. I really enjoy the taste of it, and never waste a drop.

    Ric Carter
    Somers, Montana

    1. Ethan Green

      Hi Ric
      That sounds like an incredibly long time to practice edging for. Do you feel it’s reasonable, or stopping you from doing other daily activities?
      Ethan

  11. Thanks for sharing this technique with us with a lot of detail. I have tried it before and had a little progress. But I am going to try it again with the advice you have here.

    1. Ethan Green

      Hi Lucio
      No problem! Good luck with it – I hope you have even more success this time round!
      Ethan

  12. Hello Ethan
    I’m a 19 year old guy. As a teenager, I used to masturbate really fast to avoid getting caught and this led to me having PE. After searching through various sites, I concluded I have primary PE which is apparently very hard to treat. This honestly has made me very depressed and embarrassed. I barely last 30 seconds when I start masturbating. Do you think the start stop method and kegel exercises on a regular basis can help me last upto 10 minutes? Also, when I do this technique do I watch porn or just use my imagination??

    1. Ethan Green

      Hi Robert
      I can understand why you feel that way, but try not to let it get you down. See it as one of life’s challenges to be overcome and you’ll hopefully find it easier to cope with, and a motivation to deal with it.
      The truth is that it’s impossible for me to say if these techniques will definitely help you. What I can confidently say is that they do help a lot of men, so it’s definitely worth trying. Practice regularly and give it a couple of months before deciding if it’s helping or not.
      In terms of porn or imagination, try changing between the two. I’d say it’s probably good to avoid porn to start with, and give yourself the best chance possible to make progress without being overstimulated. Then add it when you think you’re making some progress.
      Good luck with it!
      Ethan

  13. if a boy stop masterbution.. its sexual level is good… plzzz plzzzz reply me

    1. Ethan Green

      Hi Kashif
      Probably, yes. But there’s no need to stop it unless you really feel bad about it. Remember that it’s totally normal to do though.
      Ethan

  14. Anonymous

    Hello Ethan
    I just want to share my experience again. The last time i commented on this post is on 16 March which is mean i have been doing this training for about 9 month i think. I hope my experience can help some people struggling with his PE.

    From 16 March, i tried to hold it more than 20 minutes. in a few days i can hold it for around 25-30 minutes which is good. but the bad side is my P*nis got chafed again. i think its because the lube dry out after around 20 minutes and im too lazy to add some lubricant again. a few days after i cant hold it for more than 2 minutes. well i think its because im stressed out from work. but after 2 month i still cant hold it for more than 2 minutes. i even have a hard time holding it just for 5 minutes. and to make things worse, my chafed p*nis isnt healed yet and worsen because i never let it heal and keep doing this training. after that, im thinking to let my p*nis healed for around 1 month
    after its almost healed i tried doing this training again. the feeling is so intense. well i think its because i didnt doing this for a month. but somehow this time i can hold it for 10 minutes. usually, i ejacul*te for under 2 minutes if i didnt ejacul*te for a few days. a few days after ( this day ) im still doing this training although i still can only hold it for around 10 minutes.

    My conclusion is :

    – Don’t give up
    – If you achieved your desired time, doesn’t mean you will last long forever. ( example : i can only hold it for around 2 minutes if im very stressed )
    – I think for me, chafed p*nis decrease my performance. so, if you ever have it, let it heal first. it wont take long. the reason it takes time for me to heal is because i never let it heal.

    and if someones ever curious..
    im doing this training using a realistical v*gina, p*rn, and lubricant
    not trying to advertise, im buying the toy from Japan. after i read the review on most website, its say that my toy ranked number 2 on the most intense toy ever. and just want to let you know, most people said that this toy isnt close to the real one. because, the real one isnt as intense as this toy.

    Note : Do it at your own risk. I only tell you my experience, not telling you to do this training.

    i think thats all from me for now.
    good luck.

    1. Ethan Green

      Hi
      Thanks for sharing your story again. You really do need to let your penis heal if it has any kind of injury, chafing or soreness. I highly recommend not being lazy about using lube if you regularly get chafing, and when you do see signs of that, just rest until it’s better.
      Ethan

  15. I live with my partner and they are always home before me from work, so it’s not possible for me to practice alone. They don’t like doing the technique during sex, so what am I supposed to do??!!

    1. Ethan Green

      Hi Niki
      That’s a tough one! Why don’t they like doing it during sex? Have you explained how it can help you last longer over time if you do practice it?
      Ethan

  16. Is it a good idea to practice this method multiple times a day or is that too much stimulation?

    1. Ethan Green

      Hi Devin
      I wouldn’t intentionally set out to do it several times a day unless that’s what you naturally feel like doing. There’s no need to force it unless you feel you need the practice.
      Ethan

  17. Stephan

    Thanks for the great advice. I always come in under 2 min, so I hope the technique can help me. I appreciate the detailed description Ethan, and all your articles here. Keep up the good work

    1. Ethan Green

      Hi Stephan
      You’re very welcome. Good luck with it – don’t give up too soon if you don’t have results. With some regular practice, you should find you make progress.
      Ethan

  18. if a men stop masterbution for long long time.. the face will be clear… plzzz plzzzz reply me

    1. Ethan Green

      Hi Kasif
      What do you mean by ‘the face will be clear’?
      Ethan

      1. hello… if a boy stop masterbution for 465 day.. the pimple and acne scar that was caused by the evil habit of masterbution… they will get clear skin… plzzzz reply me

        1. Ethan Green

          Hi Kasif
          Masturbation does not cause acne. Many people say it does because boys tend to start masturbating at the same time as acne first appears. But this is because the hormones of puberty cause both things. So stopping masturbating will not help the acne, because the hormones are still there.
          Ethan

  19. I have only been mastrubating for a few months and was wondering about the start/stop technique. If I should try to wait 15-20 minutes before letting myself climax, when does the clock start? Does it start when I start mastrubating or does it start when I first feel the urge to climax?

    Thanks for the help?

    1. Ethan Green

      Hi Avery
      It starts when you settle down to start masturbating. But I wouldn’t worry too much about the precise timings. As long as you’re sticking to the general concept of trying to extend how long the whole process it takes, it doesn’t really matter whether it takes 10,20 or 30 minutes. I use exact numbers in the article to explain the technique, but really it’s the idea that’s important, not exact times as long as you’re heading in the right direction.
      Ethan

      1. Hi Ethan. Thank you very much for for answering. This is an interesting article, thanks for your help.

  20. Anonymous

    Hi I mostly masturbate to porn sitting on a hard surface and cum within 30 seconds but when I lay down it’s take more longer maybe a minute or two and when I stand maybe a minute. I was wondering since I’m about to start the stop and go method is it better to sit, stand ,or lay down. Please reply.

    1. Ethan Green

      Hi there
      I think it’s best to do it in the position where you can most relax. Relaxing your body can really help you stay in control, and that’s usually lying or sitting.
      Ethan

  21. Anonymous

    Hello Ethan

    Thanks Ethan for posting this. I’ve been doing this method for about 6 month or more. Now i can hold it for 20++ minutes most of the time. Im glad i found this post. Thank you very much Ethan.

    1. Ethan Green

      Hi there
      You’re welcome, and that’s fantastic! I often wish guys who’ve spent time practicing the technique would leave a comment to say if they had success with it – or not – so I appreciate your feedback!
      Ethan

  22. I have found this to be very interesting, Now I can understand what my husband is doing on the other side of the bed. My question is what makes him have to get up several times and go to the bathroom? And he also will cough during this time. Does those 2 things have anything to do with this techique? Thanks for the article. Denise

    1. Ethan Green

      Hi Denise
      I’m glad you found the article interesting! To be totally honest, I have no idea why he might be doing that. Do you mean when you’re having sex, he repeatedly gets up to go to the bathroom, or during the night? Sorry if it’s a silly question, but it’s not clear from your comment what the exact situation is.
      Ethan

  23. Could you give me a penis exercise guide Even though I am no where near done with puberty I would like to increase the size of my penis as well as increase the hardness of my penis during an erection

    1. Ethan Green

      Hi Gino
      I really don’t recommend doing anything like that until you reach adulthood – it’s potentially risky and kind of pointless because you just don’t know what your real final size is yet. There are some easy things you can do to make it appear bigger, which can be very effective – have a look at my article about penis size and enlargement and you’ll find a list of simple ways to do so.
      Ethan

  24. Hi Ethan

    Great article – you really are helping lots of men out with what can be a depressing issue.

    I have been with my partner for a year, and have tried using your techniques, with some benefit, but still not lasting long enough to make her reach orgasm. However we have also used desensitising sprays which have really helped in the short term, allowing me to last long enough for her and improving my confidence.

    I have some time away from her now and I have bought a fleshlight training unit to try to improve my stamina without using sprays. I have read Ejaculation Trainer, and am trying to use the techniques relating to breathing, edging and arousal control. Can I ask the following questions:

    1) Did you find the meditation mentioned in the trainer useful? I find it very difficult to do and am not sure if it is beneficial

    2) Ejaculation Trainer says it is best to not ejaculate after each session, maybe only cumming once or twice a week – is there something you found worked for you during your training? Currently I am ejaculating at the end of the sessions but perhaps this is where I am going wrong?

    Once again thanks for this blog, it takes a lot of courage and helps a lot of people!

    Steve

    1. Ethan Green

      Hi Steve

      Thanks for the comment – I’m glad you’ve found the site helpful, and have had some success with your sexual stamina. It can take time to really master your arousal, so keep going with the techniques!

      To answer your questions:

      1. To be honest, I’m not a massive fan of that type of meditation. I think if it doesn’t feel right to you, then don’t worry about it.

      2. Tricky one! I can understand why it says to only ejaculate once or twice a week, but personally I don’t think it really matters. As long as you actually practise the techniques properly, then I don’t see anything wrong with rewarding yourself after you’ve put yourself through an at times punishing session of constantly fighting your arousal levels! I know in tantric sex, the idea of not ejaculating at the end of a session is seen as a powerful tool and could help. But personally, I don’t like the feeling of frustration that this generates, so prefer just to let it go, so to speak.
      So just to be clear, although I think the Ejaculation Trainer is an excellent guide, I don’t think it’s necessary to follow every single piece of advice to the word, especially if you feel uncomfortable with it. And the two points you raised are two which I think you can make your own mind up on.
      I hope that helps!
      Ethan

  25. Sachin Kapoor

    Article is really helpfull and easy to understand but i have a doubt on that, Is the start and stop method first we have to do till start a real sex?
    1-like if i am doing oral sex with my girlfriend at that time i will do this technique till 20 minutes. Than start a real sex ok?

    2-how could i stop when it all coming out like mine it cant stop when its coming out.

    1. Ethan Green

      Hi Sachin
      I’m glad you liked the article!
      No, you don’t have to only do the technique with oral sex until you can reach 20 mins. In some ways it’s good to take things one step at a time, but also you need to think of your girlfriend’s wishes. So you can mix things up as much as you like if she doesn’t want to spend that long on oral sex. The main thing is that you keep focussing on trying to reduce your arousal when it’s getting too much. Which leads me to point 2 – if you are already ejaculation, then you can’t stop it. It means you waited too long before stopping whatever you were doing. You need to recognise when you’re getting to that point and stop before you get there.
      Ethan

  26. Thank you for this fantastic article and I have been making fantastic progress. But when I switch to porn or something graphical I cant last more than 1 or 2 minutes. Is this unusual?

    1. Ethan Green

      Hi there
      You’re welcome – I’m glad you found it useful! Yes, it’s very common for guys to ejaculate quicker with those elements added. I think it’s a good challenge to sometimes watch it, but also it’s important to keep doing the technique without relying on porn.
      Ethan

  27. When can you expect results or improvement using this technique?
    a couple of weeks or a couple of months?

    1. Ethan Green

      Hi there
      It depends totally on the person. I’ve heard reports that even a week can help, mainly because you change the way you think about sex. But usually a few weeks is when you should start to see results.
      Ethan

  28. hi ethan,
    i am too depressed and tensed about my situation, i dont feel errection at all. Even if i force myself to the limits i can get the errection only for 2 seconds. It is really not getting hard at all, i dont know what to do. i am 23 and i dont know what to do what exercise or diet can help me, i have no idea, i dont want to go for any surgery or hard treatment, is there anything that i can do by myself, please suggest thank you.

    1. Ethan Green

      Hi Sam
      Sorry to hear you’re having this issue. I think the best thing it so look at some medical websites for information about erectile dysfunction. There’s lots of good information available about it. I’d also recommend speaking to your doctor about it. They can advise you about treatment options, and then you can decide if you want it or not.
      Ethan

  29. Great website. I start using your start and stop technique and I started by needing to stop within three to four minutes even without lube. Now I am able to last 15 mins with lube. Over the last three weeks I have started using a flesh light. I can last close to 10 minutes without stopping but I need to be distracted by reading to last this long. If I try to use a flesh light without reading I last only 3 minutes or so and I read but stop reading I feel the urge to ejaculate within a few minutes after I stop reading. Based on this can you please give me your thoughts on why this is happening and also what issue may be causing premature ejaculation for me ? Is it anxiety that I need to work on? What should start doing to get passed the need to stay distracted to last longer?

    1. Ethan Green

      Hi there
      I’m happy to hear you like the website. It’s great that you’ve managed to improve your stamina so much – well done! I don’t think there’s anything wrong with distracting yourself to further improve your time. However, maybe it would be good to find something you could also do during sex, as reading isn’t going to be an option! So you could try focusing your mind away from the penis and to other parts of the body and how they feel. A trick some guys use is to curl their toes while masturbating or having sex. That can take all your focus away from the sexual aspect.
      Then perhaps if you do that for a while, you can slowly work on not having any distraction at all. But for now, I wouldn’t worry too much – you’re heading in the right direction, so just keep practising.
      Ethan

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