Dealing With Premature Ejaculation – A Personal Story

This is my story of coping with premature ejaculation, and why I did nothing about it for so long. If it’s a problem you also have, I hope my story will help motivate you tackle it, as well as give you good advice on the best way to do so.

It might also provide some solace in knowing that you’re not the only guy who’s suffered the embarrassment and stress it brings. The article is quite long and personal, but if you can make it through you’ll learn a lot from how I learned to manage the problem.

Losing my virginity and self-respect

Although not all guys develop premature ejaculation because of years of rushed masturbation, I’m fairly sure it played a major role for me. It was even more of a taboo topic when I was younger, and so like many guys I would just do it as fast as possible without any thought.

But as well as that cause, I also think I was just a bit unlucky when losing my virginity. I was a late-starter by modern standards, losing it at 19, and it was with a friend of a friend I met in a nightclub.

After sharing some excited kisses in the club, we went back to my place after it closed to continue the fun we’d been having. By the time things really heated up, I was so excited from hours of close dancing, flirting and foreplay that I didn’t even make it to sex the first time we tried.

I’d never heard of the expression premature ejaculation, but I obviously realized it would have been good to last on the positive side of zero seconds.

I didn’t know it at the time, but my sexual confidence was essentially shattered in that one moment. Like many women, she kept any disappointment to herself and did a good job of making me feel like it was alright. But it clearly wasn’t.

Unfortunately for me (and her), the second time we tried wasn’t much better. And so I realized to my horror and embarrassment that I had absolutely no idea what I was doing. What I didn’t realize was that this was the beginning of the dreaded sexual performance anxiety.

Just to make matters worse I now know that I have a physically sensitive penis. And so, looking back I now realize I was pretty much doomed anyway.

The silence

Over the next few weeks (she must have really liked me!) I discovered the true extent of the problem. Basically, if I went 24 hours or longer without sex, I wouldn’t last more than a minute – if we were lucky.

If we had sex repeatedly, I would get better each time, though rarely lasted longer than 5 minutes. And that depended on her being willing to go through the frustration of waiting for that better second, third or fourth time. And so over the months we gradually had sex less and less.

And the incredible thing is that we never once spoke about it.

To this day the only thing that I still find a little embarrassing is that for the next few years I didn’t speak to any partner about it, nor did I do anything about it. Not even when I was married.

Interestingly, no girlfriend ever tried hard to talk to me about it, apart from my ex-wife sometimes jokingly calling me a ‘bastard’ when I came too soon.

Admittedly we would sometimes talk about the fact that I often came too quickly, but never in the terms that it was a problem that needed fixing. In fact what happened is that we also had sex less and less often, to the point of almost never.

The excuses

I then selfishly managed to conjure up the excuse that it was precisely because we didn’t have sex very often that I couldn’t handle it on the times that we did. Whilst technically true, the reality is that it’s not a chicken or the egg situation. It was my fault for not addressing it sooner.

It was only after I split up with my wife (premature ejaculation wasn’t the reason, so don’t panic if your story is similar!), that one day out of the blue I admitted to myself that I had a serious problem.

That day, and I remember it more clearly than losing my virginity, was both a terrible and great day. It was terrible because admitting that I had a problem also meant realizing that I should have done so many years before.

How many times had I left frustrated women screaming in silence in the dark? How many times had they joked or complained about me with their friends?

On the plus side, however, it meant I could see if the internet would provide some solutions. And it did.

First steps to dealing with it

For someone who spent years ignoring it, when I finally got round to dealing with premature ejaculation, I became very dedicated (as you probably guessed by the existence of this website).

The hardest part was admitting it was a problem. Everything else would simply be research and practical steps. Or so I hoped.

After reading a few vague articles in men’s health magazines I discovered a popular eBook called the Ejaculation Trainer (if you’re interested, you might find my Ejaculation Trainer review useful).

Reading that book basically gave me two things: hope and homework. The key, apparently, to curing premature ejaculation was practicing various techniques during masturbation and/or sex.

I found out though that it can take a while for these natural techniques to pay off fully. But in the meantime there were some tips I learned from the book which I could try out.

I tried putting together a bunch of the techniques the next time I had sex, and definitely saw improvements. But it was a bit hit or miss; once or twice I found I could suddenly last considerably longer, but an equal number of times I only lasted a little longer.

Trying out desensitizing products

Funnily enough it was one of the books suggesting that you don’t need desensitizing products that first alerted me to their existence. Don’t you just love it when that happens? At the time I was starting to realise that I had a sensitive penis, so thought it would be worth trying.

I first tried out the benzocaine condoms, but found them annoying to use. I also tried Priligy, but that didn’t make much difference, and didn’t agree with me either.

I then tried several different desensitizing sprays and creams. I kept finding problems with those as well though, and was growing more and more frustrated that I couldn’t find anything that worked.

After lots of trial and error I eventually discovered an effective delay spray called Promescent (again, if you’d like to know more, you can check out my promescent review)

This was the first time I found something which really worked. It was still only a temporary measure, but a damn good one and nothing short of a miracle in my eyes at the time.

So now I had something which would instantly help me to last 10 to 20 minutes. It was time to really focus my attention on the natural techniques to see if I could cure the problem once and for all.

The natural techniques

I spent a couple of months without a partner and put my mind to cracking the natural techniques. I practiced the techniques in the book almost every day, along with learning to understand and control my arousal levels.

I think it was around 2 months before I had sex again and got to put my hard work to the test. Trying not to feel anxious was difficult, but definitely important.

I’d done some research about the anxiety side of things, and had also prepared myself to deal with that. And the result was that all my efforts had indeed helped.

The first time wasn’t a very reliable test because I was a bit drunk – probably a good re-introduction as alcohol does tend to help me! But when having sex the next day I found I was still able to last considerably longer than before.

The ironic thing is that I’d come to the conclusion that talking about it would reduce the anxiety, and so help me last longer. So when the woman I was with gazed into my eyes and said “trust me, you don’t have a problem”, it was an awesome moment.

I was absolutely over the moon with delight. Could I finally say that I no longer had a problem, and had beaten premature ejaculation?

The on-going situation

What I’ve now come to realize is that for the natural techniques to work long-term – at least for me – I do need to stay conscious of them when I have sex.

If I get lazy and become complacent then my lasting time starts will slowly start to drop back down again. Especially when I’ve been single and not focused on my arousal when alone for a few months.

If I abandon everything I’ve learned about arousal control, breathing, stopping when necessary and many other important techniques and just go for it, it’s amazing how much sooner I’ll finish.

The other problem is that I’ve still got a sensitive penis, and it probably always will be. I think because of that I still have difficulties in some circumstances – mainly when I’m with a new partner after being single for a while.

That’s definitely the most difficult time to make all the natural techniques work. So when you’ve been single for a while and had problems with premature ejaculation in the past, I think it’s important to have realistic expectations of what you can do with a new partner.

For guys who are either playing the field, or just unlucky in love, then a desensitizing product is probably a good thing to have to hand as well.

My advice for you

If you’ve only just had that horrible dawning realization that you don’t last long enough during sex, then the single most important thing I think you can do is to stay focused on dealing with it.

Make the effort to find what works for you. And if you do decide to give the natural path a go, then don’t give up too soon.

As with so many things in life, accepting that you have a problem is the hardest part. From here on in it might be a case of trial and error, and probably time unless you’re going to pay for desensitizing products for your whole life.

For someone who studied Psychology and was working in mental health, I still can’t believe it took me so many years to man up, accept some responsibility and deal with my premature ejaculation problem.

3 Years on

I originally wrote this article in 2013, and 3 years later I’m happy to say that things are even better. Over time I’m pretty sure I’ve developed a finely-tuned understanding of my arousal levels, and all the signs that I’m over-heating, so to speak.

I’m now able to control myself to the extent that I would no longer say I suffer from premature ejaculation. I can last at least 10 minutes every time, sometimes much longer.

If I don’t use a condom and feel particularly aroused, sure my time can drop back down. But I’ve now become more confident in taking control of my sex life, and do all the right things to keep my arousal in check.

So my advice to you is to get started learning how to control your arousal as soon as possible. It can be done, even if physical sensitivity is an issue!

Your thoughts

Leave a comment below if my story struck a cord with you. Does any of it sound similar to what you’ve experienced? Is there anything you’ll do differently as a result of reading this article?


50 CommentsLeave a comment

    • Hi DJ Maho
      They can certainly cause discomfort and numbing in the same way they can to a guy if too much is used. That’s why it’s important to wait until they start working, then wash the residue off before having sex.

    • Hi Jack
      It’s impossible to say. I don’t think age necessarily has that big an impact. Many guys don’t lose their virginity until their 20s or 30s. Some have PE, some don’t. Some do to start with, then improve rapidly. So my advice would be not to worry about it until you have sex and it happens – because it might not!

  • I think it’s awesome you wrote this. Good for you and I’m glad things have improved. I personally love a good pounding but I bet you’d love to give a good pounding. It’s so much fun. I hope you’re able to now. Here’s the thing. I don’t have a problem with a man who comes quickly. If my anatomy was built in such a way that it was surrounded by the a thing that causes orgasams the entire time I was having sex, I know I’d be a preemie. I’ve orgasmed in less than a minute with a vibrator. So I really feel for you guys. I understand. What I have a problem with is you thinking sex is over because YOU’RE done. Excuse me buddy, this was a team effort just a second ago. What the hell happened? And man, am I a team player. Even when I’m sick. Maybe I have a ‘women’s situation’ going on and my lower regions out if commission. I’ve still got a mouth and hands. I’m right there on the field, working hard and aiming to win. Why not help your partner out, even when YOU’RE done? Don’t worry so much about premature ejaculation, worry about making your partner happy.

    • Hi Peetree
      Thanks for your comment and supportive words! It’s always good to hear from a woman who’s read the article and enjoyed it. It’s also useful for readers to read women’s views on the topic. I totally agree that it’s a problem if a guy declares game over after he finishes – especially if he finishes quickly. There’s so much more to sex that just penetration, so it’s a guy’s responsibility to ensure the whole team is looked after!

  • Hi Ethan

    Thanks for sharing your story, it really gives me hope that there is a solution for this.

    I also suffer from PE which I believe was due to over masturbation in my teens! My first few sex experiences was no problem, as all of them happened when I was blind drunk! The problem came in when I did it sober! It did not really bother me for a while, until recently!

    I have found the woman of my dreams, and we are great together. The sex however is now becoming an issue! I can never have sex continuously for more than a minute, without pulling out to stop ejaculation! But during this time, I always went to oral sex and gave my gf some amazing orgasims. After which we continue to have sex until I climax! She has now confessed to me that our sex is not really satisfying anymore because she always orgasm from oral sex and not penetration and she wants more “closeness”! This just crushed me as a man, and I have such low confidence now! So I have decided that I want to overcome this issue, but I would like to ask for your help!

    I bought the promecent spray, but the problem is that it takes 10-15 mins to take affect! How can I introduce it into the relationship, without “making an appointment” that we will have sex tonight? She is fully aware of the spray though!

    Then, is there any books to recommend that will help me? I see everyone speak about edging etc?

    I would really appreciate your help.

    Goodluck to everyone suffering from the same issue! May we all overcome this horrible issue and enjoy the time with our lived ones!


    • Hi there
      Thanks for your comment, and I’m glad you found the article helpful. Sorry to hear you’re having the same issue, and were landed with that bombshell! However, it’s good that she’s honest and it gives you an opportunity to do something about it – as you say – so you can both be as satisfied as possible. That’s better than the women who keep it to themselves for years, slowly getting more and more annoyed and then avoiding sex completely!
      So, if the promescent is working for you, that’s great. I don’t think you need to worry about making an appointment. You can just keep it at the ready, and when you do feel that sex is on the cards because there’s some foreplay happening, you can just be open about it. Put the spray on, then go back to the foreplay until the 10-15 mins is up.
      If she’s that honest with you, then I think the trick is to see the problem from a “team” perspective. Tell her that this is the best way for the spray to work, and then just try to fit it into your foreplay and sex as best as possible.
      Then in the meantime, yes, things like edging are your best shot at overcoming it naturally in the long-run. You can check out one of my recommended premature ejaculation books if you want lots of info. about these techniques and more suggestions. But also, have a look around this site as I’ve written a lot myself about the techniques you can try. I particularly recommend an article I wrote about ways you can last longer tonight. There are lots of tips there which can be put into practice right away.
      All the best

  • Hi Ethan,

    I started seeing a guy (he is 29) who might have the same problem, but we haven’t talked about this yet. Basically, there is a pink elephant between me and my partner. I need to talk to him about this, but I don’t know how to start this conversation without making him feel uncomfortable. What would you suggest?


    • Hi Alexandra
      I understand your concern – it’s not an easy subject to bring up and discuss with a guy. Lots of women end up keeping quiet about it for fear of upsetting their partner, or because they raise it once and don’t get the response they hope for. I think the main thing is to be gentle about it, and try to approach it constructively – have some ideas at hand and say you want to work together to try some things to increase how long you have sex for. Try not to criticise, and choose your moment carefully – not straight after a disappointing sex session. Find a time when you’re both close, start a conversation about sex and slowly bring up the idea of trying stuff to last longer. At the end of the day, it’s a fine line between making sure you get him to understand your needs, and not attacking his pride so that he clams up. Every guy will react differently, so only you will know how to really tackle it with him. Just to emphasise again, I think it’s good to have some ideas at the ready, such as a delay spray or only being in positions where it’s easier to last, such as spoons or you on top. Avoid missionary and doggy for example. Get him to use a condom, and go in for a second round.
      If you don’t have any luck, let me know how it went and I’ll see if I can suggest anything.

  • Thanks for this article! I’ve had issues with coming too fast for my whole life, and I’m at the point where I was considering a sex therapist to help me be better for my wife. I will take a look at the book and spray you suggested, even 5 minutes regularly would be awesome!

    • Hi Dan
      You’re welcome! I’m glad you found the article useful. I think a sex therapist can be very helpful, but if you can deal with the problem yourself it’s worth giving a shot in my opinion. Unless you think your problem is psychological or emotional, in which case go for it if you have access to a therapist.

  • This is the second article I have read by you and it’s truly inspiring. I am currently doing the stop-start method to improve my duration in sex. I hype myself up by literally collecting the data. The following has helped me out a lot:
    -I set a timer on my phone for 10 minutes and 30 seconds
    -I masturbate and record the time I stopped at before the “point of no return”
    -I wait a minute
    -and I resume masturbating.
    -I stop at the point of no return and record the time elapsed
    -at the end of the 10 minutes and 30 seconds, I find the average of my duration.
    I do the stop-start method every other day. Tomorrow will be my 4th day and I’ve been seeing nothing but improvements. Jumping from 36 seconds to 52 seconds in 3 days (and these are just the averages! My first interval improves every other day!).

    With my girl friend away for college, I have about 3 months to practice and improve my stamina. I have a couple questions though.
    1. Given my short durations during masturbation, would it be helpful to increase the timer to 20 minutes rather than 10 and a half minutes? Also, should I do this every day for optimal results? My thoughts on doing it everyday is that the penis is like a muscle, you need to give it time to relax. Please correct me if I’m wrong. Do I need to give my penis a break and go with the “every othe day” routine, or will doing the stop-start method daily yield better results?
    *Note* the average duration i mentioned above (36 to 52 seconds) is short for a reason, I believe. The first time i take a break is the longest time I last during masturbation, if that makes sense. For example, my first interval now lasts around 70-80 seconds. My second interval will be around 60. And it’ll slowly decrease to the low 20s (seconds) before my time is up and I allow myself to ejaculate.

    2. I was able to significantly improve my performance anxiety that was hindering my erection. Initially, I couldn’t get hard enough to even wear a condom. Now i get “hard enough” to put a condom on. I would still love some tips on how to maintain a hard erection. My gf says it’s okay if I don’t get fully hard. And I know she means it; however, I’d still love to maintain a rock hard erection to make sex easier– not to mention to increase the pleasure for both my partner and i. Speaking to her about having trouble maintaining an erection has truly helped. I’d appreciate any additional help!

    Thank you in advance,

    -Vick (Pseudonym to remain anonymous)

    • Hi Vick
      Thanks for your comment and compliment – I’m glad you found my articles useful and inspiring!
      Well done for really getting stuck into practicing this technique – and well done for already making some improvements. I’m sure you’ll continue to increase that time over the next couple of months.
      To answer your questions:
      1. I don’t think it matters really. When doing kegels it’s important to take rests. But the start stop I think can be done every day if you like. I don’t see any harm in doing so. However, I don’t have and evidence to say which works better – every day or every other day. But from personal experience, I think the more you practise, the better you get.
      2. You might find it interesting to read an article I wrote about not getting erections with new partners. It might not totally apply to you, but still might have some useful ideas.

  • I am not circumcised, I’ve been looking into it lately, I have heard lots of mixed reviews on whether the decreased sensitivty increases time or not, was wondering what your thoughts on it were

    • Hi
      I’ve heard that it can reduce sensitivity, yes. But I’m not sure it’s a good reason to get circumcised!

      • Having worked in the Medical Field, the biggest issue is that the procedure on an adult is a major one. It is not like a quick snip on a child. It is not open heart or anything but I would sure talk to the Doc about the pros and cons.

    • I’m a woman so I don’t have a penis and I can’t know for sure but both uncircumcised men I’ve been with lasted long in bed. There was no problem. It’s a hard decision for you and one that can’t be undone. You may get rid of that foreskin and last longer but you may also never feel as good : / I might rather shoot myself. That may not happen though. These will be your possible outcomes: you’ll last longer but never feel as good, you’ll last longer and feel just as good or you won’t last longer as you won’t feel as good.

    • Hi zmk
      You’re welcome! Hmmm that’s a good question. Perhaps there are medical definitions, but for me it was just a case of acknowledging the fact that it feels extremely sensitive to the touch. And when I had any sexual contact, sometimes it was so sensitive I would almost jump due to the sensation!

  • Thank you very much for your inspiring story. I am a twenty year old who is experiencing pe, given that I have been masturbating for the past six years. I can hardly go for a minute and worse still I find myself ejaculating before penetration. Reading your story gives me hope that I can too fix this problem early in advance. However am worried on how do it without a patner and which method will best suit me.

    • Hi Steve
      Thanks for your comment, and I’m pleased to hear my story was inspiring. I’m sure you’ll manage to get in under control as well with a little effort. If you don’t have a partner, my advice would be to get a realistic vagina to practice with – they make a big difference! And then to use it with basic, but effective techniques like the start and stop technique. If you want to really get stuck into learning lots about premature ejaculation, then you could get a book as well. But if not, then check out my article about the start and stop technique for something you can get stuck into right away.

  • Thanks for all of your advice and I wanna say that I’m very happy for you working yourself up to admit you have a problem. Good job to every one out there who is willing to admit it and solve the problem. I used to over masturbate at my teens and thanks to this website it helped me a lot.thanks

    • Hi Bryce
      Thanks for your kind words, both to me and other readers. I’m glad the website was useful to you, and you’re very welcome for the advice.

  • I totally relate to this man! I had the same issue for years. Just didn’t really think of it as something I should and could fix. Now I’m well on my way with some of the techniques you talk about and having good success so far. Up from 2 mins av to at least 5 most days. Spent a couple weeks on the start stop, kegels and getting to understand arousal etc and it’s been good so far. Will keep at it for sure! D

    • Hi Donny
      Thanks for your comment – it’s great that you’ve had progress with the techniques! I wish you all the best with them and hope your stamina just keeps getting better.

  • Hey man, thanks for sharing your story… I have a serious case of PE. My english is not that good, please excuse me. I have become aware of this problem when I ws a teenager. Today I am 25 and its still haunting me. I have lost girlfriends that I love because of this problem. Some of them said horrible things to me. They told me straight up that I suck in bed and those words really hurt me a lot but I didn’t blame them because I know that I suck. I dont have confidence dating because I know that Im always going to embarrass myself. I had sex with some girl 6 days ago and today she said some horrible things to, she told me that she doesnt wanna see me because I suck in bad, she told me that im not a real man. Im so hurt i just try to hide how i feel. I will start to practice to control my ejaculation. I think my pE developed as a result of over masturbating from the time when I ws a teenage to this year. I have made a promise to quit masturbation and its been 3 months since I have stopped…. Let me just leave it at that. I have so much to say but i will just stop right here.

    • Hi Kabelo
      Thanks for your comment. I’m very sorry to hear that you’ve had these experiences. It sounds like as well as having a problem with PE, you’ve also had a problem with meeting understanding women! Even if someone isn’t happy sexually, I don’t think it’s necessary to insult someone about it. Hopefully you’ll meet someone more understanding soon.
      And while you wait to meet someone else, start practicing self-control techniques is my advice. I think it’s important to take action sooner rather than later. I also don’t think stopping masturbating will help – actually the opposite is true. Learning to masturbate slowly, understanding your arousal levels, and keeping yourself at a lower arousal level is the key to developing better stamina.

  • I agree that admitting a premature ejaculation is the hardest thing. But when open discuss with your partners is a surefire way to coping with PE. Above all, you must put a lot of effort to find the right way to fighting against PE. Thanks for sharing your inspiring story.

    • Hi Joel
      Thanks for your comment. I’m very happy to hear you found the story inspiring. It’s also good to know that you agree with my point of view. I wish you all the best with your future love life!

  • Ethan your story is very relatable. I am with a partner, and often ejaculate within 1 minute. I have started using the edging and arousal techniques over the last few weeks and it has helped a little but slow progress, a few times lasting 5 minutes which was unthinkable before, but still finding that feeling of ejaculating creeps up at the worse times! How long did the edging and arousal techniques take for you to last over 10 minutes. And is that 10 minutes without the need to constantly stop?

    • Hi Jon
      Thanks for your comment. It’s great that you’ve managed to last so much longer already. I think a jump from 1 to 5 minutes in just a few weeks is really good progress, so don’t give up on it. It took me a couple of months to start seeing regular lasting times of over 10 minutes. It is without constantly stopping, yes. However, I would definitely sometimes feel myself getting close and so just change positions or the type of stroke I was using. For me, a position change can make a big difference. At the end of the day, getting to the point where you can go at it hard and fast in one position for 10 minutes will take some time. But as long as you’re both enjoying the sex, changing positions and stroke every minute is ok in the beginning. Little by little you’ll find you can cope for longer in one position and not need to change things to give yourself a break. And even if you sometimes spend some time just resting inside and kissing, caressing etc, it’s fine too. The point is to avoid ejaculating in a minute and it all being over. And I think your partner will probably be very happy if the whole thing is lasting longer, even if it’s not yet at the point of being able to really go for it. Stick with it and you’ll get there!

      • Thanks for the reply. I think the encouraging thing is hearing your success. I get frustrated at myself when I still come in under a minute so lots of work to do! I find the the worse part is the first few moments of penetration. If I can weather this storm then my arousal is a bit more in check but its hard! Is this something you noticed?

        • Hello again!
          You’re very welcome. I’m glad my story is encouraging – that’s good to hear. You’re totally right in that the beginning is the most difficult part to deal with. I definitely noticed that, and to be honest if I don’t have sex for a while, I still find the beginning very difficult. For me the trick is to make sure my partner is really wet before starting. If you have to push against a tighter vagina, it makes you come much quicker. So I like to really make sure she’s warmed up with plenty or manual and/or oral and use lubricant too if that’s not working. Trust me – this will make a big difference! Another trick I’ll share with you that I find really helpful is if I find it too hard to control myself, I just pull out and go to oral sex. Sometimes my partner complains, but then loves it when the oral starts. If you make it a teasing thing of “I’m in control and you just need to lie there and enjoy it”, this can buy you a lot of time. Usually after a few minutes of oral, once you go back to sex, it’s much easier to cope with as you’ve calmed down a lot and she will be even wetter. If you want, you can go back and forth between the two and really drive her crazy – my partner both loves and hates me when I do it, but afterwards always says it was awesome. The key is to be very confident about it and refuse to cave in when she tells you to stop changing. Try it – it might work for you too.

  • Hi ,
    first of all i’m only 17 and consider it as a big problem!
    I have a girlfriend who is okay with it, cause we would go 2 times or even more.
    But i would like to “cure” it, cause i just don’t like it.
    I hoped you would give us some tricks to cure it cause i’m not ready to buy books and supplements cause i’m only at the age of seventeen … I’m not even sure this will ever be fixed.
    (sorry for bad English not my mother language)

    Lots of love Bram

    • Hi Bram
      Thanks for your comment. It’s good that you’ve learned about the importance of going again – it’s a good way to keep both of you satisfied. I don’t think supplements will help at all, that’s why I don’t recommend any on this site. But I do recommend books because they are logical to follow and give you all the info. you need in the right order and enough detail to make sure you do things correctly. There are various tips around this website, which will help you get started. Just take a look around!

  • Wow. This article makes me very happy and very sad. Happy bc I have spent my whole (so far) adult life dealing with it. Sad, bc to know I could have taken control a long time ago sucks. I will be looking into what all you said. As someone who went from porn star until about 20 yrs old to barely even getting penetration since I am basically at the give up stage. Now I can see there is hope. I literally wouldn’t even try to pick up girls for this reason. Lot of my friends I think truly thought I was gay. 🙂 There is nothing wrong with that either, was just making a point. I have now been married for almost 10 yrs and I have become the problem. We have maybe had sex 5 times in the last 4 years. She doesnt say it but I know why. Why get all hot and bothered for me to blow within seconds of it getting good. I very much hope I too can be successful. Have tried many things over lst year or so only to find out I was duped into buying shit that didn’t work at all. Would be so excited after reading a few “reviews” I bought immediately only to see ACTUAL reviews after saying the product was crap. So from an extremely disappointed and nervous husband I hope I can conquer. I love my wife and family and even though she has never said so I know it’s a problem. One that isn’t going away.

    • Hi Andy
      Thanks for your comment and your honest words. I can fully empathize with you in return. It’s horrible indeed when you come to terms with this as a problem and realise how long it’s been going on. But it sounds like now you’re feeling in the right frame of mind to do something about it. You know, my advice would be to talk to your wife about it and work on it together. You might find that it helps reduce the stress of trying to fix it on your own. And it should also mean she’ll be more willing to work with you in trying new things to help you both out. I think if you have a good relationship and understanding, this can be a much easier problem to tackle together rather than on your own. And anyway, if you decide to try things like sprays, she’ll know about it anyway. And if you decide to try the natural techniques, it’s better if she works with you on them. Sure, there are lots of techniques you can practise alone, but also some that you do during sex. And for them to work, she needs to be willing to get involved.
      Stay positive and have faith – I’m sure with some dedication you’ll overcome it.
      All the best,

  • You are right bro. i ve just started with the natural technique and ive notice the times i ejaculate has extended. Edging is one sure way to cure p e. its curable brothers. its all about practising consistently.

    • Hi Fred
      Thanks for your comment. It’s great that you’ve seen some success – long may it continue!

  • Hi…its really good to see Im not alone in the way I think…I did exactly the same thing and buried my head in the sand for so long before doing anything about it…thanks for sharing this story

    • Hi Ian

      You’re definitely not alone there! I’m glad you found my story helpful, and I hope you’ve managed to find something that helps:-)

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