Last updated on: May 26, 2017 By Ethan Green
Do you find it difficult to control when you ejaculate during sex? Do you regularly reach orgasm before your partner does?
If this sounds familiar, you’re definitely not alone – millions of men around the world have the same problem.
I’ve also experienced the frustration and embarrassment of finishing too quickly during sex. It can be a real knock to your self-confidence in the bedroom, and lead to relationship problems if you don’t do something about it.
On this page you’ll find some key information about premature ejaculation, with a discussion of the pros and cons of different treatment options.
Hopefully you’ll find something that gives you better control, helping you and your partner have a more satisfying love life.
- How many men have premature ejaculation?
- Definition and types of premature ejaculation
- What causes it?
- The different types of treatment
- What’s the best treatment?
Below are some key points about premature ejaculation that you might find useful before looking at specific treatment options.
Since most men keep the problem to themselves, nobody really knows the exactly how many suffer from it.
A recent piece of research says that in surveys it ranges from 4% to 30% of men. So let’s face it – nobody knows exactly how many men have it, but it’s definitely a lot!
The definition of premature ejaculation varies from one source to the next, but most experts refer to three main types:
- Lifelong PE – when it’s a problem from the very first sexual encounter. Usually the man ejaculates in under a minute of penetrative sex.
- Acquired PE – when it becomes a problem after months/years of normal sex. The man usually ejaculates in under 3 minutes.
- Normal variable PE – this is the case for many men: sometimes they ejaculate very quickly, and other times last much longer.
In addition, there are some who argue that it’s a subjective thing. Even if a man lasts longer than 3 minutes, it could still be considered premature if he and/or his partner feel it is.
It’s thought that there are various different causes, and sometimes a combination of causes. But in most cases, there simply isn’t a clear cause to be found.
Some scientists argue that it’s a purely biological problem; others that it’s psychological. Possible causes include:
- Abnormal hormonal or brain chemical levels.
- Inflammation or infection of the prostate or urethra.
- Early sexual experience, such as rushed masturbation.
- Sexual abuse.
- Poor body image.
- Guilt leading to rushing it.
- Anxiety about lasting long enough.
- Sex that’s too stimulating.
Before looking at specific treatment options, it’s worth thinking about the main categories.
If you’re going down the self-help route, your main options are:
- Topical anesthetics like delay sprays, creams and condoms.
- Behavioral techniques, found online and in guide books.
- Medications that are available over the counter or online.
If you want to seek professional help, you have 2 main choices:
- Speak to your doctor, who might also recommend self-help. Additionally, they might offer counselling and/or medical treatments.
- Speak to a counselor or therapist. If you feel that there’s a psychological cause, or it’s causing you personal distress and relationship problems, it can be helpful to speak to a counselor about it.
As yet, there’s no treatment which works perfectly for all men. That’s why doctors offer different treatment choices to try out.
It’s also why I suggest trying different approaches, and even combining them to see if you can hit the problem from different angles.
In terms of scientific research, studies often point to medical treatments like anti-depressants and delay sprays/creams being the most effective solution.
Unfortunately, no medical treatments cure it – so you have to keep taking them. Additionally, most of them can cause unpleasant side effects.
There’s also growing research showing that natural behavioral techniques can help. And my personal experience has definitely been positive with those methods.
So even if you do choose the easier option of a delay spray or oral medication to start with, I recommend working on your control naturally too.
So what’s the best option?
My personal opinion is that it’s better to avoid strong medication unless nothing else works.
Try starting with a delay spray if you’re currently sexually active. And at the same time start working on the natural behavioral techniques.
Delay sprays, sometimes referred to as topical anesthetics, are one of the best ways to tackle premature ejaculation. They aren’t a cure, and need to be used every time you have sex, but for many men they work very well.
The main advantages
- Available without a prescription.
- Used on demand when you have sex.
- Usually work in around 10-15 minutes.
- Can help you last several minutes longer, and sometimes much longer.
- Some can be used with oral sex and with or without a condom.
- Usually safe for most men.
- They don’t always work for all men equally, so there’s no guarantee of success.
- They can sometimes cause too much numbing, leading to erection loss.
- Some can cause a tingling or burning sensation.
- You have to use them properly to avoid transference to your partner.
The spray I’ve personally found to be most effective is Promescent, which you can find at Promescent.com
Stud 100 review
There’s a surprisingly wide range of natural techniques to stop premature ejaculation. Some simply involve changing the way you have sex – little ‘light bulb moments’ like these:
- Masturbate an hour before sex
- Wear a condom
- Spend less time in the missionary position or from behind
- Master the art of oral sex
- Have sex more often
Others involve specific techniques you’ll have to practice for longer, like the start and stop method, the squeeze technique and kegels etc.
The aims of behavioral techniques
- Develop an understanding of how your body and mind work when aroused.
- Learn ways to keep your arousal levels lower.
- Develop the physical ability to stop yourself from ejaculating.
- Change the way you have sex so it’s less arousing.
- Change the way you think about sex so it’s not all about penetration and orgasm.
The main advantages
- It doesn’t involve medication.
- There are no ongoing costs or risks of side effects.
- There’s the chance of permanently stopping your premature ejaculation.
- If done right, you can have sex for much longer, not just a few minutes.
- Changing the way you approach sex can be very positive for you and your partner.
- It might not work for all guys, especially those with a physical cause.
- It can take time and dedication to see the best results.
If you’d like a complete guide to the natural techniques, the one I personally used and had great results from is the Ejaculation Trainer, which you can find at EjaculationTrainer.com
But if you’re in a relationship and your partner is open to working with you, I’d probably recommend a guide called Ejaculation By Command. You can find it at EjaculationByCommand.com
First of all, I should mention that I’m not a doctor. So my knowledge about the drug treatments is based on personal experience and research – not medical training.
From my understanding, there are a few different categories of oral medical treatment:
- Anti-depressants like paroxetine, sertraline, fluoxetine and clomipramine. A side effect of anti-depressants is that they can cause delayed ejaculation.
- Dapoxetine (priligy). This was originally intended to be another anti-depressant, but ended up becoming an approved oral medication for PE in some countries.
- Tramadol. This is a strong pain killer, which seems to work well for PE, though does have concerns regarding side effects and dependency.
- Erectile dysfunction drugs – for some men, drugs like sildenafil (viagra), tadalafil (Cialis) and vardenafil (Levitra) seem to help with ejaculation control too.
- Herbal and other remedies – I’ve seen and tested a range of supposed remedies for PE. Unfortunately, none of them worked for me and the ingredients usually aren’t regulated, so I don’t advise them.
Advantages of oral medication
- Proven in clinical trials to work, often adding several minutes to mens’ lasting time.
- You can take them discreetly on an ongoing basis, so your partner doesn’t need to know about it.
- You don’t have to do anything other than take a pill.
- They can cause side effects, some of which can be serious, including other types of sexual dysfunction.
- You need to get a prescription from your doctor for some of them.
- They won’t cure the problem, so you need to take them on an ongoing basis.
I can understand why oral medication will appeal to some men. I had some success with them personally, so I know they can help and with minimal effort.
But I also had some minor side effects when trying them. So I recommend weighing up the pros and cons carefully before taking any strong medication.
Because I’m not a doctor, I don’t feel comfortable recommending medication. I think it’s a personal choice best discussed with a medical professional.
However, you can read about my experience testing some of them.
I’ve covered the main treatment choices above, but there are a couple of other options worth considering in addition to those.
Numbing condoms work on a similar principle to delay sprays and creams, but with even more desensitizing due to the condom itself.
Both Durex and Trojan make them, adding a little lidocaine to the inside of the condom which will activate with body heat.
In my experience they work well, but can cause erection loss and a lot less pleasure due to the strong numbing effect.
You can find Durex Performax and Trojan extended climax control in many shops, and also at amazon.com
Fleshlight stamina training unit
If you’re single or live alone, it’s useful to practice ejaculation control techniques with a realistic vagina. It can also help you stay used to more intense levels of physical stimulation for when you next have sex.
I used one and found it was helpful for practicing and perfecting the techniques in a relaxed way without having to worry about a partner.
You can use any realistic vagina really, as long as you know the right techniques. I recommend getting the stamina training unit from the fleshlight website as it comes with a little guide book explaining the best techniques.
Master the art of oral sex
For me personally, improving the skill of oral sex was one of the best ways to deal with premature ejaculation. Getting better at this is as easy as learning some good techniques and then simply deciding to do it more and do it better.
Then no matter how long you last for during sex, you’ll always have a way to make your partner very happy. Trust me, it’s worth spending time on this!
For me personally, the key to overcoming premature ejaculation was to be willing to engage in some trial and error.
There are lots of desensitizing products you can try, and they are available all around the world. And it’s easy to get hold of a guide to the behavioral techniques and start learning control naturally.
So really, you have the short term and the long term approach, which I think are equally important.
If you need something that will immediately improve your love life, you can use one of the temporary desensitizing options. And then start working on the problem naturally to see if you can stop it once and for all.