Reverse Kegels – My Step By Step Guide

Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional. This article is based solely on my personal experience with premature ejaculation and Kegel exercises. It is intended for informational purposes only and should not be seen as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always consult with a healthcare provider for any medical concerns or conditions.

Out of all the premature ejaculation techniques, reverse kegels seem to cause the most confusion, especially when it comes to identifying and using the correct muscles.

Despite the initial difficulty, it’s worth sticking with it, as it’s a useful technique for keeping yourself calm during sex. In my experience, it’s more effective than repeatedly trying to keep the point of no return at bay with a forceful kegel squeeze.

In this article, you’ll learn exactly how to do reverse kegels and why it’s important to practice them alongside normal kegels. I’ll also suggest how to add reverse kegels into the routine described in my complete guide to kegels (a free article, in case you’re wondering).

Understanding Reverse Kegels

Reverse kegels focus on relaxing the pelvic floor muscles, which contrasts with regular kegels that involve contraction. This relaxation is useful for balancing muscle tension and improving sexual stamina.

Why are reverse kegels difficult?

The physical ‘how to’ is the part that people struggle with the most. It’s not easy working out which muscles to target, and even harder to do the right thing with those muscles.

There are three reasons I think men have problems with this:

  • If you don’t have enough experience with normal kegels, identifying the pelvic floor muscles can be tricky.
  • The relaxation movement you need to do can feel strange at first, which makes you doubt it’s right.
  • Knowing exactly when to do reverse kegels during sex is confusing.

Many readers have left comments or emailed me in the years since first writing this article to say they aren’t sure if they’re doing it right. So I’ve since edited it to try and make it as clear as possible.

First learn normal kegels

The best way to identify the correct muscles is to first learn the normal version. Reverse kegels are targeting the same muscles, but in a more subtle way.

These aren’t muscles you normally have an awareness of, and it can take time to develop the ability to either squeeze or relax them.

So if you get the hang of normal ones, you’ll have a better chance of being sure you’re doing reverse kegels correctly.

Reverse kegels step by step

Step 1

Remember the classic kegel instructions about stopping yourself in the middle of peeing? This time, when you go for a pee try to gently force it out faster instead.

This is basically a reverse kegel of the key muscle – the Bulbocavernosus muscle – located at the base of the penis. You only need to do this once to get an idea for what it feels like. After that don’t try forcing out your pee any more and continue on to the next steps.

Step 2

Sit comfortably in a chair and relax for a few moments. Now gently try to simulate the muscle movement you would make if trying to do a poo or fart (don’t blame me for any accidents!)

This movement will be doing a reverse kegel of the Pubococcygeus muscle. Though it will also probably engage the Bulbocavernosus muscle as well.

Note: It’s unclear how important it is to be able to do a reverse kegel with both the front and back muscles. In my experience, the front one (Bulbocavernosus muscle) is more effective in controlling ejaculation.

However, it’s good to try to learn both as you may find that you need to focus on relaxing the entire area to develop any kind of control. Isolating them takes a lot of practice, so don’t worry if the whole area moves when practicing. Better control should develop naturally in time.

Step 3

Did you notice in both of these steps some movement in your stomach muscles, perhaps expanding or tensing? If not, do them again and you’ll probably notice some movement or tension.

This isn’t something to aim for when doing reverse kegels eventually, but it can help at the start to identify the correct movement.

Step 4

Now it’s time to add some breathing. Do the same steps again, but this time breathe in while doing them and allow your belly to expand. This is known as breathing from the diaphragm.

Most people breathe by expanding their chest. But you can also breathe by expanding your stomach instead. You might find that doing this helps you focus the movement on the BC muscle.

Step 5

Now you can put it all together. Do the simulated peeing and pooing motion, but also breathing out slowly from your belly, whilst keeping some light tension in the belly.

With the breathing and tensing, you should feel much more able to isolate the muscles and do a good reverse kegel. It does take practice though, so keep at it. You can try this for a few minutes a day until you get it right.

Step 6

Now for the really tricky part. Can you do reverse kegels without the help of breathing and tensing?

This can take a lot of practice, and even then you may never be able to do it without at least a little tension and stomach expansion. That’s fine, just try to reduce how much you rely on using the stomach to get the job done.

The key point here is that you need to be really relaxed. You need to mentally go inside your body and visualize the muscles relaxing and pushing out slightly.

Breathe slowly, deeply and relaxed while doing so, and try to focus on the area where the BC muscle is. Allow it to relax just by keeping your mind on it and trying to gently encourage it with your muscle control.

Step 7

Now’s the time for some real practice. While masturbating you can try to do three different things.

  1. Do normal kegels and see what effect it has on your sense of control.
  2. Switch to reverse kegels and see what happens to your physical arousal and control.
  3. Then try to just relax the whole area.

There’s no set way to do this, and it involves some experimenting and creativity from you. In my experience, it took a couple of weeks of playing around with the concept 3 or 4 times a week.

Eventually, I discovered that keeping relaxed was best. And when I felt tension creeping in, doing a reverse kegel could help restore the relaxation.

Step 8

If you have a partner you can eventually try reverse kegels during sex. In my experience, it’s best to do it when you’re on your back and they are on top.

That way you have the best chance of relaxing and isolating the correct muscles. Again, some experimentation with positions might be needed before you find the right one to help you focus and relax.

Why are reverse kegels important?

This is an important point to remember: some men try to train very strong pelvic floor muscles because they read somewhere that it can stop them ejaculating.

Then they go overboard and try to hold the muscles as much as possible during sex. Either that or they think it gives them a better erection, so they continually pump the BC muscle during sex.

This is counterproductive though and encourages quicker ejaculation. Instead, normal kegel holds should only be done at the very last moment to try to stop yourself ejaculating, or in the beginning to help yourself get a good erection.

If you’re trying to last longer, then at all other times during sex you should keep the PC and BC muscles relaxed. Doing reverse kegels is one way to accomplish this for three reasons:

  • By training reverse kegels along with normal ones, you develop balance and control of the pelvic floor muscles
  • If you aren’t able to keep relaxed during sex, then actively doing the motion of reverse kegels can help to achieve the relaxed pelvic floor you need to be able to last longer
  • If you train it to a high level, you may be able to do reverse kegels so well that you can stop yourself ejaculating. You can do this before the point of no return and it’s usually more successful than waiting until the point when you need to do normal kegels.

So in some ways, you’re giving yourself two opposite weapons in the battle. You can do reverse kegels and keep relaxed as much as possible. Then if it all fails, switch to a normal kegel squeeze just before the moment of no return.

Finally, doing reverse kegels can help stop you from overtraining and creating an imbalance in your pelvic floor. So work on balance and control, not just strength.

A reverse kegel routine

Here are some ways to incoporate reverse kegels into a training regime with the normal version:

Plan A

You can do each normal kegel routine each day as described. Then at the end spend 2 or 3 minutes practicing reverse kegels.

So you could do this:

  • Sit or lie down and relax for a minute.
  • Breathe in for the count of 4 seconds and do a reverse kegel. Either with or without tension and belly breathing. Do whichever you can manage.
  • Stop, relax and breathe out for 4 seconds.
  • Repeat 9 more times, to make 10 sets.
  • Do the same again, but this time breathing in for 6 seconds. Breathing out normally at the end of each 6 seconds.
  • Now try and do the reverse kegel 10 times with normal breathing. See how much harder it is when you’re breathing out?
  • Finally, hold the relaxed pushing out feeling for 30 seconds or as long as you can.

This is only a basic example routine, and you can add more sets and times to it as you get better at it.

Plan B

This time instead of doing the reverse kegels after the normal ones, you can do them alternately. Again it’s up to you to decide how to mix the sets, and it doesn’t really matter how you do it. Just don’t overdo it by doing it too many strong kegels.

Plan C

The final way is to do the normal kegal routine on one day, and the reverse routine either at a separate time the same day, or even the next day.

There’s no scientific evidence suggesting one way is better than another, so in my opinion you should aim for variety. Muscles adapt to training quickly, so the more you surprise them, the better the results.

Still having trouble identifying the right muscles?

Many readers have left comments saying they can’t identify the right muscle. The best way really is to focus on the muscle you need to use to make yourself pee faster.

Another way is to stand up when you have an erection. If you do a normal kegel, you should notice your penis rises. If you then do a reverse kegel, you should notice it drops downwards.

Your thoughts

Have you tried kegels? Feel free to share your experience and ideas, or ask questions below.

Even if some time has passed since the last comment, I never close comments on this site, so you will get a response.


  1. When I am erect and I do reverse kegels my penis swells up. In a way it gets thicker. Is this an indication that I’m doing it correctly?

    I would also like to know if you had any video demonstrations for these exercises. I think that would be very helpful. Thank you.

    • Hi
      I would imagine it would swell more when doing a normal kegel. But perhaps it has the opposite effect for you if it means you relax and increase blood flow? I’m just guessing though, and it depends on how certain you are you’re doing the reverse version.
      No videos I’m afraid – not something I’m willing to do, or that I even think is possible other than with diagrams.

      • My experience is the same as WF. In doing a reverse level it feels like the exercise pushes more blood into the pelvic floor area — in turn I find it makes my erection noticeable harder. Not sure I’m doing the exercise correctly, but that’s my experience.

  2. There are 3 steps to breathing – breathing in, holding the breath, and breathing out. The way I understand, the feeling you get in your PC muscle when taking a deep breath in is a reverse kegel? And then this feeling can be extended by holding the breath?

    • I see your comparison, and it does make some sense. I guess the aim is to make the reverse action a bit more pronounced than just relaxing with the inbreath though. I’m not sure how much holding the breath will help though, and haven’t really tried it!

  3. Very insightful! Ive been doing kegels for 6 weeks using an app (nothing fancy, its very basic) and have noticed my erection getting harder. I do both kegels and reverse kegels by doing them on alternating days. Its kinda hard doing reverse kegels because I flex my abs but after some practice Im starting to flex less and get better at isolating the muscle.

  4. Hello,

    Thank you very much for this detailed explanation. I will definitely on board it into my routine.

    I have a question about performing reverse kegel during sex. Do you perform reverse kegel only when you feel the slight tension. How long should the reverse kegel be performed, only when you feel that the tension has disappeared or carry on doing it even if you feel relaxed. Lastly, do you perform these from the start of your sex session till you orgasm?

    Looking forward to your response.

    • Hi Rob
      I don’t think there’s one right answer to this question. Nowadays, personally I just try to focus on general relaxation as much as possible to avoid the stress of focussing on kegels. That seems to help best if I’m honest.
      I’ll play around with the reverse kegel idea when the mood takes me if I feel like I’m getting too tense and I’m in a position where it actually seems to make a difference. But definitely not from start all the way to finish – it’s just too much mental effort and I find it better to just imagine ‘relaxation’ as a whole.

      • I remember in highschool that i could push out the piss faster if i wanted. But in my early 30’s i’ve noticed i’ve completely lost this ability. No amount of feeling around or squeezing different parts accomplishes it.

        How do you recommend I go about rebuilding this muscle and the mind body connection?

        • Hey Nathan
          To be honest, I’m not sure if it’s possible to regain the kind of strength (I know what you mean) that we had when that age. Perhaps by doing kegels, but I personally wouldn’t stress about it. As long as sex is good, there’s no need to compare yourself to your younger self in my opinion.

        • Nathan,
          I see EG’s answer was not very specific because he knows that every guy is different.
          To answer your question more broadly: physical habits grow over years, like how we sit, how we pick stuff up, and in this case, how we engage our pelvic floor muscles. The reverse kegel pulls on compound muscle groups based in your core. If you can’t push your pee harder/faster, then something you are doing has replaced that muscle group. Start by engaging your abs, as if you know someone is going to punch you, but at the same time, engage your butt as if you are trying to force a fart out. Soon, you will be able to start shifting the focus more to those lower muscle groups and rely less on your abs.

  5. Ok. This is going to be a bit of a long post. I’m definitely frustrated with endless google searching though and haven’t yet been to speak to a urologist or a sex therapist. Those are the next steps, but in the meantime I’d like to hear from other people what their experiences are.


    I’m a 34 year old cis male. I was not sexually active (aside from masturbation) until this year of my life starting in November. I had stressed for most of my sexually aware life that I would have the typical issues. Not being able to get hard, coming too fast, etc. I have had some issues with those things. Not as bad as I thought. I do kegel exercises (standard and reverse) using an app that progressively increases training difficulty.

    I can stop before ejaculation and usually experience some intense sensation, but maybe not quite orgasm. It’s like this white hot pleasant feeling but it only lasts a short while generally before I squeeze the kegels ( at which point it fades and I’m left feeling kind of breathless and pretty good… then I can keep going. Sometimes there’s a little ejaculate, but rarely lose the erection. I have been able to go up to 21 minutes of almost constant stimulation, but usually let go at this point. I think I could go further, but time is time. Almost always at least 10 minutes. My issues are these:
    1. I’d like to extend that intense feeling. To me, it seems analogous to the clitoral orgasm in a woman based on reading and on how my girlfriend has described them. I did, once, in the shower by squeezing the kegels and continuing stimulation in the form of water. I just kept the squeeze as hard as I could and the feeling stuck around. That was pretty amazing and new.
    2. When I DO release, at least solo, it’s kind of like I felt a laugh building up but when I went to laugh instead of laughing I go to complete deadpan. Like the orgasm is weak or almost non-existent. I’ve read that there’s supposed to be this pleasant twitching, or throbbing, or like an explosive feeling and there just isn’t. It’s not there. That happens whether I delay for 10-20 minutes and let myself get close to climax multiple times (up to four so far) Does anyone else have experience with this?
    3. Is there any way to have that intense feeling without having to immediately squeeze afterward? This seems really annoying for the purposes of sex.

    As a couple:
    Sex with my girlfriend has been great. As it turns out, I never had to worry about the idea of being able to satisfy my partner with the caveat that we haven’t actually had vaginal intercourse. This was due more to pregnancy concerns than anything else, which, after the quarantine is over, won’t be a concern any more because both of us are completely uninterested in children and I got a Vasectomy.
    The only issue I’ve had from partner sex is that watching my girlfriend orgasm multiple times per session, experience female ejaculation, and have various KINDS of orgasms I was left with this deep sense of envy and accompanying guilt. I LOVE that she feels that way and that we can share that. And when I get off during sex it feels much better than solo which is to say there’s a sensation at least a little more like the orgasms I’ve read about and this floaty, head detached feeling of euphoria that I did not get during solo. However, based on things I’ve read there are elements of the male orgasm I’m just not experiencing. Again, not powerful muscle contractions, NO involuntary thrusting / hip movements, no explosive feeling.

    And of course in comparison to what I’ve seen her experience and heard her describe. Well, there just isn’t really any comparison.

    Recently, she was telling me (after we exchanged some pictures of a pg-13 but definitely sexual nature) that she masturbated and was describing how for the first time she managed to have female ejaculation solo and felt warm, amazing, euphoric, etc. I mean, of course I was having some really complex feelings. FOMO for sure since we’re separated during this whole quarantine. Happiness for her because those are good things to feel and I love her. Arousal thinking about her getting off to thinking about and looking at the pictures I had spent the time crafting and taking. And which I was even aroused while taking.

    And finally, that ugly feeling of envy. Like, I masturbate pretty regularly, mostly because at this point I kind of see it as training. Trying out all the muscles I work and the breathing practices, etc.

    And I have just never had an experience even close to that during masturbation. Euphoria? Man.

    Anyway, this is the TL;DR version:

    1. Has anyone else experienced these types of weak or non-existent orgasms solo?
    2. What are the limitations of the male orgasm from your experiences? I’ve read about whole body and things like that and I’m intrigued.
    3. Is there a way to extend that intense feeling without having to stop and take a break for like 30 seconds?
    4. Is the female orgasm really just that much better than the male orgasm and I should just accept it? (again, I want to say because I feel selfish every time I think about this, but I am OVER THE MOON that she gets to feel that way)

    Thanks for your time and patience reading,


    • Hi Emil
      Thanks for sharing your story and thoughts. I’ll have a quick go at answering your questions, and let’s see if other readers also join in.
      1. Yes. In my experience, the intensity of orgasm varies massively.
      2. For me, it’s very much focused downstairs, and has to be a particularly special one for the entire body to be involved in a way that’s surprising.
      3. Tricky – I think that orgasms have a natural lifetime, and extending it significantly is kind of fighting against nature. I think it can be extended, but I wouldn’t stress about it.
      4. Probably!

      • Thank you for your responses.

        Currently looking into other types of male orgasm (prostate) as I’ve heard these are much more comparable to a woman’s g-spot orgasm which is the main difference I’m seeing. It’s basically like

        Penile orgasm is the equivalent to the female clitoral orgasm (similar organs, though the clitoris of course has more nerves and there is no refractory period … one way women are lucky)

        Prostate orgasm is the male equivalent of the g-spot orgasm which are those crazy crazy orgasms I’ve seen in my partner.

        • No problem Emil
          Have you tried gently pushing or massaging manually the perineum with one hand while in the act? That can feel pretty awesome.

        • I have. I’ve found it difficult to stimulate the prostate externally, but I’m working on finding the sweet spot and the right amount of pressure. Also, it takes a lot longer, but I have found the prostate internally on my own just to recognize the sensation and see. That is definitely a pathway to a whole different experience though I think it takes time.

    • Hi Emil let me take a go at answering your questions.

      The power of the orgasms vary for the untrained lover. However, once you have trained yourself enough and have cultivated deep intimacy with yourself, you will discover you can control the intensity of the orgasms through breath work, and through focusing your attention to the rest of your body and not just your genital area. Breath is key to make an orgasm expand throughout your whole body. There are various techniques to achieve this.

      Also to experience women like orgasm, full body orgasms and not just a tiny non existent orgasm, you need to build up tension and release, build up tension and release, and I am not talking about Kegels, because Kegels should only be used as a last resort to stop you from coming. I mean edging and at the point where you are about to come BUT do not squeeze your pelvic muscles, simply lighten the touch, keep stimulating maybe at a slower pace and relax completely, and you can slowly maintain the orgasmic waves to the point where they will inundate your whole body. To achieve this may take practice, but you will find that after doing this and not ejaculating your orgasm will intensify and you will experience stronger orgasms, maybe even without ejaculation which that should ultimately be the goal.

      And lastly NO, the female orgasm is not THAT much better than the male orgasm we can experience female orgasm through practice and exercises and learning to shift our attention from our genital area to our whole body. Women when they come they feel it all over their bodies, as opposed to us that we focus the sensations mainly on our genital area.

      Hope this helps
      BED HERO ;)

  6. Love the easy to follow instructions. My question is how do you put it into practice during the sex, especially the reverse kegel but also referring to the normal kegel as well

    • Hi Yasin
      The normal kegel is the easier one to do during sex. Basically don’t do it unless really necessary! Only do it when you get right to the point of no return if you want to try a last attempt to hold back orgasm.
      The reverse is harder to do during sex I think. It’s easier if you are on your back or side with her on top or in front. It’s all about relaxing. So if you can just try to focus on relaxing during sex, it will help.

  7. I don’t fully understand the reverse kegel and anytime I read about how to do them, none of the instructions make any sense to me. This has helped I think but for me, when I sit or lay down, I feel like my muscles are as relaxed as they can be. I have taken the instruction of “trying to pee or poo faster” but all that does me is flexing/pushing with my lower abdomen I can feel a very VERY slight expansion on these muscles, but it isn’t very comfortable or relaxing at this point

    • Hi Stephen
      I know what you mean – it’s a really confusing topic because it’s hidden and depends on us trying to understand and control muscles in the most subtle of ways that we would never naturally need to do.
      Perhaps if you can do normal kegels, a new approach would be to just do a strong kegel and then see how quickly you can return to a state of relaxation instead. That might refocus your efforts.
      But really, I think overall relaxation of the whole area is potentially just as effective as gaining a tiny amount of control over the reverse kegel motion. Basically, try not to stress about it, is my point…

  8. Hey Ethan, I’ve been practicing regular and reverse kegel for a few weeks now and the reverse has worked wonders. From 5 minutes max to me deciding when to ejaculate. I’ve run into a problem recently though, I would feel myself tensing and would perform a reverse kegel, yet my bc muscle would tense up as I was relaxing the kegel, neutralizing my work, causing myself to nearly ejaculate. What am I doing wrong? Why did I go from 40 min.+, to struggling to last 10 minutes?

    • Hi Gabriel
      First of all, great work! It’s good to hear from someone who had what sounds like spectacular success. I’m not sure why you might be having this issue. I’m tempted to say ‘two steps forward, one step back’ and not worry about it for now. Perhaps give it more time to see if it’s just a minor blip. I guess you could also just put less focus on the muscles for a week – give them a rest – and just try relaxing in general to see if that works too.

  9. hi ethan
    I heard holding your breath for too long while doing reverse kegels is bad for your pelvic floor, especially if you have incontinence. Is it true?

    • Hi Rodney
      I don’t know, to be honest. But I don’t hold my breath either, and don’t see why you would want to.

  10. Hey Ethan,

    Thanks so much for the article and help.
    I have a few questions. First is that I’ve struggled with reverse kegels for a year now. Never really finding how to do it. I’ve tried the last 3 weeks but have no idea if im doing it correctly or what so unsure if im even improving. I can try push pee out but then my abdomen tenses. Do you mean maybe, the feeling when you struggle with performance anxiety at the urinal, or trying to pee when someones watching, and so you try relax everything, and allow pee to flow out?That way? because pushing wont make a difference anyways. If not theres another feeling I kind of get. Like the pushing down of the anus, but i cant seem to always find that feeling.

    Also im having trouble relaxing my kegels while having sex. Is that due to my reverse kegels being just too weak in comparison, and once they’re strong enough, they’ll cancel each other out? If So, I’m dying to get stronger rk, as even when I notice its clenched, it’s very difficult to unclench the kegels in the act of having sex.

    Also lastly, I get a lot of ‘twitching’ or ‘spasming’ of my kegels when I’m getting aroused and especially whilst having sex. Although this in a way diffuses the tension there. Is it better (when possible) to overwrite the twitching with reverse kegels and stop it happening? The twitching feels good tho so bit of a predicament lol.
    But i feel the kegels get tired from too much twitching though as that makes sense. They’re too tight and so they twitch?
    Im sure you know the twitching feeling im talking about, I just get a lot of it, and can’t control it. Should i just try to never twitch, but relaxing the area?

    Hope that all makes sense. And thanks for the reply.

    • Hi J
      It sounds like you do have a reasonable idea of the reverse kegels feeling – I think it is quite similar to the feeling of finally releasing the tension when you’ve got a bit of stage fright! To be honest though, if you’re struggling with kegels, and with twitching, then perhaps just focusing on an overall feeling of relaxation might be more effective. You could try practising that way for a few days and see if it helps – don’t worry about particular muscles etc, just try to last as long as you can while keeping your body as relaxed as possible. Focusing on your breathing can help with this – slow and steady breaths etc.
      Involuntary spasms in the pelvic floor that keep happening, even outside of sex, is probably not a good thing, from what I’ve read. Again, staying relaxed might help – try to find the balance between letting yourself get aroused, but not tensing your muscles along the way.

    • Hi,
      I have got the same problem. Maybe by this time to today you have dealt with it. Could you help me?

  11. hello sir, I want a last response about pc muscle – when you are having sex, you relax your pc muscle? and when you are in the point of no return you still relax it? it can help you to not come?

    • Hi Corleone
      Yes to relaxing during sex. But if you get to the point of no return, it might help to tense it to try to stop yourself coming. But you also probably need to stop having sex when you do, so you can rest a bit before continuing.

  12. As a 30 year old male who has had an over tight pelvic floor for 1.5 years (and caused me to have AWFUL symptoms such as penis pain, pain all throughout pelvic floor, and sitting pain, I am trying to become a professional reverse kegeler because this is perfect for relaxing the muscles. I find the best stretch is sitting while in the squatting position. I still haven’t perfected it, but it gives me immediate relief.

    • Hi Jim
      Thanks for sharing your story. Did you create this exercise yourself, or did a doctor tell you to do it in that position?

    • thanks for this Jim, having that pain too, didn’t realize why. Now I know! Also, this article saved me!!

      THANK YOU ETHAN. From a minute man to an infantry cross country march! and saved the marriage.

  13. Hello Ethan,

    I have a question about kegels. So I’ve been doing a kegel routine but I’ve found that I was flexing my BC muscle all the time while masturbating, and as I had loads of free time on my hands that’s pretty much been 1-2 hrs of flexing BC daily. I feel like maintaining an erection without that is a bit of a problem now so can I reverse that with reverse kegels or anything else?

    • Hi Ron
      Maybe, but I imagine just trying to relax in general and try to learn to get an erection without flexing might be better than becoming stressed about the whole ‘which muscle to use’ issue.

  14. Hey! Can I just recommend one technique that I’ve noticed that might help people differentiate between the two.

    It’s actually quite easy (I think) as it’s basically the opposite of a kegel and I noticed after performing a kegel whilst relaxed in bed. I am usually quite aware of things.

    1) Relax
    2) perform a kegel and let go (maintaining you are relaxed)
    3) keep performing the kegal and let go (again staying relaxed)
    4) Focus on the letting go (action and muscle group) – really trying to be aware
    5) push every so slightly on the letting go and keep practicing. Keep on repeating, you’ll get it

    You will feel the difference immediately between a kegel and a reverse

    For me, my Kegel seems to be quite strong and reverse weak so I’m pretty sure i’m getting it right. It actually got stronger after a few minutes and the more I relaxed the better it got!

    Anyway, I hope this helps the author and anyone else who is reading!

    • Hi Fabrice
      Thanks for sharing your idea. I agree that it’s helpful to do both a kegel and reverse kegel back to back, as it might help work out how to use the muscles effectively. Thanks for taking the time to share your thoughts!

  15. Hey, and Thanks for a great guide. I have been practicing kegels and reverse kegels on and off for a couple of years, with some results.

    I do have questions about reverse kegels though. It still feels a little ”awkward” doing them, so I’m not 100% I’m doing then right. My stomach muscles tenses at times – maybe I push a little too hard?

    I also have questions about the benefits of reverse kegels. I understand that there are benefits of actively using it during sex for example, but are there any noticeable ‘passive benefits’ to it? (For example – harder erections, better angle etc).

    Thanks in advance!

    • Hi Abel
      You’re welcome – I’m glad you liked the guide!
      I know what you mean – reverse kegels are definitely a little awkward compared to normal kegels which seem easier to determine if you’re doing them correctly or not. I think a light tensing is normal when you first start, but do try to aim for as little tensing as possible.
      As for passive benefits, that’s the first time I’ve been asked that! I don’t know of any personally. I think probably it’s part and parcel of the whole kegels training thing, and the only other benefit that springs to mind is ensuring you don’t overtrain with normal kegels.

  16. Hi Ethan, Thank your first for all your articles – are extremely helpful.
    I have few questions (hope not too many) which I really hope you have time to answer.

    1). When doing a reverse kegel should I simulate the peeing faster action OR doing a poo or fart OR maybe both at once ?
    2). When you say “Breathe in for the count of 4 seconds and do a reverse kegel” you mean to do the reverse kegel during those 4 seconds?
    3). Do not understand this part “relaxed pushing out feeling “ – I do not feel this as a relaxation of the muscles since I need to do that push…
    4). Is it ok if after peeing I do that push in order to eliminate the remaining urine ?
    5). It is ok to use toilet paper after peeing to get the last drops ? Do you think this is unhealthy ? Can this affect in time the sensitivity of my penis?
    6). I feel after masturbation sometimes a small pain somewhere under testicles – it feels like somewhere inside .. but is a very diffuse pain – what that can be ?

    • Hi Paul
      It’s good to know the articles are helpful – let’s see if I can answer some of your questions, though I’m not sure I know the exact answer to all of them if I’m honest!
      Anyway, in my opinion:
      1. Just the peeing faster action ideally.
      2. Yes
      3. I know what you mean, it’s a strange concept. Perhaps try to see it as relaxation more than pushing. I think really, a better description might be ‘some kind of outwards relaxation’ – if that makes sense.
      4. I am not sure to be honest. Maybe?
      5. I don’t see a problem with that.
      6. I really don’t know. It could just be normal from vigorous stimulation. But personally, I’d discuss any pain in that area with a doctor.

  17. Hi Ethan… I would like to ask you which when and how many reverse kegels i should do… Im quite sure that unbalanced pelvic floor and too much serotonin is the problem because i get aroused really easy… Like just standing next to me gf can give me a boner and throughout the day i get them a lot…and also whenever im doing stuff with my gf i feel so much tension down there it makes me wanna explode and when we start to have sex i bust in a matter of seconds… That tension is too strong and it builds up inside my body and there was only one time i lasted quite some time and it was while receiving bj and i dont know why but that time i was super relaxed and confident… So i wanna start balancing my pf but don’t know how many times a week i should do it and should i do i with a boner or without… Thx

    • Hi there
      Why don’t you try some solo sex in the morning and/or an hour before you see your girlfriend? If you have a very high libido currently, it can help to relieve the tension on your own before you have sex.
      As for reverse kegels, I doubt the pelvic floor is the reason for your high sex drive and tension – it’s probably literally just your libido. However, it might help you to stay relaxed. You can do them mixed with normal kegels. I’d say every other day, and don’t do that many at a time. There’s no need to go crazy on them to reap the benefits.

  18. Ethan,
    I started doing simple kegels for a week or two, just understanding how it was to make them. Then I read the reverse kegels article and decide to start doing them. One morning I did a few sets of kegels, then did my first set of reverse kegels, following your instructions in this article.

    In the afternoon I felt a lot of discomfort in perineum, anus, and the abdominal area just in top of the penis. The next day it was worse, and it has continued for about 4 days, diminishing gradually, but still with malaise on perineum, testicles and the abdominal area above the penis.

    I’ve never done kegels before and never been hurt in that area either, do you think this could have created some form of nerve damage to the perineum? Or could just doing these reverse kegels created some form of permanent damage? I have not yet tried to masturbate to check if I can get an erection because I don’t want to create further damage. I am worried/ concerned, not of the pain if it goes away in a few days, but of more permanent damage to the perineum and the ability to get an erection from now on.

    What do you think of this?

    • Hi there
      Sorry to hear you’ve had this pain. It could be because you were pushing too hard when you did them, as normally it’s normal kegels, not the reverse type, that causes problems – if any. I think you’re right to stop doing them and rest. I haven’t heard of situations where nerve damage occurs.
      You wrote this comment a few days ago now – has it stopped hurting a returned to normal?

  19. Hi sir!I have been doing kegels for 5months and benefited a lot in terms of erection and ejaculation.but the problem is a bit pain right behind my testicles and decreased flow of urine since last one month as increased the duration of holding pc muscle.Here is my question will my problem be wosened if I continue the same and how maximum time should I hold my PC muscle.plz reply me..

    • Hi Ram
      If you have any pains from doing kegels, I would definitely stop. Rest for a week and see if the pain goes away. If it does, you can probably continue, but don’t do so many or so hard.

  20. Hi Ethan,

    I have previously practised normal kegels, and experienced good results with erection quality. Then I started getting all sort of weird pains in my penis, and perineum area. As I was doing other penile exercises I thought that I might have injured myself, or acquired an std or something. Little did I know that is was the kegels that was tightening up my pelvic floor muscles too much and causing all these negative symptoms. I was finally diagnosed and treated by a physio specialising in pelvic floor health. I have since tried normal kegels but even a small amount seem to tighten my pc muscles too much. This was a year ago.

    I would really like to get back into kegels as these exercises seem to really help with sexual functioning, but I’m afraid of getting negative symptoms again. Should I try normal kegels with reverse kegels? Are some people more susceptible to tight pelvic floor muscles and should avoid kegaling altogether? Any advice would be great cheers.

    • Hi Matthew
      Sorry to hear you had to go through that. It’s interesting to hear that you saw a physio and managed to undo the problem. Thanks for sharing that story.
      It sounds to me like you’d be better off avoiding them completely, unless that physio has other advice. Did they say you could continue at all, or do them in a different way?
      Perhaps try other techniques and learn to relax during sex instead. The start and stop method, for example, worked pretty well for me.

  21. Hi Ethan,
    Been training with reverse kegel for couple months, however there’s a big problem for me along the way.
    During practice of reverse kgl, my erected penis becomes flacid quite fast. How to control the level of erection when you do reverse kegel?


    • Hi James
      Good question! To be honest, I’m not completely sure if there is a way to keep a good erection and do reverse kegels if it’s become an issue for you. Maybe you’re putting too much effort into the reverse kegel, resulting in the erection loss. Have you tried experimenting with putting less attention into it and seeing if it still helps?

  22. I don’t know if this is related but I will say it. I am sexually inexperienced and while I was doing foreplay with my gf, I got really hard. Almost 100%. But as soon I got into the position to have sex, I am not hard enough to penetrate.
    Background: I found out about kegels like an year ago and I have been doing them ever since. I can flex my kegels for extended periods of time. But the problem is that I can’t achieve a rock hard erection without them. When I masturbate or have sex, I have the habit of holding them the entire time. I don’t feel hard enough without them. I have never done reverse kegels before. What’s wrong?

    • Hi Sam
      Many guys have that same problem – it’s all fine until the moment of actually having sex, then all of a sudden you lose the erection. I think it’s usually stress/anxiety related in that case. What works for me if I’m having that issue is to always be on top for penetration, and even better to kneel on the bed or stand up. That way you can use gravity as your friend and send a little extra blood flow downstairs! But most importantly, just don’t allow yourself to get stressed about it if it happens.
      I personally wouldn’t hold kegels the whole time during sex. It’s thought to lead to earlier ejaculation for some men, even if it does help keep an erection strong. Maybe use your masturbation time to start getting used to trying to get an erection without the kegels. Or at least only do them to get hard, then see if you can use mental and physical stimulation to keep yourself going.

    • I have the exact same problem man. I’m going to do some reverse kegeling, squatting, yoga and nofap. I can’t even get above 20° without a kegel. It’s due to edging and masturbating a lot while kegeling and holding my breath. Can’t maintain an erection while relaxed.

  23. Hi,
    I have been sexually active for about a year and a half i usually when i have sex sober i last 1-3 minutes and when i’m drunk i last 5-15, i think i am too tight during sex and definitely the anxiety of not being able to last long gets to me. I don’t want this to hinder my confidence and i have really been stressing out about it. What should i do? I can do a regular kegel but when i do a reverse kegel my stomach moves is that ok? I don’t want to use the sprays bc i feel like i’ll be cheating myself. Can you give me some tips ofrelaxing during sex and ways to last longer? Thank you.

    • Hi Jim
      That alcohol effect is very common for many men, myself included. I think relaxing in sex can be seen in two ways. Either try to get yourself into the right frame of mind before and during sex, or work on your anxiety and stress levels on a daily basis anyway. My opinion would be it’s good to do both. If you’re a naturally anxious person, try getting into meditation, Yoga, Tai Chi, mindfulness – whatever appeals to you most. I also highly recommend getting into the habit of focusing on giving your partner an orgasm before you have sex. So have really long foreplay, give her great oral sex, and take the pressure of yourself. It really helps!

  24. Hi Ethan,

    So I’ve recently started to edge for 20 minutes while relaxed/holding a light reverse kegel. It really seems to work but the problem is that when I do this I usually feel something weird the day after. It’s kind of a sensitivity/arousal feeling on then head of my penis. It usually starts after I urinate and goes away after a while. This feeling usually occurs only one time but it’s still really annoying. I also noticed that I started to feel more urges to urinate. What can I do??
    Thank you!

    PS: the days after this are normal, until I edge again.
    PSS: I also feel a little pain on my pelvic muscles on the day after I edge (like a post-training pain) but I guess it’s because I’m still not used to train these muscles.

    • Hi KG
      To be honest I’m not sure why you’d be experiencing that sensitivity. I wonder if it’s due to the increased stimulation from the time you spend edging? However, feeling the urge to urinate isn’t a good thing. You need to be careful not to just do too many reverse kegels exercises, resulting in a general weakening/relaxation of the muscles that as well as helping with ejaculation, also help with continence. So I’d make sure you do both normal and reverse kegels, and just don’t do too much of them. I think it’s fine to do edging without kegels at all, so if the problem keeps happening, I’d be tempted to stop the kegels and see if it gets better. Same thing for the pain – maybe you’re just pushing or squeezing those muscles too much, so reduce how much you do them, and take a break for a week if it keeps happening.

  25. Hey Ethan. Thank you for this website as i just discovered it!
    Out of curiosity how long you could achieve with all of these control?
    My goal is to reach 30 min. and i’m at 8 min. right now (accidents happens sometimes ofcourse)
    As i read your articles i realised that the reason i got PE was/is that i always squeeze my muscles without realising xD so i am trying to relax these muscles to make them rest. I hope to achieve my goal to control my muscles on the right moment in time.

    • Hi Ozy
      You’re welcome! It’s impossible to say, but I personally can go for a very long time on some days now – over 30 mins isn’t unheard of. However, I also have times when I struggle to get to 5 mins! But in the past. 30 mins would have been an impossibility unless really drunk…
      I think if you keep practicing, you can get to that 30 min goal of yours. Just don’t expect it to be all the time, and as you say, accept that there will be ‘accidents’.

  26. Hi,

    I am 19 years old and believe I have been suffering from PIED. I stopped watching porn almost 2 months back and have been trying to resist myself from mastrubating. Whenever i do relapse its only from imagination and reading eortica since I do not want to watch porn anymore.

    Here is my problem: I have tried to had sex 3 time but all of the times I ejaculate during foreplay or even before going in. My refractory period is confusing me because the second time around I do not get hard enough to go in. This has been stressing me out and I have done a lot of research to fix myself. I even started meditating a week ago to control my breathing. I have been doing regular kegels for a while now and have recently started to do reverse kegels as i read that doing too much of regular kegels is bad.

    I feel scared that something is wrong with me. I do not want to take drugs or medicine as i think i will get depended on it. Please help me out.

    • Hi Jack
      It’s difficult to say what’s going on exactly in your case, and I can only offer a couple of suggestions. First, why do you think you had porn induced erectile dysfunction? Just because of the second time not getting hard enough? It could just be that you’re trying too soon, and you need to wait longer before your body is ready again.
      And the first time, are you having erection problems too, or are you fine, but just ejaculating too quickly? If it’s the latter, then it’s a case of working on premature ejaculation more than erectile dysfunction. Doing stuff like breathing and meditating is a great idea – keep doing that for sure, as it can help with both problems potentially. But I’d also look around this site for other advice and ideas about tackling the problem.

  27. I have been practicing both Kegels and Reverse Kegels for about a year. Kegels are easy but RK’s are not. I need to know how hard you push out when doing RK’s. So far I have been doing them so hard that a lot of pressure is built up and holding an RK for about 20 seconds really really makes my abs exhausted and I fart (again it’s a lot of tension I built up when doing RK’s).

    I need to know whether or not a perfect RK is “invisible”, like can you see movement at all? I can see the lower of my stomach expand, but at the same time when I touch my stomach abs they get harder than when I’m not doing a RK. Again, my question is whether or not it is “invisible” – like are you supposed to see muscles moving and which. When I do kegels I can’t see anything visually on my body (I’m pretty sure that’s right) – but I am confused about RK. Also if I were to flex my abs on a summer day I would do the exact same thing as if I were training RK’s unless I would try to focus the movement to a lower segment (i.e. try to hit BC muscles)

    Thanks :)

    • Hi Emil
      It sounds like you’re definitely putting too much force into them. To answer your question, yes, I personally think they are virtually invisible when done correctly. The only easily visible thing would be if you stand up with an erection, and then try to make your erection drop in strength by doing a reverse kegel. And that should be possible without seeing any real ab movement, and definitely no farting. If you’re doing that, then you’re pushing way to hard I think. I think it’s ok to gently push while you’re getting the hang of it, but eventually, you want to simply use ‘mind control’ to relax the pelvic floor muscles.
      Hope that helps

  28. Nice explanation. Just one question. When masturbating i can control myself and those techniques work for me. But when having sex i have a difficulty controlling myself. Maybe i am to excited and enjoying the feeling. What should i do?

    • Hi Emilio
      Thanks for your comment and compliment. I think all of these behavioral techniques are harder when you actually try them during sex. Don’t give up on them though! Perhaps try it in different positions to see what helps. I find it easiest to make reverse kegels work when I’m either lying on my back or in spoons position for example.

  29. Thanks for the great explanation! It’s nice to see such an in depth guide and free too. I’ve done some kegels in the last few weeks and am starting to understand the way reverse kegels works. Seems maybe just focus on relaxing would be the way forward if I can’t master it though. Would you agree?

    • Hi Geoff
      You’re very welcome. I definitely agree – just learning to keep your body relaxed during sex can make a difference I think, and in some ways might be better if you end up getting stressed about when and how to do kegels during sex!

  30. Hey Ethan, Ive been doing kegels for years, and I have a question about kegeling at the point of no return.

    Ive noticed that all this does for me is to simply ejaculate inward (refractory ejaculation). Once I hit the point of no return I almost dont even bother anymore. Its the same as normal cumming. I lose my erection and appetite for sex, and I dont even get to have the fun of properly ejaculating. Its the worst of both worlds haha

    I dont think thats whats supposed to happen. please advise

    • Hi there
      Yes, I can see why that would be a problem. It would be fine if you could keep the erection, but if you can’t, I can understand why you wouldn’t enjoy not ejaculating and losing the erection too. Since you’re writing on the article about reverse kegels though, I’m wondering what you do during sex? Do you try to relax until the point of no return and then only do strong kegel squeezes at the end, or a different technique?

  31. Hi. I’m doing reverse kegels for a while and i encountered a new situation for me. While keeping a reverse kegel(pushing quite hard :D) i felt that my dick was becoming harder and harder. At peak level i pushed a little longer and i ejaculated. Right now with a bit of training i can get an erection and make me cum just using the reverse kegel. I don’t know if it’s a good thing because right now i’m single and i don’t know how this new “thing” will affect my sexual life. I’ve had my problems with premature ejaculation and i don’t know if this behavior is good or bad for me.

    • Hi Juan
      That’s an interesting effect! I guess maybe it’s something you can use to help yourself get an erection if you ever struggle to, but then perhaps don’t do it during sex in case it makes you ejaculate too quickly.
      What happens when you don’t push too hard though?
      Maybe if you’re single, you could get a sex toy and practice the different techniques with that. It should help you understand better what might happen if you do certain movements or squeezes during sex.

    • it happened the same to me.. My guess is that we have a tight pelvic floor that prevent correct filling of blood of the penis… since you relax all this area , you can have a true filling of your penis.. make mine noticeably bigger and sensitive also.
      You can use this if you really want to show to your girl that you like what she’s doing… it’s a turn-on for woman to see the impact they have.

  32. Hi Ethan,

    I have been trying reverse kegel almost four months now, things are now even worst.

    I do revers kegel at work and do edging too. Instead of increasing stamena am now less than minute hold .

    Please suggest what should I do.

      • Thanks Ethan for replying.
        Initially for one month, I started with ratio 5:5 (Kegel and reverse level)

        Now from 2nd month till date, I am only doing revers level.

        I will not give up until my PE problem get solved .

        Please advise

        • No problem. It’s strange that it’s gotten worse. I’ve heard of normal kegels making it worse, especially if done at the wrong time, but never just reverse kegels. Do you do find yourself doing kegels during sex continually, or even regularly? Or do you only do engage the pelvic floor muscles at the point of no return? Are you able to control yourself when you’re edging alone, or do you have worse control both alone and during sex?

        • Hi Ethan,

          I have control while edging but it reaches to no return very quickly .

          While having sex, I have no control.
          I have a lot Involuntary kegel, this reaches me to no return while forplay.

          I don’t understand what am I doing wrong.

          I completely stoped kegel, I do only reverse kegel

        • Hi again
          I can see why you’d stop doing kegels in that case! However, I personally think it’s probably better either to do a balanced quantity, or none at all. It’s still a developing technique, and with several complaints from men who have done too many kegels, or done them wrong, or whatever, it’s kind of concerning when I hear someone only does one type.
          Now, it could be that only doing reverse kegels is the best thing – there’s just no real evidence or proof either way. But to me, logic says that balance is usually a better thing.
          My advice to you would be to look into other techniques as well. I think men sometimes get stuck on kegels being the magic bullet, when in my opinion they aren’t. It’s important to do other techniques too, and focus on relaxation in an overall holistic way, not just with reverse kegels.

  33. Ethan hello.

    I am 21 and i’v never had any problem lasting over an hour during sex, and in some occasions having to stop due to exhaustion. I always enjoyed edging when i was masturbating and used to have sessions that would last between 20-50 minutes,it would have taken me about 15-20 at least to get to the point of no return,unless i was furiously stretching my feet squeezing my butt and vigorously jerk my junk, usually my dick was erect at about 70%-85% i was never gatting too excited,and i had no conscious awareness in my genitals.

    8 months ago i came to realize that i’v been disconceted with my body in various
    Ways,in the process of geting in tuch with my self i retained my sparm for a while,in during that time i had one sexual encounter and a very few masturbation sessions spread over a period of 3 months.
    During that time i was meditating and visualizing and giving much attention to my genitals and ther surroundings.
    After a while i started to feel some sort of throbbing in my perineum without any sexual contact(usually while meditating or not being very active),later on i started to feel those feeling in a few other genital related places.
    Somtime later i got back to masturbating and egaculating regularly and noticed that i’m a bit more sensitive,and i cultivated this into my “getting in tuch with myself” program.
    After 2 months or so of doing that,i decided to retain my sperm once more,and it was than when i’v first learned on kegel exercises,and was doing what i thought was best which was squeezing as hard as i can my pc muscle almost no attention to my bc muscle, feeling uncomfortable and letting go without much control aplide(it felt like i’m suckling my butt hole in) i didn’t gave attention to sets or days of workout or making it a conscious workout,or taking it seriosly,i just squeezed hard from time to time, All that becouse of miss information and me not making a very thorough research.
    Now i find my self contracting involuntary
    While musturbating and feel that i can edgaculate within a few seaconds,my penis is at about 90%-100% erection i’m very excited(using lubrication) and my perineum is throbbing and contructing while doing so, i feel that my mind is to deep in it,and made it a genitals expirance mainly,and i’m having a hard time gatting my mind involved with other parts of my body and still be erect,(it’s almost as if it’s full on or non).
    Now i can feel that my pc muscles are stronger than they used to be and and i can squeez much harder on them which feel like the inner sphincter and the outer one are much more tight,which makes me wonder if they might be causing the body to assume that he his close to egculation/orgasem right from the get go and push the process faster.
    Most of the time my testicles will not even shrink at all when reaching egaculation,which they used to do befor i started”getting in tuch with my self”.
    Now after being better informed by a few of your articles about kegels and revers kegels i have a batter perspective,but still am not sure how to go back to that place of being confodent that i will last as long as i want and still be in tuch with myself,
    perhaps i shouldn’t have done any kagles in the first place?, is a strong kagle squeeze takes much from the pc as i discribed earlier with the butt hole sction?
    Why is the action of kegel exercise make helps to eventually loosen the pelvic area when body part such as the butt are most loose and floppy when they haven’t seen one day of workout? Is it possibale that that’s why i was able to maintain for so long in the past,due to lack of practice?
    Is it possible that the affect of me being very sexually active and was edgculating approximately twice a day was the kind of work out that was stregnthening the bc muscle when constructing during egculation and made me last long without noticable use of the pc muscle?
    Could it be that those cuple of time when i retain my seman and ceased pyscal sexual action coused this muscle to weakend,and by that make him to involuntry contruct/trobbing ?
    What couses invuluntry contructs?
    How do i stop them
    Are spasm the same thing?
    I somtimes was doing kagles while msturbating(in an incorrect way),could that have effected my nerve system and rewired my nerves to associate a hard dick with contractions and the tightness of those muscles involved during egculation?
    Is it possible that in the act of doing kegles i’v over traind the bc muscles casuing them to tighting and send a messege to the body that it’s close to edgculation even though i was mainly using the pc muscle,is it possibale at all to train one of this three muscles pc bc ic to an extant which pushes egculation faster?
    I cant saperate or realy understand the ic muscle or even feel it,can you explain furder more plainly?,as it was not very clear in the articals.
    Is it common that some guys start with kegels and get the opesit effect ?
    And what now when i’v already created diffrent muscles memory than i used to have back than?. My muscles memory now is of an uncontrolable mucles.

    with some of you input that you wrote on this subject
    I will try to cultivate a more suitable way for my body to adjust to my desire.

    I would love to hear some tips and advice about how to deal with my specifice situation.

    I would very much appriciate you ansewring questions that i had not wirtten with a question mark,and creating questaions out of the confusion or lack of awareness or understanding that you can find in my messege. Pleas reply in much detail as you can,and ansewr unasked question.

    With much gratitude.


    • Hi Donliraz

      I hope you understand, but I’m going to have to condense all of your questions into something a bit shorter, purely because of the lack of time I have to answer so many questions!

      It’s kind of impossible for me to diagnose and tell you exactly what happened and why it happened. So many of your questions are possibilities – you’ve obviously done your research! But working out the cause is impossible for me.

      What seems likely though is that like some men do, you just did a lot of kegels – perhaps too much. Where before you didn’t get full erections and lasted for an extremely long time, now you’ve developed the muscle strength to pump more blood into your penis – thus getting strong erections – but also making yourself less relaxed and finishing quicker.

      My advice would be to stop doing all those strong kegel squeezes for a few weeks, focus on relaxation again and see what happens. I’ve seen some websites where specialists offer to help with pelvic floor muscle rebalancing etc, but I personally think a more discreet first step is to just stop all the tensing, focus on relaxation and give some time for your muscles to go back to a less active state.

      So, do some masturbation practice where you try not to stress about the situation, and also try not to tense your body at all. Go slow, keep those muscles soft and relaxed if you can, and see how it goes.

      Hopefully the involuntary contractions will stop in time, but if they don’t, perhaps speak to your doctor about it if it keeps worrying you.

    • Hi Donliraz,

      I personally have always ejaculated quickly and I was wondering how pleasureful lasting longer is. Basically what I understand is that you were able to last much longer and had lower erection level, but was it as pleasurable as a full on erection? How does the previous 15 mins compare with the 1 min? Is it like sustained stimulation or no pleasure for a long time then lots of pleasure for the last minute before ejaculating?

      I have a hard time rapping my head around how the hell do people last longer. (Ironically you’re wondering the same now)

      Best Wishes,

  34. Hi Ethan.
    Lets forget about the well written content and and first thank u for helping so many.

    I just wanted to know please.

    U mentioned alot of times about just RELAXING the entire area during sex. I find this bit more easy for now than isolating the pc muscleexwill this have the same effect as relaxing that particular muscle only?

    • Hi Jay
      Thanks for the compliment, and you’re welcome. It’s a pleasure knowing the articles help!
      That’s an interesting question – I really don’t know whether simply relaxing would have the same effect as actively focusing on reverse kegels. I’m tempted to say that if you can get really relaxed, then it would do.
      Thinking back to experiences I’ve had myself, I think when I’ve managed to get myself into a really good state of physical and mental relaxation, it’s had a very positive effect on my lasting time. The reverse kegel action can be effective when you do it, but again, it’s just a ‘tool’ to use when you’re getting too aroused. The rest of the time, it’s best to focus on relaxation. So theoretically, to me at least, if you master the relaxation bit, you could avoid any need to do any kegels!
      I hope that made sense…

  35. Thanks for the helpful article Ethan. I appreciate you taking the time to try to describe this complexing movement in detail. I think I’m getting there but still don’t find it helps much when I have sex. Some days I feel like I can do a reverse kegel and slow myself down. But most of the time I squeeze, push or whatever it is and nothing really happens. I’m not giving up hope just yet as it sounds like if I do get it, it will be very effective. If…

    • Hi Craig
      You’re welcome – I’m glad it was helpful. I understand what you mean. Reverse kegels aren’t easy, and even when you understand the muscles involved, actually getting the movement to do something useful during sex isn’t easy. Stick with it though and hopefully in time you’ll work it out.

  36. Hi Ethan,

    I’ve been reading up on kegels and PE and came across your site. I’ve only just began to do these exercises and I’m afraid that I’m doing it wrong, even though I can identify the muscles while urinating etc. Is it a good idea to do them while urinating?

    • Hi MJ
      I hope the site is useful for you. No, you shouldn’t practice kegels when urinating. It’s just a trick to work out which muscles to use. When you practice, do it lying or sitting down.

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