Reverse Kegels – My Step By Step Guide

Out of all the premature ejaculation techniques, reverse kegels seem to cause the most confusion – especially when learning which muscles to use.

Despite the initial difficulty, it’s worth sticking with it, as it’s a useful technique for keeping yourself calm during sex. And in my experience, it’s more effective than repeatedly trying to keep the point of no return at bay with your strongest kegel squeeze.

In this article, you’ll learn exactly how to do reverse kegels and why it’s important to practice them alongside normal kegels. I’ll also suggest how to add reverse kegels into the routine described in my complete guide to kegels.

Why are reverse kegels difficult?

The physical ‘how to’ is the part that people struggle with the most. It’s not easy working out which muscles to target, and even harder to do the right thing with those muscles.

There are three reasons I think men have problems with this:

  • You haven’t done enough normal kegels, so you don’t understand the muscles involved.
  • The movement you need to do is a bit strange, which makes you doubt it’s right.
  • Knowing exactly when to do reverse kegels during sex is confusing in itself.

Many readers have left comments or emailed me in the years since first writing this article to say they aren’t sure if they’re doing it right. So I’ve since edited it to try and make it as clear as possible.

I hope you find it helpful!

First of all learn normal kegels

The best way to identify the correct muscles is to first learn how to do normal kegels. Reverse kegels are targeting the same muscles, but in a more subtle way.

These aren’t muscles you normally have an awareness of, and it can take time to develop the ability to either squeeze or relax them. It’s much easier to develop the first stages of control through doing normal kegels.

So if you get the hang of normal ones, you’ll have a much better chance of being sure you’re doing reverse kegels correctly.

Reverse kegels step by step

Step 1

Remember the classic kegel instructions about stopping yourself in the middle of peeing? This time, when you go for a pee try to gently force it out faster instead.

This is basically a reverse kegel of the key muscle – the Bulbocavernosus muscle – located at the base of the penis. You only need to do this once to get an idea for what it feels like. After that don’t try forcing out your pee any more and continue on to the next steps.

Step 2

Sit comfortably in a chair and relax for a few moments. Now gently try to simulate the muscle movement you would make if trying to do a poo or fart (don’t blame me for any accidents!)

This movement will be doing a reverse kegel of the Pubococcygeus muscle. Though it will also probably engage the Bulbocavernosus muscle as well.

Note: It’s unclear how important it is to be able to do a reverse kegel with both the front and back muscles. In my experience, the front one (Bulbocavernosus muscle) is more effective in controlling ejaculation.

However, it’s good to try to learn both as you may find that you need to focus on relaxing the entire area to develop any kind of control. Isolating them takes a lot of practice, so for now don’t worry if the whole area moves when practicing. Better control should develop naturally in time.

Step 3

Did you notice in both of these steps some movement in your stomach muscles, perhaps expanding or tensing? If not, do them again and you’ll probably notice some movement or tension.

This isn’t something to aim for when doing reverse kegels eventually, but it can help at the start to identify the correct movement.

Step 4

Now it’s time to add some breathing. Do the same steps again, but this time breathe in while doing them and allow your belly to expand. This is known as breathing from the diaphragm.

Most people breathe by expanding their chest. But you can also breathe by expanding your stomach instead. You might find that doing this helps you focus the movement on the BC muscle.

Step 5

Now you can put it all together. Do the simulated peeing and pooing motion, but also breathing out slowly from your belly, whilst keeping some light tension in the belly.

With the breathing and tensing, you should feel much more able to isolate the muscles and do a good reverse kegel. It does take practice though, so keep at it. You can try this for a few minutes a day until you get it right.

Step 6

Now for the really tricky part. Can you do reverse kegels without the help of breathing and tensing?

This can take a lot of practice, and even then you may never be able to do it without at least a little tension and stomach expansion. That’s fine, just try to reduce how much you rely on using the stomach to get the job done.

The key point here is that you need to be really relaxed. You need to mentally go inside your body and visualize the muscles relaxing and pushing out slightly.

Breathe slowly, deeply and relaxed while doing so, and try to focus on the area where the BC muscle is. Allow it to relax just by keeping your mind on it and trying to gently encourage it with your muscle control.

Step 7

Now’s the time for some real practice. While masturbating you can try to do 3 different things.

  1. Do normal kegels and see what effect it has on your sense of control.
  2. Switch to reverse kegels and see what happens to your physical arousal and control.
  3. Then try to just relax the whole area.

There’s no set way to do this, and it involves some experimenting and creativity from you. In my experience, it took a couple of weeks of playing around with the concept 3 or 4 times a week.

Eventually I discovered that keeping relaxed was best. And when I felt tension creeping in, doing a reverse kegel could help restore the relaxation.

Step 8

If you have a partner you can eventually try reverse kegels during sex. In my experience, it’s best to do it when you’re on your back and she’s on top.

That way you have the best chance of relaxing and isolating the correct muscles. Again, some experimentation with positions might be needed before you find the right one to help you focus and relax.

Why are reverse kegels important?

This is the most important point you might ever learn about kegels: guys often train a very strong PC or BC muscle because they read somewhere that it can stop them ejaculating.

Then they go overboard and try to hold the muscles as much as possible during sex. Either that or they think it gives them a better erection, so they continually pump the BC muscle during sex.

This is counterproductive though and encourages quicker ejaculation. Instead, normal kegel holds should only be done at the very last moment to try to stop yourself ejaculating. Or in the beginning to help yourself get a good erection.

If you’re trying to last longer, then at all other times during sex you should keep the PC and BC muscles relaxed. And doing reverse kegels is one way to accomplish this for three reasons:

  • By training reverse kegels along with normal ones, you develop balance and control of the pelvic floor muscles.
  • If you aren’t able to keep relaxed during sex, then actively doing the motion of reverse kegels can help to achieve the relaxed pelvic floor you need to be able to last longer.
  • If you train it to a high level, you may be able to do reverse kegels so well that you can stop yourself ejaculating. You can do this before the point of no return and it’s usually more successful than waiting until the point when you need to do normal kegels.

So in some ways you’re giving yourself two opposite weapons in the battle. You can do reverse kegels and keep relaxed as much as possible. Then if it all fails, switch to a normal kegel squeeze just before the moment of no return.

And finally, doing reverse kegels can help stop you from overtraining and creating an imbalance in your pelvic floor. To reap all the benefits of kegels, you must work on balance and control, not pure strength.

A reverse kegel routine

In the previous article I mentioned earlier I described a 4 week basic kegels routine. I recommend reading that and then try these plans:

Plan A

You can do each normal kegel routine each day as described. Then at the end spend 2 or 3 minutes practicing reverse kegels.

So you could for example do this:

  • Sit or lie down and relax for a minute.
  • Breathe in for the count of 4 seconds and do a reverse kegel. Either with or without tension and belly breathing. Do whichever you can manage.
  • Stop, relax and breathe out for 4 seconds.
  • Repeat 9 more times, to make 10 sets.
  • Do the same again, but this time breathing in for 6 seconds. Breathing out normally at the end of each 6 seconds.
  • Now try and do the reverse kegel 10 times with normal breathing. See how much harder it is when you’re breathing out?
  • Finally hold the relaxed pushing out feeling for 30 seconds or as long as you can.

This is only a basic example routine, and you can add more sets and times to it as you get better at it.

Plan B

This time instead of doing the reverse kegels after the normal ones, you can do them alternately. Again it’s up to you to decide how to mix the sets, and it doesn’t really matter how you do it. Just don’t overdo it by doing it too many strong kegels.

Plan C

The final way is to do the normal kegal routine on one day, and the reverse routine either at a separate time the same day, or even the next day.

There’s no scientific evidence suggesting one way is better than another, so in my opinion you should aim for variety. Muscles adapt to training quickly, so the more you surprise them, the better the results.

Still having trouble identifying the right muscles?

Many guys have left comments saying they can’t identify the right muscle to use in reverse kegels. The best way really is to focus on the muscle you need to use to make yourself pee faster.

Another way is to stand up when you have an erection. If you do a normal kegel, you should notice your penis rises. If you then do a reverse kegel, you should notice it drops downwards.

You might also like

You might also find it useful to read why I think kegels alone won’t beat premature ejaculation.

And for even more techniques, it’s worth reading one of my recommended premature ejaculation guides.

Finally, for alternatives to these behavioral techniques, have a look at my review of delay sprays or my overview of premature ejaculation treatment options.

287 Comments

  • This is the best article about reverse kegels I’ve see. Thank Ethan for sharing it in such detail, as well as the rest of your articles. You’ve done a great job in giving men enough information about PE to make a difference. Keep up the good work bro!

    • Hi Monty
      Thanks for your kind words! It’s always great to hear that an article, and the site, is appreciated.
      Ethan

  • Ethan hello.

    I am 21 and i’v never had any problem lasting over an hour during sex, and in some occasions having to stop due to exhaustion. I always enjoyed edging when i was masturbating and used to have sessions that would last between 20-50 minutes,it would have taken me about 15-20 at least to get to the point of no return,unless i was furiously stretching my feet squeezing my butt and vigorously jerk my junk, usually my dick was erect at about 70%-85% i was never gatting too excited,and i had no conscious awareness in my genitals.

    8 months ago i came to realize that i’v been disconceted with my body in various
    Ways,in the process of geting in tuch with my self i retained my sparm for a while,in during that time i had one sexual encounter and a very few masturbation sessions spread over a period of 3 months.
    During that time i was meditating and visualizing and giving much attention to my genitals and ther surroundings.
    After a while i started to feel some sort of throbbing in my perineum without any sexual contact(usually while meditating or not being very active),later on i started to feel those feeling in a few other genital related places.
    Somtime later i got back to masturbating and egaculating regularly and noticed that i’m a bit more sensitive,and i cultivated this into my “getting in tuch with myself” program.
    After 2 months or so of doing that,i decided to retain my sperm once more,and it was than when i’v first learned on kegel exercises,and was doing what i thought was best which was squeezing as hard as i can my pc muscle almost no attention to my bc muscle, feeling uncomfortable and letting go without much control aplide(it felt like i’m suckling my butt hole in) i didn’t gave attention to sets or days of workout or making it a conscious workout,or taking it seriosly,i just squeezed hard from time to time, All that becouse of miss information and me not making a very thorough research.
    Now i find my self contracting involuntary
    While musturbating and feel that i can edgaculate within a few seaconds,my penis is at about 90%-100% erection i’m very excited(using lubrication) and my perineum is throbbing and contructing while doing so, i feel that my mind is to deep in it,and made it a genitals expirance mainly,and i’m having a hard time gatting my mind involved with other parts of my body and still be erect,(it’s almost as if it’s full on or non).
    Now i can feel that my pc muscles are stronger than they used to be and and i can squeez much harder on them which feel like the inner sphincter and the outer one are much more tight,which makes me wonder if they might be causing the body to assume that he his close to egculation/orgasem right from the get go and push the process faster.
    Most of the time my testicles will not even shrink at all when reaching egaculation,which they used to do befor i started”getting in tuch with my self”.
    Now after being better informed by a few of your articles about kegels and revers kegels i have a batter perspective,but still am not sure how to go back to that place of being confodent that i will last as long as i want and still be in tuch with myself,
    perhaps i shouldn’t have done any kagles in the first place?, is a strong kagle squeeze takes much from the pc as i discribed earlier with the butt hole sction?
    Why is the action of kegel exercise make helps to eventually loosen the pelvic area when body part such as the butt are most loose and floppy when they haven’t seen one day of workout? Is it possibale that that’s why i was able to maintain for so long in the past,due to lack of practice?
    Is it possible that the affect of me being very sexually active and was edgculating approximately twice a day was the kind of work out that was stregnthening the bc muscle when constructing during egculation and made me last long without noticable use of the pc muscle?
    Could it be that those cuple of time when i retain my seman and ceased pyscal sexual action coused this muscle to weakend,and by that make him to involuntry contruct/trobbing ?
    What couses invuluntry contructs?
    How do i stop them
    Are spasm the same thing?
    I somtimes was doing kagles while msturbating(in an incorrect way),could that have effected my nerve system and rewired my nerves to associate a hard dick with contractions and the tightness of those muscles involved during egculation?
    Is it possible that in the act of doing kegles i’v over traind the bc muscles casuing them to tighting and send a messege to the body that it’s close to edgculation even though i was mainly using the pc muscle,is it possibale at all to train one of this three muscles pc bc ic to an extant which pushes egculation faster?
    I cant saperate or realy understand the ic muscle or even feel it,can you explain furder more plainly?,as it was not very clear in the articals.
    Is it common that some guys start with kegels and get the opesit effect ?
    And what now when i’v already created diffrent muscles memory than i used to have back than?. My muscles memory now is of an uncontrolable mucles.

    with some of you input that you wrote on this subject
    I will try to cultivate a more suitable way for my body to adjust to my desire.

    I would love to hear some tips and advice about how to deal with my specifice situation.

    I would very much appriciate you ansewring questions that i had not wirtten with a question mark,and creating questaions out of the confusion or lack of awareness or understanding that you can find in my messege. Pleas reply in much detail as you can,and ansewr unasked question.

    With much gratitude.

    Donliraz.

    • Hi Donliraz

      I hope you understand, but I’m going to have to condense all of your questions into something a bit shorter, purely because of the lack of time I have to answer so many questions!

      It’s kind of impossible for me to diagnose and tell you exactly what happened and why it happened. So many of your questions are possibilities – you’ve obviously done your research! But working out the cause is impossible for me.

      What seems likely though is that like some men do, you just did a lot of kegels – perhaps too much. Where before you didn’t get full erections and lasted for an extremely long time, now you’ve developed the muscle strength to pump more blood into your penis – thus getting strong erections – but also making yourself less relaxed and finishing quicker.

      My advice would be to stop doing all those strong kegel squeezes for a few weeks, focus on relaxation again and see what happens. I’ve seen some websites where specialists offer to help with pelvic floor muscle rebalancing etc, but I personally think a more discreet first step is to just stop all the tensing, focus on relaxation and give some time for your muscles to go back to a less active state.

      So, do some masturbation practice where you try not to stress about the situation, and also try not to tense your body at all. Go slow, keep those muscles soft and relaxed if you can, and see how it goes.

      Hopefully the involuntary contractions will stop in time, but if they don’t, perhaps speak to your doctor about it if it keeps worrying you.
      Ethan

  • Hi Ethan.
    Lets forget about the well written content and and first thank u for helping so many.

    I just wanted to know please.

    U mentioned alot of times about just RELAXING the entire area during sex. I find this bit more easy for now than isolating the pc muscleexwill this have the same effect as relaxing that particular muscle only?

    • Hi Jay
      Thanks for the compliment, and you’re welcome. It’s a pleasure knowing the articles help!
      That’s an interesting question – I really don’t know whether simply relaxing would have the same effect as actively focusing on reverse kegels. I’m tempted to say that if you can get really relaxed, then it would do.
      Thinking back to experiences I’ve had myself, I think when I’ve managed to get myself into a really good state of physical and mental relaxation, it’s had a very positive effect on my lasting time. The reverse kegel action can be effective when you do it, but again, it’s just a ‘tool’ to use when you’re getting too aroused. The rest of the time, it’s best to focus on relaxation. So theoretically, to me at least, if you master the relaxation bit, you could avoid any need to do any kegels!
      I hope that made sense…
      Ethan

  • Thanks for the helpful article Ethan. I appreciate you taking the time to try to describe this complexing movement in detail. I think I’m getting there but still don’t find it helps much when I have sex. Some days I feel like I can do a reverse kegel and slow myself down. But most of the time I squeeze, push or whatever it is and nothing really happens. I’m not giving up hope just yet as it sounds like if I do get it, it will be very effective. If…

    • Hi Craig
      You’re welcome – I’m glad it was helpful. I understand what you mean. Reverse kegels aren’t easy, and even when you understand the muscles involved, actually getting the movement to do something useful during sex isn’t easy. Stick with it though and hopefully in time you’ll work it out.
      Ethan

  • Hi Ethan,

    I’ve been reading up on kegels and PE and came across your site. I’ve only just began to do these exercises and I’m afraid that I’m doing it wrong, even though I can identify the muscles while urinating etc. Is it a good idea to do them while urinating?

    • Hi MJ
      I hope the site is useful for you. No, you shouldn’t practice kegels when urinating. It’s just a trick to work out which muscles to use. When you practice, do it lying or sitting down.
      Ethan

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