How To Last Longer In Bed: 25 Techniques For Better Control

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photo of six different delay sprays, priligy, viagra and numbing condoms

In the twelve years since I started this website, my partner and I have tested a huge range of methods to last longer in bed. We’d need all four hands, feet, and other bits to count how many techniques we’ve tried!

You can see some of the many desensitizing products we’ve given a go in the photo above. Some we still use from time to time as they proved to be effective; others either didn’t work well or gave me unpleasant side effects.

As well as going down the relatively easy ‘numb your penis with lidocaine’ path, there are many natural techniques to try if you’d like to improve your sexual stamina.

Some you just need to remember to do, such as spending less time in any positions you know make you climax quicker. Other techniques, like the start and stop method, require some time and dedication to reap the rewards.

Although some of the desensitizing options are very effective, I recommend trying the natural techniques too. If you’re currently sexually active, a spray or pill is an understandably attractive solution because it works right away. But if you’re single, or have plenty of time alone, you have nothing to lose in learning to delay your orgasms naturally.

The techniques

1. The start and stop method

The start and stop method is simple to learn and made a huge difference to my ejaculation control in just a few weeks.

The simple explanation is that you set yourself a time target such as 10 or 20 minutes. Then either during masturbation or sex, you stop and rest every time you feel yourself getting too aroused – until your time is up.

The idea is to learn where your ‘point of no return’ is and practice avoiding it by resting, or changing your position, rhythm, or speed. That’s why it’s sometimes called ‘edging’.

The trick is to learn how far you can push it in one position, speed, or rhythm before needing to stop. If you reach orgasm, you left it too late. If you need a long time to rest before starting again, try stopping earlier next time.

If you usually finish within a minute or two, 10 to 20 minutes might mean a lot of stopping and starting, which is fine. Stick with it though, and in a few weeks you’ll hopefully find you need fewer pauses.

2. Try a delay spray

delay sprays

Using a delay spray is a great way to reduce the stimulation you feel, and can add many minutes to your lasting time.

I used one when I first started trying to deal with the problem, had excellent results with it, and found it was a great confidence booster.

The best thing is probably that it’s an instant solution, especially if physical sensitivity is your main difficulty during sex.

The downside is that it’s not a cure, and you’ll need to use it each time you have sex. Take a look at my recommended delay sprays for more information about them, and some options to try out.

3. Choose less intense sex positions

Some sex positions are naturally easier to hold for longer; others will have you erupting faster than an Icelandic volcano.

Good positions are those that promote slower, shallower movements. They also tend to be ones where you don’t need to put in as much physical effort.

I know some men might find all positions are too intense, in which case I think extended foreplay in which you focus on your partner will help build your confidence. But if you do last long enough to have intercourse, keep these positions in mind.

May be easier to last longer:

  • The cowgirl – you lying down with her sitting on top.
  • The reverse cowgirl – her on top facing away from you.
  • spoons – her lying on the side and you behind her.
  • Side by side facing each other – both of you lying on the bed, with legs intertwined.
  • Sitting on the bed or in a chair – with her on top, you can relax more.

May be harder to last longer:

  • The missionary position.
  • Any position from behind (apart from spoons).
  • Most standing positions.
  • Oral sex.

4. Switch positions if you get too aroused

Changing sex position when your arousal is spiraling out of control is a great way to turn the temperature down a notch – at least for a while.

Another great trick is to completely withdraw and lavish your partner with your hand, tongue, sex toy, or anything else that they enjoy until you’re ready for action again.

5. Masturbate before having sex

Another classic technique is to masturbate an hour or two before you have sex. It might sound simple, but doing this made a big difference for me. I still keep this technique in mind if I haven’t seen my partner for a few days.

I don’t think the exact time beforehand is important. Just do it earlier in the day you think you’re likely to have sex so you’re less ready to explode when you next see your partner.

If you have the kind of partner who likes to have long, lingering sex sessions and is happy to wait for you to recover, then why not get them to help you out?

You can return the favor too, which takes the pressure off you to have amazing long-lasting sex the first time around. Then you can do whatever you enjoy doing together until you’re ready for action again.

Taking turns to try out some amateur massage is a great way to fill the time (and a good excuse to cover them in oil) .

6. Go for a second round

It’s very common for men to have less control the first time they have sex – especially after a gap of a day or more. Most mature adults understand this, so don’t worry if it’s all over quickly the first time.

Just be willing to continue the action with manual or oral stimulation. And when you’re ready for more, there’s a good chance it will be for considerably longer.

7. Try the 7 and 9 technique

This one is all about rhythm. Try to follow a stable pattern of 7 fast in/out strokes, followed by 9 slow in/out strokes. My partner is a particular fan of this technique, finding the rhythm enjoyable and exciting.

8. Don’t stop just because you had an orgasm

image of a woman lying on a bed

Sex should only end when both of you want it to end – not simply when you ejaculate. So if she’s still up for more, use your hands, give her oral sex or whatever she enjoys.

You might even recover in time for the second round while she’s getting even more aroused, increasing the chance of a mutual climax if you get the timing right.

I know this is similar to point six, but it’s so important that I think it’s worth rephrasing in a different way. The key point is to not think sex is over just because you came.

Your partner will tolerate your quick finishing a lot more if you give them some manual or oral sex, and stay awake for a second attempt.

Don’t make the rookie error of casually rolling onto them in bed, skipping foreplay, coming in a minute, rolling off, and falling asleep.

9. Have regular sex to get used to the intensity

Whether you’ve recently become sexually active, or have been for years, if you have sex regularly you should find you have better control.

I know from experience that when I have sex every day, my control is much better than when I only see my partner once or twice a week.

Obviously, it’s not always possible to arrange for sex to happen more regularly. But it’s an idea worth mentioning to your partner if they are invested in helping for both your sakes.

Practice makes perfect, as they say.

10. Keep calm and breathe

If your breathing during sex becomes fast and shallow, or you start making more noise than usual while breathing, it could be a sign you’re getting closer to the point of no return.

Fortunately, you can reduce your arousal by controlling your breathing during sex. Breathe IN slowly for 4 seconds. HOLD for 4 seconds. Then breathe OUT for 4 seconds.

If you can maintain this pattern, especially when feeling more aroused, it can help you stay in control of your body.

11. Relax your body

One of the reasons some positions are better for control is because it’s easier to stay relaxed in them. If you notice yourself tensing your stomach muscles, thighs, and glutes especially, then try to relax instead.

If you lie on your back with your partner on top, it’s easier to stay relaxed, and you should find you can breathe deeper and get back in control again.

12. Relax your mind

Relaxing the mind is a trickier beast to pin down. According to sex therapists, if you go into sex worrying about finishing quickly, you’re more likely to do so.

So try using positive affirmations during sex to relax yourself. I know it’s easier said than done, but it’s not impossible. Tell yourself you’re a good lover, feeling calm, and that everything is just fine.

Alternatively, work on your general level of stress and anxiety in life. If you’re under a lot of stress at the moment, then doing meditation, yoga or relaxation exercises daily could make a big difference.

If that all sounds a little too esoteric for you, just remember the breathing. That can help with both bodily and mental relaxation.

13. Wear a condom

trojan extended pleasure condom

Unprotected sex feels amazing but can feel just a bit too good sometimes. Adding a condom can really help knock the sensitivity down a level, and give you a fighting chance of coping with the intense stimulation

Try an extra thick condom for even more desensitizing, or a special delay condom to add a little extra numbing.

14. Use plenty of lubricant

The more lubricated your partner is, the less stimulation and pressure you’ll feel, especially when you first penetrate them, and so the longer you’ll last. It’s a good reason to spend plenty of time on foreplay.

Always have a bottle of quality lubricant to hand in case your partner doesn’t create enough lubricant naturally. If you’re pushing and it’s not sliding in nicely, get the lube out and make life easier for both of you.

15. Focus on the whole body

You’ve probably heard the classic advice of thinking about something boring or unpleasant. In my opinion, this is a crap idea. It’s no fun thinking about unpleasant things during sex, and your partner deserves your full attention anyway.

Instead, try to focus on all the different sensations in your body, and your partner’s too.

Don’t allow your mind to get stuck thinking only about the sensation in your genitals. Think how every part of your body feels from your toes to your fingers. Enjoy the complete experience.

16. Relax and do nothing

As I said before, relaxation is key. So much so, that relaxing to the point of doing absolutely nothing can help you last longer.

If you’re on your back you can try to totally relax and let her take control for a minute or two. Alternatively, both of you can simply lie still together with you inside and have a tantric moment.

This gives you a chance to focus on your breathing and lower your arousal level, as well as connect on a more profound level.

17. Vary your speed and depth of thrusting

If you go at it hammer and tongs, you’ll ejaculate sooner – it’s as simple as that.

Women also like variation. Sometimes thrust slowly, sometimes pause deep inside her, sometimes do very shallow thrusts and tease her at the entrance.

Personally, I’ve found that it helps to mix two things. Sometimes I’ll stay deep inside, and then only move in and out a little, so the depth is maintained.

And then I’ll almost totally withdraw, only moving my penis head in and out very slowly. I might then do a few very slow shallow thrusts, followed by a very slow and deep thrust.

18. Refocus yourself physically

This isn’t my personal favorite, but I know some men say it helps. Any small repetitive action with your body can help shift your attention from your groin. For example, gently curling the toes on one foot repeatedly.

19. Don’t start off hard and fast

At the beginning of any sexual experience, the pleasure can be overwhelming. Take it easy when you first penetrate your partner – get used to the pleasure and build up slowly.

If you can get through the first couple of minutes without too much stimulation, you might go longer than with a frenzied start.

20. Count an action

This is a variation on the classic distraction technique, and better than thinking about paint drying.

Try counting your thrusts or your breath, or anything else which is easy and rhythmic to focus on. Not my personal favorite, but again, some men say this technique helps.

21. Spend longer on foreplay, with a focus on your partner

man and woman in bed

This is one of the most important tips I can give you, stemming from the basic concept that men often get aroused faster than women.

The longer you spend on good foreplay (giving her as much pleasure as you can think of) the better.

First, it takes the pressure off you, especially if you give her an orgasm first. Second, it raises her arousal to be closer to yours, so you may not even need to last so long when you do eventually have sex.

Finally, surveys show time and time again that many women wish that foreplay lasted longer. I also know from personal experience of talking openly with different partners, that they always like lengthy foreplay.

Sure, a quickie is exciting from time to time. But that’s no excuse for always skipping foreplay so you can get to the main course.

22. Talk to your partner about it

If you talk openly about having problems with your sexual stamina, it will take the pressure off you. You can then work together and many of the techniques in this article will be easier to implement.

I recommend doing this with positivity and a sense of humor. I’ve actually experimented with the way I tell women I have a ‘problem’. They always react better when I frame it with smiles, laughter, and jokes than when I get all serious and vulnerable about it.

I don’t mean to ridicule yourself or be flippant. It’s more about keeping it lighthearted and showing you’re aware of the problem and in control of working on it, and it doesn’t have to be in awkward silence.

23. Explore tantric sex

Tantra has a lot to say about the way people have sex, and how there are other ways to go about it. It’s worth looking into as one of the core teachings is about slowing everything down.

One idea you can try now is to spend time massaging your partner before you get to more sexual foreplay.

She may love you for it, and perhaps make her more likely to want sex more often if she’s currently avoiding it due to your quick finishing.

24. Kegels and reverse kegels

Kegels are potentially very useful for ejaculation control, but it’s important to understand how and when to do them correctly (read my article about kegel exercises for full instructions.)

The idea is to develop your pelvic floor muscles through exercises you can do in your own time. The muscles used are identified by stopping yourself mid-flow when peeing.

That same squeeze/contraction is something you can then do to stop yourself from ejaculating just before it happens.

You can also learn to keep the same muscles relaxed during sex up until that point of ejaculation. By actively relaxing that pelvic area, either through general relaxation or reverse kegels, you might find you last longer.

25. Consider talking to your doctor

I’ve left this until last because I know many men don’t feel comfortable about sexual problems with their doctor.

However, your doctor can give you qualified advice, based on your personal medical history.

There are several possible physical causes, as well as psychological and behavioral. If this is a severe problem for you, it’s worth considering – even if it sounds like an embarrassing or awkward idea. A doctor can also explain the pharmacological options.

They can recommend or refer you to a counselor or sex therapist if they feel there might be a psychological or behavioral cause.

Final Word

The key point to take away is to keep an open mind, be willing to try different approaches and move on if they don’t work.

My view is that the best approach is to hit the problem from every possible angle. The more techniques you put into practice, the better chance you’ll have of improving your sexual stamina.

Your ideas

What works, or doesn’t work, for you? Let me know in the comments below!


  1. Would this work. If when about to bust, pull out and eat her out till u calm down. Its kinda like da start and stop idk just thought it would work

    • Hi there
      Yes, that can definitely work! It’s a trick I use myself a lot during sex, and one I recommend trying. An alternative is to give her oral sex first, and then have sex once she’s reached climax or is very turned on so you don’t need to last as long anyway.
      But yes, for guys with PE, oral sex should be high on your list of activities!

  2. Wanting to find out how couples have hard sex and lasting days non stop. And be able to go right back at it again. With other couples too communicating and using sex toys such as vibrators and going harder and faster and just lasting for a couple of hours before taking a break. Slapping ass with hand or different toy. Moaning and groaning and just screwing! Listening to about 3 couples doing it now, live in an apartment complex and wow. going on day 3. How do they do this?

    • It’s also possible that they were using drugs to pull it off, I’ve heard that meth and ecstasy can allow them to do that. Just like the psych drugs they interfere with your nerve receptors, but in a much more intense, and ultimately dangerous way.
      By the way, your apartment house must have been a real crackerbox with thin walls, and zero soundproofing.

    • Hi Rohit
      I agree about long foreplay being a good thing, and changing poses too. The doggie can be a bit overwhelming for some men though. So if it does turn you on too much, it’s one to spend a little less time doing.

  3. Thanks for the tips. I have problems lasting more than a minute or two normally and it’s doing my head in. Hopefully these tips will work for me.

  4. I usually last 25 minutes or so tops on a good day but I noticed in threesomes you bust much quicker, any ideas on that?

  5. Great article, thanks ethan! I only last a minute or two usually and it’s causing me problems with my gf. I’ll try some of these ideas that I haven’t before.

  6. I get off quick and it was never a problem until i stopped taking Paxil after being on it for 10 years. Ever since i get off too quick and its frustrating. I always give my wife oral sex though and she gets off. Also sometimes we both get off together quick. But yes id like to last longer. Sometimes its way too quick and pisses her off

    • Hi Roger
      Thanks for sharing your experience of Paxil – it’s interesting to hear from you, as medication like that is known to help with PE for some guys. I guess now you need to try other things to see if you can get the same effect. Hopefully the ideas in this article will help you get there.

    • Paxil is an anti depressant, and anti depressants, as well as many psych drugs, seem to depress libido, though it seems that it did so in a positive way in your case. In others it kills all interest, or prevents arousal, some people call it chemical castration, but I think that is a side effect rather then the intention due to blocking certain nerve receptors. What you are suffering from almost seems like a form of withdrawal from the drug, it was part of your system for ten years, now it’s gone, and it hasn’t become used to it yet.

  7. had this problem of ejaculating 1 or 2 min, and after reading the article i have learn important technique and hoping it will help me last longer

  8. Great article! I’m going to try these techniques out with my partner as soon as possible and hope we have much better sex.

  9. Awesome article and tips. I’ve tried one or two before, but am hopefully these techniques will help me last longer now.

  10. have been making use of the technique of masturbating b4 sex buh it failed me last month, me and my new gurlfrnd wanted to have sex so we started romancing each other, so in the process she started giving me blow job, and I just cum immediately……..and we couldn’t have sex again…..I don’t kW if its bcos she gave me blow job or bcos I din eat before having the sex ….bruh pls help me out

    • Hi Valentine
      Perhaps the answer in that moment would have been to then give her oral sex in return. That gives you time to stop stressing about your quick ejaculation, pleasure her and perhaps recover again to be able to have sex another time. It might also be that you just didn’t have any more libido in you if you masturbated just before sex. Perhaps you needed a little longer to recover after your second ejaculation. And yes, I’ve also noticed that if I’m hungry, it can affect my erection quality, so make sure you’re not hungry next time. There are also many tips in this article for you to try, so if you put them into use next time, hopefully you’ll last longer.

  11. Wow, thanks for so many great ideas!! I have a serious problem with sex and usually come in less than a minute or two if it’s a good day. I hope your tips help me! There are many here which I know I don’t do now, so you’ve really given me some hope here! Thanks

    • Hi David
      Great to hear the article was useful. If you put all of these tips into practice, it should make a big difference. It can take some time and effort to remember to do all of them, and to be able to do them naturally. But stick with it, and you should see results pretty quickly.
      All the best

  12. You have succeded in exhausting all possible ways of treating this problem..thanks man…i believe it gonna b okay

  13. Thanks for sharing all of these ideas for free, and for all the other helpful articles you’ve written. I’ve read several of your articles now, and am really impressed with the quality and the fact that you try to help guys out so much in the comments. Keep up the good work man!

    • Hi Mark
      Thank you for your kind words – it’s always encouraging to hear that my readers appreciate the site and the help I try to provide in the comments:-)

  14. Wow this is just what I was looking for! My bf often ejaculate in a min or two and it’s very frustrating when he does. We’ve tried some techniques before to get him going longer, but there are some hear we haven’t seen before, so thanks very much!

  15. Hi there,
    Thanks for the article. I appreciate that it isn’t a sales spiel masked as an advice piece.
    My question is about penis extenders. I have thought about wearing one thinking it m might reduce the sensitivity or even if I do ejaculate early, we can still have sex. But I don’t know if you need to be hard when wearing them.
    Sorry if it is a stupid question, but an y help would be appreciated.

    • Hi Andrew
      I’m glad you liked the article! I don’t think penis extenders will have any effect on your lasting time. As far as I know, they are designed for just size and curvature issues, and have no effect on stamina at all. I’d try the other ideas in the article instead!

  16. Great article thank you. I have a question: you mention the start and stop method isn’t helpful for guys that barely ever get to penetration. That’s my issue and it’s insanely embarrassing. Do you have tips for guys like me?

    • Hi George
      To be honest, I think you can still try the technique if you want to, but you’ll have to adapt it. So when having foreplay, manual or oral sex with your partner, you’d use it to try and control your arousal and not ejaculate. For example, if your partner just strokes and caresses you, if you feel yourself getting too aroused, you can stop before ejaculation. Then after 30 seconds, ask them to continue. Then build from there to manual and oral, and eventually penetrative sex.

  17. Hi Ethan. Thanks for d article.

    wanna start practicing d start n stop techniques in the morning and night everyday for 3 months.

    Now my question is do I av to allow myself cum after repeating d step several times. Like I said, I wanna b doing it everyday. will releasing every morning n night for 3 months not have anoda effect on me??m

    • Hi Alex
      You’re welcome – I’m glad it was helpful! You can come every time you practice the technique if you like, after repeating the steps a few times. There’s no problem with repeating this.

  18. I find this article quite interesting, natural and real. Just want to know what to do for my hubby to like the doggy, he always get muscle cramps, he loves the halter neck the most ( Missionary position with both legs on his neck)

    • Hi there
      Thanks – I’m glad you enjoyed the article! I guess you just have to tell him how much you like it yourself. Hopefully he’ll do it for your sake. There are different ways, so perhaps try different positions using the bed, sofa, chair, whatever it might be to find one he is comfortable in and doesn’t get cramps.

  19. Thanks for the article. Question: how long, with stop-and-start practice, does it take before you see improvement and will not need to rely on delaying sprays, climax control condoms, and other such short-term solutions?

    • Hi zmk
      You’re welcome! That’s a tricky question to answer, if I’m honest. Some guys will see results in a week, some take a few and others maybe a couple of months. But the point is that from the moment you start, you’ll be improving even if it doesn’t seem like it at first. I think that once you set your mind to doing the start and stop technique, it’s only a matter of time before you get an understanding of your arousal levels, and start learning the see the signs that you’re overheating and take action to reduce your excitement. So my opinion is that the sooner you start practicing the technique, the better. It may be a while before you can completely get rid of the delay products, but it’s well worth the time and effort.

      • Thanks for your reply! I’ve tried the stop-and-start for a few weeks now (trying to do it somewhat regularly) and I have seen some improvement by myself but not quite during sex. I’m hoping it’s just a matter of time and then I’ll notice a difference. I did try using Durex Performax Intense condoms (delaying ones) and one of the times using it I noticed a great difference – I could last much longer. I tried it again another day and there was not such a difference and I was disappointed (we tried a different position and perhaps that affected it). I’m gonna keep on working on natural techniques and I’ll check out one of the guides suggested but in the meanwhile I’ll try delaying condoms (or perhaps sprays). But I was wondering if it was possible to overuse them and become dependent on them, inadvertently making my problem worse? Or am I just overworrying?

        Thanks again for all the advice

        • Hi there
          You’re welcome. I think it’s normal to have some progress and steps backwards when you start exploring these methods. It can take some time to tackle the problem on a more lasting basis, despite what some people claim. The key is to keep on practicing the techniques, and trying different things. I think as long as you sometimes try and have sex without the desensitizing aids just to see how much progress you’re making, it’s fine to keep using them.

  20. Hey awesome article, I was just wondering when I was younger I kind of trained my self to ejaculate really quick not knowing that it would affect me in sexual intercourse. You think stopping masterbation would help me last longer?

    • Hi Jason
      Glad you like the article! No, stopping masturbation is only likely to make it more difficult for you when you have sex. It’s better to use masturbation to build your stamina by taking your time over it and learning to control your arousal levels better.

  21. Hello my friend
    Thank you for your beautiful full article
    I wanted to ask you that, apart from these other ways to deal with premature ejaculation or not?
    I have a lot of pills and gels such as lidocaine ointment I used a condom Ekeh also somewhat delayed, but the fun has lost relationship.

    • Hi Farhad
      Thanks for your compliment – I’m glad you enjoyed the article! I think I’ve covered most of the easier tips which you can use straight away. There are longer-term exercises you can try as I mentioned in the article. And there are some sexual stamina guides which are good, and contain ideas I just don’t have space to cover in this article.

      In terms of products like condoms and delay sprays, there are lots of different options. Sometimes it’s a case of trial and error until you find one which works really well. Lots of them just aren’t particularly good, unfortunately. I think there are companies out there just sticking lidocaine in a gel or spray can, coming up with a cool name and hoping it sells! There aren’t that many that seem to put a lot of effort into research and development.

      My advice generally would be to work on the natural control exercises, use the tips in the article, and perhaps if you need it try a different desensitizing option.


    This is the best article ever on PE really…i wish all the guys read this page. Internet is full of crap articles on PE with copy-paste work but this one is magic. Pretty sure the guy has successfully dealt with the problem personally and that is the beauty of it.

    In my opinion, Of all the techniques natural method of start and stop is best since it will work for almost everyone. kegels must supplement it then breathe slowly and stay relaxed. It will take years to master and it will be really painful too!!! Trust me meditation is 10 times easier. But keep the end result in mind and stay focused.

    • Hi there

      Thanks for your comment and for your very kind words! I’m really happy to hear you liked the article so much. Yes, I have had premature ejaculation personally and dealt with it. And yes, you’re right in that it can take time to master, but is well worth the wait.
      Thanks again for making me smile on a Monday morning!

  23. this is an awesome article – thanks for sharing all these tips. I tried some before, but there are some new ones here for me to try. much appreciated!!

  24. Hello Ethan, reading through the article, I can’t help but to just bookmark and see how much of a practice I can put the techniques in it. My experience about PE is just so embarrassing that it mostly keeps me awake most night, although I used to feel this is the consequence of repeated/non controlled masturbation or porn movies until I read a previous comment on the article. Everything I have read so far surely gave a hope but I am hoping for a better and wilder sexual experiences with your recommendations, thanks.

    • Hi Segun
      Thanks for your comment and I’m really glad you found the article helpful. I hope you have success with these techniques and that your sex life improves.

  25. Hello Ethan!!

    I just recently got into a relationship and the girl I’m now with wants to have sex for the first time but I’ve been off putting it. I’ve had many problems in the past with premature ejaculation and I’ve always lacked sexual confidence because of it, despite being an apparently really smooth guy.

    I want to please her however I can and I’ve been considering getting a desensitizing spray as you’ve mentioned in the article because I’ve heard great things. But before I resort to using anything like that, I’m curious as to what your advice would be for lasting longer without the use of medication, aids, or supplements of any sort.

    I just want to make her happy because I know she’s got a very large sexual stamina and this roadblock is really starting to ruin my relationship with her on an intimate level. I’d appreciate any advice you can offer, as the internet is full of way too many different ideas and half of them never seem to work anyways.

    Many thanks,
    A troubled friend

    • Hi Sully
      Thanks for your comment, and I understand your distress about this situation. The problem is that not every technique or product works for every guy. There’s a certain degree of experimentation that’s often required, unless you get lucky and find something that works straight away. I try to recommend the best of each style of treatment, but even then, it depends on whether that style will work for you, no matter how good the option is compared to others, if that makes sense?

      My opinion is that the best option is to do the natural training path. However, that takes time. So if you need something for tomorrow night for example, it’s not going to help you by then.

      So if time is of the urgency, this is what I’d do:

      1. Try a delay spray. Get one of the better ones like promescent for example. If you can’t get that or it’s too expensive, then try on of the others I talk about in my review of delay sprays. Then at least you have something you can use straight away.

      2. Read the article again, and remember to try as many of the tips as possible. Lots of these can work wonders – especially wearing a condom and masturbating before you meet her.

      3. Get onto the natural training path as soon as possible. The delay spray may or may not work, and even if it does it’s never going to cure you, and to be honest is a bit of a pain to have to use every time you have sex. It’s not exactly a romantic thing to be using, especially with a new partner. My opinion is that with re-training, you can cure the problem outright, even though it takes time. So the sooner you start the better. And in some cases, just the information you learn when reading a good premature ejaculation book can have a positive effect, even before you start practicing the techniques. And again, if you don’t have the money to buy one, then at least have a read around this website for some of my other tips here and there.

      4. Make sure you do some reading on ways to pleasure her manually, orally and with great foreplay. That way you can bring her arousal up to meet yours, and still pleasure her even if you end up finishing too quickly. Bear in mind that a sexual encounter doesn’t end when you orgasm. You should get right back into the action and do other things to pleasure her. Have a read of my article about giving a woman oral sex as a starter. One guy wrote an amazing comment with his technique which many readers have since come back and said worked wonders – myself included!

      So there you go. I hope that helps a bit!

  26. Ethan green, that was such a comprehensive and complete article. it had everything.
    Just like u, i use tramadol for my backache. And i have observed huge extension in time delay, its really huge, and makes it 10-15 times more. maybe i last longer already.

    i have been taking it for my backache, and it really is addictive, and causes insomnia, the worst thing. i quit it, easily when i knew about these side effects and i’m confident its not gonna make me addict. i haven’t seen any other side effect either. whenever, i’m too tired, or drive a lot, and feel backache, i use it. sometimes, after 3 weeks. after 2 weeks, or a month etc.
    now, i want to know, if i use this before having sex, what do u really mean by addiction, i mean, if i keep using it with the frequency, like after 3 weeks, or 1 week, is it addiction ???? although, i can live happily without using it ? please, reply.

    • Hi zooshoo

      Thanks for your comment, and that’s a good question. To be honest, I think the best thing I can do is to give you a link to a website which has a more complete definition of addiction than I can give you personaly. Have a look at this article.

  27. This article is so rich and educative.I have various articles and they are like ‘bits’ but yours is wholesome.Thumbs up.Positions,kegel,breathing,etc are all superb.Its working for me and helping me to last longer.I just need to keep on practising.I advice guys to KEEP ON PRACTISING THE TECHNIQUES AND KEEP ON AT IT.Thanks

  28. Hi everyone
    The only solution I know that work well for PE is this.
    Firstly you need to know that the highly sensitivity part of the penis is the cap i.e the head of the penis. So when thrusting in and out, make sure you prevent your cap coming out fully i.e thrust in fully and come out in a half way. This technique really really works well it’s 90% effective. But don’t forgot this,,,,don’t be eager or in haste to go down with her, try more foreplay to bring your partner near to climax. I hope these little idea of mine will help many guys out there….
    @ethangreen you’re really doing good job here, pls….keep it up, kudos to you.

    • Hi there
      Thanks for the comment, and the compliment. I think your idea is a good one, though sometimes even that movement is too much for many guys. I do find that sometimes by keeping it in deeply and only moving it a little it helps to keep going rather than doing long thrusts, and as you say coming too far out.

  29. I just want to mention I’m really impressed with this article! Nearly every site I see is nothing but a sales ploy. Your article (and others I’ve read) are very detailed and clearly show you are interested in actually helping people. Thanks

  30. Hello
    I’m also grateful for this honest and helpful page. I’m going to try out a few of the techniques and see what happens. I also like your idea that you should try different things. Like you say most people only tell you to do whatever they will benefit from, but your idea that different things work for different people makes total sense.

  31. hi there!
    i took part in this discussion for having a prob of pe.
    i got married few days back n now i can’t ejaculate.
    bit of an history is that before marriage i noticed blood in my semen.
    visited doctor, ultra sound..ok urine test…ok
    my question is that if every thing is fine, then why cant i ejaculate and my erection’s gone weak, why is there slight pain in the region beside penis leg n sack?

    • To ‘in a shell’

      Congratulations on getting married first of all!
      I’m sorry to hear you’re having new problems. Unfortunately I can’t give you any kind of medical diagnosis based on what you’ve said. I am not a doctor, so would only be guessing. If you’re still having problems with pain (sorry it took a while to respond to your message) then I would once again advise speaking to your doctor.
      As for not being able to ejaculate, there are many possible explanations. Some could be health related – physical or psychological. Some could be due to any training you have been doing to try to deal with PE.
      Sorry I can’t help more. This website is primarily about premature ejaculation, and although I do discuss some other sex-related topics, when it comes to some medical issues – such as someone saying they have pains or blood where they shouldn’t, the most responsible thing I can do is refer people to their doctor.
      All the best

  32. Thank you for putting this all together. It’s good to hear from someone who understands what PE is like and has a realistic attitude to dealing with it.
    I read your review of the fleshlight as well, and wanted to ask you if you can use that to test a delay spray if you don’t have a partner at the moment or if you’ll only really know how it works when you have sex? Thanks.

    • Hi Stephan

      I’m glad you found it useful, and yes, unfortunately I do understand what it’s like!

      To answer your question, I think you can test out desensitizing sprays or creams with a male sex toy. But you’ll probably be able to tell whether it is numbing you or not without using one.

      If you want to know exactly how well it numbs you though, and where the best parts to rub it in are then it could be a good way of experimenting.

  33. This is a really useful article and I’m very grateful that you’ve put it online for free. As you so rightly say, most guides of this kind of length just turn out to be sales pitches. So it’s great that you’ve written such detailed descriptions of the techniques. And I really appreciate your honesty in talking about the various different products. Very refreshing!

    I do have a question. You talk a lot about premature ejaculation, which as I understand it is more about guys who come within a minute or two. But what if you can last 5-7 minutes, but it’s still not as long as you would like. What would you say is the best way to increase that lasting time?


    • Hi John

      Thank you for your comment, and your compliments. I’m really glad that the article is getting read, and proving to be helpful. As I said, I struggled to find good information when I first got started dealing with premature ejaculation, and found it very frustrating. So it’s a pleasure to help others out.

      So to answer your questions, firstly there may be many guys reading this and thinking ‘if only I could last 5-7 minutes – that guy doesn’t have a problem at all!’. But the reality is that although PE can be defined in pure time (either under 1 or 2 minutes of penetrative sex, depending on which definition you look at), it can also be defined in terms of simply not lasting as long as you or your partner need/want you to.

      So what can you do? Well really I think the same advice applies whether you last 1, 5 or 10 minutes. Though I believe it may be easier to improve your time if you’re already able to last a few minutes.

      It may be that some of the tips in section 6 help you. It could be that you’ve be hooked on a position which is draining your stamina quicker for example. So you could try putting those tips together.

      The techniques like the start and stop method can definitely be tried to increase how long you last for during sex – either alone or with a willing partner. And as far as I’m aware, delay sprays work aren’t just for guys with severe premature ejaculation, but can work well for guys who just want to increase their time.

      So the answer is that all the options are still open to you and it’s up to you to experiment.

      All the best and thanks again for the comment.


  34. It’s a nice article…but I’ve been masturbating for over 15 years…on a non stop scale…Now I think PE is my 2nd name. I’ve got in to so many problems with my ex girlfriend over this issue…once I get in contact with the vagina..then I’m done. It’s so stressful and I am scared in getting into relationships. I blame myself and regret more than anything else for getting myself trapped through excessive masturbation. I’ve tried to stop it several times but it didn’t cure it coz I think my mind and penis are programed to simply splash out.. MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE..I would like to have a normal life and relationship. Maybe this spray solution could help my problem as my penis is extra sensitive to any touching except that I couldn’t try it as it’s not available where I am from. My advice to guys is DON’T EVER MASTURBATE…THERE IS NOTHING GOOD IN IT.

    • Hi INH

      Thanks for taking the time to comment and share your very personal experience with premature ejaculation. I’m sorry to hear that it’s been such a difficult problem for you and is affecting your relationships. I think your comment highlights some very important things that many guys will be able to relate to, even though I think your end advice is a bit extreme and not something I personally agree with.

      You are, however, right in that masturbation can in some circumstances lead to premature ejaculation. Though it obviously doesn’t for all guys, and not even for all guys who have problems with ejaculation control.

      It’s usually when guys don’t realise that doing it as quickly as possible is basically training themselves to have the same happen when they have sex. Combine that with the fear of being ‘caught in the act’ etc and it’s not surprising that a problem develops. Many people, myself included, believe that this can sometimes be reversed and you can re-train yourself to last longer in bed with techniques like the start and stop method – during masturbation and/or during sex.

      In an ideal world guys would not need to reverse it because they would have always masturbated in a way that they take their time, and so get used to experiencing prolonged levels of stimulation. But who teaches guys that when they’re younger? Nobody of course…

      But at the end of the day masturbation is a normal and healthy behavior. If you never do it, then when it comes to sex many guys are quite likely to have even worse problems with their stamina. So my advice is to do it, but take your time and learn how your body and mind react to sexual stimulation and learn to control your reaction to that stimulation.

      As for a desensitizing spray like Promescent, yes it may well help. Have you checked recently if you can get hold of it? I believe it’s now available in more countries outside of the United States. If not, you may be able to find a different one in your country. It’s unlikely to be as good, but could still be worth trying.

      You may also find it helpful to tackle the stress and anxiety that you seem to be describing. This is something which can be a vicious circle and in itself cause you problems. Have a look at the page about sexual performance anxiety I mentioned in the article.

      All the best

  35. Well,
    Doc had a look at my testes, recommended some supplements/vitamins and said go get married if u face any problem, then come back.
    I asked him about kegel exercises but he had no idea what I was talking about.

    • I’m glad to hear there was nothing serious going on then.

      I’m surprised he didn’t know about kegels. Even though not everyone does, I would have thought a doctor would have at least heard of them. Perhaps it’s not such common knowledge in your part of the world.

      All the best

  36. Thanks Ethan,
    I have finally made my mind to see a doctor. In a day or two I’ll visit him with high hopes, n update you as well.

  37. Hello there!
    I read through your article, really encouraging.
    Its a long story to discuss, but I’ll cut it short.
    I experienced erections at a very early age n got myself into the habit of masturbation (every day, sometimes more than once a day) for like 5 years. Then I got into the trap of PE, having breathing problem, blood in stool, consistent yellowish colour of semen. I considerably reduced my masturbation, only did it to see if the things have improved, I don’t have blood in stool issue any more neither shortness of breath, however I ejaculate quick with mostly yellow semen.
    Never discussed it with anyone, being in a part of world where masturbation is not considered acceptable.
    I can have an erection, my pal is often erect in the morning. When masturbating I ejaculate within 2min. Am 27 n I smoke.
    Fact is that in a 2 month time I’m getting married, should I rely on exercises?

    • Hi there

      First of all thanks for taking the time to leave a comment – it’s always much appreciated. And I’m glad you found the article encouraging.

      Yellow semen can be caused by a range of factors, and is normally temporary. But if you have other symptoms (as you did it seems), or it continues for several weeks, then it’s best to get it checked out by a doctor. It might be nothing to worry about, but it could be a sign of something underlying it which can be treated.

      Without wanting to worry you, there are some medical conditions which can cause premature ejaculation. If you do have one and deal with it, it might also help you last longer.

      If not, then the question is should you just rely on exercises. Well, as I said in the article, whatever you find works for you is what I would do.

      You can certainly try an exercise like the start-stop method and see how it goes. 2 months should be more than enough time to see if it helps increase how long you can masturbate for.

      But whether to rely on it alone? That’s up to you to decide. You could always try out a desensitizing product too. There’s not harm, and nothing wrong, with trying different ways.

      Good luck with it, and all the best for your wedding!


    • It was great articles, I want share my story and please help me and save my marriage, (sorry for my English)
      I am 41 and have 3to 4 years permanent ejaculation,
      Cum less then 10 second, so embarrassing and almost divorce , I am married about 20 years,and 3 kids,
      For trying fix, I order priligy 60 mg online overseas, I received it 25 days later I popped it 9.30 and start to sex with my wife 2 hours later, Its effects just 1 million. And my wife not orgasm again, ( bad side effect with priligy 60mg ) I go doctor, he proscribed cialis 5m, I popped it 2×5 10 mg ,this time never worked, back to another doctor he told me use 5m daily cialis and spray, I used both still no result, now I’m so tired and disappointed, what medication should I use? I want try tramadol I heard it works well, please advise me with your experience, Thanks

      • Hi Justin,

        Thanks for your comment, and I’m glad you found the article helpful. You can find out what I think in this article I wrote about taking tramadol to help with premature ejaculation. It’s not my ideal solution, but you might find it an interesting read.
        My advice, as with everyone, is to think about the natural techniques approach. If nothing else has worked, then that’s the only thing you have left! And even if medication does work, I still that that’s a better option. If you start at out homepage and follow the suggestions, you’ll get a clear idea of all your different options.
        All the best

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